Chapter 29
Newton
I”m no stranger to not sleeping. I think I could function on a couple hours of sleep a night for months at a time, but this morning it”s hitting me worse than it ever has.
I knew telling her how I felt was a huge risk. It was a gamble I took thinking that the tables were tilted in my favor.
I was so wrong.
I know she lashed out last night because she”s scared. Today is a huge day for her, something she has dreaded probably since the day she took off from here over a year ago.
God, I knew better. Why did I open my big fucking mouth? It isn”t about me right now.
I added pressure to an already stressful time.
”It”s all yours,” Hemlock says, his voice always sounding like a growl of anger.
Steam follows him from the bathroom, and I can imagine that every surface in there is fucking damp. It wouldn”t be an issue for me if I were sharing a room with Brielle, but it seems a little gag-inducing to go into the hot and damp bathroom after someone else. It”s too intimate.
”We have an hour before we have to leave. Get your shit together.”
”My shit is together,” I snap.
”Sure it is,” he says with his back to me.
My lip twitches in irritation as I stand, and he freezes when I take a step closer to him rather than grabbing my shit out of my suitcase and heading into the bathroom.
”We can go if you want to,” Hemlock warns. ”But I”m not going to fucking hold back.”
I”ve seen what the man is capable of, and even though I”m looking for a fight, I know he won”t stop until I”m required to eat out of a fucking straw.
He doesn”t taunt me for backing down when I grab my things and head to the bathroom.
Fighting a teammate would be stupid, and it”s something I”m well aware of but I just have this insane urge to fucking hit something. I want to scream and yell, go back in time, and take those words back. I want to change the trajectory of my life.
The way she looked at me last night like I was a stain on the bottom of her shoe was a defense mechanism, wasn”t it?
It”s not possible that she was pretending this entire time. I would”ve known if that were the case.
By the time I get done with my shower, Kincaid is in the living room part of the four-bedroom suite speaking with Hemlock.
”You need your vest,” Kincaid says to me, looking over Hemlock”s shoulder as I enter the room.
”I”ll grab mine also,” Hemlock says.
”That won”t be necessary,” Kincaid informs him. ”ICE doesn”t want you out in public.”
Hemlock nods as if he figured that was going to happen at some point.
My head is full of all sorts of clapbacks as I walk back into the bedroom I had to share with the grizzly bear last night to grab my vest. I knew I needed to wear the damn thing, but I figured, why not skip it. It”s not like a bullet to the gut would cause any more pain than I already feel.
After removing the mic from my ear, I pull off my suit jacket and button-down shirt and slip my lightweight bulletproof vest over my t-shirt, grateful that Kincaid isn”t a cheap ass. Our gear is top-notch, the best in the business, making this vest less bulky and more comfortable than any other brand.
After putting my shirt and jacket back on, and reinserting my earpiece, I head back into the living room, hoping that Brielle will have changed her mind overnight and run into my arms when she comes out of her room.
My breath hitches when I enter the room to see her exiting her bedroom. The makeup she”s wearing is foreign to me. She hasn”t used anything other than Chapstick since I took her to the clubhouse.
She”s beautiful no matter what, she”s just a different kind of beauty right now.
She looks around the room as she runs her scarf through her hands, but she makes a point to not bother looking in my direction.
She holds her head high, and if I didn”t know her as I do, I”d never be able to imagine her huddled in a closet begging me not to hurt her.
Right now she”s a force to be reckoned with. She”s strong and full of fire. This woman is ready to take on the world or slay a dragon.
God, I love her and to think for a second that I”d want to stop is insane.
Kincaid says something to her, and she nods in a businesslike way, standing so proud and sure for a moment I have to wonder if this is the real her. Maybe she was playing pretend back in New Mexico.
Then I see the flash of the blue gemstone at her throat when she wraps her scarf around her neck. If she hated me, if she wanted me out of her life, if she was the evil woman just toying with my emotions like she claimed last night in order to get me to leave the room, she wouldn’t be wearing it. At least that’s what I choose to believe.
I have to keep the hope that eventually she’s going to find her way back to me.
She may not be ready to be loved, but I can do it silently. I can show her a million ways how I feel if it’s the use of the words that bother her so much.
If anyone has the ability to understand what being unlovable feels like, then I’m that person. When you’re born to a woman who’d choose a needle filled with heroin over the son she”s supposed to protect, it doesn”t exactly build the most trust in that emotion, but my adoptive mother proved that I was worthy, and I can be that person for her.
”She”s requested that you don”t come along,” Kincaid says as he approaches me.
”I--”
”I told her that we need you, but you”ll stay out front of her,” Kincaid explains.
I grind my teeth. ”Since when does the client get to dictate what we do?”
Being in front of her and not being able to check on her well-being will be fucking torture for me and Kincaid has to know that.
”We”re here to protect but also to make sure she”s comfortable,” Kincaid says. ”Will there be a problem? Do I need to move someone else into your position?”
I pull in a deep breath, not bothering to look in her direction because she”s made it very clear that she wants nothing to do with me right now.
”No, sir,” I say.
”I can”t have you distracted.”
”I know what”s at risk, and I will never put her in danger.”
He nods before walking back across the room, and when Tug and Jinx enter the living room from the hallway, I know it”s time to move. We”re on the fifth floor, but we”ll have people stationed on every floor despite having a keycard that keeps the elevator from stopping on other floors.
To some, it may seem like we”re being extra or doing more than we should, but Nathan Adair has somehow managed to thwart every single case any organization has tried to build against him. The number of people who have disappeared is almost as many as those who have suddenly committed suicide or were involved in one-person fatal accidents.
We have reason to believe he”ll try it here today as well.
I take the elevator down to the ground floor with Jinx and we stand to the sides as we send it back up to Kincaid and the others.
We”re leaving early enough that the hotel lobby isn”t very busy, but we”re heading right into the Christmas holidays, and by the time we come back this afternoon, we”ll have a different plan to help account for the influx of people here.
When the elevator doors open, Kincaid and Shadow step off in front of Brielle, and I can only imagine what it looks like to anyone watching.
I hate the sound of phones being pulled out and camera clicks. More than likely these people have no idea who she is, but they don”t want to miss a chance at a celebrity sighting. They can do the research later to discover that rather than being a pop princess or someone in the entertainment industry, she”s the stepdaughter of a vile man.
Every criminal in a hundred-mile radius will consider her a snitch. They won”t even know and could possibly hate Nathan Adair, but anyone who has ever done something outside of the law will want to hurt her. It makes me hate the entire world right now.
A man walks up, and I know from the look of him that he”s a fucking tourist, but when he steps in my path, phone up in front of his face to snap a picture, I shove him out of the way with more force than necessary.
He grumbles as he has to chase after his phone as it spins on the floor away from him.
”Asshole,” I grumble, knowing everyone can hear me because of our connected mics.
Being in front also means I don”t get to ride in the same SUV with her, and it kills me.
I nod at Deacon Black, owner of Blackbridge Security, as he and several of his men stand beside the row of dark SUVs.
Only half of Cerberus came to Ohio. The other half is back in New Mexico protecting the clubhouse where Kincaid ordered everyone to stay until we got back. I know it isn”t the first time that this has happened, but knowing we”re protecting Brielle from someone who has a history of going after families makes my skin crawl. It also makes me proud to be a part of this organization because a lot of people would”ve weighed their pros and cons and backed out. Kincaid isn”t the type of man that will leave someone without help, but he”s also responsible for so many people, I can”t imagine it was an easy decision for him.
We don”t pull away from the curb until Brielle is settled in the SUV that”s two back from the one I”m in. City police escort us from the hotel and I know they were ordered to do so by the state”s attorney, but their presence doesn”t exactly fill me with confidence in our safety.
Brielle mentioned that coming back here would be a mistake. She said that Nathan had so many people on his payroll, but when Kincaid asked her directly for those names, she provided nothing. Nathan is so good with how he handles business even Wren with Blackbridge wasn”t able to find anything that connected the crime lord with specific people in the police department.
When this trip was planned, I fully expected to be right by her side when she spoke to the state”s attorney, but I know now that isn”t going to happen. I”ll work in whatever capacity I need to in order to keep her safe, but it still grinds my gears to watch her disappear into the prosecutor”s office, leaving me standing outside.
She hasn”t had a single conversation with the people inside since she came to the clubhouse, and from the lack of effort put into today on their part, it makes me wonder just how easily all of this is going to fucking fall apart. It”s my girl”s life they”re fucking with and that makes me want to beat some fucking sense into every single one of them.