Chapter 42
Chapter Forty-Two
Sleep doesn’t help.
I wake up with the same feeling I fell asleep with—a hollow ache, like something has been misplaced inside me. I try to ignore it, but I’m afraid of what could be happening to me.
Lana keeps asking why I’m always near the window. I keep pretending I’m just watching the street. That I’m only curious about the cold. But every time the mailman walks by, my heart stumbles.
It’s embarrassing how hope can feel like humiliation. We haven’t heard from him. Thomas’s Mom doesn’t speak to us, so we don’t know what’s happening. For all I know, he might be okay but just doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. Maybe he doesn’t miss me.
I wish I could stop waiting for something I can’t explain to anyone.
Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe nothing is wrong.
But the silence is killing me. I thought he loved me.