Chapter Nineteen
Olivia
I took a deep breath as I settled Kaylee in the chair opposite mine at my desk.
This is going to be a disaster and Jace is going to be super pissed.
Mom had picked Kaylee up from school for me today so I’d have time to talk to Kayden, but when she got back to her house Carl had felt dizzy and fainted.
Mom had called me twenty minutes ago to apologize for dropping Kaylee off at the office, but she needed to take Carl to the emergency room.
This wasn’t Carl’s first health episode.
About a month ago, he’d gone to the doctors with shortness of breath but the incident hadn’t reoccurred and they’d told him he was fine after a few minor tests.
Mom was worried about him because his father had died of a heart attack in his sixties and when she explained the situation to me, I hadn’t even hesitated to agree to her request to drop Kaylee off.
But a few minutes later, standing in the lobby of Acker Real Estate, waiting for Kaylee, I realized talking to Kayden was going to be a lot harder than originally planned.
It’ll be fine. Jace will watch her while I talk to Kayden. I need to do this before I lose my nerve.
This is not going to be fine.
Should I hide her? Maybe he just won’t notice her. Lots of people ignore kids, right?
Yeah, that would bode well for his future as her father.
Jace’s office door opened ten minutes late.
Kayden stepped out first, grinning, and for a moment, I was struck by how gorgeous he was.
He was sexy in such an underrated way, and I remembered how strong he’d been and the way he’d held me against the wall as he’d slammed into me.
I was nearly swept away as I thought about our night together. Not the time, Olivia.
Jace stepped out from behind him, his own good looks further captivating me until I saw his hand graze Kayden’s lower back. Before I could think too much about what I thought I’d seen, Kaylee pulled my attention to her when she jumped out of her chair.
She ran for Jace, yelling his name as he bent down to catch her. She jumped into his arms and he lifted her up, smiling at her. “What are you doing here, Peanut?” Jace’s eyes found mine and the blatant panic I saw on his face was enough to send my pulse racing.
Yep, disaster. We are about to have a disaster on our hands and he knows it too.
Kayden smiled fondly at them and stopped in front of my desk. “Can I see him again in a week please? Ninety minutes would be better than an hour,” he said with a little smirk in Jace’s direction.
Jace looked pale, like the sleepless nights of the last week had drained him to the point that this moment was going to be the end of him. He returned Kayden’s flirty smirk, looked at me with wide eyes again, and then focused on Kaylee who was smiling at him and playing with his tie.
“Your tie is wrinkled,” Kaylee said.
Kayden chuckled as I offered him an afternoon appointment next Tuesday. He checked his calendar on his phone and I looked up at Jace and Kaylee.
“Jace, can you take me to the father-daughter dance at school?” she asked.
My eyes widened in a shocked expression that matched Jace’s as he looked at me and then pointedly at Kayden.
“I’d be honored to take you to a dance, Kaylee,” Jace said.
“That time works,” Kayden said, smiling at them again.
He watched Jace and Kaylee, who were chatting away about the pink dress she wanted to wear, while I added the appointment to Jace’s calendar.
Kaylee wiggled her way out of Jace’s arms and he set her down. She came running back over to me, and my vision tunneled to the fear in Jace’s normally laidback green eyes.
Kaylee climbed into the chair in front of Kayden and looked up at him. “Hi,” she said with a bright smile.
I swallowed a lump in my throat. Please don’t recognize your smile. People don’t know their own smiles that well, right?
Kayden smiled back at her and said hi, but his eyes roamed over her slowly and I could see him processing several data points and piecing them all together.
Oh shit. I couldn’t have gotten knocked up by an idiot?
There’s no way Mr. Fancy Brain isn’t going to figure this out.
Pretty sure it’ll take him less than two seconds to do the math on this one.
His face quickly snapped to look at Jace before settling on me with a quizzical expression. He looked down at Kaylee and held out his hand for her. “I’m Kayden. What’s your name?”
“Kaylee.” She beamed at him.
Kayden slowly lifted his face to mine, and when he locked eyes with me it felt like an entire conversation was passing between us in a single second.
Is she mine?
Do you want her to be yours?
But is she mine?
Of course she’s yours, you just did the math.
I saw the wheels turning in his mind and my heart thumped in my throat.
“What was it that you wanted to talk to me about?” he asked, his voice strained.
“Maybe we should take that walk,” I said.
“Hey, Kaylee,” Jace interrupted. “Come check out the new swivel chair in my office and I’ll set up Paw Patrol on my computer while your mom finishes up out here.”
“Yay!” Kaylee yelled, jumping out of my chair and running into Jace’s office.
“Olivia, who is Kaylee?” Kayden asked softly, jaw tight.
“She’s my daughter.”
“Fuck,” Jace said.
Kayden turned to him as if he just remembered that Jace was there. “And who exactly are you to Kaylee?”
Jace’s face sank and he took a step forward. “Kayd.”
“How old is she?” Kayden asked, looking between us.
“Can we just maybe go somewhere and talk?” I asked, throat constricting.
“Olivia, what the hell is going on? How old is your daughter?” Kayden asked, his voice rising in panic.
“She’s three and a half, Kayden.”
He turned his pale face to Jace as if he sought confirmation from someone in the room who he trusted.
“Please hear her out, Kayd. Please,” Jace begged, looking desperate for Kayden to understand the situation.
What the hell is their deal?
Kayden’s throat bobbed as he swallowed, and he turned back to me as Jace followed Kaylee into his office and shut the door.
“Is she mine?” he asked, reaching up to tug on his thick brown locks. “She looks a lot like me, Olivia. And the timeline—”
“I know. I’m sorry. This is why I wanted to talk to you,” I said, standing up from my desk. “I didn’t want to just spring her on you, but yes, she’s your daughter.”
“How? But—” he stammered. He turned toward the closed door and back to me. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I sighed. “How was I supposed to find you?”
“Did you even try?” he asked, clearly becoming flustered.
“No,” I said with conviction. “I did not look for you, Kayden. I was alone and pregnant and I was adjusting to a lot of fucking things. Playing detective to track down a guy who’d made it clear he never wanted to live in Boston again was not at the top of my to-do list.”
He took a deep breath and gripped the strap of his messenger bag, his knuckles white. “Does she know anything about me?”
“Of course not.”
“What do you mean of course not? I’m her father! She should know something about me. I wasn’t just some random guy, Olivia. You knew things about me that I’d never told anyone else. That night meant something to me.”
I took a breath. “It meant something to me too, Kayden, but she’s never asked about her dad. I wouldn’t lie to her if she did, but you just heard her invite Jace to the father-daughter dance. He’s the closet thing she’s ever had to a dad and she’s doing fine.”
“Olivia, I’m her dad. You just said so.”
I tossed my hands in the air, frustrated at how this conversation had gotten away from me.
“This is why I didn’t want to tell you yet.
I have no idea what it looks like to have you in her life and I need to figure that out.
Jace has been begging me for days to tell you and I couldn’t resist him anymore.
He kept looking at me with those sad fucking green eyes like he could see into my soul, telling me that I had to be honest with you now.
But I barely know you. I don’t know how to trust you with her. ”
“Jesus Christ,” he groaned, tipping his head back and closing his eyes. “How can you not be willing to try and trust me after what we shared that night? Or get to know me at least? You can’t just keep my daughter from me. We’ll have to figure something out. I want to know her!”
“We don’t have to figure anything out. I’m her parent. I’m the one who has raised her since she was born.”
“That’s not my fault!” he yelled, his eyes glassy and wide. “Olivia, I would have moved back here the second I found out. I never would have left you on your own to raise our child. I thought about you so often and if I had known—” he cut himself off, seemingly at a loss for words.
If I could have slowed the panic rising in my chest, I might have been able to say something to calm his fear.
It was a huge bomb to drop, and anyone would be reacting like he was.
I was too afraid of how we were going to navigate this, how I was going to tell Kaylee.
I had needed a calm conversation about this and the unexpected-ambush approach clearly wasn’t going to work for either of us.
“Look, can we please just calm down and talk about this? I wasn’t planning for her to be here and I know this is a shock.”
Jace popped his head out of his office and we both turned to look at him. “Kaylee is watching Paw Patrol with headphones but you’re not exactly being quiet out here, so if you don’t want her to know the sordid details yet, you need to lower your voices.”
“How could you not tell me?” Kayden asked in a shaky voice. He shook his head, and I felt the dam breaking in my resolve. Kayden looked heartbroken as he locked eyes with Jace who looked like he was physically ill over this. “I’m falling—”
Oh my God. They mean something to each other.
“Please, don’t blame Jace,” I said in a rush. The last thing I wanted was for Jace to be hurt by this, even if the look passing between the two of them was splintering my heart. “I told him he couldn’t say anything. He’s been advocating for you all week. Really, this is my fault.”
Kayden tipped his head back. “I need to get out of here. I can’t breathe.” He took off for the elevator.
“Kayd, wait,” Jace yelled, giving me one last devastated look as he took off after Kayden.