39. JENSEN
39
T he look on Lily’s face reminds me of Della when she was younger. Her light blonde hair shines bright in the morning sun like Rae’s, and her blue eyes are blazing at the world with an eagerness to explore. I still wish I’d remember how it felt to be wearing that childish, carefree gaze the entire day.
“You can’t catch me! I’m the gingerbread man!" she yelps, avoiding my grasp as she runs over the grass of the yard.
“Don’t be so sure, gingerbread man!” I leap forward, my arm circling her tiny body to throw her over my shoulder as a shriek sounds loud in my ear.
Girly giggles come from her chest while I tickle her side, and she tries to squirm out of my hands.
The sound of my phone ringing in my pocket makes me hold still, while I still have her on my shoulder. Holding her up with one hand, I pull my phone out. “Hold on, sweetie.”
Mom.
Great, just the person I was looking for.
Carefully, I put Lily back on the ground. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I gotta take this. I’ll be right back, okay?”
She gives me a slight nod with a cheerful smile, and I walk toward the right gate of the yard while I answer my phone.
“Morning, mother,” I say, my tone bored.
I’ve been preparing myself for this conversation the entire morning, knowing she was going to be calling at what time I was supposed to be arriving. After I acted out this conversation in my head about a dozen times, I just went with fuck it like I have been.
So, here I am, thinking exactly that. She will probably throw a fit, but she’s a grown woman. She will survive.
“I’m assuming you’re arriving soon?” I chuckle at the bluntness of her question.
“ How are you, Jensen? I’m good, mom. Thanks. How are you?” I mock.
“Cut the crap, Jensen.”
“Mom!” I scold, amused. “Such vile language. What will everyone think of you?”
“I hear you think this is all very amusing, but I’ve been comforting your girlfriend for the last three days. She tells me you’ve been ignoring her calls.”
My jaw ticks. “She’s not my girlfriend.”
I walk past the sheltered part of the driveway to the front yard.
“She is until your father is elected.”
It’s unbelievable how you can basically sell your son’s happiness for politics and still sound so sure of yourself. As if it all makes complete sense. Most parents would put their kids’ happiness in front of their own, but not Kathleen Jensen. To Kathleen Jensen, I’m nothing more than an addition to her perfect picture, an asset gone rogue.
“No.” I raise my chin, even though she can’t see me while I press my back against the grill of Rae’s car, looking at the house.
I’ve only been fortunate enough to have stayed in Rae’s family home for less than forty-eight hours, but it showed me exactly what was missing in mine. Rae had given the Lockheart’s a hard time, being the heartbroken little girl that she was, but they continued to stay by her side no matter what she did.
And even now, after all these years, they treat her like her own. My parents failed to give me even a fraction of the love she still gets every day. The affection, the encouragement. I’ve come to terms with the fact that it will never be my life. It’s probably going to push me into therapy at some point in my life, but I can settle with that.
I will not settle with my mother telling me what to do any longer.
“No?” My mother sounds surprised.
“I’m not getting back together with Emily.”
“Jared James,” she huffs, a little indignant this time. “You’re not serious, are you?”
I hate it when she calls me by my first name. But then again, I hate it when she calls me. Period.
“Dead. I’m done, mother. I’m sure dad will become governor without my fake relationship.”
I wait for her to throw a fit and start screaming in my ear, but she stays quiet.
“I see,” she finally says, her voice soft and warm, making my brows knit together. My heart rate speeds up, realizing something is off. My mother isn’t soft and warm.
A sigh sounds in my ear. “Okay, Jensen.”
My eyes widen. “Okay?”
You know when someone says one thing and you hear something completely different? She might not be standing in front of me, showing me the expression that comes with it, but my gut tells me this is not an actual okay .
It’s not an okay, let’s do that .
Or an okay, I understand .
No, it’s an okay that makes goosebumps trickle over my skin, my brows plowing together. An ominous feeling building slowly in my stomach, as I purse my lips in anticipation.
“I guess we can figure something out.”
“We can?” I sound like a fucking dumb fuck, but I’m honestly flustered.
“Yes. I suppose we can.”
“What’s the catch?” I ask, suspicious.
“Nothing. I know you never really liked Emily. I’ll let her know. Are you still coming to New York?”
A little confused, I clear my throat. I blink a few times while my hand goes through my scruff, and a weird sensation seems to surround me like a cocoon. I’m waiting for the relief, the happy feeling that I’d expect to settle in as soon as I told my mom how I really felt, but I’m just standing here… and nothing. Nothing happens.
“Actually, no. I’m going to stay in North Carolina for a while.”
“With that girl?” Disdain is clear in her voice, igniting my annoyance.
“Her name is Rae, mother . And yes. She’s my girlfriend, and I want to see where this goes.”
“Probably to shit,” she mutters.
I roll my eyes, a tightness forming in my chest. I do my best to keep my mouth shut, taking this win without making things worse. I’d expect her to go ballistic, so I should be happy with the outcome of my rebellion. Part of me is even wondering why I didn’t do it earlier, but I still can’t lose the nagging feeling.
“Anyway,” she continues, “I’d appreciate it if you’re home next weekend. We will announce your sister’s engagement.”
My heart stops. The blood from my face rushes down, draining me instantly. I push off the car, pacing up and down the driveway.
“Excuse me?”
There it is. That ominous feeling, entering the room in its full glory.
“Your sister’s engagement,” she tells me in a tone that shows exactly how cunning she is. “It's next Saturday. I get that you want to explore whatever that is with this trashy blonde, but I’m sure your sister would appreciate it if you could let that be for a day or two and be here.”
“Della doesn’t even have a boyfriend!” My anger has flared up within a split second, wanting to punch something.
The grip on my phone grows tighter, as if crushing the device will crush my mother’s devious plan, but I know better. She raised me.
“Well, she does now,” she says matter-of-factly.
“She is seventeen!” I roar.
“He’s Senator McMahon's son. They will make a great couple. Besides, someone has to pick up your slack.”
“He’s a bully and a fucking dirtbag! He’s slept with almost every girl in her class!”
There is no fucking way, I’m letting Jerk Junior McMahon near my sister. Before you know it she’s knocked up and beaten up, I’ll be arrested for first degree murder, and Finn will have to represent me in court.
“The boy is eighteen, Jared. Besides, you live in California ,” she says as if the word itself will give her hives, “what do you know about high school seniors in New York?”
“His reputation travels nationwide, mother. Which is exactly my point.”
“I don’t know what you want me to tell you. This is going to happen.”
I imagine her looking at her red nails, a bored look on her flawless face. My jaw clenches so hard it hurts, and I let out a deep grunt while my heart falls out of my chest. I went through every scenario in my head, from accepting the ending of my career until moving to some small town in the Midwest like a forgotten child.
Not once did it cross my mind that she’d be evil enough to use my little sister against me. I expected her to try and mold Della more and more into a carbon copy of herself, but I’d find a way to make sure she didn’t have to join the circus like I did. Forcing my underaged baby sister into an arranged marriage is taking this to a whole different level, I didn't think she was capable off.
She outsmarted me again, pushing me back against the walls with her freshly manicured nails. She is malicious, and even though that’s old news, it never occurred to me how far she’d go to get her way.
“Does Della know?” I hardly believe my sister would agree with this, and as much as I don’t want to keep my fake relationship, I can’t let my sister take the fall for me.
I can’t let her ruin her life because I’m a selfish prick.
“I’ll tell her tonight.”
“You’re a shit, mother. Do you know that?” I feel the words from head to toe, meaning every word. “You’re a sick bitch, manipulating your children any way you can, as long as you get what you want.”
She huffs, shocked, though I doubt the words will affect her. “I’m only doing what’s best for all of us, Jared. Your father becoming governor will open more doors than you might imagine.”
“I don’t need doors to be opened!” I blast. “I just want to be fucking happy!”
“Well, so do I. We all have to sacrifice for our family.”
“Pretty convenient. You never have to sacrifice shit, ain’t that right?”
“I’ve sacrificed enough, Jared.”
She doesn’t get it. She will never get it, and I hate her for it. I hate her for being a shitty mother, and I’m dying to be fucking selfish and tell her to go fuck herself. But Della’s happy face pops into my head, and I can’t. I can’t destroy my little sister’s life like that. I’m selfish, but I’m not that selfish.
I shake my head, gripping my hair while I stare out into the street.
“I’ll come home.” I push out the words like they are venom on my tongue, a lump forming in the back of my throat.
“You will?” she questions, as if she’s surprised.
Kathleen Jensen, people, the Wicked Witch of the East, the evil queen, and your worst nightmare all wrapped into one impeccable looking package.
“Don’t you dare go through with that engagement! I’ll be there before dinner.”
“Now, Jared, let’s make one thing clear,” she chastises. “There will be an engagement announced. If it will not be Della’s, it’s going to be yours.”
“Fine.”
“With Emily?”
“Yes,” I seethe, wanting to wrap my hands around my mother’s neck.
“Well, glad we got that sorted,” she replies with a contented tone, as if this was all a big misunderstanding.
It isn’t.
It’s fucking hell, and I can’t seem to find a ticket out of here.
“No more surprises, Jared. Or we will continue with the back-up plan.”
“I understand.”
“Great. I’ll see you tonight.”