Chapter 31
Circus
After the day at Leita’s, Rowan somehow becomes even more affectionate. I didn’t know that was possible, but I do know I love it. He doesn’t shy away from me when we go into town, and his entire online presence is photos of the two of us.
The only dark spot hanging over our heads is the fact his parents still haven’t made contact. Assholes.
“Holy shit,” Rowan says, and he angles his phone so I can see the message.
And like I’ve summoned them from thought alone, I read Piper’s message.
Mom and Dad want to meet you at the diner. Can you come? Please?
“Shit is right,” I mutter. “What are you going to do?”
Rowan lets out a long exhale. “I don’t know. I mean, I think I want to go.”
“Really? After how they’ve treated you?”
I watch him chew on his lip for a moment. “If I don’t, I’ll keep wondering. They’re my parents, you know? I want things to be good with them, but I’m also annoyed they didn’t bother to message me themselves.”
“Yeah, that’s low.”
“I don’t know, Circus.” He rubs a hand over his face. “I know what I went through, and aren’t they just dealing with the same thing?”
“Nope.” Fuck that. I’m not letting Rowan compare his struggles with their closed-mindedness. “I think you should go. Not for them, for you. And if they’re assholes, we’ll tell them where to stick it.”
“You’d come with me?”
“Of course.” I’m sort of offended he even needs to ask.
“You have no idea how much that means to me.”
I do though. I know Rowan better than anyone.
“But I think I should do this on my own.”
“Okay.” I’m not going to fight him over spending time with his family. They’re not top of my list. “Why?”
“First, I think it’ll be easier on them if I’m not shoving us in their faces—”
“You want to make it easier on them?”
“Only initially. But also, my sexuality isn’t tied to you. I don’t want them thinking that all it will take for me to be straight is for us to break up. I want to face them, as a gay man, and try to make them understand.”
I lean forward and pinch his chin. “You’re amazing, and I love you.”
“You too.” He smiles and ducks down to kiss my fingers. “I have to do whatever I can to make it right with them.”
I’m nervous the whole time he spends getting ready, feeling out of my skin with worry. I can’t shake the feeling that something is going to go wrong.
His family is important to him, I get that. I also know I’m important to him.
But if they ask him to give me up … I’m still not sold on how that ends.
Rowan leaves me with a kiss, and I do my best not to let my worry show. I’m just going to keep faking confidence for him and hoping everything’s okay.
Until I watch his car pull away and close my door.
My phone starts to ring.
Preston’s name is on the display.
Huh, maybe this is where my bad feeling was coming from, because I’m willing to put money down that he’s going to yell at me for my lack of presence lately.
“I’m alive and happy, thanks for asking,” I say before he has a chance to get started.
To my surprise, he actually manages a laugh. “What a surprise, me too.”
I scrunch up my face as I make my way back into my living area. “That can’t be right. You’re talking to me.”
“Exactly! And why wouldn’t I be happy to talk with my current favorite client?”
“Have you been drinking? You’re drunk, right?”
He laughs again, and again I’m not sure what’s gotten into him. Preston has always been an okay guy—it’s one of the reasons I hired him—but jovial? Nope. It’s not a trait he’s known for.
“I haven’t been drinking yet. But I have a feeling once this conversation is over, we’re both going to have a lot to celebrate.”
That gets my attention. I push off the wall I’m leaning against and transfer my phone to the other ear. “I’m listening.”
“Start packing your bags, Circus. I’m looking at a contract for your first movie role.”
My jaw hits the ground, and I barely pick it up in time to say, “You’ve got to be shitting me.”
“Not at all. There’s an audition clause obviously, but that’s more of a formality. They want you. And they’re paying a lot.”
I shake my head. “You know I don’t give a shit about money. What’s the movie about? Big studio or indie?”
“Big studio. There’s some names being thrown around for your costar too, and the best part for you is that it’s a romance with two male leads.”
“That is amazing.” Excitement is starting to bubble in my gut. “I’m … it sounds perfect.”
“Even better, I told them your character has to be pan, and that needs to be in the script somewhere. They want you so badly, they immediately agreed.”
And even though I’m excited, I’m also savvy enough to know this is unusual. “Why me though?”
“The studio won’t be giving this movie a huge budget, by Hollywood standards, anyway.
But the producers have been told if it does well, they’ll be free to create more queer content.
You have a platform. And you’ve done acting classes, which is more than some of the other influencers they were looking at.
They have money and great writers. What they need is people who can market this thing to death. ”
“I’m so in.” My smile is hurting my face, and I cannot wait to share my news with Rowan. Everything is falling so perfectly into place I can barely believe it.
“Good. Because after this, you won’t be social famous anymore, Circus. You’ll be actual famous.”
Which is everything I’ve ever worked toward. But …
With something like that, my life will change. Just when I’m at a point that I can enjoy myself now.
Still, this isn’t an opportunity I can pass up.
“Filming starts in about two months, which is a good amount of time for you to wind down the pretend love with Rowan. Make it sound like an amicable separation, of course.”
It takes an embarrassingly long time for the words to sink in. “Separate? From Rowan?”
“Of course. That relationship has done what it needed to, and once you’re on set in Greece, we’ll start orchestrating your friendship with your costar.
The producers don’t want to push the dating thing, but they do want people questioning how close you two are, and we don’t need some fake boyfriend getting in the way of that. ”
Break up? Filming in Greece?
“Umm … I don’t want to break up.”
“Well, it’ll be a poor look to seem like you’re cheating on your boyfriend. What’s the problem? He’s got a platform now, and you’re getting everything you’ve worked toward for years.”
Years. And that’s the thing.
Everything with Rowan is great for right now, but I’ve been pushing for this since I started my site. Giving it all up because I have a sliver of happiness, a hint at the family I’ve always wanted, is ridiculous.
All it would take is Rowan to decide he’s done with me, and then I’m left with nothing again. No real boyfriend, no fake boyfriend, no movie contract.
If I don’t take this, I’m not dumb enough to think anything else will come along. This is it.
Preston must take my silence for the stunned variety, rather than the holy-shit-my-whole-life-is-resting-on-this-moment type, because he chuckles.
“I’ll send over the contract and the script. Go celebrate.”
I hang up without saying goodbye.