21. Twenty-One
Twenty-One
Abi
When Cash came back to the horses after his moment with Sylas, he wrapped me in his arms and buried his face in my shoulder. He inhaled, grounding himself before pulling me back to arm’s length. His eyes were red with tears, but he gave me a soft, comforting smile. The comfort I wanted five years ago, I was getting now. He needed this just as much as I did.
The ride back from the cemetery was lighter than the ride there. I could cut the air with a knife on the way there, but back, we talked, we laughed, we smiled. Cash didn’t trail behind us like he did on the ride out; he kept Nova right next to Luna, and we talked about Sylas. We brought up memories of when he first started bull riding and how he would celebrate even though he lasted two seconds on the back of a bull. He was always celebrating, no matter what.
“I would like to think he would want us to celebrate today,” I finally said. “Not mope around thinking about how he’s not here.”
“That’s exactly what he would want us to do,” he answered, his tone uplifting. “I should call Quinn and cancel today.”
“I wish I could. Sadly, the ranch doesn’t stop.”
My time with Sylas was like it always was, with one simple exception. I told him about the ranch, about Kyla and Rhett expecting their first child, how Lachlan was still fighting any sort of happiness that came his way, and about how Cash was back in my life. And how I was confused about it, but ultimately, I wanted to chase those feelings.
“I’ll always love you,” I told him softly, reaching out to run my fingers along his name, “nothing will take the way I feel about you away, but I can't deny this.”
The time spent at the cemetery with him only solidified that more. It felt right having Cash there. As if he should have been there all along. I was still confused—I was still nervous—but I didn’t want to ignore what was growing any longer.
Quinn was at the ranch when we arrived, ready for her training session. Cash dismounted, and I took charge of the horses while Stetson ran back into the house. Cash trailed his fingers down my arm as he walked past, his demeanor changing into work mode.
I watched as Quinn rode, Hook taking each turn with stride, a smile on her face with each round of the barrel. You would have never guessed she fell off her horse the way she was riding now. She lit up the entire arena once Cash called out her time, each ride getting faster and faster. And Cash was shining just as bright.
He clapped and smiled as she zoomed past him, whooping loud enough for her to hear, and once she dismounted without using the block, he ran over and scooped her up in his arms, congratulating her on beating one of her fastest times. I couldn’t help but smile as I watched.
Watched him.
And damn….there were those butterflies again.
I still had so many things I wanted to ask him, but I also just wanted to forget about it and move forward. Twice now he had almost kissed me, and twice now I had almost let him. Having him next to me the day in the stables, his body keeping me grounded at the cemetery, his breathing keeping me calm while Stetson was talking to his dad. I could still feel the pressure of his body next to me.
I just needed to talk to him.
But not today. Today was the day we were celebrating Sylas, not bringing up ghosts of the past.
The past week, I had been spending every spare moment in the stables. Stetson was helping with a few tasks Lachlan had managed to add to his own growing list, and Cash had stuck around. I wasn’t sure if he was hanging around to spend time with me or to help on the ranch more, but I wasn’t complaining about it. I liked having him here. I liked the connection that was growing between us, and I found myself beginning to crave it.
But because of that craving, I hadn’t looked at the books all week. I had to catch up before seeing my dad and brothers. So after grabbing another cup of coffee, I went into my office to try to distract my mind, even if just for a fraction of the day.
An hour later, I was answering emails about another potential boarding and a bull rider interested in seeing the arena for training.
“Ok,” I whispered to myself, pulling up the calendar on my computer. “Boone is here for three more weeks, the Jackson’s horse leave in ten weeks...” I mumbled. “We have three stalls left. That’s good. That’s great.”
“What’s great?”
I looked up from my laptop to see Cash leaning against the door frame, his hands in his pockets and hat perched on his head. He cocked a smile, and my stomach flipped.
“Another horse.”
“You’re gonna have a full house soon.”
“We only have three more stalls, but I’m assuming Hook, Charming and Nova won’t be here for much longer.” I looked up at him through my lashes. “Quinn’s doing great, she’s going to be back on the circuit in no time.”
He nodded, chewing on his bottom lip as he pushed himself off the door frame. “Yeah she’s…” His voice was hesitant, almost as if he didn’t like the news he was about to deliver. “She’s doing great. Her physical therapist says maybe three more weeks.”
“Eight weeks on the dot.”
“Yeah. Not gonna lie, I was hoping for ten.” He flopped into the chair across from me.
“Well,” I swallowed. “You’re welcome to come train here whenever she needs an extra push.”
Cash raised an eyebrow, his eyes boring into me.
You could talk to him now, I thought. Just get it over with. The sooner the better. Just ask him why…
Why he didn’t come back.
Why he’s still not answering your phone calls and texts.
Why he looks like he’s going to kiss you at any moment.
I opened my lips to talk, but Cash broke the silence before I could.
“I’ll probably take you up on that, especially since Stetson told me I can’t leave.”
I widened my eyes. “He didn’t give you a ring or anything did he?”
He chuckled. “A ring? No. But there’s a story there.”
“There is. Ask Rhett.” I sighed, trying to find a way to bring the conversation back—either to the important topic, or something different.
“I will.” He leaned back, his arm slung on the back of chair.
The room grew silent as we looked at each other, the tension growing thicker as I battled in my brain whether or not to talk to him. I had said not today, but he was here, staring at me as if he wanted to say something. As if his mind was running just as fast as mine was. We could get it all out right now, end it and move on. All I had to do was start the conversation.
“Cash—” I began, but he spoke at the same time I did, stopping me from finishing.
“Thank you,” his voice was soft. “For letting me go with you today. I really…really needed that time.”
I gave him a smile. “Thank you for coming, you belonged there,” I responded. “Do you think he would hate that I’m working today? I mean we’d said we’d celebrate.”
“There’s plenty of time for celebrating. He’d understand you have a ranch to run. You said it yourself, the ranch doesn’t stop, but Sylas would probably come in here and pester you.”
“He would. He always made sure to pester me.”
His lip twitched. “How would you celebrate today?”
If I could spend any way celebrating today it would be with Cash, a beer in hand, sharing everything we could remember. We each had so many stories we could bring up, some the other probably didn’t know. I could only imagine what I would get out of Cash. Bring Lachlan into the mix, and it would be a party. The perfect way to remember Sylas.
Sighing, I met his eyes. “With you.”
His eyebrows twitched as a shaky breath left his lips.
“I um…” he began. “I know it’s supposed to be private but—”
“Abi—” Rhett appeared in the doorway behind Cash, pulling his attention from me. “Dad wants to meet with us.”
I sighed and stood, shutting my laptop before scooping it up in my arms. I passed Cash before stepping out of my office. “We’ll talk later?” I asked.
Cash gave me a nod before I left him standing there.
“I knew it!” My mother clapped, basically leaping from her seat. The entire table’s attention went over to her and watched as her hand covered her lips. “I hate to tell you Kyla dear, but you weren’t very secretive.”
“I thought I was being very discreet,” Kyla admitted, touching her stomach with her hand.
She and Rhett had just dropped the news of their pregnancy, and as much as I adored my sister-in-law, she wasn’t as discreet as she thought she was. I smiled and laughed at her, turning to Cash—who’d chosen the seat right next to me for family dinner. He was leaning back in his chair, one elbow resting on the back of my seat. He was so close; I was surrounded by his scent. Leather and amber enveloped me. I even caught myself taking deeper breaths before stopping myself.
“Sweetie,” my mom continued, “you could barely eat a meal without getting sick, and when you stopped showing up for family dinners all together…” She cocked an eyebrow and tilted her head to Kyla, giving her that knowing ‘I had you figured out’ look all moms had.
“The red meat was making me really sick.” Kyla sunk into her chair, leaning into Rhett. He laughed at his wife and kissed her temple as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “I’m only about thirteen weeks along. We just had our first few appointments, and everything looks great, so…it was time to tell everyone. Only Abi knew.”
“And me,” Lachlan muttered. Everyone turned to him. Kyla’s jaw dropped. He stood, taking his plate with him. “What? It was obvious.”
“Does this mean I’m going to have a cousin?” Stetson asked, leaning across the table. “Can I teach him how to ride Marshmallow? I promise I won’t let him fall off when he gets spooked.”
“Who says it’s going to be a boy?” Rhett mimicked Stetson by leaning forward. “Maybe it’ll be a girl?”
“Then I’ll teach her how to ride Marshmallow. My baby cousin needs to know how to ride a horse.”
“And they will.” I yanked on Stetson’s arm, pulling him into my side, giving him a hug. He grumbled and groaned as he tried to get away from me. “I promise as soon as that little baby is big enough, he or she will be on a horse. Maybe even mutton busting?” I looked at my brother.
“You know it.” Rhett nodded as he took a bite of his roll.
“Well,” Wyatt shouted, his voice carrying over the table. “I say this requires a celebration.”
“A celebration?” Kyla repeated. “Isn’t the baby celebration enough?”
“Nope. I say we head to The Steel.”
“Ah,” I lifted my chin to look at my twin. “Because that’s the perfect place for a pregnant woman to go.”
“No, let’s go!” Kyla stood quickly. “I can drink a Dr Pepper. I didn’t drink coffee this morning so…”
“Water.” Rhett grabbed her hand and pulled her back for a kiss. “You can have water.”
She chuckled against his lips before she grabbed her plate. “Abi, join us?”
I looked over at Cash. “Whaddya say? Shall we go celebrate?”
“I’m invited?” Cash asked, raising his brow.
“Of course. Hell, call Quinn.” Rhett answered for me.
“Can I come?” Stetson piped up.
“Nope.” My dad spoke up this time. “How about you and I watch a few rodeos and then head to bed early.”
“You sure dad?” I asked.
“Yes, yes, go.” My dad waved us off.
“But I want to go to The Steel,” Stetson whined.
“Maybe when you’re older, I’ll take you.” Cash grabbed onto Stetsons, shoulder and squeezed.
“Promise?” Stetson smiled, looking up at Cash.
Cash raised an eyebrow. “Promise.”
My heart flipped a tiny bit. Did this promise give good indication he was considering staying? “He’ll hold you to that.” I stood. “I’m going to go get changed. I probably shouldn’t go to the Steel looking like I’ve been spending all my time in a barn. Oh, wait.” I locked eyes with Rhett. “I have been.”
“I’ll go check on the horses so you can change. Wyatt—” Rhett grumbled as he stood.
“I will start the cars.” Wyatt jumped, ready to move. I chuckled as my brother bounded out of the room before meeting Cash’s gaze once more.