Chapter 20 #2
Hope placed her hand on her hip before she replied, “Because he doesn’t know me like that. If Elliot puts in a good word for me, then he would be more intrigued to get to know me.”
Esther let out a deep laugh, finally putting down her book. “Girl. You know he’s basically in love with Elliot, right?”
Hope and I sported the same expression at Esther’s words.
“Stop, El is not in love with me.” I knew Esther loved to get under Hope’s skin, but joking like this was taking it too far. “Sure, he’s attracted to me, but we are just friends, and he understands that.”
“No. He’s waiting for you to let your guard down so that he can slide in those draws,” Esther teased. I pinched her instantly, which made her giggle.
“That’s not what’s happening at all,” I defended. “We are friends.”
Esther returned to her book, her mind already made up. “Hm, sure. I rent out beach houses to spend time with my friends, too.”
I turned to Hope. “ Don’t listen to her. It ain’t like that with us. We really are just friends.”
Hope frowned. “Whatever, Ellie. Just talk to him.”
Before I could say anything, she ran back to the game, leaving me alone with the intense feelings of her and Esther’s words.
I hated how I felt about it. None of this had anything to do with me.
It shouldn’t have mattered. Hope was interested in El. And El, as far as I knew, wasn’t interested in Hope. El wanted me; that much was obvious because, apparently, Esther picked it up, too. But in love? It was too soon for that.
I massaged my temples to relieve the tension.
Why was my life so complicated all of a sudden?
“You want me to break that shit up, or you good?” Esther asked, still reading her book but nodding in the direction of the volleyball game.
I glanced over at Hope and El. They both were really into the game, moving around and diving into the sand to save the ball. El took off his shirt mid-game, and occasionally, he would give her a pat on the back when they scored or a little high-five. It was cute. They looked good together.
They were both fit from working out constantly, they both were very straightforward about what they wanted, and they were closer in age than Elliot and me.
They made sense together.
As Elliot’s friend, I should be pushing him toward someone who was interested in him. I should be okay with him dating someone else. Except I wasn’t okay with it.
And if I wasn’t okay with it, then I needed to admit to myself at least that I had feelings for El.
“No, I’m good. I can fix it.” I exhaled sharply, shutting my book.
Esther glanced over. “How?”
“I just need to clear my head.”
She raised a brow. “…And you’re gonna do that by?”
I stood, stripping off my cover-up to reveal my bikini. The second the fabric hit the deck, I felt the shift in the air.
El noticed immediately.
Esther whistled at the sight of me, “Okay, Houston hottie. Look at that big ole’ country ass.”
She slapped one of my butt cheeks, and I swatted her hand away playfully.
“Go get ‘em, girl!” She called out after me as I made my way to the shore.
I hadn’t even made it down the steps before El was jogging toward me, his game forgotten.
“El!” Hope called after him. “What about the game?”
Without looking back, he said, “Go on without me.”
Hope huffed, crossing her arms. “What the hell…”
I smirked to myself as I stepped into the water, the cool waves washing over my feet. I didn’t have to look to know El was following.
“Running away from me again?” he asked, voice low.
I kept my back to him, wading in deeper. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He snorted. “You always do this.”
“Do what?” I sang, acting oblivious.
“Play like nothing is bothering you.”
I turned, letting the water lap at my waist as I faced him. “Nothing is bothering me.”
He studied me for a long moment. “Liar.”
I held his gaze, something tense hanging between us.
The words I wasn’t ready to say. The apology I wasn’t ready to offer, but he was ready to receive.
It wasn’t fair how well he knew me. He knew I was dying to talk about that night; I was dying to clear the air between us.
But unfortunately for him, I was still in the mood for mischievousness.
So, instead, I flicked water at him.
El grinned, stepping forward. “Oh, so that’s how it is?”
I flicked more water. “That’s how it is.”
Before I could react, he lunged, scooping me up and tossing me into the waves. I barely had time to suck in a breath before I went under, the saltwater stinging my eyes.
I came up gasping, wiping my face. “You got my hair wet!”
He was already backing up, laughing. “You started it.”
I surged toward him, but he was faster, dodging me with ease. “I’m gonna kill you!”
We splashed and shoved, the tension from earlier dissolving into something playful, something easy. And for now, that was enough.
“I probably should have asked this before, but can you get your pod wet?” I asked.
“It’s fine. It’s waterproof, and I have a water-resistant patch securing it,” he explained.
“Wow. That sounds…” I couldn’t find the right word.
“Expensive,” he finished for me.
The water was warm, the waves gentle as we swam together.
El kept close, always within arm’s reach, brushing against me every so often like he was testing boundaries.
We stayed like that for a while, floating, teasing, talking about nothing, until the sky shifted and soft oranges and purples blended into the deep blue of the ocean.
“You’ve been avoiding me all day,” he said, floating on his back, squinting up at the sky.
“No, I haven’t.”
He flipped over and swam closer, his eyes playful. “Liar.”
I splashed him in response, and he just grinned, diving under the water. A moment later, he surfaced behind me, his hands lightly grazing my waist before I swatted him away. He watched me closely, not even bothering to defend himself.
From the deck, Esther called out. “Elliot! I’m heading out. My man’s here.”
I turned, nodding. “Okay. Do you mind giving Hope a ride? We’re gonna stick around for a while, and I don’t want her to get bored.”
Esther gave me a look, one that said she knew exactly what I was doing.
I pressed my hands together and pouted. “Please?”
She sighed, shaking her head. “You owe me.”
Hope wasn’t thrilled about it, but she didn’t argue. “Remember what we talked about, Ellie,” were her last words when she departed.
And soon enough, they were gone, leaving just me and El, the beach house, and the setting sun.
We rinsed off together in the outdoor shower, which was just big enough for two. It wasn’t intimate, not in the way it could have been, but with the way El watched me, it made the space feel smaller.
After the shower, we sat on the deck in silence, watching the last slivers of daylight fade into night.
“Hope wants you,” I said, breaking the quiet.
El didn’t even blink. “I know. I’m not interested.”
I turned to him, startled by how quickly he answered. “Damn. You didn’t even think about it.”
“Didn’t have to.”
I frowned. “Why not? She’s… a nice person.”
“I’m sure she is.”
“And you’re still not interested?”
He finally looked at me, his expression unreadable. “She’s your friend, Ellie.”
“So?”
“So. I’m not going to date your friend because I can’t have you. What kind of man would that make me?” His voice was firm, unwavering. “I’d never do that to you, Elliot. I respect you too much.”
I swallowed hard. “Oh.”
“Exactly.”
His words settled between us, and I shifted where I sat, wrapping my arms around my knees. “El, I’m not—I can’t give you what you’re looking for.”
He exhaled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah. You keep saying that.”
“Because it’s the truth.”
Silence stretched between us.
Then, softer this time, he asked, “Why are you so scared of us?”
I took a breath, deep and shaky, as my fingers dug into the sides of my calves like I could anchor myself.
“I just… I can’t take on loving someone right now.”
His brows drew together. “What do you mean?”
“I mean—” I hesitated, the words catching in my throat. Then I forced them out. “I was engaged before. Three years ago.”
El sat up straighter, caught off guard. “Engaged, Ellie?”
I nodded, my throat tightening. “Yeah. To someone I’d known all my life. And he hurt me. So badly.” I swallowed hard. “He betrayed my trust in every way possible. He was sleeping with my sister the entire time. And now they’re engaged.”
El didn’t speak right away.
His jaw flexed, his fingers curling into fists. “Is that why you were so mad the other night?”
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
I let out a dry laugh. “Because it’s embarrassing, El. I never want to live with the shame I feel from going through that. That’s why I moved to Thailand. I wanted to escape it completely.”
El’s voice was low. “But you know I’d never hurt you like that, Ellie.”
“Not in the same way. But what scares me about us is that I still can’t trust this fully.”
His brows knit tighter, hurt flickering in his eyes.
“Why not?”
I sighed. “Puddin’. You’re an amazing person, honestly, but you want to shield me from the reality of your health. You would lie to me about it. I know you would. You think I can’t handle the truth because I’ll be upset, but what actually upsets me is you hiding it.”
He shifted beside me. “It’s not intentional. I just don’t want you to feel like you need to take care of me.”
I turned to him, my voice sharper than before.
“Elliot, I care about you. But if you’re going to keep hiding this stuff from me, I’ll never be able to trust you.
The other night woke something up in me.
My dad used to lie about taking his meds.
He didn’t take his condition seriously, and look where he ended up. ”
El opened his mouth, probably to defend himself, but I didn’t let him get the chance.