Chapter 37
Newton
I do my best not to look directly at her.
It”s been two weeks since we returned to New Mexico, and I feel like I”m watching her too closely. I know it”s going to annoy the shit out of her eventually, but I just can”t seem to help myself.
”And how does it make you feel?”
”Being here?” Brielle says, drawing in a deep breath before answering Dr. Alverez. ”I can”t help but think we”re doomed if we”re already in couples therapy.”
I roll my lips between my teeth to keep from smiling when Dr. Alverez flinches because, I, more than most, understand her dark humor. I think it”s a trait that most people who have suffered trauma end up with. We can joke about darkness and the macabre because we”ve seen so much worse.
”As I explained, we can meet separately. This doesn”t have to be viewed as a couple”s session.”
Brielle squeezes my hand, the only answer any of us needs to the question. It quiets that part of me that has been fearful since I scooped her up and put her in the SUV in Ohio. I”ve done my best to ignore the voice that whispers on occasion that she”s going to push me away. History has proven she can do it, but she hasn”t faltered since returning to Farmington.
She didn”t return to the closet, but as much progress as she has made, she still looked uneasy when we left the clubhouse today for this appointment.
”This is fine,” Brielle answers. ”I”m fine with being here, mostly.”
”Explain mostly,” Dr. Alverez urges.
”Without going into too much detail, my life is in danger, and my fear is more about leaving the clubhouse than attending therapy. So in other words it”s me, not you,” Brielle says, a hint of humor in her voice.
”I”m working to clear my schedule starting next week,” Dr. Alverez says. ”This will be the only session you”ll have to travel to. All others can be at the clubhouse if that”s what you prefer. I”ll block off two days a week for sessions with Cerberus.”
Brielle shifts in her seat before turning her eyes toward me.
”I told you. We all meet with Dr. Alverez.”
She argued that it wasn”t normal to confess your sins to a stranger when I suggested that we meet with the good doctor. She hasn”t curled back into the closet, but her nightmares are showing no sign of fading, and it concerns me.
”It”s my understanding that you”re having nightmares,” Dr. Alverez prods.
I know that Brielle completed the intake forms, and although I urged her to be completely honest, I didn”t know how much information she was going to disclose. I give her hand a little squeeze, grateful that she seems willing to see if this actually helps her.
”They”re about my stepfather,” Brielle explains. ”And fear. They”re all about fear.”
”He traumatized you, so it”s expected,” Dr. Alverez says in the same compassionate way she does with me when I talk about my childhood and how my mother”s neglect still affects certain aspects of my life to this day.
Dr. Alverez talks her through some breathing techniques as I let myself sink right back down into the darkness Nathan created in me by association with Brielle.
He is in the wind. After the team that was following him through Columbus lost him in traffic, he vanished. He hasn”t been spotted anywhere. He missed a court date here earlier this week, so that means a warrant has been issued for his arrest, but a piece of paper doesn”t build confidence in anyone that he won”t eventually pop up again.
Wren has been keeping the facial recognition running nonstop in case he ends up at an airport, bus station, or if he ever catches a cab in any of the major cities in the United States.
There”s been nothing.
The two men that he had with him when he left the house that night were found with bullet holes in their heads right outside of Pittsburgh. It has been speculated that he either went north from there and took refuge in Canada, or he headed further east and ended up in New York City. It”s all speculation because it”s as if the man turned to mist and disappeared, a serious feat in these modern days of technology.
It”s also very possible that he”s holed up with a new group of goons right in the middle of Farmington. He”ll always have an endless list of people willing to help him because money talks as it always has.
If we”re lucky, he”ll go dark and we”ll never have to worry about him again, but there isn”t a person at the clubhouse or on Cerberus property that would ever be foolish enough to get lazy with those thoughts.
”Is there anything you”d like to add, Beck?” Dr. Alverez asks, pulling me back into the room.
”Nothing I can think of,” I answer.
There”s nothing I”d like more than to take her to lunch when we leave the office, but it”s not possible.
I fully understand that the luxury of being spontaneous is long past.
”Ready?” Oracle asks as we step outside.
I give him a nod, and the other Cerberus members who came here with us today mobilize.
I know better than to overestimate my ability to keep her safe on my own. When Nathan comes for her, he isn”t simply going to step up on the front porch of the clubhouse, knock on the door, and ask nicely. He”s going to come with force.
Hell, with the changes being made around the property, the man would either have to shoot a missile at the building or tunnel a hole from a mile back.
I fully expected Kincaid to ask Brielle to stay at a different location, even though I”m sure every person connected to Cerberus has been added to Nathan”s shit list.
Instead of demanding she not return to New Mexico, she was welcomed with open arms.
Kincaid managed to buy the land around the Cerberus property over a mile in every direction, including the road that runs through the middle of it. Before we made it back, construction on the fencing had already started.
With Wren”s help and expertise, the perimeter will be fit with the latest technology so we”ll know if anyone tries to enter the property.
Cerberus doesn”t have the power to keep things from flying over the property yet, but I know my boss is working diligently to get the dispensation.
We”re waved through the gate on the road when we approach. The gates were the first things built on either end of the road, and the property can now only be accessed through the rough terrain until the walls are complete. There are patrols happening twenty-four-seven, and I haven”t caught one single complaint from the others.
There have always been whispers about Cerberus being some sort of cult, and it was always argued when someone would call the property a compound, the word carrying with it a negative connotation. We can no longer argue those opinions.
Every person connected to Cerberus has been urged to the property, and surprisingly, no one has put up much of a fight. The only person not present is Kid”s son Landon who is currently on active duty in the Marine Corps, but I heard in less than a year and a half, he”ll be back as a member of Cerberus. He joined to fulfill the requirement to follow in his father”s footsteps. Rick, Landon”s husband, is staying in Landon’s childhood room with Khloe and Kid.
Although we”ve stood against worse men than Nathan Adair, he might be the first willing to risk his life and freedom to get what he wants. Most criminals are after money, and revenge usually comes after.
When Brielle squeezes my hand, I realize I missed most of the ride back to the clubhouse. I turn to look at her, giving her an easy smile.
”Thank you for encouraging me to go today,” she says, comfortable enough around Oracle driving the SUV that she doesn”t worry about speaking out loud around him.
”Therapy isn”t a miracle drug, but it has helped me a lot.”
She dips her head in acknowledgment. It took me over a week of asking before she finally agreed, and even though she easily got in the SUV to head to the office, it took thirty minutes to convince her to get out and go inside. We”re both works in progress.
I climb out of the vehicle and offer her a hand. She takes it easily, allowing me to pull her against my chest and press my lips to the top of her head before we make our way inside the clubhouse.
I assume she”s going to want to go back to the bedroom and take a few minutes to unwind, but instead of turning left to go down the hallway, she makes a right and walks into the kitchen.
I have no clue what”s going to happen when she walks right up to Beth.