Chapter Twenty-Four
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
GARRETT
My new office still has the faint smell of fresh paint, and everything in it is shiny and new; the dark wooden desk, the desktop computer with its two monitors, and the empty bookshelves that I’ve been slowly filling up with books and binders filled with company invoices and financial excel sheets from past years.
Christian really hooked me up, making sure I have every supply and software I’ll need for my new job. Honestly, a part of me thinks he’s more excited for this than I am, and I’m thrilled. This is exactly the sort of career I’d always imagined for myself—a corner office, my own assistant at her desk outside my door, and no fear of accident or injury while on the job. It’s only been a few days since I’ve started, so I’m still getting settled in and used to everything, but I’m feeling good about this new start.
Unfortunately, that’s about the only thing I feel good about right now. It’s been nearly a week since I was with Marie, and we haven’t spoken since. I’ve sent her a few texts, just to try and check in, but the only response she ever sent was her repeating that she needs time and space. I’m trying to give that to her, but it’s difficult. I’m torn between my lingering guilt about my promise to Mom and my feelings for Marie. I want to fix things between us, but I have no idea how to do that. Still, knowing she’s upset with me, and knowing I deserve it is something I hate more than anything. I’ve done nothing but screw up her life and break her heart.
Sighing, I sit back in my chair and scrub a hand over my mouth. This isn’t going to work. I can’t focus on my job because of my anxiety about Marie, and I don’t want Christian to kick my ass out of here and back to the oil fields.
As my mind is spinning with everything going on with Marie, my cellphone buzzes on my desk. It’s Haven. With a frown, I answer it.
“Hey,” I say. “What’s up?”
“Garrett, you and I need to have a conversation,” she answers. “Are you free after work today?”
“Uh, yeah. Is everything okay?”
“I’m fine,” she assures me. “But we have some things we need to discuss, and they’re important. Meet me at the coffee shop when you get off.”
It doesn’t escape me that she’s not making a request. “All right, I’ll be there.”
“See you later.”
She hangs up without a goodbye, leaving me caught off guard and confused from her curt tone. Crap, she didn’t sound exactly happy. What could she want to talk about?
I can’t help but feel like my ass is about to be chewed, and I’m afraid to find out why.
* * *
After work, I head straight to the coffee shop. Haven is already here, sitting at a table in the far corner. I make my way over to her and she looks up, her brow furrowed. She looks irritated as I sit down across from her.
“Hey,” I cautiously say. “What’s going on?”
She narrows her eyes and snaps, “Do you really think you’re keeping your promise to Mom by breaking Marie’s heart over and over?”
“What? Marie told you…”
“Whatever you think, you’re not,” she continues, cutting me off. “This isn’t what Mom would’ve wanted at all.”
I bristle at her words, but ready to defend myself. “I know that you think I’m being ridiculous, but I’m just trying to do the right thing and honor Mom’s memory by keeping my distance from Marie. Mom thought of her as a second daughter… she would’ve been disappointed to know that I don’t think of Marie as a sister.”
Haven rolls her eyes and lets out a huff of breath. “Do you hear yourself? Yes, Mom treated Marie like she was part of the family, but that doesn’t make her your sister in any sort of capacity. Mom wouldn’t have wanted you to sacrifice your own happiness or cause Marie so much pain.”
Her words hit me hard. Marie said something similar the other morning and they shocked me then as well. Guilt and confusion roll through me, mixing together into a toxic sludge in my stomach. Slowly, I shake my head.
“A-a relationship with Marie would be a mistake. I’m supposed to protect her and look out for her. Not take advantage…”
“Being in a relationship with her wouldn’t mean you’re taking advantage of her,” Haven says, her tone gentler but still firm. “Garrett, just think about this for a minute, okay? Are you really taking care of Marie this way? Protecting her? Or are you causing more harm than good? Would Mom actually be happy with this situation?”
A part of me wants to latch onto what she’s saying and give into all the desire and want that has been building inside of me for Marie, but another part of me insists that I can’t. Crossing the line with Marie would be a betrayal of Mom, and I can’t just let that belief go so easily. It’s been such a defining aspect of my life since Mom passed. So many of my decisions have been made with that promise in mind.
The idea that I’ve misinterpreted what Mom wanted all this time is gut-wrenching.
Meeting Haven’s gaze, I say, “How do you know that’s not what Mom wanted?”
She frowns and shakes her head. “Mom only ever wanted us to be happy, Garrett. Come on, do you really think she’d be upset if you were with Marie? Hell, if you two got married, Marie would have been her daughter for real. I don’t think much of anything would have pleased her more.”
I can’t deny that Haven has a point there, and I hadn’t thought about that before. Have I really been so wrong all this time? Did I take Mom’s words too literally?
“Garrett, what do you want? Don’t think about your promise to Mom. Just tell me what it is you really want.”
The answer comes easily, it’s not something I even have to think about.
“I want Marie,” I confess softly.
Haven gives me a small, encouraging smile. “Does Marie make you happy?”
When I spend time with her, it’s the highlight of my whole day. Her smile is infectious, and the sound of her laugh is enchanting. Of course she makes me happy. Even though I’ve been riddled with guilt, the moments wrapped in her arms, her body pressed to mine, have been some of the most satisfying of my life.
“Yes,” I murmur. “She makes me happy.”
“Okay then, last question. If Mom were alive, would she be happy if you and Marie were together?”
I freeze as the question swirls in my brain. Fuck, it’s so obvious, isn’t it?
“She’d be thrilled.”
Haven’s right… Mom wouldn’t be upset at all if Marie and I were together. I can almost see her, happy tears in her eyes as she hugs us and tells us how much she loves the both of us.
My breath leaves me in a rush. Relief rushes through me, but apprehension as well. I’ve messed things up so badly… what if Marie has already given up on me?
“You need to talk to Marie,” Haven says, reaching across the table and taking my hand. “You need to tell her how you really feel.”
Looking at our entwined hands makes me realize how dumb I’ve been. Haven has always been there for me, and not coming to her sooner was stupid. Yet, I can’t help the doubt that plagues me. “What if she doesn’t believe me? She’ll think I’m just trying to stay close to her because of the baby if I show up and completely change my tune about the two of us.”
“Then you need to prove to her that you care about her as a person and not just because she’s having your baby,” Haven states matter-of-factly.
“How?”
She shrugs. “That’s something you have to figure out for yourself. What’s something that you could do that would leave no doubt in her mind that you have genuine feelings for her?”
“I-I’m not sure.”
She sighs and pushes to her feet, struggling a bit as she finds her balance with her belly.
“Give it some thought.” She moves around the table and places a kiss on the top of my head. “Whatever you figure out, make sure it actually means something to her, okay? It has to have an impact.”
She puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes before walking away and out of the shop.
I watch her through the front window and suddenly, Christian appears, popping out from around the shop’s corner. Haven is obviously surprised, jumps, smacks him on the shoulder, and scolds him, though I can’t tell what she’s saying. However, the next moment, she grabs the front of his shirt and pulls him down into a kiss before smacking him again. He grins sheepishly, and the two start heading down the sidewalk together and out of sight.
Shaking my head, I chuckle and settle back in my chair. Alone with my thoughts, I still have no idea what kind of gesture would be grand enough to prove my feelings to Marie, but I’m determined to figure it out.
* * *
I don’t stay much longer at the coffee shop. As I drive home, the passing scenery barely registers. My mind is elsewhere, turning over every idea, every possible way to show Marie that I care. She deserves more than an apology. She deserves proof that I’m all in.
As I pass through downtown, a familiar building catches my eye. The bookstore. Marie’s bookstore.
That’s it!
I nearly miss my turn as the idea takes shape. If reopening her mom’s shop is Marie’s dream, then what better way to show her how much she means to me than by helping her make it happen?
By the time I pull into my driveway, my heart is pounding with a mix of nerves and excitement. I sit in the truck, staring at the house but not really seeing it.
Can I actually do this? It’s not like I have experience with bookstores or renovations, but I know people who do. Mason, with his contractor business and experience, could be perfect to help me with this plan.
I pull out my phone and scroll to his number. The line rings twice before his familiar, laid-back voice answers.
“Garrett? What’s up, man?”
“Mason, I need your help,” I say, skipping the small talk.
There’s a pause on the other end. “Okay… what kind of help are we talking about?”
“Marie’s mom’s old boutique,” I say, the words tumbling out in a rush. “I want to renovate it. Fix it up. She’s been wanting to do it for years, but has never had the time or the money.”
“Wait, are you serious?” Mason sounds more intrigued than skeptical, which is a good sign.
“Dead serious. I don’t know the first thing about restoring a shop, but I know you do. I’ll pay you for your time, whatever it takes.”
“We’ll figure all that out, don’t you worry,” Mason says, chuckling. “I’ll give you the friends and family discount or something. But you’ve got to tell me—why the sudden interest in this place?”
“Because I care about her. And I need to prove it to her in a way that matters.”
There’s a beat of silence, and then Mason finally opens his mouth. “All right. I’m in. When do we start?”
A wave of relief washes over me. “Tomorrow, if you’re free. I’ll meet you at the shop, and we can take a look at what needs to be done.”
“Sounds good. I’ll bring my tools and coffee. We’re going to need it.”
I hang up, feeling a flicker of hope for the first time in days. It’s not much yet, just the spark of an idea, but it’s something.
As I head inside, I can’t stop thinking about how Marie’s face might light up when she sees the shop restored. If I can pull this off, maybe it’ll be enough to show her how much she means to me—and that I’m finally ready to let go of the past for a chance at a future with her.