29. Twenty-Nine
Twenty-Nine
Abi
Kyla looked like I had just dropped a total bomb on her front porch. Her mouth was open, her eyes were wide, and her hands were frozen in front of her. I chewed on my bottom lip, instantly regretting telling her the story of what happened in Cash’s truck.
We ended the day with a few drinks—non-alcoholic for Kyla, a little alcoholic for me—on the front porch, the chill from winter still lingering in the spring air. It was warm enough that we were fine wearing light jackets, the spirits in our drinks—well at least mine—helping keep us warm.
“Well…” she finally burst. “Did he touch you? Please tell me he touched you.”
“He started to—” I hesitated. “But we didn’t go far…clothes stayed on.”
“Why did you stop?” she urged, her voice an octave higher than normal as she lurched forward on her chair, her eyes nearly bugging out of their sockets.
“Well…I remembered something, and it forced me to put a stop to the moment.”
“What could have been so important that you stopped it?” She slapped her thighs.
I slumped my shoulders and looked at her. “I don’t know, maybe the fact that I started my period yesterday morning.”
“Oh.” Her entire body slumped dramatically. “Yeah, that would kill the mood.”
“Oh, it didn’t kill the mood…we just…toned it down.” I raised my glass to my lips.
“Toned it down?” she parroted.
“We slowed the touching; we slowed the kissing. It was…more intimate, not frantic. Like his body knew exactly what my body wanted. And then…he walked me to the door, kissed me goodnight and left.” I swooned at the thought. The moment his fingers began to find my skin under the dress, finding their way to my underwear, I jerked at the memory of my cycle starting. I hadn’t had to think about it with regard to something like this in the past five years, and I definitely didn’t plan on straddling Cash in his truck. But he was understanding. He helped smooth the fabric of the dress, he kissed the bare skin on my shoulders and helped me climb out of his truck, kissing my temple the entire way to the front porch. “He was a gentleman.” I said softly, replaying the night in my head.
“He seems like he would be.” Kyla smiled. “And…did you talk to Stetson? Having a relationship with a kid doesn’t seem like it would be easy?”
I nodded. “Last night when I tucked him in. I told him I really liked Cash. No more ‘Uncle Cash.’” I air-quoted.
“I don’t think the kid would mind if someone else stuck around. He really likes Cash, too; I think we all do.” She gave me a small side eye, her lips stretching into a smile when she saw my reaction. “Where was he today? I didn’t see him?”
“Mainly out with Lachlan. He’s roped Cash into doing more projects around the ranch.”
He came early in the morning and found me in the stables. After a few kisses, he helped me finish my morning chores before Lachlan carted him off onto the land. He appeared briefly when Quinn showed up for a few rides, giving me more private moments before, yet again, Lachlan stole him away from me again. He kissed my cheek, whispering that he’d see me for dinner, but when he and Lachlan didn’t show up for dinner, I tried not to read too much into it. Sometimes the land took over and you ate the protein bars you had packed. Knowing Lachlan and his never ending to-do list…that’s exactly what happened.
“We have a bull rider signed up to use the arena.” I changed the subject, still feeling the heat in my cheeks. “Oakes Ashford.”
“Rhett told me. He seems like a decent guy. Maybe a bit cocky.”
How can I not be cocky when you’re straddling me.
My cheeks flushed hotter.
I cleared my throat and nodded. “He can be. I’m glad Rhett and Cash showed up, because I wouldn’t have been able to sell the arena on my own. I think his first booking is tomorrow. Cash said he’d come and help.”
“Cash is pretty much done with the arena, right?” Kyla leaned back into her seat, raising her tea to her lips. “Quinn is healed or what not?”
I nodded. “Her first rodeo back is this coming weekend. Cash is heading out on Thursday.”
Kyla stayed silent, rolling her lips as she studied me.
“What?” I asked.
“Is he coming back?”
“I hope so, but I also know he’s set on helping Quinn for the year. Next year, he’s going to take on more clients.”
“And use the arena?”
“I offered it.”
“And Rhett says you’re supposed to sign the new deed tomorrow.”
I froze, having completely blocked that from my task list. Sign deed to Hartwell Hills was so down on my to-do list…even though it should be one of the top things. Even though everyone agreed to the way it was going to be split—it seemed completely asinine to me. I didn’t even know if I wanted thirty percent.
“I’m not going to lie,” Kyla started. “Rhett’s a little upset about how your dad is splitting the ranch.”
I met her gaze. “Why didn’t he say anything when we met with him, then. I mean…I could tell, but he didn’t speak up.”
“He knows how hard you work and ultimately, he’s not done with the rodeo. Having a baby doesn’t change the fact that he wants to compete for a least one more year, maybe two if I can travel with him, but this ranch…he loves it. He doesn’t want just fifteen percent.” Her voice dropped, moving from my moments with Cash to defending what her husband wanted and needed.
“I know I…” I stumbled. “I don’t know if I want to take what’s being offered.”
“So, why aren’t you saying anything?”
“It’s hard when my dad is looking at me for all the answers. I know this ranch inside and out. I may not be on the land every day like Lachlan is, but I know the inner workings. Rhett doesn’t. Lachlan knows them to an extent, but if I stopped handling those books…”
“Maybe someone else could. If you don’t want the majority, what do you want Abi?”
What did I want? I hadn’t thought about what I actually wanted in a long time. The last time I remembered actually starting to pursue something I wanted was Sylas, finally reaching an age where I didn’t think the ‘age gap’ between us would matter. I was an adult, and I went after what I wanted. Him. Asking him out was simple enough. I walked up to him and Lachlan five days after my eighteenth birthday, standing in front of him until he finally locked eyes with me.
He had been working at the ranch for four years prior and I had always had a crush on him. I was too nervous to even talk to him, so I would hide or run when I saw him come up. But I watched him. I watched as he and Lachlan would ride, I watched as he worked on simple tasks, I watched as he stopped to wipe the sweat from his brow, I watched as he learned to ride a bull…I was always looking…but never talking. Until I finally knew the age gap wouldn’t bother him, or at least I knew it didn’t bother me.
I asked him out. As simple as that. Told him I wanted to get to know him and that I thought he was…I believe my exact verbiage was…damn sexy. I remember Lachlan bursting into laughter, but Sylas said yes. Maybe out of pity, but we were rarely apart after that. He started calling me nicknames in Spanish, Mi Alma, Mi Reina …and together—we fell.
He was the last thing I really truly wanted for myself.
I didn’t have that luxury now. I wasn’t able to think about what I wanted.
I had the ranch to worry about. I had Stetson to prioritize. I had my parents’ looming retirement. I had a deed to sign…
I had Cash.
Cash.
I inhaled, opening my lips to speak, “I’m not sure, but I do know one thing I’m starting to want.”
The next morning, after getting Stetson off to school, I walked with a purpose, determined to find and take something I wanted.
Cash was in the stables getting Nova ready for a ride when I found him. I leaned up against the gate and watched him for a moment before clearing my throat, gaining his full attention. He looked up at me, his smile growing the moment he saw me on the opposite side of the gate. He came towards me with the perfect amount of swag, and I just took him in. Once he was close enough, his lips met mine, and he breathed me in.
“Good morning.” I smiled against his lips once he pulled away.
“Good morning,” he repeated in kind, his eyes still closed from the kiss.
“Did you know—” I started right off the bat, his eyes opening to look at me.
“Wait,” he stopped me. “I brought something I want to show you.”
I stepped back as he opened the gate to the stall, his hand gently brushing my arm as he stepped behind me to the tack bench. I didn’t notice the black book there when I came in, but when he picked it up, I had a feeling it was his sketchbook. The drawings he told me about on our date. He approached me, his eyes glued to mine as he handed me the book. Gracefully, I took it from him.
“Is this?” I asked, even though I knew the answer.
“My brand spanking new sketchbook. Bought it a few weeks ago.” He folded his arms and watched me open it to see the first sketch of a profile of a horse.
My jaw dropped. “Nova.”
For being a quick pencil sketch, he was able to capture her perfectly, down the pattern on her nose. Flipping the page, I saw a mountain range, another horse with trees behind them, two horses galloping and then…
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. He told me he drew me and Luna, but what he didn’t tell me was he drew Stetson at Sylas’s grave. It was a sketch—rough pencil lines and shading—but it was clear as day he had spent time on it. Stetson was kneeling, one hand resting against Sylas’ name, his hat upside down on the top of the stone. Not wanting to look away from the drawing, I covered my lips with my fingers, telling myself I would not cry.
“Cash…I…” I muttered, hearing the crackle in my voice as I tried to form the words. “I love this. Can I have it?” I looked up at him, noticing how his eyes were hyper focused on me. With a single nod, he bent down and kissed my forehead.
“It’s yours,” he whispered against my skin, sending shivers down my spine all the way to my toes.
“You are amazing. These are amazing.” I turned back to the horses, nervous to see the sketch of me and Luna, but I went back to the one of Stetson. “I can’t believe…”
“You wanted to tell me something?” he interrupted, reaching up to take the sketch book from me. I let him take it, and he pulled it to his chest.
I swallowed, trying to remember why I had come in here in the first place. “Oh…right…” I blinked before looking up at him. He had his arms folded around the sketchbook, giving me his full attention. “Right before Sylas died, Stetson and I were going to travel with him for the summer. We were going to go to every rodeo, every gathering, every fairground…we were going to go…”
“Everywhere,” he finished. “Yeah, Sylas told me about that. He was excited for it.”
“I was too. I wanted to see him shine. Before Stetson was born, I would travel with him but, not to the extent we were planning.” I searched his eyes. “I was really looking forward to the summer. Stetson’s first time seeing big rodeos, bigger names. It would have been amazing.”
Cash grinned at me, sincerity flowing through his expression.
“But then he died.” I said, matter of factly. I couldn’t keep that part out, that day changed my entire life. “And I couldn’t go to rodeos like that anymore. I could watch them, and go to smaller ones like we have here, or the one we went to the other night…but I never watched the bulls. I would always think of that time we didn’t have.”
“Well then, we have to get you back to more rodeos. You love them. I know you do.”
“Well…that’s why I’m here.”
He chuckled. “Okay.”
“You’re leaving on Thursday, getting Quinn back in the circuit?”
He nodded.
“Let me come with you.”
“To rodeos? Even though I’m not riding?”
I nodded. “Just to be with you, travel, see the things I wanted to see with Sylas. But instead…see them with you. I know it’s not far from here. Maybe just for the weekend? I can come and we can spend some time together. I can be the support groupie for Quinn.”
“Groupie?” He raised a brow and gave me a smirk.
“Well, she doesn’t want buckle bunnies hyping her up so…”
He laughed, and his hands found my belt loop, pulling me close as I spoke. “I think a groupie will be better, don’t you think?”
The soft chuckle still lingering in the air, Cash spoke. “I’d love to have you on the road with me Abs, but…” He lowered his chin, his perfect straight hair line coming into my view before he raised his gaze to me again. His tawny skin had a tint of blush to his cheeks, and his dark eyes moved as he searched for the words to say. “I don’t want to replace a moment with Sylas…”
“You’re not.” I slid my arms around his waist and pulled him to me, his arms opening up for me. I loved the way his body felt against mine. “Last night, Kyla asked me what I wanted, and I could only think of one thing. Time with you.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You’re serious?”
“Absolutely. I don’t get to think of things I want…but I know I want this.” I tugged him closer. “I just need to make sure to handle one thing…well two…”
“Stetson?”
“I’m going to ask Rhett and Kyla if they can watch him for the weekend. Quinn only has a few rides, right? We’ll be home…”
“Tuesday.”
“I’m sure Stetson would love to be with Kyla for four days straight.”
“The other night, he complained about you leaving for a few hours.” He reminded me.
“Well, to be fair, that was because he was going to be with Wyatt. Wyatt’s fun for horse lessons, but his idea of babysitting is scrolling on his phone while Stetson watches a movie. If he were with Kyla, he would have jumped on that and shoved us out the door. You asked Rhett about the ring right?”
He raised an eyebrow in confusion. I let out a small laugh, taking it he didn’t ask Rhett about Stetson’s little proposal.
“Anyway, that’s beside the point. I want time with you,” I reiterated. “Let me come with you.”
Using his thumb, he lifted my chin to him, giving me a whisper of a kiss, but it was enough to make me melt. His arm tightened around my waist.
He let out a soft chuckle. “I just had to save you from melting, again.”
I relaxed into him, simply not caring what his answer was. I was content in his arms like this all day.
“Come with me. I would love to have you there for every moment.”
“Every single moment?” I asked.
He nodded. “Every one.”
I hummed and gave him a soft smile, but then my mind went back to the sketchbook that was now resting on my back. I twisted my arm and miraculously grabbed a hold of it, slipping it from his hands.
“Hey…” he protested.
“You’ll get it back.” I gave him a sly smile, stepping away from him and clutching the book to my own chest. “Maybe.”
Still a little melty after my brief yet perfect moment with Cash, I floated into my dad’s office, giving one soft knock before I came into the room.
“Abi. Hi, sweetheart.”
“Hi, Dad.” I took a few steps into the office and stopped right before his desk. I shoved my hands in my jean pockets, my thumbs tapping on my belt. “I um…” I stammered. “I have a favor.”
“Sure.”
“We were going to sign the deed today…right?”
He smiled. “I have it right here.” He raised the stack of papers held together by a clip, and his smile grew. “I just need to call our lawyer, and give Lachlan and your brothers a call—”
“Can we possibly…wait to sign it for another week or two? I know you and mom want to head out but there’s no rush…right?”
“Well, not technically. We just want to make sure all our ducks are in a row before we officially retire.” He dropped the stack of papers and leaned against his chair, his eyes narrowing at me. Dad knew me. He knew me well. He was trying to read my mind, and his gears were turning.
“I just…” I took a deep breath. “Cash invited me to go to a few rodeos with him and Quinn and well…he makes me feel…” Lowering my gaze away from my dad, I exhaled. “I…I want to enjoy this time, so…”
My dad gave a soft smile, understanding showing in his eyes. “We can push it until you get back. How does that sound?”
I smiled. “Thanks, Dad.”
“How is Cash?” He asked, folding his arms over his chest.
“He’s good…great actually. I think he’s going to stay on as a permanent trainer here, once he brings on more clients of course.”
He hummed. “That's just fine, I actually like having the guy here.”
I tightened my lips and gave him a curt nod. “I like having him around. He was always a breath of fresh air. It’s good to have him back.”
“I really…really like having him here.”