Chapter Forty-Two
Beau
Iwasn’t sure what I was about to walk into.
But when my sister texted me and told me that Dean was in a really bad place, I made the decision to come talk to him earlier than expected.
I had gotten into Canfield yesterday, flying in with Sam, and thought maybe I could find Dean before the wedding.
Tell him what an asshole I had been. How sorry I was, and that I loved him.
Somehow, the decision was made for me, and I couldn’t have been more grateful.
At least Dean was smiling right now. Laughing as he had breakfast with his bandmates.
He looked happy. Not depressed or sad like Sam had said in her text, but then again, he might be pretending so his friends didn’t notice.
He was stunning, with his green hair piled on top of his head and wearing a faded t-shirt that clung to his lean frame.
I took a deep breath, stepped inside and headed toward their table, catching the end of their conversation.
“Maybe she could cut mine for me. I don’t like it this long anymore.” Dean’s voice was barely a whisper as he spoke. “He did, though. He liked it long, which is why I was growing it out, but I don’t think—”
Over my dead body. “Don’t cut it. This look suits you.”
Eight pairs of eyes turned to stare at me, and Killian looked like he was ready to commit murder. Yikes, I guess he knew what I had done.
“Dean.” I itched to hold him. Kiss him and tell him how I felt. “Can I talk to you a minute?”
For a brief second, I thought he was going to say no.
“I’ll be fine, Kill. Put your knives away,” Dean assured his best friends as he climbed to his feet. He didn’t say a word as he followed me outside. “Make it quick. My friends and family are waiting.” His nostrils flared as he stared at me with anger in his eyes.
Ouch. “I deserve that,” I told him.
“You don’t deserve anything from me,” Dean hissed, and I saw the red in his eyes. His pinched and exhaustion that he carried. I had done that to him. Again. “What you did... You lied to me. But then, I was the stupid one who believed you. Fool me once, right?”
I shook my head. “I’m so sorry, Pink. I never.... I don’t know how to get you to believe me.”
“How about you tell me the truth?” he suggested.
“I got scared.”
“That’s bullshit.”
I grimaced. “What if something happened to you? What if we fell in love, got married, and you died? I don’t want to be alone again, Dean.
It happened once before. Trish and I were supposed to grow old together.
We were supposed to raise Cole together.
And then she was just...gone.” I reached up to cup his cheek with the palm of my hand, terrified that he would push me away.
When he took a step back, my stomach clenched, but then Dean lunged forward and wrapped his arms around me.
Relief flooded my system as I held him and closed my eyes.
I didn’t want to let him go. Not ever. He felt perfect like this.
“I’m still so fucking mad, and you’re going to have to earn my trust again, but you can’t live life like that, Beau.
” Dean pulled back, and my eyes popped back open.
“I’m healthy. I just had a checkup a few months ago, and everything was fine.
You don’t have to worry about me. I’m in the prime of my life. ”
My heart stuttered at the sight of him. Dean was so damn beautiful. Those emerald-green eyes and that hair. And that smile. Fuck, I had missed him. I wanted to kiss him right here. But I couldn’t. Not until he was ready, and not until he told me he wanted me back.
“Does that mean you still want to be with me?” Hope lingered despite the hurtful words he had thrown at me.
“Do you want to be with me? Because I didn’t ghost—”
I stopped him with a kiss. I didn’t care anymore.
Let the whole damn world know how I felt about Dean Frost. I crushed our mouths together and took what I wanted.
His hands came up and tangled in the front of my shirt as his tongue tangled with mine.
He tasted sweet, like the maple syrup from his pancakes, and I groaned as he nipped playfully at my bottom lip.
“I never stopped wanting you, Pink,” I whispered.
“And I still want to be with you. I was wrong to ghost you the way I did. I don’t expect you to forgive me overnight or tomorrow.
But I promise to spend the rest of my life making it up to you.
I’m so sorry.” I tucked a piece of green hair behind his ear.
Dean’s mouth dropped open. “The rest... Really?”
“Yeah, Pink baby, really,” I assured him.
He blushed and ducked his head. “Want to get out of here?” He gave me a shy smile.
“What about your friends?” I glanced over to find them all gawking at us.
Dean shrugged. “They’ll be fine. I’ll text them to let them know I’m leaving with you. This doesn’t mean I’m not still mad at you.” He reached for my hand and laced our fingers together.
“I know. You have every right to be.” I assured him.
DEAN KEPT A SMILE ON his face as we drove through his small town and his hand on my thigh while mine were safely on the steering wheel. He pointed out landmarks from time to time, told me happy memories about growing up in Canfield, and chatted about what it was like growing up here.
“Where’s your parents’ place?” I asked.
The smile dropped from his face. Dean sighed and the warmth of his palm on my leg disappeared as he folded his arm over his chest again. “I’m not taking you there.”
“Pink, I didn’t mean to upset you.” I was curious about the house that raised the Frost brothers. And maybe Dean’s parents were gone. It had been a while since he had returned home. Anything could have happened since then.
Dean sniffed softly. “I know.” He quickly wiped his cheek. “I want to show you the good memories, Beau, not the bad ones.”
I slowed the car and pulled into a busy parking lot. “Before you left Boston, I had planned on asking you to move in with me.”
“What?” Dean turned to stare at me. “Why are you telling me this now?” His eyes were wide with surprise.
I twisted my body to face him. “Because I still want you to do that. Cole and I both want that. When you’re ready, when you feel that I’ve earned your trust again. The offer won’t expire.”
“Beau,” he whispered. Tears shimmered in his eyes. “I can’t believe you just ignored me for weeks.”
My throat grew tight. “I’m so sorry. It was wrong. I know I hurt you.”
“Hurt me!” he exclaimed. “You have no idea. Just because I’m sitting in this car with you, showing you where I grew up and touching you, doesn’t mean I forgot about what I went through these past few weeks.
I hardly slept or ate. I had to watch my friends with their significant others, wondering what I did wrong and why I couldn’t have that.
My heart felt like it was ripped out of my chest.”
Dean’s chest moved as he tried to catch his breath.
“I deserve better than that. I’m a good person.
I want what they have. I want love and forever with someone, too.
I know in the beginning we said that it was just for fun, but somewhere along the way, that changed for me.
A simple answer would have been enough, only you just ignored me like what we had meant nothing to you.
And worst of all, I was terrified about you showing up with someone else. Someone you picked over me.”
Dean burst into tears and buried his face in his hands, angry sobs wracking his body. When I reached for him, he pushed me away.
“Pink, baby, please,” I murmured. “I’m so, so, sorry.
I didn’t mean to hurt you. I thought of you every single day we were apart.
I stared at your picture and thought about your sweet face.
The sheets smelled like you. I didn’t want to wash them because that would mean you were really gone.
I don’t deserve another chance with you, but if you give me one, I promise that I will never hurt you again.
I want to see where this is going with us.
I want us to be a couple. I want you by my side.
I want you to live with Cole and me. Please, Pink, I’m so fucking sorry. ”
“Did you wash your sheets?” Dean asked.
I nodded. “Once your smell was gone.”
“I could come back and make them smell like me again.” His voice cracked, and I saw fresh tears swimming in his green orbs. “I just... I can’t go through that again.”
I reached for him again, and this time, he didn’t push away. I dragged my thumb over his pulse and felt his body shiver. “You won’t.”
“Do you promise?” Dean stared at me. “Because I can see what our life would be like. In Boston. I like it there. I miss you, and I miss Cole, and I would be closer to Maverick, too.”
I laced our fingers together and tugged on his hand until he moved closer. Then I dropped his hand, cupped Dean’s face with my hands, and slid my lips over his. “I promise that I will spend the rest of my life making you happy, Dean Frost. And that I will never hurt you again.”