Chapter 53 – Zanae
53
ZANAE
I have a family.
A family that loves me as much as I love them, who would do anything to make me smile and feel worthy.
I didn’t know what I was missing before giving life another chance.
Life was sad, but life was still beautiful.
That night, we prepared for a small party at Niko’s house. I wanted to see June and Miranda, needed to be surrounded by their laughter and warmth. Luckily, both Benny and Brian were able to join us. I walked into the living room, and the sight of June playing with his toys instantly filled my heart with a feeling I’ll never get tired of.
I envisioned having a baby of my own with Elijah, imagining the love we would shower on them. But I wasn’t ready—not yet.
I was still healing, still consumed by the need for revenge.
I couldn’t afford to think about that future, not just yet.
“Hey, Juny baby,” I grinned, crouching down beside him. “Missed you a lot.”
June’s pretty eyes lit up, and he immediately launched himself into my arms. The little boy had the ability to brighten even the darkest corners of my world. I would do anything for him.
Miranda approached me, a soft smile playing on her lips. “Zee, I missed you. How are you?”
“I’m surviving,” I replied, giving June a gentle squeeze on the cheek. “And tonight, I need a good dose of your company.”
I really was surviving.
Her eyes betrayed a hint of worry. I brushed it off with a reassuring smile.
In the kitchen, Elijah, Ben, and Niko were playing with June.
It was adorable seeing him with June. My little boy loved him a lot; he was such a social kid, so when I saw him run toward Elijah, my heart was full.
They were so different. But maybe it was because Juny was so similar to Niko that Elijah loved him that much.
I never thought picturing this would be so therapeutic.
We settled around the table, enjoying a dinner full of love and understanding. Elijah’s occasional glances at me were both possessive and tender.
I love this man so much.
Niko winked at my friend. “Miranda, you’re glowing tonight. Got a secret lover, perhaps?”
She chuckled, her cheeks tinted with a hint of pink, flushed. “Maybe I do.”
Their eyes met, and for a fleeting moment, the world around them seemed to fade. I exchanged a knowing glance with Elijah, both of us knowing exactly the subtle flirting between these two.
Have I missed something? I know Miranda, and I know Niko too; something was going on. To be continued.
Brian came closer to my ear and whispered, “Are they hooking up?”
I couldn’t help but laugh at this. Because damn, she was right.
I knew it.
“Zee, what’s making you laugh?” Ben asked, a mischievous smile playing on his lips.
“Nothing important, and why are you so far from me? Are you scared of Elijah, Benny?”
“Yes I am. He wanted to punch me last weekend.”
I turned toward Elijah, who was smiling proudly at this. “Did you really try to punch him, Eli?”
He looked back at me, shrugged and affirmed nonchalantly, “I did. He was just pissing me off, staying on my couch with you like a teenage girl, talking to my woman and eating my food.”
Niko burst into laughter, and Brian, with that devilish look in her eyes, took a casual sip of her beer before chiming in, “Agreed, Ben is a bit like a teenage girl on hormones, sometimes. I remember when we were binge-watching Gilmore Girls, after Z was released from the hospital, he was literally picking the best ‘Rory’s boyfriend’.”
“And didn’t he always root for Dean?” I interjected, shooting a pointed look at Brian.
Miranda let out an exasperated sigh.
“We are die-hard members of Team Logan, here.”
“He doesn’t even like Spencer Reid, so it’s not shocking,” Brian remarked, a hint of sarcasm in her tone.
“Who fucking doesn’t love Spencer Reid?” I shook my head, looking at June, who was climbing onto my lap.
“Zee, who’s Spencer?” Juny asked innocently.
I whispered in his ear, “He’s Aunt Zee’s first love before Uncle Elijah.”
My little boy chuckled and pointed at Eli, who was looking at me with a smile, unaware of what I had just said.
“I don’t hate him. I just find him boring,” Ben answered casually.
Niko and Elijah exchanged a perplexed glance before both turning to Ben with raised eyebrows. “Sometimes I feel like disinheriting you,” Niko quipped.
Unfazed, Ben shrugged and took a defiant swig of his beer. “I couldn’t care less what you all think. I work like a dog, saving lives everyday, so let me enjoy my teenage girl shows with my best friend in peace.”
Elijah leaned forward, a playful smirk gracing his lips. “As long as you do it in someone else’s home,” he warned. “With someone else’s woman.”
I loved hearing that. I was his woman.
Later, Elijah approached with a wine glass in hand, and I couldn’t help but admire the way his eyes held mine. He handed me the glass, his fingers brushing against mine, and planted a gentle kiss on my lips.
With a mock pout, June exclaimed, “Uncle Eli, no kissy Zanae!”
“She’s mine,” he replied, before peppered kisses all over my face, clearly enjoying provoking a little kid.
Miranda, Brian, and I found ourselves alone again, with Niko, Ben, and Elijah outside on the balcony.
Miranda couldn’t hold back any longer. “Zee, something’s on your mind. What happened?” she asked, her concern evident.
I hesitated, glancing at Elijah, remembering our week, and everything that happened before. Gathering my courage, I decided to spill the truth about the previous night, about Abla, about ending a chapter that should never have been written in the first place.
But nothing about what I learned regarding Elijah’s past—the trauma and tragedy that forced him to mature too quickly, the nickname, and everything else. It was our secret world; a private sanctuary where we could discuss pain without truly feeling it. Where we could talk about our traumas until they became just memories.
“What now?” Miranda asked, concern etched on her pretty face.
I looked at her and smiled reassuringly, “Now, we wait. When they come back, I’ll end them one by one. We’re still hunting them down with Brian.”
“True, we’ll find them,” Brian assured.
My eyes went naturally to Elijah, who was leaning against the wall outside, his gaze on me as Niko and Ben spoke to him, a little smirk playing on his beautiful face. I couldn’t resist; I gave him a wink.
With him, I felt like a lifetime wouldn’t even be enough.
Miranda, watching us, turned to me with a soft smile. “I love how you look at each other.”
Facing her, I couldn’t help but smile. “Like what, my favorite poet?” I asked playfully, knowing she’d respond with something cute and sweet.
With a wide grin on her lips, she replied, “As if he’s the oxygen, and you’ve been drowning your entire life.”
“Maybe he is.”
“I’m sure he is. June will grow up hating him because he took his favorite person after me.”
Brian got up after kissing my cheek to take a call and said, “She’s right. I didn’t know him before, only his reputation, and seeing him act like you’re the only thing he sees in a room is insane.”
She looked at her phone then at us. “I have to go take this call. Caleb is harassing me.”
“Have fun Bri,” I said.
I looked back at June, who sat on his mother’s lap, and then at this strong, beautiful woman she had become. “You deserve so much love, Miranda. I know I don’t tell you that often, but since Luna died, I never thought I could connect with someone else and find this friendship anywhere else. But you’ve helped me a lot, and you’re my closest friend. I would protect you and June forever. Never forget that.”
She smiled back at me and hugged me before saying, “Don’t make me cry, woman. I love you, too.”
June followed his mother’s lead and jumped off her lap, joining our hug, giggling.
Elijah and I left Niko’s house, bidding goodbye to the little group. As we walked towards the car, I noticed Miranda lingered a bit longer with Niko. However, I had other things on my mind, like the small hands that gripped my thighs tightly—Juny, still teary-eyed because I was leaving.
I leaned down, planting a gentle kiss on his cheek. In a soft whisper, I uttered, “You’re my favorite little boy in the whole world. I’m coming back soon, baby, I promise.”
A smile broke through his tears, and he sniffled, nodding. I hugged him tightly before turning to Miranda, embracing her too and whispering, “Have a good time with Niko.”
She blushed, and my eyebrows arched in amusement. Niko, catching the moment, hugged me and whispered, “Bye, my Z.”
Elijah and I stepped into the car, and as we hit the road, he cast a curious sidelong glance at me.
“Should I be worried that a little boy might steal my spot as your favorite man?”
“Don’t worry, Hayati . You’re irreplaceable.” Leaning in, I kissed him softly on the cheek. “You’re my favorite man, he’s my favorite boy.”
His eyes crinkled at the corners, and he seriously responded, “Good to know I’m still in the running.”
He turned slightly while still driving, his gaze fixed on me, and he captured my lips with his in a lingering kiss. My laughter bubbled against his mouth, and when we finally parted, he wore a satisfied grin. “My woman is beautiful,” he murmured.
His woman. Forever his .
I looked at him, my expression gentler as I said, “Take me to the cemetery, Elijah. There’s someone I want you to meet.”
His gaze shifted to mine, a hint of surprise reflecting in his eyes. Understanding dawned, and without a word, he reached over to take my hand, lifting it to his lips for a tender kiss.
“Anything you want, Milaya ,” he said softly.
The car glided through the night, taking us to the cemetery, where I lost myself and found out about the new Zanae.
He opened the car door for me, extending his hand to help me out. His fingers entwined with mine. He gently grabbed my jaw, his lips meeting mine in a tender kiss.
“Are you sure about this?” he murmured against my lips.
I met his gaze and replied, “I’m sure.”
He allowed himself to be led through the cemetery until we stood before Luna’s grave. I turned my head towards the headstone in front of me, saying, “Luna, meet Elijah Volkov, the love of my life.”
At that moment, I glanced back at Elijah and saw a smile on his face. He turned towards the headstone, wrapped his arm around my waist, pulled me closer, and said, “Pleasure to finally meet you, Luna.”
“I love you.”
He looked at me, caressing my cheek. “I love you more.”
I knelt on the ground near her name and whispered, “The ocean is still filled with water, and the sky is still filled with stars, Luna. I hope you see that too.”
I’ve come to understand that to truly embrace life’s emotions, one must fully experience all of them: sadness and joy, sorrow and hope, loneliness and love, grief and acceptance.
Like stars needed the night to sparkle, I needed life’s lows to fully appreciate its highs.
Serenity comes with a lot of sacrifices and goodbyes.
I knew the battle against The Veil wasn’t over. We had provoked them, and it was only the beginning. But with Elijah, Niko, Miranda, Ben, and Brian by my side, I felt invincible.
Family protects Family.
This is the story of my death. The Zanae who thought that she couldn’t heal, died .
The one I wanted to hug, the little girl who suffered and never had the chance to be a child.
The story of this kid who thought that surviving would never be enough to make her feel .
I wanted her to understand that it was not poison and chaos that ran through her veins, but strength and resilience. And she died to let the new one take place thanks to him.
Elijah Volkov loves me like the Devil loves hell, as if I am his heaven and redemption. And I love him like death loves life, as if he’s the vitality and the breath I need to survive.
Elijah
The world is graced with a fortune that even the gods would envy. Having the chance to witness the gentle caress of the sun upon her face, the moon’s glow illuminating her amber eyes, and the wind playfully twirling her ebony hair is a privilege. It is to behold the overwhelming beauty that is Zanae, a true masterpiece, inside and out.
I stand beside her as she introduces me to her past, to Luna, to the person who kept her alive before so I can continue her work.
While she shares her thoughts with Luna, I observe her closely. There’s a determination in her eyes, a strength that has become a defining part of her mind. She’s not just the woman I love; she’s a woman whom I respect, admire, and fear. She’s my woman.
My mind is consumed by her. Pride swells within me for the human being standing before me, awe fills me at the depth of her love for the friend she lost, and beneath it all, there’s an undercurrent of possessive, consuming love that pumps my heart.
I’d burn down worlds to ensure nothing ever takes her from me.
After the moment with Luna, we find ourselves back in the car. My hand naturally finds its place on her warm thigh, and I press a kiss against her skin. As I begin to drive, I turn to her, my eyes locked on the road, but my words meant for her alone, “You’ll never be alone again, Zanae. I’m with you, always, Milaya .”
She looks at me, her eyes captivating, and smiles. “I know you will.”
My sweet Little Nightmare had a lot of work to do on herself to heal, and I promised her that I would fight for her.
A kiss seal that vow on her beautiful and delicate scarred wrist.
“I need you to survive and live . ”
She smiles at me, and my heart turns into that altar dedicated to her existence, a place where my eyes open day and night to see her and witness life on her face.
“For you, I’ll fight.”
She’ll live for me, she’ll survive. And I’ll be here to marry that woman, have children with her and before all of that, give her that revenge she needs and demands.
For the first time in my life, I feel happy, loved, worthy—everything I lost and more.
Love has never been an easy concept to explain. But if it means feeling one’s heart beat in unison with your person, surviving to seize every moment of that person’s life—the smiles, the tears, the laughs, the pains, and the joys—of being willing to do anything to ensure that person’s safety at the expense of oneself, then love is not strong enough to describe what I feel for this woman.
She’s mine, the very essence of my existence.
We found adoration in vengeance and pain.
Light and warmth in cold darkness.
I found in my nemesis a love so strong that my heart synchronized with hers.
Nemesync .
Fuck, it actually sounds perfect to describe us, now that I think about it.
10 .
Amber eyes.
She’s my heart, my unwavering devotion, my beautiful Little Nightmare , my Nemesync .