36. Levi
LEVI
I open my eyes to the sound of the fire crackling in the fireplace in front of us. I’m lying on my side; one arm draped over Ava’s waist while the other is underneath her neck. She sleeps softly, breathing even, and her back pressed against my front.
Looking at the old clock on the wall, I can see I’ve only been asleep for an hour. When she stopped crying and fell asleep in my arms, I couldn’t bring myself to give her up, so I just held her while she let me.
I bury my face in the side of her neck and press a soft kiss to her skin, committing the scent of lavender and citrus to memory in case someone tries to steal her away from me.
Ava’s always been the unobtainable. The woman put on this earth to remind me I’ll never be the man she deserves.
It’s never bothered me as much as it does right now.
“Levi?” she breathes, her voice soft and full of sleep. I tighten my arms around her, knowing now that she’s awake, she’ll try to pull away from me.
It seems the only time I can give in to the fantasy that she’s mine is when she’s either crying or asleep.
Surprisingly, though, she doesn’t pull away. Instead, she turns over in my arms to face me, her gaze shining in the moonlight streaming through the windows.
The couch is small and old. Highly uncomfortable, and there’s definitely not enough room for both of us, but I still pull her closer, not quite ready to give her up.
Reaching up, I brush a lock of hair back from her face.
“Hi, little ghost.”
Her lips purse, concern etched into her pretty face while she studies me. Her hand slips up my chest, and I hope to God she can’t feel my heart racing under her fingers.
“I’m sorry for crying all over you,” she says quietly.
I have no idea what to say to make her feel better, so I say the only thing that comes to mind.
“It’s okay.”
She doesn’t seem to like that answer and frowns, a crease forming between her brows.
Her hand cups my cheek, her thumb brushing over the scar on my lip.
I know what she’s thinking. How much she doesn’t know about me. How much I’ve kept hidden from her. It’s for the best, but she doesn’t see that.
Her eyes are half-lidded and hazy when her tongue darts out to lick her lips, and I can’t help but follow the movement with my gaze, desire slipping through my veins.
Without a word, she leans up and presses her lips against mine. I’m still trying to decide whether I should let this continue or be the good guy and stop it.
My hand slides into her hair, angling her head back, and I press my lips fully against hers, drinking her in.
She moans quietly against my mouth, and I know without a doubt, she’s got me by the fucking balls.
She attempts to slip her hand down my chest, going for the button on my jeans, but I catch her wrist, stopping her.
“Ava.”
“Please,” she whispers, trying to press her lips to the hollow below my jaw. A shiver ghosts through me, and I force her back.
“This isn’t what this was about,” I grit, trying to keep my voice gentle.
“Please, Levi,” she whispers, and I watch a tear slip down her cheek. “I just want to forget.”
“Baby girl, you’re playing a dangerous game.”
“I just want to forget,” she whispers, again, tugging her hand away from me.
She slips it down, cupping my cock through my slacks, and I grit my teeth at how fucking good it feels. I’ll never push her to do anything but fuck if I haven’t missed her these last three days.
“Just for a little bit.”
“Ava,” I grit, laying my forehead against hers. Christ, this woman’s going to be the death of me. “I can’t take the pain away.”
“No,” she breathes, stroking my cock in slow, painfully fucking slow movements. “But you’re the only one who can make me forget . . . even if only for a little while.”
And then it occurs to me.
I’d take everything she’s feeling right now, if I could. All the pain, guilt, shame, sadness. Fucking all of it, and it wouldn’t matter to me because she’d be happy.
Fuck, what has she done to me?
“Please,” she exhales against my lips when I catch her hand.
“Shhh . . .” I slip down on the couch, pressing a kiss to her cheek, her neck, the top of her breast peeking out from underneath her dress.
I move lower, climbing down the couch until I’m sliding my hands up the outsides of her thighs.
She’s so soft and warm, all I want to do is slip inside her and forget the world exists, but that isn’t what this is about.
I slip her dress up to bunch around her waist, and the moment my tongue slips through her folds, I let out a groan. Ava’s breath stutters, her body arching off the couch and into my mouth.
I swirl my tongue through her sweetness, nibbling on her clit and drawing those little sounds from her that drive me fucking crazy.
“Levi,” she murmurs, her eyes finding mine.
I break away, slipping a finger inside her and grinning at the way her eyes threaten to roll back.
“What, baby?”
“You’re being so sweet.”
“Am I not allowed to be sweet to my girl?” I rasp, angling that finger up to brush over that sensitive spot inside her.
“Not right now,” I shudder, and I notice the way her hand fists in the material of the couch. “Right now, I want to be your whore.”
Fuck. Me.
I run my tongue over my teeth, slipping my fingers out of her.
“You want to be my whore, baby girl.”
Instantly, her eyes change. From sad and soft, to warm and needy.
“Yes,” she breathes.
“Then sit on my face.”
She freezes, her eyes widening.
“What?”
I fall back against the other side of the couch. “Get up here.” I don’t leave room for any arguments.
Heat floods her gaze, her cheeks darkening in the pale glow of the lamp in the corner of the room.
Carefully, she crawled up my body, and when she gets close enough, I grab her hips and tug her onto my mouth.
She yelps, her hands fisting the shoulder of the couch above my head, and just when she’s about to open her mouth to speak, I silence her by tugging her up by the hips and sucking her clit into my mouth.
“Oh my fucking God,” she gasps, scrambling to find purchase while I feast on her.
I fight a smile on my lips at her dirty words, and swirl my tongue through her wetness, devouring her in the only way I know how.
Her hand winds into my hair, fisting on the dark roots, and she meets the thrust of my tongue. Her breathless little moans fill the cabin, met with my rough breaths as I give her exactly what she needs. What we both need.
The need to claim her, show her she’s mine in every way, as much as I’m hers, burns through me, so hot that I don’t even stop when she’s grinding against my tongue. Her thighs clench around my head, her hand tightens in my hair, and her arousal coats my tongue.
“Levi, I’m going to come,” she whimpers desperately, but I don’t stop. Not until her sweet moans fill the cabin and her legs are shaking with the orgasm that rips through her.
“That’s my girl,” I coax, dragging her back down to the couch cushions.
She’s still shivering when I roll her onto her back and slip between her legs. My lips crash against her, and her tongue dances across her wetness on my mouth.
“Levi,” she breathes against my lips when she slides her hand between us.
“I know, baby,” I murmur, pressing my lips back to hers with a groan when she manages to wrap her fingers around my length.
I barely get my cock out before I’m falling back over her and pushing inside her.
Fuck, it’ll never be enough.
Clenching my teeth, I fill her until there’s nothing left of me to give. Until my balls brush against her ass and she’s whimpering beneath me, her back arching off the couch.
“So beautiful,” I murmur, taking her hands in mine and pressing them against the cushions beside her head.
Leaning down, I press my lips against her racing pulse and start to move, loving the soft moan that slips from her lips.
“Whose pussy is this, Ava?” I ask, my voice breathless in her ear.
“Yours.”
Her body shivers against mine, and I thrust harder, the sound of my balls hitting her ass filling the room.
“Who fucks you?”
“You.”
Who do you belong to?
“Fuck, Ava.”
I release her wrists and grip her hips, tugging her up into my lap and pressing her front to mine.
My hand fists in her hair and holds her there while I piston my hips upward, using my free hand to pull her down on my cock.
I fuck her hard enough that the couch slips across the floor with each stroke, but I don’t care.
“You feel so good,” she breathes, and the sound goes straight to my fucking chest. “Please, Levi .”
“I know, baby,” I murmur in her ear, feeling exactly what she is.
I hold her tightly, watching her eyes screw shut, my hand in her hair pulling her towards me while I nip and suck the flesh of her neck.
Kiss her racing pulse and get so fucking lost in her desperate little pleas and the way she gives herself to me that I couldn’t stop the aching need in my chest, even if I wanted to.
I’ve tried. Fuck, have I tried.
Tugging her face back to mine, her mouth falls open on a desperate little cry while her pussy tightens around me.
“Give them to me,” I order roughly, and capture her lips with my own. My balls draw up tight with the need to fill her. To do something irrational, like make her mine for the rest of our lives. Put a baby in her so she’ll never want to leave. “Come for me, Ava.”
She meets my thrusts, her nails digging into my shoulders while she rides my cock, and when her pussy clamps down on me, I lose it with her.
“ Fuck ,” I grit, peppering her damp skin with kisses and filling her with everything I’ve got until it leaks down her thighs. “Fuck.”
She shivers in my arms, her eyes half-lidded and hazy when I slip out of her.
“Thank you,” she breathes, and just like that, I know what I need to do. She has no idea how deep this runs.
She doesn’t know that possession burns in my chest, thinking of someone coming for her.
How, before her, I’ve never held someone. Never taken care of someone when they were sad or sick.
To her, this thing between us is murky. To me, it’s never been clearer.
I’m in love with her.
—And now I need to tell her the truth.
Fuck.