Chapter 38 – Zanae
38
ZANAE
T he wind wrapped around us as Elijah, and I rode his motorcycle. Clinging to him, fingers entwined, I thought about what my father had done.
When I was younger, my father hurt me in many ways: physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The results were devastating. I lived with my own source of stress my whole life, and it drastically changed my thought process.
But I forgave him because every little girl needs her father to bloom, and I needed him.
I trained, got smarter, tried my best to be more than a soldier, but it never worked. I almost died, screamed for my dad to come and save me, but he never did.
Then I understood that he was my progenitor, but never my father. His men treated me better than he did. It would be a lie to say that I don’t miss my Lebanese family, my guards, and the people who took me to the beach when I was a child because my father didn’t have the time to. Now he hates me even more than before because I couldn’t take his absence anymore.
He had put a threat on me, not just some kind of rumors; he would have paid people to kill me. How could a father wish for the death of his only daughter, especially considering he never showed any love when I lived with him?
Resting my head against Elijah’s back, I found calm in the vibrations connecting me to him. I knew that he was trying to protect me, but God knows how difficult it was for me to let him do so.
I knew he felt me waking up sometimes during my sleep, having nightmares and crying. But he would always do the same thing, carefully take me back into his arms, kiss my head, and let me sleep again.
But he was suffering too, and I hated it, I hated it so much.
My beautiful Elijah held me so many nights, he kissed me so many times to reassure me, and I felt so weak from repeating this again and again.
“I love you,” I whispered, but the wind fragmented my words, leaving only this ache in my soul.
He deserved the world, and I wanted to offer it to him. How can you offer the world to someone when your own is torn apart?
I don’t know yet, but I’ll learn how, for him.
I grew up learning to find the will to survive in my own broken pieces, living in the shadows of a father who couldn’t see any light in me.
He never called me pretty, hugged me, or smiled at me. He never smiled at anyone sincerely. But can I blame him for being sick? Can I blame him for being devoid of so many emotions?
I almost felt bad for him, or maybe I envy him for that.
His absence could never be healed, and the emptiness it left is haunting—a fucking regret that will never fade away. Never .
But I had the Devil by my side; and he loved every drop of darkness that flooded my veins.
Somehow, it made me feel less monstrous.
It almost made me feel beautiful enough.
Arriving at Nikolai’s doorstep, he opened the door and behind him I saw my friend and her son.
What the fuck is happening?
Miranda, eyes red from dried tears, holding June asleep in her arms.
I rushed to her side, “ Mira , what’s going on? Why are you crying”
She sighed, her voice trembling, “A woman approached June at school, handing him a red letter addressed to his Aunt Zee.”
Nikolai’s eyes flashed with anger and worry for me. “She went too far.”
Elijah’s gaze sharpened; his hand found its way on my back. “What was in the letter?”
Miranda handed the paper with shaky fingers to me, just a quote, ‘It’s about time, Zanae.’
I grabbed my phone, and subtly typed a message to Brian, asking her if she had new information about that woman or anything related to those vendettas.
June stirred in his sleep, waking up with a bright smile when he saw me. “Aunt Zee!” I scooped him into my arms, kissing his forehead. “Hey, baby. I missed you.” My eyes softened looking at this little boy.
“What are we going to do?”
“We’re going to find out who she is and make her regret everything she’s doing right now, I promise, Miranda.”
June settled in my arms, and I caressed his hair asking softly. “Juny baby, were you scared when the woman talked to you?” I asked, and he nodded.
You’re putting him in danger too.
Not now.
You’re going to get him killed too?
I’m going to protect him.
This woman had crossed a line, threatening my family. I’m going to find her, and fucking kill her for making my little baby scared. She thought she could just threaten people I love, but she can’t, and she’ll find that out, her and all that fucking organization.
Elijah and Nikolai took my little boy outside for an ice cream, leaving Miranda and I alone in the living room.
I knew her damn well to see when she was worried, and now I could sense it on her features, she was scared. I sat beside her, leaving my hand on hers.
“Miranda,” I began softly, “We’ll get through this. I promise.”
She smiled at me weekly. “Zee, it’s frustrating, she went to June. What if this person comes after us again?”
“I won’t let anyone hurt you or June. You know I will always protect you two,” I admitted, squeezing her hand.
“Promise me you won’t do anything dangerous. June is fine, I am fine too. I know how your mind works, you want revenge, but you’re already working on one. So don’t do something reckless.”
“I’ll handle this with caution, for all of us. We’ll find out who’s behind this.”
Miranda’s eyes softened, “As long as you don’t put yourself at risk.”
“I’m not in danger, I promise. And you and June are part of this family, and we take care of our own.”
I lied, I was in danger, but threatening my only family was the worst idea someone could ever have.
The trio returned, June’s giggle filled the room, his soft voice screaming proudly, “Uncle Eli almost punched Uncle Niko! But then they laughed, and now they’re friends again!”
I couldn’t help but smile at his little face. “Thank God, we can’t have Uncle Eli and Uncle Niko fighting,”
Elijah grinned, ruffling June’s hair. “No, we can’t. We need him to cook you that chocolate cake you wanted, don’t we, June?”
June nodded, ice cream threatening to topple from his cone. “Yes, and Uncle Eli is the best at playing superheroes with me!”
Miranda and Niko laughed, masking the worry and concern. But Elijah’s gaze lingered on me. He could sense my anger; he could see the plans forming in my mind, he knew me well enough to understand that I wasn’t going to let this slide.
After a few more minutes, we decided to head home. I exchanged a tight hug with Miranda, and kissed June’s soft cheeks.
Elijah pulled me aside before leaving, “Zanae, whatever you’re thinking, promise me you won’t do something stupid.”
“I won’t sit back and do nothing. This threat is personal. I need to find out who’s behind it.”
Elijah sighed; he cupped my face gently, leaving a small kiss on my forehead. “Just be careful, okay?”
I nodded, “Okay.”
With that, we left Miranda’s place, and went back home.
I knew exactly what I needed, I had a plan, I just needed confirmation and a freaking name.
The following day, I had a rendezvous with Brian, and I told Elijah about it.
His expression betrayed his overprotective side, and he assigned a bodyguard to accompany me. I agreed, and kissed him before making my way to the parking lot, where Lévi was already waiting for me
“Madam,” he said stoically, leading me towards the car.
“Lévi, you can call me Zanae, we practically know each other now,” I answered before getting in the car.
Arriving at the place, I spotted Brian and motioned for Lévi to take a nearby table, to give us some privacy.
“Hey you, what’s going on? You scared me yesterday.”
I sat next to her, and began, “I need information on the woman’s associates. I think that if we find anyone recognizable that was with her in any of the pictures you discovered, it could serve as a starting point.”
She grabbed her laptop and leaned back, “Let me see if we can find some recognizable face.”
After a few minutes, Brian almost yelled from joy, “Bingo! Got a picture here with our mystery woman and a dude. He’s in a lot of the pics, Huntress. I think we found one of her friends. Let me do a quick ID check.”
My eyes were fixed on the screen.
Please let it be someone I can find and talk to and not someone in another state or country.
Brian’s fingers danced over the keyboard, and she smirked, “Well, Zanae, meet Mr. Mystery’s identity.”
A picture of the man with his name was on the screen, Marcelo Delga.
“Brian, this changes everything.”
She leaned closer to me, her eyes filled with concern, “Hey, no solo missions, no impulsive moves.”
“I can’t let him slip away.” We needed a plan, a good fucking one. “So, we need to find out everything about Marcelo – his habits, routines, everything.”
Typing away on her laptop, she replied, “I’m already on it, Zanae. Marcelo frequents the same bar every night, a small joint near his workplace, I hate lawyers... Seems he’s got a penchant for routine, Bo-fucking-ring.”
A bar next to his workplace? Perfect. It means this man follows a predictable routine. I need to understand his environment before I start studying him.
“Could you show me surveillance videos of his recent visits there so I can see his habits and prepare?”
Brian nodded and began searching for what I requested. After a few minutes, she showed me some footage. “I think he’s a fan of martinis,” she said, zooming in on the same cocktail he always orders.
Another detail stands out. “He never leaves alone, so he’s constantly looking for a one-night stand. Perfect,” I murmured to myself, mentally adding more details about him. His drink choice and social habits show he likes to appear sophisticated
“Perfect. Tonight, I’ll go to that bar, try to strike up a conversation, and get some information. Brian, you’ll be there too, but incognito, just in case anything happens.”
She smirked. “I’m in. But we need to make sure your overprotective hunk of a man doesn’t tail you.”
I sighed, looking back at Lévi who was already scrutinizing the whole place to make sure it was safe.
Elijah will never let me leave alone, now that he knows that a threat is on me. “Yeah, I’ll have to come up with something to keep Elijah at bay. Maybe tell him I need some alone time or something, I’ll figure this out.”
Brian chuckled. “Oh, I know how hard it is to have someone like him being always behind everything you do. You handle him, and I handle the surveillance. We’ve got this.”
“Yeah, easier said than done...”
She laughed, nodding toward Levi. “The Pakhan sent you with a bodyguard here, so it’s going to be a mission too.”
“He wanted to send an entire car full of guards at first. It’s a miracle there’s only one of them…” I said exasperated, before meeting her gaze. “We can’t let him go, Brian.”
“We won’t, Zanae,” she promised.
After that, we went back home, Lévi pulled into the driveway, my mind still processing the discovery.
We had a name, a place, we had something this time.
He parked the car and I glanced at him, he remained silent, his gaze focused on the surroundings. I reached for my phone and texted Miranda.
Me
Hey, I need you to do me a favor. Can you cover for me tonight? Tell the guys I’ll be staying at your place. It’s important.
Miranda
Of course, but why? Is there a problem? If it’s dangerous, then you better tell me.
Me
No worries. Everything will be fine. Please.
Miranda
Okay, I’ll wait for you tonight.
I sighed with relief and got out of the car. When I entered the house, where Elijah awaited, I went closer to him and planted a gentle kiss on his cheek while he was working
“Hey, you,” I said, smiling. “Miranda invited me to stay at her place tonight. Girls’ night, you know?”
You’re lying.
He pulled me closer and kissed my temple, “What if I just want you for myself? Plus, I don’t like the idea of you staying out of the house tonight.”
“It’s just a girls’ night, Elijah. It’s been a while.”
He exhaled deeply, still worried, but he nodded. “Alright, but call me if anything feels off. I’ll take you there.”
I smiled, grateful for his protectiveness. “Thank you, Volkov.”
He leaned over, giving me a lingering kiss. “You’ll thank me later.”
Later that night, Elijah took me to Miranda’s house, we exited the car together, and he walked me to her door.
My heart was beating so fucking fast, I was so scared he would hear it.
I hated the idea of lying to him, but I know him damn well to know that if I had told him about this plan, he would laugh and fucking lock me somewhere he could watch me to make sure I don’t do it.
Before I entered, he cupped my face in his hands. “Take care, alright? I’ll be waiting for your call.”
It sounded like a threat. And I’m pretty sure it was somehow. But I just nodded, giving him a final kiss before entering Miranda’s house.
Elijah stayed outside for a moment, watching over the place with a protective gaze. Crazy .
I looked at my reflection in the mirror, adjusting the strap of my black dress.
What was I doing?
Miranda entered the room, raising an eyebrow at me.
“Do I even need to ask what you’re planning to do tonight? Or is it better for my sanity to remain in denial?” She asked almost ironically.
“Denial is better,” I replied, smiling.
Her gaze shifted to one of concern when she noticed me slipping a gun and a knife into my purse. “Zee, what’s going on? Why do you need those?”
“It’s just a precaution, Miranda. I’m meeting someone, and things might get a little tricky. But trust me, I’ve got it under control.”
Her expression turned serious. “If you don’t text me every two hours, I’m calling Elijah, and I’ll spill the beans. I can’t let you do something dangerous without him knowing.”
“Deal. I’ll keep you updated; I promise.”
We shared a tight hug before I headed out to Brian’s car waiting outside.
I got into it, but my mind was full of Elijah’s worried eyes.
“Ready to humiliate some men?”
I glanced at my reflection in the rearview mirror, a faint smile playing on my lips. “Always ready for that”
The bar was not far from the city, filled with the hum of conversation, the clinking of glasses, and heavy music too. We entered separately, our eyes briefly meeting before we parted ways to execute this perfectly.
I adjusted the earpiece connected to Brian.
“At 8 o’clock on your left, Zanae. Be careful,” she informed me.
Spotting Marcelo at the bar, I confidently approached him, putting on my best flirty smile. “A martini? Isn’t that too strong at this time of the day?” I asked, my voice dropping to a low register.
Marcelo willingly smiled, his eyes stopping at my cleavage. “Never too late for that. Please join me.” Ew .
Our initial conversation was casual, but I quickly pushed it toward a quieter spot.
I needed to be alone with him.
We moved to the back of the bar, outside the building. I tugged on his tie and batted my eyes, pretending to be attracted to him.
Then Brian’s voice came through my earpiece, “Looking good, Z. The huntress is on her way.”
However, just as we opened the doors, Marcelo’s demeanor shifted, and I knew something was off.
He smiled, but his eyes didn’t follow.
I quickly took my weapon out of my bag and kept it behind me.
“She told me you were beautiful, but you’re stunning in real life.”
Confused, I questioned, “Who told you that?”
“Zanae Dellé, pleasure to meet you and see from my eyes why you got the Zennites at your feet.”
He knows me.
How?
“What are you talking about?”
He laughed, turning around before saying, “You got Alonzo, tracked some of us with your little friend waiting for you at the end of the bar, and thought we wouldn’t know?”
“How do you even know me?”
“Amber eyes, long black hair, pale skin. You truly are Lilith, aren’t you?” He scratched his beard, slowly, thoughtful, “The Huntress in action is somehow impressive. You almost got me, honestly. And that mouth, those eyes… let’s not even talk about that body you carry on, Zanae.”
My eyes held so much anger. “This nickname your organization gave me is almost adorable. I didn’t know that I was a threat to you. But I’m glad to be one.”
Undeterred, Marcelo continued, pressing the wrong buttons with every word. “The Pakhan must be a lucky man.”
“Don’t even talk about him.”
The same sadist smile reappeared on his lips. “Oh please. Do you even know where he is tonight? Because I do... This little penthouse is fantastic. So many guards outside too. He must be paranoid.” He laughed with arrogance. “You don’t know anything about the people you’re fighting Zanae, Anything,” he declared with a twisted smile.
So much confidence.
“The same goes to you,” I retorted.
With a smug grin, he said, “The Venom Reapers, right? Oh, I’ve heard about them. The only Pakhan and Don that had succeeded in creating an alliance between the two most powerful parts of the mafia worlds. Dangerous men, but you see, they have a certain... weakness . She told me they could be a problem.”
My eyes were cold, my determination was even bigger than before.
I spoke in a low, menacing tone, “You know nothing about them. You underestimate the Zennites, and you underestimate me.”
He smiled, with the most arrogant kind of smirk and said, “See, that’s the thing, I knew you could be a casualty, but they didn’t believe me. I have to make an example of you, she would be mad, but I don’t care.”
Marcelo leaned against the wall and added, “Do you know what the common denominator is in all of this? It always comes back to you, Zanae Dellé. Your mere existence puts the people you love in danger. You are the sole cause of everything that is happening in this city. If it came, for example, to kill your friend Nikolai Moretti, you should bear his death on your conscience because you are the central piece in this unhealthy game, as you put it so aptly. If you were to leave, everything would be easier for everyone, I believe.”
I mimicked a crying sound, “Oh no, cry me a fucking river, Marcelo.” I aimed my gun at him, “I could’ve been so touched If I had any fucks to give, but I don’t, in fact I never have, thanks to that organization you’re working for.”
Marcelo laughed, “You’re not going to miss them, Miss Dellé, I could just send a text and the house where your little boyfriend lives will be on fire.”
“Are you trying to die?”
“In fact, I’ll just do it to prove to you that you’re messing with the wrong people.”
His phone was in his hand, and I didn’t see anything else other than the possibility of Elijah’s dead body, burned to the bones.
Pure darkness.
When his life was on the line, anger was the only thing I could feel. For him, possessiveness was the poison I drank, yearning for the other person to die.
“One click?—”
No .
It was too late for Marcelo.
Sinister verses written in his own blood were forming on his face.
“ He’s already dead. ” That haunting melody drowned out every sound around me. It was as if the most tragic and gruesome piece of theater was playing out in my mind: my soul forcing me to kill for the man I love, symphonies of dark violence playing around us.
The small breath I inhaled felt infinite, and the crescendo of an orchestra, the horrible touch of pianos and the gritty resonance of violins painted the whole scenario in every part of my mind so vividly.
Death.
One click.
One click.
One click.
Death was the song playing all over again, with vengeance as the symphony accompanying it. My Elijah will never be threatened as long as air fills my lungs.
I was going to kill Marcelo.
In fact, he was already dead.
“You’re the one messing with the wrong ones, Marcelo.” I put a bullet in his leg, making him fall on his knees. His scream cut through the small alley, feeding that symphony only I could hear. “That’s so stupid of you to threaten the man I love.”
Another bullet pierced his abdomen, blood spilling on the ground like the testament to my madness for Elijah Volkov.
Echoes of his whispered pleas danced darkly in the cold air. The melody captivated me.
For the first time in my life, the voices agreed to fight someone else than me, as if my love for this man shadowed my hatred for myself.
“What was the saying again, Marcelo? ‘Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’ , right?”
I knew in that exact moment that I would do anything for Elijah, even if it meant descending further into the purgatory of my own despair.
Marcelo pulled his phone, even if he was fucking crying from pain.
“You’re mad if you think you could stop me or stop us.”
“You’re underestimating the danger that comes when you provoke a woman who’s protective of her man.”
His eyes widened, the color on his face disappeared. With those words, I pulled the trigger, delivering death with a single shot just on top of his temple, his lifeless body slumped on the ground, as I whispered, “Rot in the depths of your own fucking hell.”
Breathing heavily, I looked at Brian who came running when she heard everything through my earpiece. “Zanae, is everything okay?!!”
“Take me to the penthouse. I need to make sure Elijah is safe.”
We hurriedly exited the bar, leaving behind the dead body of Marcelo in this street. The music canceled the loud bang of the gun, but I didn’t even care about it. All I thought about was that if Marcelo didn’t answer a text or anything, there may be a person near the penthouse, ready to kill Elijah.
They were ready to kill anyone surrounding me. Nikolai, Ben, Miranda, June, even Brian.
Why?
Brian’s astonishment was still visible, her gaze switching between me and the macabre scene we left behind.
In my mind, things were becoming darker and darker.
Maybe, he was right, maybe If I just disappeared, it would be selfish, but I would allow them to live without this constant menace I brought to their life.
The only important thing right now is to see if Elijah is okay, Z.
I will think about this mess later.
“Holy fuck, you certainly surpassed the legend of the huntress tonight, Zanae.”
Ignoring the compliment, I quickly took charge, urging her to follow my lead. She dialed a number, her best friend, and arranged a way to make the body disappear quickly, leaving no trace of our involvement in this.
She sped through the city streets, my mind racing with worry and adrenaline.
I killed a man, and I felt no fucking compassion, no doubt, no remorse.
Was I discovering a new part of me? This cold-blooded killer.
You killed someone again Zanae.
Am I going insane right now?
Brian, seemingly more relaxed, and even excited, tried to calm me. “So, does the famous Zanae Dellé ever get her hands dirty like this often?”
“Not often,” I admitted. “But I guess I don’t like lawyers either.”
She chuckled and increased the speed.
Reaching the penthouse, I thanked Brian for her help, both with the body and the mission, and with a grin, she replied, “Remember, if you ever need a partner in crime, or in cleaning up a mess, you know where to find me. You did what you had to do tonight, Huntress. He wasn’t a good man.”
I ran toward the entrance, Lévi opened the doors for me without even questioning me about anything.
I entered the penthouse, my eyes immediately scanning for Elijah.
Relief. Finally, my first breath after being submerged under worry and concern.
He is fine, he’s fine, he’s fine.
Elijah, seated on the couch, looked up, his eyes widening, blood staining my face and dress.
Panic flashed across his face as he leapt to his feet, his voice strained with so much worry. “ Milaya , what the fuck happened? Are you hurt?”
Without a word, I closed the distance between us in a heartbeat, wrapping my arms around him in a tight, desperate hug. My heart raced, mirroring my dark thoughts. It was all over the place. “You’re okay,” I exhaled against his chest.
Elijah’s hands instinctively went to my neck to feel my pulse. “I’m okay, Zanae. I’m okay.”
I pulled back slightly; my fingers gently traced the outline of his face. “I was so scared for you.”
He’s fine.
That’s the most important thing, the only one that matters.
Green eyes fixated on the blood on my face. “Zanae, you’re covered in fucking blood. What happened, I’m freaking losing it?”
“It’s not mine, Elijah,” I reassured him, “I’m not hurt, but we need to talk.”
“Talk? About what? Zanae, what happened out there? Don’t make me ask this goddamn question again.”
I took a deep breath, my eyes locking onto his. “Someone threatened you, Elijah. Threatened us. I had to take care of it.”
Silence.
The only sound was my breathing.
Elijah absorbed my words, realizing the lengths I would go to protect him. His concern only deepened when he felt the rapid pulsing of my heart beneath his fingertips on my wrist.
He met my eyes, his expression a mix of protectiveness and anger. “ Milaya , you can’t keep doing this.”
In response, overwhelmed with urgency and so much relief, I surged forward, capturing his lips in a kiss that held a depth of emotion I hadn’t experienced before. It was urgent and desperate, a need, as if my world had been suspended until our lips met.
I needed him, now more than I’ve ever needed anything else.
He’s fine.
Elijah, quickly reciprocated, allowing the kiss to live forever. His hard and firm hands found their way to my waist, pulling me closer, anchoring me to him. Everything seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of us, with the sense of this toxic obsession with safety.
When we finally broke the kiss, our eyes locked, and Elijah spoke, his voice a deep, resonant, and threatening murmur. “Tell me who threatened you and I’ll break his neck; you can’t always put yourself in danger. I’m the one protecting you.”
I nodded, “I know, Elijah. But when someone threatens you, I can’t just stand by.”
Taking a deep breath, I spat the story in short lines, trying to analyze his reactions and figure out how he felt.
His eyes bore into mine; his voice deep and laced with restrained anger, “But you lied to me, you kept this from me.”
My eyes met his gaze. “I had to, Elijah. You wouldn’t have let me go if I told you. And I needed to handle it my way.”
“Your fucking ‘way’ is not safe for you; do you understand that?”
I took a step closer, meeting his anger with a determinate gaze. “I’m your associate. I need to be able to act independently when it’s necessary.”
“Independently? Killing a man in a bar is your version of independence?”
“He knew who we were, he … he had his phone and said he wanted to blow the penthouse… and I saw you dead. You would’ve done the same for me, or worse.”
His anger shifted to an understanding, “I know baby. But you’re not just an associate. You’re so much more.”
I took a long breath, my voice softening. “I know. But you have to understand that I’m not helpless. I can’t just stand by when someone threatens what’s mine.”
He pulled me into a tight hug, as if needing to feel my heartbeat and reassure himself. “Don’t ever shut me out.”
I rested my head against his chest. “Okay, but I need you to trust me, even when it gets messy.”
He nodded, still holding me close. “Trust goes both ways, Milaya . Don’t forget that.” His eyes widened as if he just understood something, “Did you just call me yours, Zanae?”
Yes, I did.
I just nodded, not knowing exactly what to add.
He was mine.
Everything in him was mine.
The chaos, the fury, the anger, but also the softness, the pain, everything .
I felt like I could breathe again holding him, he was fine, he wasn’t hurt, nor dead. My heart wasn’t feeling well with him threatened, and this was new and scary.
I killed for him, I killed for Elijah Volkov, and I would do it again without any hesitation.
“I’ve never felt like this before. I felt happy tonight, happy to kill a man, and it terrifies me to feel that if he did something to you, I would do worse than just kill him.”
He watched me, understanding what I felt, because he felt it too, the flows of emotions we forgot deep inside our broken souls.
“My beautiful and deadly Zanae...”
Tears gathered in my eyes, my emotions threatening to drown me in my own darkness.
“When he told me about your location and how he could blow out the house without anyone knowing, my heart stopped, I just saw blood and death marked on his face.”
He approached me slowly, his eyes filled with a tenderness that reached the depths of my psyche. He gently wiped away a tear on my cheek, his touch torturously soft. “I’m here. Death itself couldn’t keep me from coming back to you every day, every time, I promised you.”
Breathe Z, breathe.
I clung to him, trying to find my own self in his gaze. “I don’t know how to deal with this, Elijah. It’s tearing me apart.”
He held me tighter, his head tilted to meet my gaze. “You don’t have to figure it out alone. We’ll face it together, just like everything else. I’m not going anywhere, Zanae.”
Elijah stood there, I stood in front of him, in silence.
I’d do anything for this man, anything.
“My beautiful Zanae. The world can’t handle you.”
Tracing the tattoo on his arm, I didn’t dare look at his eyes, I felt weak, and he was right, the world couldn’t handle me. He closed the distance between us, his gaze never leaving mine. And in a second charged with fascination and frenzy that only we could understand, he murmured, “Survive with me.”
Survive with him .
Our lips met again, chaos and desire colliding brutally. It was a storm that was so loud around us, a tempest of obsession and relief, swirling around us and pulling us into the eye of the fucking hurricane.
I tasted his own darkness on his lips and understood that I had fallen into a love and addiction deeper than the abyss.
My fingers found their way into his hair, gripping onto the dark strands with a desperation that mirrored the one inside me.
His hands, rough and needy, traced the contours of my face, fingers lingering over the blood-streaked skin as if memorizing every detail of it.
Adrenaline and fire flowed in my veins.
It was intoxicating, addicting .
I wanted to feel everything he had to offer, I wanted to feel it all because in my mind, nothing was certain anymore, apart from this man’s heart, and this man’s touch.
Elijah’s words breathed hot and heavy against my lips. “You’re so beautiful, it’s killing me to have you this close.”
I was looking past his eyes, searching for more, and he continued his whispered spell. “You’re not just mine, Zanae. You’re also a part of me.”
Our souls danced, entwined in a ghostly waltz to the rhythm of our madness and heartbeats.
“Touch me,” I exhaled. “Make me feel alive,” I begged.
His hands, stained with the remnants of blood on my face, explored the curves of my body with urgency. His lips trailed along the line of my jaw, kissing, savoring my skin, making me dizzy.
“I won’t trade you for anything else. Even the shadows cling to you and refuse to let go of you.”
Secrets whispered directly into the obscurity of my heart and soul.
This love was as forbidden as intoxicating.
He felt like ecstasy, and I could feel his presence in my bones. “Elijah...” I pleaded, not even sure for what. But he knew exactly what I needed, even better than I did.
He pressed his forehead against mine.
“You’re mine, Zanae, in every fractured piece of your soul,” he affirmed before capturing my mouth again in a burning kiss, devouring my mouth, feasting on it.
My Devil murmured that I belonged to him against my lips, and I knew he meant it with all his fiery heart.
His hands pulled me closer to him, my legs wrapped against his hips where they belonged. I parted my lips allowing him to get his tongue into my mouth while I sucked it and bit his lip after.
“My beautiful chaos,” he admired.
I caressed his neck softly, whispering, “Do you like it?”
“I need it, it’s the blood that pumps in my heart,” he replied, before kissing me even more hungrily.
His touch felt like hellfire, burning brighter than any inferno. He breathed against my lips, his hands pulling me harder against him. “I’m going to punish you for your little lies, Zanae, and I’m going to bury myself so deep inside you that you won’t ever get rid of me, just like you buried yourself in my mind.”
He took me upstairs, in the room, sat me on the edge of the bed, while he kneeled before me.
“You’ll learn the hard way not to piss me off, Little Nightmare . Now open your pretty legs for me.”
His hand brushed my sensitive spot while he whispered all kinds of things that made me so much more eager of him. “You’re always so ready for me, Milaya .”
Pushing the lace of my thong down my legs he slid his fingers up and down my entrance.
He gripped my thigh with one hand and planted a kiss there. “You see Zanae, I’m going to tell you things that I want you to remember.”
He pinched my clit, and I gasped at the sensation. “I want you to remember this lesson, Zanae, write it down in your mind,” he said. “Next time you come home with blood, it better be because I was with you, and we killed someone together.”
A finger slid inside me, and I screamed for more. “First, I want you to never lie to me,” he began, his movement faster, adding more speed as the time went. “Are we clear?”
I nodded and then another finger joined the first, stretching me perfectly as he continued, “Secondly, I want you never to put yourself in danger again.”
Another nod. With each thrust of his fingers his tone grew more serious, more… insistent . “Never again,” he insisted, emphasizing, with a third finger.
My breath grew unsteady.
Whenever I felt ready to give up and release myself, he would slow down until I nodded, then take me faster.
He was punishing me, denying me what I craved the most. Pleasure .
Breathe Z, Breathe .
“Lastly, you’ll never be alone with a man. See I’m a little bit possessive, and you belong to me.”
His fingers curled inside me, and I stopped breathing.
“You can come now.”
I lost it, my body tensed before relaxing entirely, the arms that had been holding me sitting behind my back, collapsed. “Learned my lesson, sir,” I gasped for air.
He didn’t stop; in fact, the last few seconds were even more intense, making me tremble and come all over his fingers.
He sucked them all clean before giving me a kiss on my thigh as if sealing the whole experience. I couldn’t even utter a word; my voice seemed lost to me.
Weak , I was weak for him.
“You still taste like an angel, even if you’re my beautiful demon,” he said as he unbuckled his belt, his gaze still locked on mine.
“Show me how angry you are at me again, Volkov,” I challenged, too aware of his presence.
I grabbed his neck between my arms, pulling him closer. He leaned against my ear and whispered, “You’re going to be so sore after this.”
A low laugh escaped me. “You’re a tyrant, Elijah.”
Without any warning, he turned me around, my face now facing the mattress and buried into the silky green sheets.
His hands grabbed my hips and pushed my ass back in the air. He lifted my dress up to my waist, leaving me completely exposed and ready for him.
“I’m going to make your cheeks as red as the ones on your face, Milaya ,” he promised.
Large hands gripped my ass and spread me open so brutally.
Smack.
“Eli!” My scream muffled against the bed sheets. But I wanted more. The pain felt delicious, pleasant, almost addictive. Tears threatened to fall from the intense stimulation—agonizing, overwhelming, blissful .
He spanked me once again, causing me to release a sucked small breath.
“Such a perfect skin to mark and own.”
He seemed to enjoy the sound of his hand on my skin because he did it a second time, even harder.
“It hurts,” I confessed, between two sobs, head empty, loving the pain coming from this.
Long fingers wove through my hair from behind, gripping and pulling it back forcefully. My scalp stung from the intensity of the pull as he leaned in.
“But you like it, don’t you?” He murmured against my exposed neck.
“I do,” I admitted.
I loved the pain he inflicted on me.
Lust and torment felt like ecstasy on my skin.
His lips traced my ear, kissing my jaw, my neck, and even my shoulder, “You’ve been such a bad girl tonight, Zanae. I can’t wait to be inside you and ruin you,” he vowed.
I heard the zip of his pants, and soon he was on his knees, his cock out, letting out a low breath at the first contact while sliding it up and down my core.
I sighed in frustration, blood stains and tears running down my cheeks. I knew I looked like a mess but I didn’t care.
I was dying from his touch.
And I wanted more. More pain, less control.
“Just fuck me already.”
He grabbed my neck and lifted me up, my back pressed against his chest. Warmth , so much warmth.
Tightening his grip around my throat, he leaned in beside my cheek. “Say please, Zanae,” he commanded, planting a kiss on my neck.
I could feel his grin against my skin. But I just bit his finger and turned my head to meet his gaze, his eyes ablaze. “I don’t beg, Elijah. Do it, or I’m doing it myself.”
He chuckled and gave me another spank. “Such a filthy pretty mouth.”
I let out a loud gasp as he thrusted into me, sliding only his tip.
“Fuck, Zanae. You’re so perfect for me.”
He then pushed himself deeper, in one powerful thrust, filling me perfectly, stretching me enough that the line between pain and pleasure blurred.
“Oh… fuck, fuck, fuck,” I moaned, lost in him.
His strokes were animalistic, making it hard to breathe. “You’re taking me so well, Milaya , so fucking well.”
It was him and I. Skin to skin. Heart to heart.
My head fell back on his chest, heavy, lost in him, his scent, his skin, his existence . “It feels... I... Eli... it feels so good.”
“Feel every inch of me. Your little cunt is in my hands now, and I know exactly what you need.”
He continued, adding speed with each thrust, more brutally, never stopping even as I felt like I was going to die from how addicting he felt. “And you need to be owned, to be marked and bruised.”
God, he felt sinfully divine.
“You need to have all your insolence fucked out of you,” he added, thrusting deeper, making my tits bounce so hard it bordered on painful. “Keep that reckless mind focused on thoughts of me inside you, so you can stop putting yourself in danger.”
Every thrust was torturously good.
He was right, I was aching for his profane touch, craving every twisted pleasure he gave me; because no one else could make me feel like this.
“It hurts so good,” my voice whispered, between small breaths. Silent tears of pleasure still streamed down my face.
He exhaled a long gasp, his hands gripping my hips harder, the hand around my throat tightening. “Let me show you just how dark things can get, Zanae. I’ll use my cock to corrupt you so thoroughly, you’ll never think about lying to me again.”
His words echoed against my skin, devastating every inch of my being. He didn’t slow down, not once.
“Collapse for me,” he ordered.
The stimulation flooded my entire body, he was everywhere, and he just kept thrusting tirelessly. The last one was so brutal that I obeyed his command and came all over him, screaming his name in a long agonizing wheeze. “ Fuck ! Elijah!”
My eyes rolled back, and I clung to his arm as my legs gave out. He continued slowly, kissing my neck, prolonging the addictive sensation.
Just after that, he released himself, still buried deep inside me, keeping his promise. A low, breathless sound escaped him as his arm around my waist pulled me closer.
He kissed my shoulder, breathing heavily. “See, Zanae, your ass is all marked by me now. Seeing my cum running down your thigh makes me want to fuck you all over again.”
“I... I can’t breathe,” I managed to gasp out, still trembling.
The adrenaline from tonight, combined with this intense moment, left me shaken.
“My Angel, did I fuck you too hard? I love the sound of you all breathless,” he murmured, planting a line of kisses on my back, trailing up to my nape.
Sweaty, tired, but still smiling, I replied, knowing he’d hear that smile in my voice even if he couldn’t see it. “Are you saying that you love hurting me, Volkov?”
He brushed his lips softly against mine grinning, before getting up from the bed. “Only when I fuck you, Milaya ,” he said with a smirk. “I’m going to come back in a few minutes. Go take a shower.”
I rose from the bed and made my way to the bathroom. The aftermath of our little moment had left its marks on my body—my cheeks flushed, hickeys all over my shoulders and thighs, my lips swollen from our kisses.
He remained here.
He was a new constant in my life.
The hot water flowed over me, soothing the ache in my body. But I liked it. The feeling of comfort it brought, almost as if Elijah’s touch survived in the steam. I just began appreciating life, discovering new feelings, new sensations.
The worst thing, the most frustrating feeling was that I still couldn’t shake the awareness that the voices still whispered in my mind, haunting every joy, every little step I took to heal.
Even with him, I could still hear them. Elijah was there, but the demons never truly left.
Breathe Z. He’s with you. He’ll always be.
I slipped into one of his shirts, entering the room where he awaited me, a glass filled with ice cubes in hand. He greeted me with a weak and beautiful smile.
“Come here and let me see how sore you are.”
I settled onto the bed, chuckling. “You’re not going to use that on me, are you?” I asked, concerned but more intrigued than anything.
Leaning over me, he kissed me softly. “Yes, I am, Little Nightmare. ”
With an ice cube held between his lips, he parted my legs with his hands. Exposed before him, I felt hot as he placed it on my clit before slipping it just before my entrance. Breathe . The sensation was unlike anything I had experienced before; my back arched involuntarily begging for more. “Elijah, it’s so cold. I think I love it…”
He left the ice cube there and returned to my face, kissing me once more, his mouth both cold and warm against mine. “My marks look beautiful between all these tattoos. Right where they belong,” he murmured, his gaze fixed on mine as his hand moved back down.
With the remaining ice cube in his fingers, he traced the lines of my folds, eliciting a soft gasp from me. My arms found their way around his neck, my eyes closed as I surrendered to the sensation. My mouth hung slightly open, lost in the pleasure.
“I love seeing you speechless, Zanae,” he whispered.
The ice cube melted away, leaving a weird pleasing feeling on my skin. His kiss lingered on my neck as he murmured, “How do you feel?”
“I think I loved it,” I admitted.
He kissed my nose gently. “We have all the time in the world to explore what else you love next, Milaya .”
We laid intertwined on the bed, Elijah’s arms securely wrapped around my waist. My fingers traced the delicate lines of the tattoo on his forearm, my eyes staring back at me.
They no longer felt empty; on his skin, they felt alive, burning .
“I can’t believe you did this,” I said, admiring his work.
He murmured, smiling against my head, “I love looking at your eyes, they talk more than you do.”
I couldn’t stop looking at them; they felt so real, more alive than my own eyes.
They weren’t numb with pain, not as empty as I usually saw them. “You made them feel alive,” I whispered back.
He kissed my neck, “You are alive, Zanae.” His voice sounded tired yet honest. “Try to sleep now. I’ll take care of Nikolai tomorrow.”
I kissed his hand before placing it on my heart and intertwining our fingers. “Thank you, Elijah.”
Feel your heart Z, you are alive .
I am alive.
At least, as long as I’m between his arms.