Chapter 10
I can still feel Marcus’s touch as I pace the guest room. My skin tingles in all the places our skin brushed, and my body is buzzing with pent-up desire for a man I shouldn’t feel anything for.
He almost kissed me. I almost kissed him. And what’s worse, part of me regrets looking away. It was for nothing, anyway. I texted Nate earlier in the day, telling him I hoped he was having fun. It took him all day to respond, and all he could muster was a fucking thumbs-up emoji?
Dick.
I slip out of my dress and let my hair down. Nate hasn’t made me feel this way in a long, long time. All Marcus had to do was look at me from across the room, and my heart rate picked up. I’m still not sure how we both ended up going our separate ways.
After I finish getting ready for bed, I realize I’m still too wound up. There’s no way I’m going to fall asleep any time soon. It’s too late to try to get some work done, but I need something to occupy my thoughts until my body gets the memo.
I bite my lip, thinking, before it hits me. Marcus has all those books in the library downstairs. I could grab one and read until I get tired. Might take me all night, but it’s better than sitting here with my thoughts.
I’m only in a T-shirt and panties, and I contemplate throwing on a pair of shorts for all of a split second before deciding against it. Marcus is already in bed, so why bother?
Not wanting to disturb him, I open my door quietly and make my way down the hallway. But to my surprise, there’s a light on in his bedroom, and his door isn’t all the way closed.
As I’m about to walk past, I keep my eyes trained ahead. However much I want to peek inside, I don’t want to violate his privacy. But then I hear a deep moan from inside, and I freeze.
“Liliana. Fuck, little star.”
Marcus’s voice—the tightness, the breathlessness—sends a wave of heat through my body. There’s no mistaking how it sounds, and there’s no way I can pretend I didn’t hear him say my name.
Another moan sounds from behind the door, and against my better judgment, I peer through the cracked door. He’s sitting on the edge of his bed, completely naked, with his cock in his hand. His balls are tight, and his head is thrown back in ecstasy.
Wanting a better view, I place my hand on the door and push gently. Any more than an inch and he’ll notice, and if that happens, I’m not sure what we’ll do. But just as the crack widens enough that I can see all of him at once, the hinges creak.
Marcus’s head snaps toward the door, and his eyes lock with mine. I almost run back to my room on instinct, but something keeps my feet rooted to the floor. He’s not holding me in place, yet I’m utterly trapped in his gaze.
“Liliana.” He’s looking at me like he knows he should stop, but his hand only moves faster. He drinks me in—my bare legs, pink T-shirt, and hard nipples poking through the thin fabric.
I gulp. “I should—”
“Come here,” he says, and that desperate, hazy look in his eyes almost has me obeying without thought.
But I shake my head. “I can’t hurt him the way he hurt me, Marcus.”
“You don’t have to do a single thing, little star. Just come here.”
Something about the way he says that nickname tugs at my heart. Even though I know this is crossing a line—that this is something I won’t be able to take back—I make my way across the room to him.
“Get on your knees,” he says hoarsely as he stands.
Watching him, I slowly lower myself until I’m kneeling on the carpet. My gaze drops from his eyes to his hand, which is stroking his cock right in front of my face.
“Put your hands behind your back.”
After hesitating for a second, I do so.
“See?” he whispers. “Not doing anything wrong, are you?”
I nod, unsure of what to say—unsure of my ability to say anything.
“I’m going to come on your face, Liliana. Shake your head if you don’t want me to.”
My heart is beating out of my chest, and my eyes are still glued to his dick. A bead of precum has leaked from the tip, and I want nothing more than to lick it, but I don’t.
I don’t shake my head, either.
The groan that sounds from the back of Marcus’s throat is low and guttural, and hot liquid spurts onto my cheek a split second later. I close my eyes on instinct even though I want to see his expression. But this way, not being able to see, I can focus on his heavy breathing and the way he murmurs my name once he’s finished.
It’s so much hotter than I ever thought it’d be.
When his fingers brush down my jawbone, I hesitantly open my eyes. He’s staring down at me, and the reverence in his gaze sends a shockwave of lust through me. It’s a hundred times stronger than what I felt when we said goodnight, and it would’ve toppled me if I wasn’t already sitting.
Marcus’s cum drips down my face, and he swipes his thumb through some of it before it falls into my lap. His chest is heaving, and his eyes are lidded, but he doesn’t look sated even though he just came. No, he looks… hungry. Ravenous, even.
“When I saw you in that dress earlier, I didn’t think you could look any more beautiful. But I think I much prefer you like this.” His gaze dips to my bare thighs. “Goddammit, Liliana.”
I feel stupid not being able to say anything, but my mind hasn’t caught up with what my body just did. Marcus says something and then disappears from my line of sight, and all I do is blink.
I just cheated on Nate. I just cheated on my boyfriend of five years after begging him to fix things.
Something warm and wet brushes across my face, and I realize Marcus is kneeling in front of me. He swipes the washcloth over my cheeks, cleaning his cum off my skin.
His cum. My skin.
Oh my god.
Oh god, I want him to do it again.
No, no, no.
Nausea spreads through my stomach. I want Marcus. I’ve wanted him for years, although not as badly as I have since this trip started. Up until now, I had plausible deniability to hide behind, but after what we just did, that’s been ripped to shreds.
“Little star, I need you to tell me if you’re okay.”
“W… what?”
“I’ve asked you three times now. Are you all right?”
“I’m…” I blink, realizing my eyes have filled with tears of guilt, but not for the right reason. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re… sorry?”
I sit back on my heels, trying to put distance between us. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Marcus. I don’t… I don’t want to toy with you like this. It’s not fair of me.”
“Do I need to remind you that I’m the one who asked you to come in here?” He grips my chin, tilting it upward until I’m looking at him. “And I know that, where your future is concerned, this doesn’t necessarily mean anything.”
“But—”
“No buts, Liliana. I’m a grown man. I can make my own decisions and deal with the consequences.”
Marcus’s voice is firm, and that does things to me that it shouldn’t. I lean into his hand, wondering if I could keep this a secret. If I wantto keep it a secret. If I want to ditch all my plans, everything that feels safe to me, and run straight into the unknown.
“I need to… I need to go to bed.” Standing, I stumble away from him.
He also feels safe,my mind whispers.
Marcus steps toward me, concern etched into his features with a hint of regret. “Liliana, if I shouldn’t’ve—”
“No!”
“I got caught up in the moment. I never should’ve asked you to come in here.”
“No,Marcus.” I place a hand on his chest, realizing too late that it’s a mistake. That I like my hand there, pressed up against his bare skin. “This isn’t… this isn’t your fault. I just have a lot of thoughts, but I don’t regret it. Not… not because of Nate.”
The line between his brows deepens. “Then—”
“Not now, Marcus. Please not now. I need to… I don’t know. I need to go.”
My hand slips from his chest, and I sprint away, not stopping until I’ve locked myself in the guest room. I press my back against the door and sink to the floor, hitting my forehead against my knees repeatedly.
It’s not for a solid fifteen minutes of fighting off tears that I realize I never got a book from the library, and that it doesn’t matter anyway, because I’d never be able to concentrate after what I just did.