Chapter 13
“You’re sure this is okay?”
Marcus smiles as he hands me a chocolate-filled croissant. Apparently, when he left earlier, it was to go get us breakfast. “I said whatever you need, Liliana.”
My stomach does a little backflip. I never noticed until the past couple of days how his voice softens whenever he says my name. “Thank you.”
Settling onto the couch, Marcus pulls me into him and hits play on the remote. The opening scene of The Princess Bride starts playing, and I rest my head on his shoulder. We bonded over our love of this movie one of the first times we ever met each other, so I knew it’d be a safe one to pick that wouldn’t bore him to death or something.
I nibble on my croissant while Marcus bites into his. After showering and getting comfy, I already feel a little better. Not a lot, mind you. I’m still wondering if I am who I thought I was, and I still feel horrible for the way I’ve treated Marcus, but at least Nate isn’t on my mind.
“You didn’t use me, little star,” he whispers in my ear. “Now stop worrying about it and enjoy the movie.”
I turn so I can see his face. “How’d you know?”
He pokes my arm. “Do you not feel how tense you are? Relax, Liliana. If you used me, then I used you, didn’t I? Do I need to remind you that I came all over your face last night, got you all hot and bothered, and then did nothing to get you off?”
That’s a decent point.
“In your defense, I basically ran away.”
He sighs. “You’ve been doing a lot of that lately. No more, okay?”
I nod. “Okay.”
He pulls me into him again, and this time I let myself relax. Maybe he’s right—maybe I’m not as horrible as Nate. Maybe Marcus and I were both lonely, and we were just exploring what could be. I wasn’t trying to hurt him. In fact, that’s the last thing I wanted.
“You’re nothing like him,” Marcus whispers in my ear as he drapes a blanket over us.
I bite my lip. “I did cheat.”
“Good. I hope it guts him.”
That makes me smile. Because, honestly, I feel the same way. And if Nate thinks he can pull one over on me, he’s got another thing coming. When he gets back tomorrow, I’m ending things like I should’ve a month ago.
For now, though, I push him from my mind and lean into Marcus. We watch the first half of the movie pressed up against each other, but sometime after that, my eyelids begin to droop. When Marcus notices me nodding off, he adjusts so I can rest my head on his chest, and then he pulls the blanket over my shoulders.
The last thing I remember is wondering why I ever thought I could stay away from him.
. . .
When I wake up, the TV is off, and we’re not in the same position I remember falling asleep in. Marcus is lying on his back, and I’m on top of him, my head resting on his chest. His breathing is slow, and when I look up, I realize he must’ve fallen asleep, too.
“Marcus,” I whisper, but he doesn’t answer.
With a yawn, I settle back down and close my eyes. I barely got any rest last night, and I’m assuming the same is true for Marcus. Add on how emotionally exhausting today has been, and it’s no surprise that we both fell asleep.
I trace my fingers up and down Marcus’s arm, too tired and comfy to get up. I like being up against him like this. It’s a casual intimacy, one that I’ve missed dearly. Now that I have it again, I…
What am I going to do?
Figuring out the near future will be complicated enough—breaking up with Nate, moving all my stuff out of the apartment, all that. But that’s not what I’m worried about. The only thing tying me to South Carolina is Nate. If I can move to a bigger city, it’ll be better for my business, and it’s what I’ve always preferred, anyway.
My gaze travels back up to Marcus’s face. I’ve always thought it was nice down here, and he seems to love it. It checks off the big city box, and I wouldn’t be all alone. And, more importantly, it would mean we could be together.
Marcus’s eyelids flutter, and I bite my lip. Would he want me to move in with him? Would it be naive of me to ask if I could? Are either of us even ready for such a big step so early on? It feels… daunting.
“I can hear you thinking, little star,” he murmurs.
“Can you, now?” I tease before planting a kiss on his chest. “When did you gain superpowers?”
He cracks his eyes open and smiles. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”
“I… don’t want to stay in South Carolina.”
The sleepiness disappears from his eyes, and he sits up, taking me with him. “My home is yours, Liliana. You need to do what’s best for you, but just so there’s no confusion or anxiety on your side, know that I want you here. Know that it’s all I want.”
My heart is in my throat as I open my mouth to tell him yes. But the words get stuck somewhere inside me, and I look down. All of this is happening so fast, and although I know what I want, I don’t want to mess up what Marcus and I have by rushing things.
My stomach growls, and Marcus gently deposits me onto the seat cushion next to him. “I’m hungry, too. I suppose chocolate croissants aren’t the most filling of breakfasts.”
“Marcus—”
“It’s okay, little star. It’s a lot to think about.”
It’s not, though.It’s exactly what I want. But what if I don’t measure up to his expectations of me? What if I’m not enough again?
“I… um. I think I need to make a phone call.”
He drops a kiss to the top of my head. “I’ll make us something to eat. Take your time.”
While he starts rummaging around in the kitchen, I close myself inside the library and dial the number I’ve had memorized for as long as I can remember. I could pull up her contact, but this is faster, honestly.
“Lily! I wasn’t expecting to hear from you until next week.”
I instantly relax at her voice. “Hey, Mom. Um… how’re you doing?”
“Just fine, sweetie. Your dad and I are about to head out for a concert, but I’ve got a few minutes. How’s your trip going?”
I clear my throat. “Well, not so great, but also really well.”
With a laugh, she says, “Do I need to sit down?”
“Maybe.”
“Oh, boy. Tell me what’s going on.”
“Nate cheated on me. Like, a month ago.”
“What?! Wait, a month ago? But you’re on a trip with him now!”
“I… sort of am. He convinced me to stay with him, but I found out this morning that it’s only so he can break up with me on his own terms.”
“Oh my goodness! My poor Liliana. Are you all right? Do you need us to come and pick you up? Your father will whoop his ass at a moment’s notice, you know that.”
“N-no, we ended up coming to Marcus’s to stay. Nate is out backpacking with some old friends. He doesn’t know I know.”
“Marcus, huh? I’ve always liked him. Too bad his son didn’t turn out more like him.”
“Um, about that.” I rub the back of my neck, praying that she’ll understand. “Marcus and I kinda… well, we’ve always gotten along, and one thing sort of led to another, and…”
“You slept with him, didn’t you?” She laughs.
“What? No! I mean—”
Not yet.But I’m not telling my mother that!
“But I am leaving Nate,” I say. “For… for Marcus.”
“Oh, Lily. There’s no need to sound so nervous. You always do what’s best for yourself, with the exception of your romantic life. And I think it’s finally time to let yourself be happy, don’t you?”
“He wants me to move in with him,” I blurt.
“You’d better not be calling to ask for my permission, young lady. You haven’t done that since you were seventeen years old, and you’d better not start up again now.”
“No! No, I’m not. I just want your opinion, I guess. Marcus has always been really kind and accepting of me. But this is all so fast, and if this is just a rebound, I don’t want to hurt him. Oh my god, Mom, I’m so scared of hurting him.”
“Lily, be honest with yourself for a moment, okay? And be honest with me.”
“Okay. What?” I gnaw on my bottom lip while I wait for her to respond.
Mom takes a long, deep breath. “How long have you had feelings for Marcus?”
“Mom!”
“Honey, it’s normal to get a little crush now and again, even if you’re in a long-term relationship. It’s okay.”
That doesn’t undo the knot in my stomach, especially after what I did last night. That goes further than a little crush.
“How long, Lily?”
“Years,” I whisper.
“And I’m assuming you’ve thought through this, at least somewhat? I know you, Lily. You don’t make rash decisions.”
“This feels rash, though.”
“Have you thought about it?”
“Yes.” If I’m being honest with myself, the idea of ditching Nate for his dad was on my mind at Christmas, too, and that was before I even knew he’d cheated. I just haven’t wanted to admit it to myself.
“Then honey, don’t let your fear stop you. You’ve only got one life, and he’s a good man.”
“I’m scared,” I whisper.
“I know. But good things can be scary sometimes. And you want to move in with him? He’s somewhere in Florida, right?”
“Yeah,” I whisper.
“Yeahto what, Lily? My first question or my second?”
“Both.”
“Then get off the phone, hon, and go tell him what you want.”
“Okay. I—I will. Love you.”
“Love you, too, sweet girl.”
I hang up and make my way toward the kitchen. Halfway there, I hear Marcus humming, and it makes me smile. He always seems to hum or sing to himself while he cooks, but today, he sounds happier than normal.
Before he notices me, I lean against the couch in the living room and watch him. He moves in fluid, confident motions as he chops up a pepper, and I realize that moving in with him will mean I won’t have to do all the cooking. Nate hates it, so all meal prep has always been on my shoulders. I don’t mind cooking, but sharing the burden will be… nice.
“Can I help?” I ask.
Marcus looks over his shoulder, his face bright with a smile. “That was a quick phone call.”
“Didn’t need to be long. Just needed to talk some things over.” I come up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist. He’s warm and smells nice, his usual scent of teakwood and spice filling my lungs. “Oh, and I think I’ve made my decision about what your next project should be.”
“Which one?”
“The porch. I think I’ll like having a place to sit outside. You like slow mornings, don’t you? Maybe we can sit out there and drink our coffee and read. Or talk, or… other things.”
Marcus goes still, the knife he’s holding halfway through the pepper in front of him. “Liliana.”
“Turn around,” I whisper.
The knife clatters on the cutting board, and when he whips around, he grips the counter behind him. He doesn’t say anything, but the hope on his face makes my heart squeeze.
“I want to move down here,” I say. “I want to be as close to you as possible.”
“Down here…” He runs his finger through my hair. “With me. In my house.”
“Yes. I want all of that with you, Marcus.” I beam up at him and place my hands on his chest. “I’ve wanted it for a long, long time.”
He blows out a short breath before leaning down and pressing his lips to mine. Butterflies take flight in my stomach at the way he grips my waist and yanks me into him.
“Tell me again,” he breathes out, not even moving back an inch.
“I want to move in with you. I want a life with you, Marcus.”
The relieved sound he lets out fills one of the cracks in my fractured heart. It’s not just that I feel wanted again, but that I feel wanted by him. By the man who treats me like I’m important and like I’m someone deserving of love and care.
Marcus picks me up and twirls me around, and I grab onto him and let out a laugh. My heart is soaring, and for the first time in god knows how long, I feel more happy than hurt. When he sets me down, his lips meet mine the second I’ve regained my balance. His hands cradle the back of my head, keeping me close and kissing me like he needs me to stay alive.
I don’t realize he’s backing me up until my ass hits something hard. I yelp in surprise and grab onto his arms, but when I turn to look behind me, he grabs my face and kisses me again.
“You…” He kisses my cheeks, then my forehead, and then the tip of my nose. “You have no idea what you do to me, little star.”
The dining room table,I realize when he pulls back enough that I can gain my bearings. He backed me up through the entire kitchen.
I gasp when he lowers his head and kisses my neck. His hands thread through my hair, tugging the ends downward until I’m looking up at the ceiling. He groans against my skin, sucking lightly, and it sends a shudder through me.
“Liliana.” Marcus’s voice is strained, and when I run my hands down his arms, his muscles are tense.
“Fuck lunch,” I whisper, bringing one of my hands down to toy with the button of his shorts. “I need you, Marcus.”
His eyes fall shut, and his lips feather over mine. “I don’t want to go faster than you’re ready for.”
“I’m ready.” I cup his cheek. “As long as you want this.”
His laugh sounds almost tortured. “I’ve been ready for longer than I care to admit.”
“Then fuck me, Marcus. I don’t want to wait.”
When he pulls back, it’s only a few inches. “You’re sure?”
“Yes,” I whisper. “Yes, Marcus.”
I may have been sobbing in his arms earlier, but I’m thinking straight now. Sure, what Nate said on the phone earlier stung, but as I already said, I’m used to it. At this point, I’m more pissed at the fact that he thinks it’s okay to treat me like this than I am hurt.
Now that I’ve made my mind up, all I want to do is focus on Marcus. I’ve wasted enough time on Nate.
Marcus lifts me so I’m sitting on the table. “On one condition. And this is nonnegotiable, you hear me?”
“What?”
“If you decide you want to stop, you tell me. I don’t care if I’m in the middle of a fucking orgasm. You say stop, and I’ll back off. Immediately. Got it?”
My heart squeezes. There’s still a part of me that thinks this man is too good for me, and this is just adding to the proof. But I nod anyway, willing myself to believe what he said—that I deserve all this.
“Say it out loud, Liliana,” he says, his voice low.
“I’ll tell you to stop if I need you to.”
Seemingly satisfied, he kisses the tip of my nose. “Good girl.”
Oh god.
When Marcus’s fingers curl around the hem of my tank top, I lift my arms so he can get it off more easily. He takes his time, his knuckles brushing up against my skin in a way that gives me goosebumps. The look in his eyes goes from serious to heated as he reaches around me and undoes my bra.
I toss it to the ground the second I can get it off me. Marcus stands back and takes me in, and I watch his Adams apple bob up and down as he swallows hard. When he finally cups my breasts in his hands, sparks shoot underneath my skin from every point of contact with him.
“These,” he murmurs. “When you came down here the other night wearing that little bikini, all I could think about was how perfectly these would fit in my hands.”
When he squeezes lightly and brushes his thumbs over my hard nipples, I whimper. I want him to do it again, and I want his shirt off, too. So when his hands reach for my shorts, I lift his shirt up.
“You first,” I tell him.
With a knowing smirk, he rips his shirt over his head. I run my hands down his chest while he wastes no time undoing the button and zipper of my shorts.
“Up, Liliana.”
I do as he says, putting all my weight on my hands so he can pull my shorts down. He takes my panties, too, and my socks, leaving me completely naked. In the dining area, we’re surrounded by huge windows, but I’m not too worried. Marcus has enough bushes and trees surrounding the house to block out his neighbors.
I hook a finger through one of the belt loops of his shorts and tug him closer. But just as I’m about to get them off him, he pushes my hand away and sinks to his knees in front of me.
“Too fucking beautiful,” he mutters quietly, almost like he’s talking to himself.
“Marcus, the floor.” I can’t imagine kneeling on hard tile is comfortable for more than a few seconds. If we were on carpet or he had something to put under his knees, that’d be one thing, but—
With a hand on my stomach, Marcus presses me down until I’m flat on my back. He doesn’t bother responding to me, just licks me from vagina to clit with a deep groan. I gasp at the way his tongue feels against me, especially when he wraps his arms around my thighs to tug me to the very edge of the table.
My protests fade from my mind as he gently sucks on my clit. Even though he pushed me down, I prop myself up on my elbows so I can watch him. The view doesn’t disappoint. Marcus’s head is buried between my thighs, and his eyelids are heavy with pleasure. When he sucks harder, I let out a choked noise, and he moans.
He’s eating me out like a man starved—like he’s wanted me for ages, and now he can finally have me. Except it’s not like that. It is that.
“When?” I pant.
At first I don’t think he’s going to stop, but he finally pulls back. “When what?”
“When was the first time you realized you were attracted to me?”
“Since the first time I laid eyes on you, little star.”
That’s… That’s over four years ago.
“And you?” he asks.
“Summer after graduation,” I whisper. “When we stayed here waiting for Nate’s start date.”
“Mmm.” His eyes drop back down to my pussy, and he leans forward and licks my clit slowly.
“Did you—” My voice falters at whatever he’s doing with his tongue. “Did you want to steal me from Nate then, too?”
“Liliana,” he says, and his voice is laced with impatience. “I’ve waited long enough for this. No more interruptions.”
I give him a teasing smile that’s immediately wiped from my face when he sucks on my clit hard. He works me until my body is riddled with tension and my thoughts are as slow as molasses. All I can focus on is him and how close to coming he has me.
“Marcus, you… you’re gonna make me come.”
“Lay back,” he tells me. “Just relax, little star.”
Relax? How the hell am I supposed to do that?
But I do as he says, resting my head on the table.
“Just let yourself get lost in it,” he says against my skin.
Closing my eyes, I focus on the sensation of his tongue dragging up my pussy before he sucks on my clit. I don’t like being the only one getting off, but Marcus is making it hard to want to move. He keeps bringing me right to the edge before slowing down his movements. It’s infuriating, but every time he does it, the tension in my stomach builds more.
At first, I think he’s just taking his time exploring me, but then I realize he’s doing it on purpose. I’ve heard of this before. Tried to do it to myself a few times, even, but I could never hold off for long.
Now, I don’t have a choice.
“I thought—oh fuck—I thought you were supposed to tell someone when you were edging them.”
“Pretty sure you’ve figured it out,” he murmurs lazily.
“Marcus.” I twist, trying to get more friction against his face when he slows down again. I want his fingers inside me. Or his cock—god, I want his cock so badly.
“Uh-uh, little star. This is how it’s gonna go with me. I decide how long you wait. I decide when you come. I decide how many times you come, too.”
“How… how many?”
Oh god.
I’m not even sure if Marcus hears me. He’s too engrossed in what he’s doing, and his moans are loud enough that I’m pretty sure anyone could hear them throughout the whole house.
A delighted shiver runs through me. I figured Marcus was more dominant in bed—always pretended he was in my fantasies—but this isn’t what I imagined.
I’m not complaining, though.
By the time he has my entire body trembling for him, I’ve lost track of how many times he’s worked me up just to back off. I’ve been reduced to a whimpering mess of begging and hair tugging and squirming under his tongue.
“Please,” I gasp. “Marcus, I can’t take it anymore.”
I expect him to take that as a challenge and push me even further, so when he continues working me with his mouth, I let out a surprised cry. My hips buck against his face as I come harder than I have in a long time—possibly ever. Marcus doesn’t seem to care, though. He just holds onto me tighter to keep me in place. While he works me through my orgasm, my mind goes completely blank. I’m pretty sure I scream, not because I feel myself do it, but because I hear it echo around the room.
It only feeds Marcus’s enthusiasm. The sensations are too overwhelming, but when I try to squirm away, he won’t let me. His tongue feels amazing, but it’s too much.
“Marcus,” I gasp, finally managing to push his head back. I breathe out a sigh of relief when he sits back and licks his lips.
“One,” he murmurs before kissing my inner thigh reverently.
“One?”
He nods, his lips dragging up my leg. “If you truly need a break, just say so, okay?”
“A break? What—”
He flattens his tongue against my clit, licking it slowly. My body has had just enough time to wind down, but I’m still sensitive, so I jump at his touch. When he hooks his arms around my legs again, I realize he meant what he said.
I’m not in control here.
And I like it.