CHAPTER 5
Lucifer slaps my back while a shit eating grin spreads across his face. I smile back, but it feels brittle on my face. I’m not feeling this moment like I thought I would. Not like I’d imagined for months while I was prospecting.
It was my goal because getting my patch meant something. It still does, it means brotherhood and that my brothers have my back, which I am grateful for. But getting my cut, which now rests on my shoulders, meant it was time to claim our Cherub. Fucking finally.
There’s only one problem with that now. She’s gone and has been for the last three months.
Everything was fine. Gray was about to come up on the end of his year of prospecting and we were planning on taking Heather back to Club Sin to celebrate. She seemed a little off, but it wasn’t something the three of us worried about too much.
Then she disappeared.
We, understandably, freaked the fuck out. When we couldn’t find her, the three of us stormed into Lucifer’s office with Bedlam leading the charge. Prez didn’t look surprised to see us as he sat back and put his hands behind his head like he had all the time in the world to deal with our shit.
Bedlam growled, “Where the fuck is Heather?”
Prez wasn’t deterred, and he, surprisingly, didn’t immediately kill Bedlam. He sounded smug as fuck, “Oh, you’re finally admitting that something is going on with the three of you and Heather?”
“We were never denying anything, Prez,” I tried to be diplomatic even though inside a piece of me was dying a slow fucking death. “She’s not here and her stuff isn’t in her room. She didn’t say anything to us, and we’re worried.”
There was a challenge in his tone, “Why does it matter to you?”
“Because she’s ours,” Bedlam’s normally affable exterior was gone as he roared those words at Lucifer.
Gray grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back a few steps for Bedlam’s protection, not Lucifer’s. Our Prez’s eyes hardened as he looked at the three of us. “She came in this afternoon and seemed upset. I tried to talk to her about it and get to the bottom of it, but she wasn’t willing to share. She told me thank you for letting her be an angel and giving her a home, but it was time for her to leave.” My mouth popped open, but he held up a hand to stop me from saying anything. “No, she didn’t say where she was going.”
I started shaking my head, unable to wrap my mind around what he was saying. My voice sounded hollow as I asked, “She just left?”
Lucifer’s eyes softened slightly as he looked at me while my chest was heaving with the reality of what he was telling us. “She did leave, and I don’t know why, but I got the feeling it wasn’t because she didn’t want the three of you. I made her promise me she wasn’t in trouble, and she would come to the club if she was. I told her we’d protect her. She assured me it wasn’t anything like that.”
“You just let her go?” The betrayal in Bedlam’s voice was plain to hear.
Lucifer’s glaring eyes swung to him. “Do you want to tell me why you haven’t claimed her? We all know something is going on. Hell, some of the brothers give you shit for it without actually spelling it out.”
Bedlam’s shoulders slumped, the defeat that was weighing on me, obviously doing the same to him. I felt lost, like I was spiraling and out of control without Heather as my tether.
Coming back into civilian life after the military was hard enough, but I found the Devil’s Saints and then Heather. Both gave me a reason to put one foot in front of the other, but it was our Cherub who motivated me the most. Because I wanted and needed to be a good man for her.
“We were waiting,” Gray’s voice sounded as hollow as I was feeling. “We want to all have our patches, if we earn them, before we claim her. It had to be all three of us or nothing. We wanted to make sure she was protected from the other angels and their bullshit and to make sure we had equal footing in our claim on her.”
Lucifer nodded slowly as he looked between us before he let out a heavy sigh. “That does make sense, but did you tell her your plan?”
My eyes slid closed, and pain shot through my entire body. No, we didn’t. Because we didn’t want to give her false promises. Just in case.
Just in case one of us didn’t earn our patch.
Just in case we couldn’t give her the stability we wanted.
Just in case we had to change our plans.
But we didn’t include her in any of them.
“I’m going to determine from your silence that you did not,” Lucifer’s voice sounded tired as fuck. “I tried to convince her to stay, but she was adamant. I don’t know what happened and I won’t speculate. I can tell you that you have my full support to talk with Hacker about tracking her down.”
We nodded and then shuffled out of the room after apologizing for storming into Lucifer’s office and demanding anything from him. He would have been within his rights as our leader to kick us out or kick our asses. I saw the understanding in his eyes though and he saw the pain in ours.
That’s one of the reasons he’s such a good Prez and has us willing to follow him into hellfire at the drop of a hat.
A week or so later Gray was patched in and as much as we tried to celebrate, it was difficult. The other angels were trying to crawl all over his dick. I thought for sure he was close to snapping the entire night. I’m not sure how he held it together, but he did.
He’d get this look of longing on his face and glance at the doors of the clubhouse throughout the night. I know he was hoping Heather would walk in and apologize for ghosting us and leaving us feeling so fucking empty.
She didn’t.
The morning after Gray was patched in as Viper, I got a text from Hacker to meet him in his office. I was instantly giddy, but also afraid to fucking hope. I wasn’t the only one who got the text because Viper and Bedlam were at his door as well.
We probably looked like one of those slapstick comedies as we tried to walk through the door at the same time in our eagerness to get any fucking information on our woman. Hacker chuckled under his breath, but stopped when we shot him glares and then pushed and shoved each other into his office.
I looked at the multiple monitors in his setup and instantly had a headache. But he looked pleased as fucking punch with himself which I took as a good sign.
There weren’t any office chairs to sit down in, so we all stood with our feet apart and our arms crossed across our chests, bracing for whatever he was going to tell us. I didn’t know if I could take another blow. Even though I also desperately needed to know our Cherub was okay and safe.
“Please tell us you found her,” I tried to smooth over the process considering Bedlam and Viper were about to lose their shit.
“I did,” Hacker nodded, his voice cautious. “She’s living in a small town in Tennessee. She just started a job. That’s how I found her.”
I wanted to sink to my knees, but I locked them instead. He was giving us facts, which was great and all, but I wanted to know what her life was looking like. I wanted to know how she was doing. I had a sinking feeling in my gut he wasn’t going to be able to tell me nearly enough details.
“She’s not trying to hide,” Bedlam mused.
“Nope,” Hacker popped the p. “She’s rented a house from a couple who ran her information for a standard background check, and she’s started working at a real estate office. I’ve forwarded you the details about the town and her address.”
Viper let out a heavy breath before looking between the two of us. I knew he was wondering the same thing I was—what now?
After thanking Hacker, we found a quiet corner and put our heads together. We had to come up with a plan. One that would have our woman back where she belongs at the end of it.
“I think we should go and get her right now,” Bedlam’s voice was insistent and on the edge of hysteria.
I wanted to sink into myself because while Bedlam and Viper had their place in the club, I still didn’t. I knew what it meant. When we explained ourselves to Lucifer, he never told us we were wrong about needing a patch to claim our woman or that our reasoning for waiting wasn’t sound. It was.
“No,” Viper’s voice held regret and uncertainty in it, “I think we should wait. We wanted to know that she’s safe and she is. That’s the most important part. If we go now, Zach can’t go with us, and we’ll be in the same place we were in when we couldn’t claim her as ours together.”
“I don’t want to be the one to hold you two back. You’re both patched in. Go and get our woman. Claim her,” I insisted, even as my soul felt like it was tearing in two.
Not being able to claim her at the table wasn’t going to make her any less mine. I knew it, but not being able to offer her the same security they could still stung. I hated it, but it was the right offer to make.
Bedlam sat back in his chair, his eyes studying me for a long time. He shook his head slowly. “We’ll ask Hacker to keep as much of an eye on her as he can, and we wait. She’s ours and we’ll claim her together. It was always the plan.”
Fuck, it felt amazing and horrible at the same time. I was holding them back, but I desperately wanted the three of us to be on the same footing. For her. Because anything less wouldn’t be enough for her.
“We should have told her,” Viper lamented, and I had to agree.
“Can’t change it now. All we can do is wait and then go and bring her home as soon as I get my cut.”
What I didn’t voice was the possibility that I wouldn’t earn my cut or it taking longer than a year of prospecting. I didn’t want to hang too much onto hope, but it was hard as fuck not to where Heather was concerned.
Now, the weight of my cut on my back feels good. It feels right. Yet, something is missing, and I know exactly what it is. We need to go and get our woman.
“Scope,” Prez’s voice holds pride, “now you’re our brother. We know you’ll wear your cut and patch with pride.”
The room is loud as fuck with everyone cheering in the middle of the common room. I am now, officially, part of the Devil’s Saints MC. I’m glad I found a place to belong because when I got out of the military, I wasn’t sure if I would.
“Considering how good of a shot you are, we’re definitely glad to have you on our side,” Prodigal gives me shit as he gives me a man hug before wrapping his arm back around his old lady, Wrenley.
When I see them together, it’s harder to keep a smile on my face. Not because he doesn’t deserve her at his side, but because I don’t have my woman with me. At least not yet.
Wrenley tilts her head to the side before giving me a hug and whispering, “Congratulations. All I need in life are more overprotective brothers.”
I bark out a laugh as Prodigal growls and leans into his wife’s ear to whisper something. I can only imagine what it is from the way she turns bright red and gives him a warning look.
It takes a lot of effort to hold myself in place all night instead of tearing out of the compound to get to our woman. The congratulations and joy on the faces of my brothers as they welcome me into the club makes staying a little easier. Not by much, but a little.
I throw back a few shots with some brothers, Viper and Bedlam sticking close to my side as I do. Since Heather left, we’ve gotten even closer. We always watched out for each other, but it’s something more borne from knowing how the other is feeling down to the deepest parts of us.
When Connie, one of the angels, slides up next to me, I almost snarl at her. She has no idea the way she bats her eyelashes at me isn’t sexy like she thinks it is. I miss Heather and how she managed to still be done up and look natural at the same time.
I miss the way my woman smells—like lavender and crisp air. I miss the way she would mold to my body. My arms ache to hold her, but I can’t right now and it’s killing me from the inside out.
“So, Scope,” Connie purrs and I clench my jaw to stop myself from grimacing, “how about I help you celebrate having your patch?”
“I’m not interested,” I tell her firmly. When she opens her mouth, I know she’s going to try and push me, but I’m on the edge of snapping and she doesn’t deserve my wrath. She has no idea there’s only one woman I could ever love. And now I’m free to claim her along with Bedlam and Viper. “Really, Connie,” I cut her off and make a sweeping motion toward the rest of the room, “there are plenty of brothers here who will take you up on the offer. I’m not one of them.”
Connie rolls her eyes and mutters something under her breath that I don’t care to catch. The only thing I care about is that she turns around and heads toward another brother. Frenzy is nursing a beer as he sits on one of the couches and welcomes her with open arms.
I look at Viper and then Bedlam who are still flanking me on either side. “It’s time to go and get our woman,” my voice doesn’t hold any room for argument.
“Fucking finally,” Viper mumbles.
Bedlam’s grin is wide as fuck, some of the guy he was before Heather pulled a runner peeking out. “Hell fucking yes it’s time to go and get our woman.”
I laugh, feeling lighter than I have in months. We aren’t sure how she’ll feel about seeing us again, but we won’t be taking no for an answer.
We own her, always have and always will. She’s ours.