Chapter 33
The week before Thanksgiving was a whirlwind of Jeff gathering every bit of evidence he could find and preparing it for the civil case we were now pursuing against Gavin’s dad. A few days after Gavin got out on bail, the prosecutor dropped all charges because of Gavin’s airtight alibi.
The police couldn’t deny that Gavin’s dad had lied to them, and it didn’t come as a surprise that one of them was an old friend of Gavin’s dad.
Not a surprise at all.
Jeff tracked down the skirt-wearing mustachioed douchebag that had hurt Gavin the day I’d found him. His name was Casey LeFleur, and his accomplice was his brother, Jack.
They agreed to testify against Gavin’s dad in exchange for us not pressing charges. It was Gavin’s decision, not mine, because I would have gladly seen them do time for hurting him like they did. He would rather have them around to strengthen the case against his dad.
Jeff had also started moving ahead with a lawsuit against the two officers who had handled Gavin so horrendously the day he’d been arrested.
I would get justice for Gavin if it was the last fucking thing I did. No one would ever hurt him again, and no one who had hurt him would get away with it.
Eric Forster was a fucking dead man.
Not literally, unfortunately. Gavin had made it very clear he’d prefer it if I didn’t get myself locked up for life.
Thanksgiving was a quiet affair. All three of us—me, Anya, and Gavin—helped cook. Gavin made the mashed potatoes, and when he threw one at me, when I caught it and saw what he’d done, my chest tightened. He’d carved a stupid fucking face into it.
I didn’t give it back to him, just set it on the windowsill of the small window in the kitchen until Anya said that it was disgusting and threw it away—but not before taking a picture and sending it to us.
Gavin and I had a few days off from work since Roman and I closed the gym for five days for the holiday. We took Anya to a nearby National Park two days after Thanksgiving; there was hardly anyone there, and all three of us were huffing and puffing on the steep climb to the vista. But it was worth it. Anya took an amazing picture of all three of us, then one of just me and Gavin. I had my arm around his shoulders, and he had his around mine. The bastard was giving me bunny ears, but this time we were both staring into each other’s eyes like the rest of the world had disappeared.
And every single night that the sky was clear, Gavin would take the telescope outside and look up at his star. The smile he would turn on me afterward always made my knees weak.
Things felt almost normal, for a while.
And then the unexpected happened.
The call came on Sunday morning, two weeks after Gavin was arrested.
“Eric Forster was found dead in his house a few hours ago,” Jeff said, his tone solemn. “Had a stroke, apparently.”
My stomach lurched, shock spreading through me, and my gaze flew to Gavin, who was curled up on the other end of the couch, our legs tangled together under my blanket. He was already watching me, those amber eyes searing a hole through my soul. He raised a brow in inquiry, but I couldn’t say anything just yet.
“I…so what…what does this mean? For everything?” I couldn’t tear my eyes from Gavin’s. He knew something big had happened, based on his somber expression.
Jeff sighed. “It means that we can’t press charges against a dead man, we’d have to go against his estate, and if that’s what you really want to do, fine. But it also means that it’s over, if you want it to be. Gavin’s already been cleared of everything, and all that’s left to deal with are those two cops.”
“Fuck,” I muttered, scrubbing a hand down my face. “Okay. Okay, um, I’ll have to talk to Gavin and see what he wants to do going forward. I’ll call you back. And thank you, Jeff. For everything.”
“Of course. Take care, Beck.”
I hung up, staring down at the phone for a long moment, not wanting to meet Gavin’s eyes, knowing how difficult this conversation was going to be.
“What did he say?” Gavin asked, his voice soft. Quiet. As if he already knew.
I raised my eyes to his. “Come here, baby.” I sat up a little and opened my arms. “Come lie with me.”
He didn’t hesitate, didn’t protest, just moved forward onto his hands and knees and crawled over to me, laying that big, beautiful body down on top of mine, propping his forearms on my shoulders, sifting his fingers through my hair and staring into my eyes with so much love it winded me.
“What’s wrong, Beck? What happened?”
There was no beating around the bush with this. I locked my arms around Gavin’s back and said, “Your dad died. He had a stroke.”
His only reaction was a soft, sharp inhale as he stared into my eyes. Then he licked his lips and whispered, “What?”
I brushed his hair back from his forehead. “Yeah. He’s gone. We can move forward with a civil case against his estate, if that’s what you really want to do, or everything to do with him can be dropped and you can start to move on. It’s up to you.”
His eyes slid to my birthmark as his fingers toyed with my hair. “He’s gone?”
“Yeah,” I said softly. “He’s gone.”
A strangled sob tore from his throat, and then he was pressing his face into the crook of my neck, fingers gripping my hair as he cried so hard his entire body started to shake.
“It’s okay,” I murmured, stroking a firm hand down his back. “It’s okay, baby.” I just kept repeating that, over and over again, unsure if he was sad or relieved or a combination of both.
Either way, the only thing I could think was that Gavin was free now. He was finally fucking free of the monster that had terrorized him for far too long. Eric Forster could never hurt him again, and I hoped with everything in me that he was burning in hell.
I turned my nose into Gavin’s hair, letting the citrus scent of his shampoo soothe me as he cried. When his body stopped shaking, when he was just sniffling against my skin, I slipped my hand under his hoodie and palmed his lower back, rubbing slowly.
And then he sat up abruptly, a low growl of frustration sounding in the back of his throat. “Fuck him!” he spat, curling his fingers into the front of my sweatshirt. “How fucking dare he die before I get to actually fight back for once! Fuck. Him!” He pounded my chest with a closed fist, just once, and not hard, but I caught his hand and kissed his knuckles, watching as his chest heaved with quick and shallow breaths.
“I know. I know, baby. You can still go against his estate, if that’s what you want. But it’s over now. You’re free,” I said, holding his gaze as he stared at me with fury in his eyes.
Gavin leaned down and brushed his lips against mine in a soft kiss. “I’ve been free since the moment you found me. And I don’t want his shit. I don’t want anything of his, all I wanted was for him to pay for something . And now he can’t. And I’ll never know if he—if he even loved me ?—”
Fuck. As the tears slipped from his eyes and his face crumpled with all the pain of what he was feeling, I sat up and crushed him to me. “I’m so fucking sorry, Gavin. I’m so sorry you won’t get the closure you need, but none of what he did came from a place of love. He was a monster. You deserved so much better than him. So much better.”
“I hate him,” he whispered brokenly as he clung to me. “I hate him, I hate him, I hate him . He can’t do this to me. He can’t do this. He can’t just leave me without telling me why , I fucking hate him !”
I fucking hated him, too. Even when he was gone, he was still causing his only son more pain than he ever deserved.
I turned my head and kissed Gavin’s cheek, wishing there was something I could say or do that would make him feel better. But I knew he needed to go through these emotions, no matter how painful. I was grateful that he wasn’t bottling it up, that he was letting himself feel, that he was letting himself lean on me.
“Why,” he rasped. “Why, why, why ?”
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly, holding him as he quietly fell apart in my arms. I tipped my head, resting it against his, my heart breaking for the things he’d lost. The parts of himself that had been taken from him. The parts he was slowly reclaiming, slowly repairing.
“I love you, baby. You take however long you need, I’ll be right here,” I said softly, listening to his ragged breaths in my ear.
“I don’t—I don’t want…” Gavin shuddered against me. “I want to be done with it. With all of it. I’m so fucking done .”
“Okay. Then we’re done. It’s over.”
He sighed against me, his body sagging into mine. With relief or exhaustion, I didn’t know. All I knew was I was so proud of him for every choice he’d been making to work through his issues, to get better, to be better, and he deserved the fucking world for that.
Gavin was silent for a long time, and when my stomach growled obnoxiously loud, the small laugh that broke from his lips had warmth spreading through me.
“Sorry,” I murmured, not realizing that I’d apologized until he leaned back in my arms and fixed a heated glare on me.
“You’re that desperate for it, huh?”
His cheeks were stained with dried tears, his lashes still wet and glistening, just dark highlights around his light brown eyes, making him look even more beautiful in the morning light.
“I’m always desperate for it,” I said with a small smile. I leaned forward and kissed his nose. “I’ll never not be desperate for you.”
The look he gave me was so full of love that I felt it in every inch of my bones. Then his lips began to curl in a mischievous smile that turned my bones to dust. “Say please, Becky,” he murmured, his eyes trailing down to my lips.
My cock twitched underneath him, and his smile spread wider when he felt it. “Oh you like that?”
Before he could react, I shoved him down onto his back. His eyes flared with heat, and before I could react, he’d wrapped his legs around my waist and was rolling us onto the floor. I landed on my back with a loud thunk as he plastered his body to mine, digging one arm underneath my head as he tried to move my right arm across my throat, but I shoved off the floor with my feet and rolled us to the side until I was on top of him. I grabbed his arms and pinned them to the ground above his head while he wrapped his legs around my waist, using his hold to grind his hard cock into mine.
“Fuck,” I panted, dropping my face into his neck as pleasure coursed through me.
There were footsteps on the stairs, and then I heard Anya say, “Oh, gross, you guys. Come on!” I heard her stomping back up the stairs, and when I looked down at Gavin, we both burst into laughter.
Another week passed, and although the news of his dad’s death had been jarring, Gavin was slowly returning to himself again. He stuck with his decision to end the case against his dad, which meant that the deal with Casey and Jack LeFleur was off. I wanted to, once again, press charges, but Gavin had shaken his head and quietly said he just wanted everything to be over. That he had done bad things, just like they did. I disagreed with his decision, and I told him as much, but he’d just kissed me and said, “I know you’re upset they hurt me, but I’m not. There’s a part of me that still believes I deserved it, and I don’t know if that’ll ever change.”
It hurt my heart more than I would ever tell him, that he felt that way.
On a cold and cloudy Sunday afternoon, we drove down to an outlet mall to do some Christmas shopping for Anya. We were walking down the sidewalk after buying a bunch of shit Anya definitely didn’t need—but would love—when Gavin slipped his hand into mine and linked our fingers.
I was so stunned that I completely stopped walking, and he stopped and looked back at me. Then he glared at me and said, “Don’t make a big fucking deal out of it, Becky.”
“I’m not,” I said. I could feel myself grinning, pride and love and a deep, hungry possessiveness flowing through me, tangling around my heart in a messy knot of emotions that I wouldn’t trade for anything.
Gavin was holding my hand.
In public.
He was holding my fucking hand.
I wanted to shove him against the wall and claim him with a kiss right in front of everyone, but something told me he wouldn’t go for that.
I’d let him initiate that, too, if he ever wanted to.
Gavin narrowed his eyes at me and started tugging his hand away, but I tightened my grip. He wasn’t getting out of this now.
He moved back to me, getting in my space, and looked up at me with faux annoyance. It was the soft, confident glow in his eyes that gave him away, that let me know it was all for show, and then his words, when he said, “You know, I realized something the other day.”
“And what’s that?” I murmured, trapped in those amber eyes.
“That no one has ever loved me like you do. That you deserve to have someone love you back the same way, someone who can hold your hand in public. Who can kiss you in a crowd. Who will stand by your side no matter how many people are there to see. You deserve that, and I’m done hiding. I’m done. With all of it.”
My heart was swollen with pride, bursting with love, and when he leaned forward and touched his lips to mine, I was pretty sure I’d died.
“No,” he mumbled against my lips. “You’re not dead, you idiot.” I felt his smile, and then he made a startled noise when I gripped the back of his head and kissed him like I wanted to, claiming him in front of the entire world.
Gavin shoved me away after a few moments, breathing hard. “Okay! Jesus, there are fucking kids here, Beck.”
“It was just a kiss.”
“That was not just a kiss, you were basically fucking me with that mouth of yours, and that is not okay for the public to see,” he growled.
I stepped into him until our chests were touching, until I could press my forehead to his, and said, “You like it when I fuck your mouth, princess?”
He licked his lips as his eyes bored into mine. “I like everything you do. Because it’s you.”
Did he even understand what he did to me? That with every passing second, I was falling even more deeply in love with him? That I was happy to keep falling for eternity? I was helpless to do anything but love him, and it was the only thing I’d ever be happy to be so helpless about.
“So you’d like it if I told you that I want you to fuck me?” I moved my mouth to his ear and murmured, “You’d like it if I asked you to put that big, beautiful dick in my ass? That I’ve been thinking about riding your cock for days now? Would you like that, princess?”
“Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, don’t do this to me right now, fuck Beck,” he groaned, letting his head fall forward onto my shoulder. The shopping bags in his hand rustled as he wrapped his arms around me, and I chuckled as I gripped the nape of his neck.
“I guess that’s a yes,” I said lightly, and then he was shoving me back with a glare, and Christ, I wished we weren’t in public right now.
“Fuck you, Beck,” he muttered, lips twitching. He turned away before I could see his smile, but I knew it was there.
I could feel it in my soul.