Chapter 4
Best sleep of his life. Alex groaned into a lazily stretch under the soft body acting as a coverlet over him.
He squeezed tighter in gratitude. Too often he had paid for someone to spend the night with him only to aid in his sleep, and all too often it only resulted in a less than fitful slumber. But this sleep…he’d give his right arm for this kind of sleep.
And then he heard a soft giggle. The softest sound, but it murmured through his entire being.
In an instant, he knew who was in his arms and where he was.
A good part of him—or perhaps the worst part of him—wanted to keep holding her in his arms. The rational parts of him—the parts he was having trouble locating—told him to let her go. She was too much light for him.
But she felt so…nice in his arms. Exactly how he knew it would it feel. Exactly why he kept his distance. Exactly why on the one night that he had had the perfect excuse to hold her in the cold darkness, he refrained. One touch would have unraveled the reign he had over his willpower.
But then the worst possible thing happened.
She rolled to her front so that she was lying atop him with her breasts rubbing gently against his chest. And if that wasn’t bad enough, she leaned even further to whisper in his ear.
And if that wasn’t torture enough, she let another soft giggle pass as she whispered, “Alex, you fell asleep,” into his ear.
It may as well have been whispered into his soul.
And he snapped.
Had to have more. Had to be the reason she laughed. Had to be something more than the grumpy best friend of mutual friends.
So just as he said, “Did I?” his fingers came alive and burrowed into her ribs, tickling her. Her response did not disappoint. For the first time in a long time actually, he felt like he might know what it meant to feel delight.
“Alex,” she pleaded while reaching for his fingers. Having no luck, she clawed up to his biceps. But that laughter was beaming light into his darkness, and he just wanted to be selfish this once.
She tried curling in on herself, but that was not what he wanted. He wanted her squirming underneath him. Writhing. In pleasure. In happiness. Something that could touch his soul. So in one swift motion, he flipped their positions putting him on top.
“Alex…” Her breath sawed in and out of her chest as she locked eyes with him. And he could only see what he wanted to see. Or what he knew he must be conveying to her.
Desire.
Need.
Pure arousal.
“You keep saying my name, Violet,” his voice was hoarse with longing. The kind of pent up longing that had been kept at bay, scratching its way to the surface for two decades. One of his hands cuffed both of hers and locked them above her head. “What do you want?”
Her breaths were coming in short pants, and each inhale mesmerized him with the undulation of her breasts. Breasts he had no business being captivated by.
She just gazed up at him with half lidded eyes, her body completely vulnerable to him. “This doesn’t feel real.”
So he did the first thing that came to mind. When someone thought they were dreaming, they asked to be pinched. He bent down and nipped her bottom lip into his.
That had to be the absolute, most foolish thing he could have done.
Damn.
Now he had tasted her. Even just the smallest of samples. But if he thought he was hungry for her before, he was a starving beggar for her at this point.
Stunned, and rightfully so, she pinned him with a look that he couldn’t quite identify. “Why did you do that?”
It didn’t even take him a second to humble himself and admit his error. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“I didn’t say you shouldn’t have done that. I asked why you did it.” He couldn’t have been more shocked than if gold rained down from the heavens. On a sunny day. Inside.
For the first time in a very long time, Alex had no words.
No explanation for his behavior. How in the world had he ever found himself alone with her.
In her room. In her bed. Practically mauling her.
Needing space, he released her hands and started to roll off of her and—at the very least—get out of this blasted bed.
But she was too quick. Her hands latched around his neck. “Don’t go, Alex.” She used her body weight to keep him in place, though he could easily have removed the legs wrapped around his hips.
“I can’t…stay here, Vi.”
“Talk to me, Alex. Please. I know you’re holding secrets inside of you that are weighing you down. Tormenting you. Please. Let me absorb some of it for you.”
That was sweet. And completely naive. She thought she could alleviate any of his pain with what—
Her lips met his. Clumsily. But with passion. A desire he never would have predicted from her toward him.
Her hands were in the soft hair at the back of his neck, holding him in place. As were the legs still locked around his back.
And he shouldn’t kiss her. Shouldn’t give in. She was too pure. Too good.
But that was the exact moment she pulled away. “Don’t think, Alex. Just act. Or at least, let me.” And he didn’t have time to make a decision because her lips were back on his. Whimpering. Pleading with him to open himself up to her.
She pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, then dragged her lips across his jaw up to his ear where she gave a small kiss and a nibble. “Let me, Alex…” was all she said, and then she was trailing her butterfly kisses back down his jaw where she gave a small nip.
His cock thickened in his breeches. If he didn’t stop this now…
“Tell me about your darkness, Alex. Open up.”
Just when he opened his mouth to say something—he wasn’t even sure what—she slipped her tongue inside.
And fuck. If that wasn’t his undoing.
Her mouth was everywhere, and he wanted more.
He devoured her. Wanted to consume her, from the inside out.
To somehow imbibe her enough to have her lightness outshine his darkness, though he knew that was an impossibility.
But he was just another victim to his own truth.
Ironically. No one wanted the truth. Not even him.