Chapter 31
31
Tatum
“I missed what braising is,” I whisper to Natalie.
A spatula slaps the cutting board in front of me. “Zip it, Ms?” Chef Marcelles yells in an intense French accent from right behind me.
I turn around and say, “Devreux.”
“Ah. Oui. Oui. French. Tres magnifique.” He comes closer. “No talking in my class. Oui?”
“Oui?”
When I turn back to Natalie with wide eyes, she gets my drift without using words: he’s an asshole.
“That class was intense,” I say, “like Marcelle, and that was only the first one.”
“It was incredible, right?” Natalie cheerfully raves, hands in the air and all. “And who knew that brown butter was a secret weapon for the perfect short ribs? Not me.”
“I thought brown butter was just butter that’s cooked until brown?”
She laughs. “It is.” Staring down at the rest of her shopping list, she says, “I have a lot of shopping tomorrow for short ribs. I want to practice before Cookie and Corbin fly in next month for Juni and Andrew’s delivery. The guys have a bet going, and Nick’s going with the Fourth of July.”
“That’s too early. I’m feeling July eighteenth.”
“Really?” she asks as if I just told her she won a million dollars a week for life sweepstakes. “I told Nick the same date.”
“Great minds and all. Hey, before you take off, can I ask your advice?”
She adjusts her bag to the crook of her arm. “I’d be offended if you didn’t.”
“You know how Harrison and I are taking a little break?”
“Yes.” Of course, she does.
Harrison has flown back and forth a few times. I only know that because I’m told I can come over because the coast is clear.
Beyond that, I have no idea if he’s had to show anyone else properties in New York. I have no clue what he’s done in New York at all. I’ve felt blind about anything to do with him, and that just feels wrong.
My offer was accepted on the property next to Nat and Nick, but I’ve only spoken to Robert about that. He’s organized the various building inspections, and I’m about to sign a contract. That’s still a surprise to Natalie and Nick, though. Unless Harrison’s spilled the beans to Nick already. Wouldn’t Nat tell me if she knew, though? Once again, I have no idea, and I hate that it feels like they’re living a whole other life that I’m not privy to. I wonder if Harrison feels the same. I wonder if he asks about me when he’s here.
“I want to call him. It’s already been eleven days.” I look down at my watch. “Seventeen hours and some odd minutes, but the apartment’s not the same without him cooking or hogging the shower, taking up the side of the bed that I don’t use, and I’m always cold. He was a really great heater at night.”
“So what you’re saying is that you miss him?”
Sometimes it’s just best to cut to the chase. “I miss him, Nat. Does that make me sad that me missing him is the biggest revelation I’ve had since he’s been gone?”
“I think it’s a good thing, and quite honestly, exactly what he wants you to realize.” She touches my belly. I never mind when she does. I even get to touch her belly that’s just recently popped out a little. She basically looks like she ate a hoagie for lunch.
We move off to the side of the restaurant doors where they hold the cooking class. She goes on, “The question seemed simple, but it’s really complex. If you weren’t pregnant, would you want to be with him?” Yes. One hundred times, yes.
“I was doing that already. I was living that life and want it back. I want him back.”
“Then you have your answer.”
“I guess I do.” We hug goodbye and head in separate directions. It’s tempting to want the perfect setting to make confessions of the heart, but I don’t want to waste any time. So I call him.
The trill of a female laughing fills the line, and I hold the phone away from my face to double-check that I didn’t misdial. Nope. Harrison Decker is at the top of the screen. The voice says, “Hello?”
“Sorry, I got the wrong number.”
I end the call and look around. Leaning against the jagged rock of the refined restaurant, I go numb.
Well, I guess that answers the other part of my question —does he want me to call him as Nat suggested? To ask him to come back to me . . . Or was that his get-out-of-jail-free card?
He said he’d always be there for me. For us. He said he loved me. He said I was his future.
But just like my parents, other things are far more tempting. Far more . . . worth staying elsewhere for. And I got a good idea what sort of women he’s gravitated to in the past. Women who literally threw themselves at him. How could I trust him to be alone out there when I saw how he was hounded?
Eventually, most men would give in. Even a man like Harrison, who I thought was one of the good ones. Turns out, he was quick to hang up on me, and it seems, quick to replace me.
I place a hand on my middle. I’ve been such a fool for thinking he wanted me to figure out the meaning of life and come running. It worked too, but no more. “It’s okay, baby. We have each other now. We don’t need anyone.”
I push off the building and get in a cab.
There will be no calls or texts, spending all day pining and the nights crying from his absence. Harrison Decker can go to hell for all I care.
If I mean that little to him . . . tears overflow the barriers of my lower lids, but I’m quick to wipe them away. I can’t believe I’m crying over a man.
Never again.
~ Harrison ~
“It’s so good to see you,” Cookie says, welcoming me in. She leads me to the kitchen where the smell of blueberry muffins causes my stomach to growl. “Help yourself.”
She pours a glass of milk, and it reminds me of stopping by after school to do homework and play video games with Nick.
“I wanted to get your advice.”
“On Tatum?”
“How’d you know?”
She shrugs and gazes out the window. When she turns back, she says, “I remember both of my sons being in a similar state over Juni and Natalie. “What do you want to know, Harrison? I’ll help you the best I can.”
“I’m not sure what happened. She lets her fear of getting hurt protect her from ever receiving love.”
Nodding, she then takes a sip of iced tea. She doesn’t rush her response, taking her time to mull it over. “That is a tough one. She’s hard on herself, and to protect her heart, she builds walls around it. How close am I?”
“Very.”
She grins.
“How do I get through to her that I won’t hurt her?” I ask.
“You don’t, silly. No one makes that promise to everyone and can keep it. The problem lies in the woman herself. Tatum made that promise to herself. The key is to get her to unlock a door and let you in.”
“You’re probably right.” I eat a muffin because how do I not when they look and smell amazing.
“I’m always right. Did you confirm her birthday? It’s in June, correct?”
“How’d you know that?”
“Because you’re an Aries and the most complementary sign is Gemini. Leave it to destiny to cause a ruckus between you two. We’re also in retrograde, but I don’t like to tempt fate by focusing on that too much.”
I wash the muffin down. She asks, “What are you doing wasting time here anyway? I have a feeling you both need to lower your walls and enjoy what’s inside.”
She’s right. It’s not great revelation stuff. “Boiling it down, we need to stop being asses to each other.”
“That sounds like a good start.”
I go around the island to embrace her. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Walking back to my car, I start to mumble because she makes a whole lot of sense without saying much.
There are two things that are true:
There’s no winning Tatum’s heart until she takes the walls down. It’s a losing battle otherwise.
She’s doing the best she can. So am I. I hope we can meet in the middle from here on out.
Will she come around? I want her in my life. She’s my future. They are my future.
She rang when I was with Madison, but then hung up. And hasn’t called since. She still isn’t ready.
What if waiting isn’t enough?
~ Tatum - July ~
My office door opens, and Natalie twirls in. “I need a favor.”
I set my pen down on the pink pad and say, “Go on . . .”
“I have a client who wants a whirlwind weekend with his girlfriend, soon-to-be fiancée if all things go as planned.”
“My favorite.”
“You know why that is? Because you’re a romantic.”
“No, Natalie. I’m a professional event architect. Instead of going down memory lane, talk to me. Give me the W’s.”
“The sweetest couple ever. Surprise proposal. This Saturday. Catalina. Because they love each other.”
Dropping my head to the side, I ask, “Catalina?”
“Come on. Don’t poo-poo the idea. It’s a very romantic location.”
I give her that. But that doesn’t make it easier. Memories of my time with Harrison are always swimming around in my head. This only makes it worse. “Anyway, I have it all set up. I just have to fly out there and make sure it goes off without a hitch.”
“So, what’s the favor?”
She only has to look at me before I’m shaking my head. “No. No. No. No. No. Natalie. Not this one. Not this time.”
“Please? Nick and I have to go to Juni’s candle lighting ceremony on Saturday.”
“What the hell is that?”
“It apparently shows the baby the way out.”
I cover my mouth. It was that or gasp, so I let that confusion we’re all feeling go. “What? Nooo.”
“Yes. And since we said we’ll be at the birthing center with her, we had to say yes to the candle ceremony. Juni wanted me to give you your invitation.”
She holds it out for me. “When do I fly out?”
* * *
It’s been a month since I’ve spoken to Harrison, and every landmark we pass reminds me of a certain someone. When I arrive at the hotel on Catalina, my heart’s racing, a little sweat’s gathering under the collar, and I’m feeling sick at the scene of my crime of passion. I’d forgotten how gorgeous this place is.
I’m told to settle in, so I grab my case and head across the lobby to find a chair.
Sitting there minding my own business, a woman next to me says, “Is it illegal to pick poppies since it’s the state flower?”
“I don’t think so. I actually got them as a gift once.” My heart clenches around the absence that’s felt. “It was actually really sweet. He traveled all the way from California with them. They were raggedy with missing petals. Bent and broken. Still so romantic.”
“That does sound sweet. I’m trying to help my brother, actually. He wants to surprise his girlfriend.”
“That’s what I’m here for too. Well, not your brother. That would be weird, but a surprise proposal.”
“If you knew him, it wouldn’t be weird. He’s an amazing man and even better brother.”
I sit back, realizing she’s going to talk about him whether I’m a part of the conversation or she’s sitting alone. It’s endearing to hear how close they are, though.
“You sound very close. That’s sweet.”
“We are. He was the first one I called when I was in a car accident a few years back. He didn’t leave my hotel room unless we forced him out shopping.”
I close the small pad on my lap and drop it and the pen in my bag so I can give her my full attention.
“My daughter spent her first birthday in the hospital. All due to my psycho ex,” she says.
“What happened?”
“He threatened to hurt me if I didn’t get in the car. He was saying he just wanted to talk, but I shouldn’t have trusted him. I was just trying to do the right thing since Harlow’s his daughter.”
My tummy clenches. “You got in the car?”
“My brothers had warned me, but I didn’t listen.” Her eyes go to the screensaver on her phone—the cutest little dark-haired beauty. She glances at me, the emotion raw on her face as if this is a fresh memory.
“How is she doing now?”
“She’s amazing. Doesn’t remember anything, but it’s better that way. He crashed us right into a tree. He died instantly. I only survived because of my family.”
I glance back at the photo again. She has the prettiest blue eyes, and I’m reminded of . . . don’t go there . “Sounds like you got one of the good ones.”
A hotel attendant comes up to her and hands her a card key. “Ms. Decker, your room is ready.”
“Decker?” I say unable to keep my mouth shut. “I know a Harrison Decker.” I’m mastering the art of sounding like a crazy person.
Jumping to her feet, she says, “That’s my brother. Well, one of them. I have three. Wow, crazy small world.” The smile falters, and she says, “You’re Tatum.”
I stand and nod. Now I’m not sure what to say or do. My gut tells me to run, but my heart tells me to stay.
“He told me all about you,” she says, and then laughs lightly as if recalling a fond memory. “I remember him saying your soul was golden the first time he met you. That was when we were in the hospital.”
“What do you mean?”
“Talk about timing. Harry came off the best weekend of his life, and the minute the ferry docked, I called him. He spent the next three months nursing me back to health while sleeping night after night in Harlow’s hospital room. You were all he talked about. The days became weeks, and those became months.” She reaches to touch my hand wrapped around my suitcase handle. “I feel like I owe you an apology.”
“You don’t.”
“I took away his soul mate, so yeah, a lot of guilt is carried with that.”
“But we found our way back to each other,” I say without a second thought. That just rolled off my tongue so naturally.
She smiles. “He feels the same—two souls that are forever connected.” Turning to look around, she returns her gaze to mine, and she says, “It’s not too late.” I have no idea why his sister thinks that. Harrison has made it pretty clear. He wants to surprise his girlfriend. And now, he’s here to start a new life with someone else. Why does his sister think it’s not too late? It’s almost so cruel being here now. Knowing that he has moved on. Has fallen in love with someone else.
We’ve bonded on some level, two strangers who were there for each other, so I feel a hug is in order. We embrace each other, and I whisper, “I would have done anything for your brother.”
“Then let him be a part of your life.” That ship has sailed. Or has it? What did she mean suggesting that he still cares about me . . . two souls that are forever connected ? Have I got my wires crossed? Is she here for another brother? If so, maybe what I should have said was, “I would do anything for your brother.” Present tense. Because I still love him. Want him.
When she leaves, I decide right then and there that we’ve had too many signs. That man is my soul mate, and I can’t let him get away.
But first, I need to handle this surprise proposal.