Chapter 12
“Liliana!”
When I saw her a mess in my kitchen, the last thing I expected her to do was bolt, so I’m frozen in shock for a second. It’s only when I realize she’s heading for the back door that I come to my senses.
She shoves it open and stumbles into the pool area, and I jump into action. Goddammit, I should’ve seen this coming. I had her unintentionally cornered. Heading outside was the only way she could escape our conversation without having to move past me.
I chase after her, ignoring the fact that I already took my shoes off. It’s started raining again, but that isn’t stopping her, and it sure as hell isn’t going to stop me. I’m not letting her get caught out here alone.
“Liliana, the storm!”
But the winds are strong enough that she doesn’t hear me. Either that, or she’s ignoring me. I run as fast as I can, dashing through the backyard until the ground transforms from grass into sand. It’s wet and clumpy and slows me down, but it does the same to her, too.
When I catch up with her, she’s made it halfway to the waterline. I grab her arm, but she slips from my grasp, her skin slick from the rain. A sob rips through the air as she loses her balance and careens to one side. I try to catch her, but she pushes me away, the force of it making her trip and fall.
She crashes to the ground, a surprised yelp escaping her lips as her knees hit the sand. Within seconds, I drop in front of her, grabbing her shoulders.
“Are you all right?” I do my best to check her over. “Did you hurt yourself? Are you—”
“All I feel is hurt,” she cries. “There isn’t anything else. Hurt and shame and hatred and—Marcus, stop!” She shoves my hands away, which were in the process of pushing back the hair that’s plastered to her face. “Just go.”
“The only way I’m leaving this beach is if you’re with me. Fight me all you want, but I’m not leaving your side until you’re back in the house.”
She tries to shove me away, but I only pull her closer, dragging her through the sand until she’s in between my legs.
“What did he do?” I ask, vaguely aware of the possibility that she’s not crying because of my son. That this might all be my fault. “Liliana, is this because of last night?”
I never should’ve invited her in. Never should’ve used her the way I did.
“He’s going to leave me,” she chokes out. “He had a plan to before I found out he was cheating, and when I said I was going to break up with him, he begged me to stay. He promised to fix things, Marcus, but it was only so he could be the one to end things.”
I can barely make out what she says over the wind and the waves crashing, so it takes me a second to realize that I heard her correctly. I sit in stunned silence, my hand traveling up and down her back because I have no fucking clue what to say.
I’m going to kill him.
“And I’m the same,” Liliana says, her voice shaky.
That snaps me back to reality. Why the fuck does she think that?
“Because I want you, Marcus. I want you with everything in me. But you… I took advantage of you, just like Nate is doing to me. And after what I did last night, how could… I can’t trust Nate, so how could you…” Her voice breaks, and she hangs her head in shame. When her forehead hits my shoulder, I realize she’s trembling.
“You didn’t take advantage of me,” I tell her, utterly bewildered. If anything, it was the other way around.
“I flirted with you! I led you on without having any clue how things would turn out. And then—and then there was last night, and Marcus, I feel awful.”
Dread sinks into my stomach like a lead weight. “Lil—”
“You’re vulnerable right now,” she continues, “and it wasn’t fair of me. I should’ve thought about how all this would affect you. That’s what I want for myself, isn’t it? For someone to care. And Marcus, I’m sorry.”
She’s crying again, her face buried in her hands now, and all I do is stare at her. My hand stops rubbing her back as I try to figure out how this is what she’s so upset about.
“I’m vulnerable?”
Oh, my sweet little star. What’ve you got running through that head of yours?
“You said you were lonely,” she yells in between sobs. “And then I—I took advantage of that. Let us both get our hopes up. I shouldn’t’ve stopped to look in your room. And now I feel like I’ve made things too complicated, like I’ve… messed us up before we even had a chance to start. And I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry, and I—”
“Liliana! Just because it looks like you had ill intent doesn’t mean you actually did.”
“I did exactly what he did,” she shouts. “It’s the same, Marcus. I’m the same.”
“It’s not.” I hold her face in between my hands, and my heart cracks into a thousand pieces at the sight of her. Scrunched up face, soaked clothes, and trembling bottom lip. “Your intentions were completely different.”
“I wasn’t thinking about how all this would affect you. That’s exactly what he was doing.”
“Were you trying to manipulate me?”
“No,” she sobs.
“Were you actively thinking about how this could all hurt me?”
“N-no, and that’s the problem, Marcus. I should’ve been. Why don’t you have a problem with that?”
“Because your entire life is falling apart around you. Of course you’re not thinking about my feelings. You’re drowning in your own.”
“I cheated on my boyfriend, Marcus. How are you supposed to be confident that I won’t do the same to you?”
“Why can’t you just accept that someone thinks you’re enough?”
She stops, lips parted and eyes wide, staring up at me in shock. “What?”
“Tell me that’s not what’s going on here. Tell me you aren’t scared, and that you aren’t trying to find every stupid reason to convince yourself that you aren’t good enough for this. For me. Do it, Liliana.”
She gasps, and then fresh tears fill her eyes. I wipe them away as they fall and give her time to collect herself. What I just hit her with will take some time to sink in. I doubt she was even fully conscious of what she was doing.
With every second that passes, my festering anger toward my son builds, burning hotter and hotter. Maybe it’s wrong of me, but I don’t think Liliana should even feel guilty for cheating. After how Nate has been treating her, she had every damn right.
My Liliana used to know she was worth more than this, and it’s his fault that she can’t see it anymore. I’ve seen how he talks to her—the ways he convinces her that she’s being petty or oversensitive. It’s bullshit.
“Marcus,” she murmurs, so quietly I almost miss it. She shakes her head.
No. No, absolutely not. I’m not missing my chance with her.
“You deserve better,” I say firmly. “And if my deadbeat son won’t give you what you need, then goddammit, Liliana, let me.”
“Well, maybe you deserve bett—”
I slam my lips to hers, cradling the back of her head. I do it to shut her up. To force all those thoughts in her head to come to a screeching halt. I do it because we’ve both wanted it for years, and because it’s the only way I can think of to convince her that she’s enough.
She’s more than enough, dammit.
It takes a second, but then Liliana’s body goes soft against mine. A small whimper sounds from her throat, and then she kisses me back. It’s hesitant at first, slow and unsure, but then something snaps inside her. Her fingers run through my hair, and she grips it tight so I can’t pull away.
“That’s it, little star,” I mutter against her lips. “Just let go.”
One of my hands drops to the small of her back, and my tongue gently teases hers. She climbs onto me, forcing my legs together until she’s straddling me. The rain is coming harder now, but we’re too lost in each other to care.
Finally. Finally, she’s mine.
Liliana grinds against my hardening cock, and her hands slip underneath my soaked shirt. I’ve had plenty of women take my shirt off before, but none of them compare to the feeling of Liliana’s hands on my body.
But I stop her, even though it just about kills me to do so. “Liliana, not like this.”
“But—”
“No, little star.”
She sits back, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. The hurt in her eyes absolutely guts me, but it wouldn’t be right like this, even though I want her so badly it hurts. It wasn’t even two minutes ago that she was crying because she thought she took advantage of me. I’m sure as hell not going to do the same thing to her.
“I thought you…” She shakes her head, and her face scrunches up again. When she tries to hide it, I let her, pulling her into my chest. “I’m sorry.”
“I’ve wanted you to be mine for far longer than I should’ve, but I refuse to hurt you more, Liliana. Let’s give you some time to process everything. You can’t apologize for taking advantage of me—which, for the record, you didn’t—and then be okay with me doing it to you. Have some standards for yourself.”
“I think you’re far above my current standards.”
“That may be, but I still need us to wait. I couldn’t bear if I hurt you, little star.”
Slowly, she nods. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think about that.”
“You’re allowed to be a little selfish right now.” I thread my fingers through her hair, tugging on the ends until she looks up at me. “But I don’t want to be something you regret.”
Liliana shakes her head. “I could never regret you.”
“And I want to have absolute certainty of that,” I tell her. “For you and for me.”
She looks like she wants to protest, but for once, she doesn’t. Instead, she slips her arms around me and nuzzles her face again my neck. As I lock my arms around her, I realize it’s stopped raining, and that the sun is peeking through the clouds. The wind has died down, too.
That’s Florida weather for you—as temperamental as a sleep-deprived toddler.
“What happens now?” Liliana whispers.
“I take you inside, get us both cleaned up, and then we do whatever you need to make you forget about Nate.”
“But… what about after that, Marcus? What… what’re we doing?”
“That depends.” My chest tightens.
“On what?”
“On if you’ve made a decision. And if you haven’t yet—if you need more time, or if I’ve misread things—then that’s oka—”
This time, she kisses me, and it’s like diving into a pool on a hot day. Refreshing, relaxing, and everything I fucking need.
“You, Marcus,” she says. “I choose you.”