Chapter 33
Thirty-Three
S unlight and the smell of bacon sandwiches woke me the next morning. For a moment, I felt as if I’d woken in the past. Years ago when my gran was alive, every morning without fail I would wake to a bacon sandwich and a glass of orange juice.
I could smell the lavender she’d grown in her small garden, a garden she’d tended daily.
She’d told me once that she couldn’t have the garden of her dreams – space and money wouldn’t allow it – but she could still have a dream garden.
There was a distinct difference she’d said, and that was true of gardens but was also true of life.
I couldn’t have the life of my dreams, because she wasn’t here, because my mum and dad weren’t here, but I could still have a dream life.
I had Natalie and Ryan, I had Keira, I had ambitions that might one day become a reality, and I had Alfie. Maybe.
The events of last night came back to me with a rush and settled on my body like dead weight, willing me not to get out of bed.
But it was Monday morning and I had to be at work in an hour, so I forced myself up because, as my gran had said, ‘Lying in bed won’t get you anywhere but deeper into the mattress. ’
My phone started ringing as I arrived at work. I pulled it out of my bag, both hoping and dreading that it would be Alfie. I got a bittersweet sense of relief when I saw Keira’s name.
“Hey, baby girl!” her voice rang out, way too chirpy for a Monday morning.
“I just called to ask you to give my begrudging thanks to your man the next time you see him because I just answered the front door to a team of decorators. Apparently they’re here for as long as I need them.
I’m going to have the house finished top to bottom within a week!
I can’t believe it! Did he tell you he was going to send them? ”
“No, but I think I know why he did.” The memory of Alfie’s glower when he saw the bruise I’d gotten from falling off that ladder was still fresh in my mind.
“Well, whatever the reason, thank him will you? I still haven’t forgotten that GPS drama, and his batshit behaviour on Saturday night, but this has definitely won him some brownie points. Plus he punched Adam in the face. Extra points for that.”
“Sure, I’ll tell him.” I was aiming for light and breezy but whatever came out set Keira’s Best Friend alarm off.
“Everything okay, Lo? Did you guys not kiss and make up or…?”
“No, we did. We just got in a fight last night, that’s all.”
“Already? Do you two do anything other than fight and fuck?” As usual, she’d hit the nail right on the head and, to my horror, I burst into tears.
I didn’t mean to, but I ended up telling her everything, in way more graphic detail than she needed.
She listened in silence, an impressive feat for Keira, and when I was finished there was a pause, silent except for my sniffling.
“That bitch is a total psycho, isn’t she?” As usual Keira had managed to sum up a complex issue into ten words or less, and I let out a strained half laugh. “He really didn’t believe you?”
“No, he was completely on her side. I’m so mad, Keira. I feel so betrayed and I have no idea what I’m supposed to do.”
“Maybe you should try and see it from his side? He has known Angie for a long time. I know that if I’d been dating someone for a few weeks and they told me you’d been a bitch to them, I’d probably think they were making it up too. You see my point?”
“Yeah.” I really didn’t want to see her point but it did make sense. We talked a minute longer and arranged to have lunch sometime this week before hanging up.
I hurried across the car park. My call with Keira had made me pretty late. I stepped into the cabin and let out a yell.
“Is this the time you keep when I’m not here?” Mark was sitting at his desk, looking less than impressed. His eyebrows knitted together as he took in my tear-stained face. “Is everything alright?’
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I wiped at my cheeks and sat down to switch my computer on. “How’s your mum doing? Is she better?”
“A little.”
“Good, that’s really good. I’m glad you’re back.”
“Me too. Actually,” he opened his desk drawer and produced a small pink and white orchid in a white pot. “I got you this. It’s a gift, a thank you for holding down the fort.” He crossed the small space between our desks and I stood to take it from him. I was stunned.
“Don’t you like it?”
“Yes, of course! It’s beautiful, thank you.” I smiled up at him, admiring the plant.
“You’re welcome. Now, catch me up on everything.”
I spent the morning getting Mark up to speed on everything. There was still no word from college about my application and I tried not to let it bother me.
Around mid-afternoon, Mark announced he was leaving early to visit his mother at the hospital. I tried to make small talk with him as he packed up his things but truthfully, I was finding it difficult just to keep from falling apart. Alfie had been plaguing me all day.
“By the way, I spoke to Riley Fitzpatrick this morning,” Mark said, startling me out of my Alfie-riddled thoughts “He told me that your meeting with him didn’t go too well.
He said something about your designs being less than impressive?
Didn’t I tell you I wanted to see your designs before you presented them? ” Oh, crap.
“Right…yes, that’s true. I apologise, I forgot you wanted to see them.
Luckily, he’s giving me another crack at it and I’ve already been back to the plot since then and have reworked a new design that I hope to present him soon.
I’ll show it to you when it’s ready.” Not a total lie.
The basic design was reworked, it was just that most of it was in my head.
“Wasn’t your last meeting on Friday?” I nodded, wondering where he was going with this.
“So you’ve been to Harrington House over the weekend?
Riley never mentioned that.” Double c rap.
How was I going to explain this? I was spared the ordeal by a knock at the door.
Mark answered it to find a small, plump woman holding a basket almost as big as her, full to the brim with the biggest blueberry muffins I’d ever seen.
“Delivery for Lola O’Connell?” I signed for them and when she was gone I found Mark’s eyes narrowed at me.
“I guess you have an admirer. Who are they from?” He nodded at the card attached, clearly wanting me to open it.
“Oh, it’s probably just from Keira. I’ll read it later.”
He nodded slowly, as if he knew I was feeding him bullshit. His gaze was starting to make me itch and I felt a surge of relief when he finally left.
I moved my orchid to the other side of my desk, away from the muffins, and pulled the card out of the basket. I opened it, mentally preparing for the emotional wrench it was sure to cause.
We need to talk.
A.
Yep, there it was. The emotional wrench. The note was written in his own hand and I could imagine him speaking the words, the coldness in his eyes as he said them.
I picked a muffin out of the basket and pulled off a small piece, chewing it slowly, savouring the taste. Of course it was delicious, the highest quality. Everything with Alfie was always of the highest quality.
The end of the day finally came. I flung my bag over my shoulder, trying to juggle it with my keys and the Orchid from Mark. The thing had bothered me all afternoon, sitting on my desk, staring at me. Judging. I was going to take it home and put it somewhere I wouldn’t have to see it too often.
I also carried a muffin for Natalie and Ryan in a take out box from the cafe. The rest I’d handed around to the staff.
I pressed the button on my car key and the van unlocked with its usual groan. I was about to open the door when I spotted a familiar set of dirty blonde curls a few spaces down.
“Bradley!” I waved at him, and he gave me a weak smile and wandered over. “I just wanted to see if you were alright? I was hoping to see you at lunch today.” I’d waited in our usual spot in the boutique garden but he hadn’t showed. I couldn’t say I blamed him.
“I wasn’t sure whether to come or not. I guess I just chickened out in the end.” He shrugged and stuffed his hands in his pockets.
“That’s okay, I get it.” At least he was honest. That was one of the things I liked most about Bradley.
I never had to guess what he was thinking.
“Bradley, I’m really sorry about Saturday night.
..” I trailed off, struggling to balance all the crap in my arms. Without a word, Bradley took the muffin box off my hands. Alfie’s muffins.
“Yeah, me too.” He avoided my gaze, looking as if wrestling with something. “Lo…do you think I’m a good guy?”
“Of course I do!”
“I think so too. I’d like to think that, even though I like you, I’m a good enough guy that I’d be okay losing you to another guy if he deserved you.
But that Alfie Tell seemed like a bad person to me, yelling at you and ordering you around like that, and I saw you crying in your car this morning.
..” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, messing his curls even more.
My stomach twisted, feeling simultaneously guilty and embarrassed that Bradley had been dragged into this.
“If you want to be with him that’s your choice, but if you want my advice…
do you want my advice?” I nodded, though I honestly wasn’t sure.
I just wanted him to not be upset with me.
“Just because salt looks like sugar, doesn’t mean it isn’t salt. You understand what I’m saying?”
“You think Alfie’s salt?”
“Maybe. Just try and keep your head, alright? I wouldn’t want anything happening to it.”
“I’ll try.”
He pulled me in for a one-armed hug and I leaned into him, enjoying the comfort after a long day of sitting on my nerves. He sighed and surprised me with a kiss on top of my head. Suddenly, his body tensed.
“Shit.”