Chapter 46
Milo, understandably, was completely out of it by the time I pulled out of him. He’d fallen asleep beneath me, and I kissed his tear-stained cheeks one last time before getting out of bed to get a warm washcloth so I could clean him up.
I rolled his unconscious body over and spread his cheeks so I could make sure I hadn’t unintentionally hurt him. Knowing I probably fucked him harder than I should have for his first time, I was a little worried I’d been too rough.
My anxiety eased, however, when it was clear the only thing leaking out of him was my own cum. He was swollen and red, but there was no tearing, and I smiled.
Gently, I leaned forward and licked up his crease, groaning at the feeling of his hot, wet hole beneath my tongue.
Fuck.
He was everything.
He’d taken everything I’d given him so well.
It was scary how hard I was falling for him. Scary for so many reasons I didn’t want to examine too closely right now. Not while he needed proper aftercare.
Pulling back, I gently wiped him clean, being careful not to press too hard and irritate his already abused hole.
Then I gently rolled him onto his back and wiped up the copious amounts of cum that was already drying on his chest.
His lashes fluttered beneath his glasses, which had miraculously stayed on somehow despite the rough sex I’d just put him through, and I kissed his warm cheeks to make sure he knew I was here as he slowly came too.
“Jay?” he whispered, sounding a little confused.
“Yeah, baby. I’m right here. You did so well for me. I’m so proud of you,” I told him again, and he blinked up at me, giving me a lazy, fucked out smile.
“That was… wowzers. Is sex always like that?” he asked, and I chuckled, discarding the soiled rag on the floor before lying down next to him and tugging him against my chest.
“Sex with me will always be like that. I can’t speak for any sex you might have with anyone else.”
My heart froze over at the thought of Milo being with anyone else, and I closed my eyes, swallowing back the bile that rose in my throat at the thought.
Mine.
Milo frowned up at me, reaching up to trace a finger over my lips, looking adorably concerned.
“But… I don’t… Jay, are you going to have sex with other people?” he asked me, his lower lip trembling slightly, as if the idea broke his heart as much as it broke mine.
I met his gaze and brushed his damp hair out of his face.
“I don’t want to. I just want to be with you. But I don’t want you to feel trapped or like you can only be with me. I’m your boss. You have to be the one to make the decision for us to be exclusive; otherwise, it’s an abuse of power on my end.”
“I-I want that. I want to be exclusive,” he whispered, his cheeks turning that adorable rosy pink that made me swoon so fucking hard. He began to shake. “P-please? I don’t—I’ve never done this with anyone, you can’t… I can’t just be… casual.”
He looked like he was about to cry, and I cursed.
Way to go, Jay.
I was supposed to be taking care of him, not making him feel insecure about what I wanted this to be.
“Hey, hey… don’t cry, baby.” I cupped his face and kissed his soft lips. “I want nothing more than to be exclusive with you. I just needed to make sure you felt the same way. We’ll make it official right now, okay? Neither of us will be with anyone else until you decide otherwise.”
“But… What if you decide otherwise?” he whispered, his voice quivering and his eyes sad.
“I won’t, baby. I can tell you that right now.”
“Promise?”
I smiled and kissed him again. “Yes, Milo. I promise. I’m not going anywhere, baby.”
He relaxed and let out a small, relieved sigh, wiggling deeper into my chest.
“Good.”
I kissed the top of his head and stroked his hair softly.
“How are you feeling? I got a little carried away… That was intense, especially for your first time. Are you in any pain at all? Is there anything I can get you to make you feel more comfortable? You should really drink some water. You lost a lot of fluids.”
He laughed softly and nodded.
“Yeah, I’m thirsty and… um… I’m sore, back there. And my balls hurt. They ache.”
I curled a finger under his chin and tilted his face up so I could see the blush I knew would be blooming on his cheeks.
“I bet they do. We completely emptied them. They’re probably working overtime to replenish.” I gave him a devious grin that just made him blush harder.
“Will you be okay for a minute if I get up to get you some water and Neuroprofin? I promise I’ll come right back and we can cuddle while you nap.”
“Yeah, ‘kay.” He smiled at me. “That would be nice. Thank you.”
“Of course, baby. Don’t move, I’ll be right back.” I dropped a kiss on his forehead and swung my legs out of the bed.
On my way out, I pulled an old t-shirt and a soft pair of grey sweats out of my wardrobe, handing them to Milo.
“Here, put these on. Get comfy,” I ordered softly as I tugged on a pair of sweats myself.
He nodded, reaching for the clothes I’d given him as I headed out to the kitchen to get him some water and pain meds.
“Mr. Reynolds, I have several messages from Mr. Stevens that require a response. Would you like me to relay them now? Or would you prefer to consult your Nexus?” NOVA chimed as I dug through a cabinet for a bottle of Neuroprofin.
Ugh.
It was fucking Saturday. What did they want?
“Stevens Junior or Senior?” I asked, unable to keep the frustration out of my tone.
“Junior, sir. He seems…irritated.”
“Fuck. Okay, I’ll check my Nexus. Thanks, NOVA,” I replied, hunting down my phone. I’d left it in the living room, and when I unlocked it, I cringed.
I had six missed calls and more texts than I ever wanted to see from Seb on a Saturday.
Opening my inbox, I frowned.
Seb:
Answer your goddamn phone, Jay.
Seb:
Luke wants us to meet him at Comms. He says we need to be briefed for a meeting with the director of fucking DARPA.
Seb:
Jay, what the actual FUCK! This is so serious. You need to fucking call me.
My eyes widened, and I felt my mouth part in shock.
I’d been dreading something like this happening. I knew Luke was going to pull some shit like this, but it didn’t make it any easier to swallow.
DARPA stood for Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency. It was a U.S. government agency under the Department of Defense. Its mission was to develop emerging technologies for military use.
The last thing I wanted was my technology being used for fucking war, but I had known for a while that this was the direction Luke wanted us to go, despite the fact that he hadn’t said it in so many words.
War was lucrative, and if Luke could find a buyer who saw the weaponized potential of memory technology, we would never need to worry about investor acquisition again.
My fingers shook with terror and fury as I hit Sebastian’s contact to call him back.
He answered on the first ring.
“Jay, thank fucking god, where have you been?” Seb’s voice was panicked, and I winced.
“It’s Saturday. I wasn’t checking my phone. We’re off the clock,” I explained, keeping my tone calm despite the way my heart was hammering in my chest.
“I was just about to come to your cube to get you. Luke wants to meet now. He’s being…
Well, you know how he gets.” The quiver in Sebastian’s voice made me feel sick.
I’d never seen Luke actually hit him, but I knew he was emotionally abusive.
It wouldn’t surprise me if there was physical abuse as well.
My heart pinched with concern for Sebastian.
As complicated as our relationship was, he was like a brother to me.
I fucking hated the way Luke treated him.
I glanced back at my room, where a fucked out Milo was waiting for me to come back for cuddles, and I ran my hand down my face in frustration.
He needed aftercare. I couldn’t leave him right now, no matter how much this meeting was stressing Sebastian the fuck out. I couldn’t do that to Milo.
“I… can’t meet right now. I have plans.”
“Cancel them! Jay, it’s fucking DARPA, if we don’t do something to stop this—”
“I know!” I snarled, growing increasingly frustrated. “I fucking know, okay? But I really can’t right now… Can you just cover for me? Please? I promise I’ll make it up to you.”
The line went quiet for so long, I checked my phone to make sure the call hadn’t dropped.
“This is about Milo, isn’t it?” Sebastian finally said, his tone dark and edged with something dangerous.
“No. It’s not. I told you that was just a one-time thing. It was a drunken mistake.” I flinched, the lie feeling sour on my tongue.
“It better fucking be, Jay. You can’t bring an outsider into this. He’s going to get hurt.”
“I’m not,” I lied, feeling like I was going to be sick.
There was another long pause, then finally Sebastian sighed.
“Fine. I’ll cover for you. But you need to meet me in my office early as fuck on Monday. We need to talk before the meeting and come up with a plan.”
“Yes. Okay, deal. Fuck—Thank you, Seb. I owe you. For real.”
“Yeah. You fucking do.”
“I know.”
“Break things off with him.”
“What? I told you nothing is—”
“Don’t fucking lie to me, Jay. Just end it. Before you both get hurt.”
I swallowed, more protests already gathering on my lips, but the line went dead, and I was left standing in my kitchen, staring at my locked phone screen, feeling like death would be easier than living this fucked up mess that was my life.