Chapter 22
Seraphim
Tears. There were fucking tears in her eyes when I left. I shouldn’t have cared. If it was anyone else, I wouldn’t, but this connection was trying to kill me. It didn’t help that I thought Sam was a good person, despite her moral failings. I wasn’t one to talk.
Dropping to the ground, I let out a fierce yell. It wasn’t enough, though. I swung at a tree, putting my fist through the trunk. The splinters in my skin were barely noticeable through my rage.
Was it rage? Desperation may have been a better term.
Burn. That was what I wanted to do right now, so I dropped to my knees and flattened my palms on the ground. Fire spread outward, igniting the grass, followed by the smaller plants. It began to climb the trees, eating as it went. As it killed, it grew stronger. Death was the fuel that fed this monster and so long as it had more to devour, it would continue its path.
But it didn’t. I felt it diminish, something forcing it out of existence.
I scanned the area quickly, checking the visible branches for a glimpse of red. There was a faint sound behind me, then I felt her. Her breath brushed over my neck as she leaned forward.
“Boo.”
“You didn’t catch me off guard,” I said dryly.
“Well, too bad. I’m still claiming it.”
“You’re insufferable, just like your mate.”
“I don’t know. I think you sort of like me.”
“Absolutely not.”
“You were a lot more bubbly when you used to accost me in my room.”
“That was before you went and made my life more of a hellscape than it already was.”
“Hm. Maybe you need to get laid. From experience, I can tell you that it helps with the moodiness quite a bit, although I did pull a whole poltergeist thing the other day.”
God, she was probably going to keep rambling until I paid attention to her. In fifty years, when the rest of her morality was gone, she and Lock would be incredibly similar.
“What do you want, Sam?”
“I want…” she trailed off, the ground crunching behind me. “To see what’s inside this head.”
Her fingers touched either side of my head, immediately igniting that heat between us. My automatic response was to open up a channel, allowing us to funnel what we needed between each other. Shutting it quickly, I moved away from her, breaking the contact.
“Don’t touch me again,” I warned.
“We’ve been touching the past few days. You let me feed from you.”
“You needed it.”
“Yeah, about that.” She stepped toward me and I swallowed as I watched her approach. “You didn’t change your mind about killing me.”
“Yes, I did. Clearly, you’re not dead and I’m teaching you how to protect yourself.”
“Yeah, but Lock is right. You’re up to something. You can hide the details from me, but I feel it, Raf.”
“You don’t know what you feel or how any of this works.”
“Then teach me,” she implored.
“That’s what I’m doing.”
“If you were all in, you’d be giving me more than vague bits and pieces. I need you to be all in.”
“I can’t give you what you want.”
“Ah, so you do have ulterior motives.”
Putting a hand over my eyes, I let out a dry laugh. Somehow, I was being pulled in two directions while simultaneously being crushed from both sides.
“Let me try to help,” she said softly.
“You can’t help, nor do I want you to try.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“Which part?”
“Both. We’re meant for this, Raf. I don’t understand why you don’t want it.”
“I never said I don’t want it.”
“Then why are you being so goddamn stubborn?”
“Drop it.”
“Tell me.”
“Because of this!”
I grabbed her hand and held it to the side of my head. Her brow furrowed, then her head cocked. Something about this was oddly comforting, like sleeping soundly after seemingly endless nightmares. My body and hers were in harmony, both seeking to ensure that the other was whole.
One of us wasn’t, though, and she seemed to feel it. Instead of pulling from me like she had in the past, she was giving me some of herself. That was the comfort that I felt.
“No,” I said, pushing her away. “Stop doing that.”
“Why?”
“You can’t. It’s dangerous.”
“What’s in your head, Raf?”
“She is in my head and if she senses your energy, we’re all fucked. Don’t you get it?”
“No, I don’t get it because you won’t explain.”
“I can’t.”
“Stop saying that!”
“Then believe me.”
“Are you going to kill me?”
“Sam…”
“Just answer the question. If that’s your intention and this is some sort of long game, let’s just cut it short. Kill me.”
“Excuse me?” I eyed her as she threw her arms wide and dropped to her knees.
“Come on. This is your second chance. I won’t even fight you, but this time you don’t get to pity me.”
“I didn’t pity you.”
“Well, there’s no point putting it off.”
“I don’t want to do that,” I muttered, pacing one way, then the other.
“Is the plan to kill me?”
“Yes,” I admitted.
She huffed. “First of all, you’re a dick. Second, you’re an idiot.”
“How do you figure?”
She got to her feet, quickly advancing on me. Her palm flattened against my chest and I backed up. When I hit a tree, I considered shifting, but she was trying to calm me again and it was muddling my thoughts. I was always on alert, never letting my guard down. Now, she was screwing with my head and I needed to run.
“The smartest move would have been to kill me in that alley,” she began. “You had the perfect chance.”
“Lock was supposed to be dead.”
“Regardless, I told you I’d come for you and you should’ve known I was serious about that. Then, you had a chance just after I turned, but you helped me. Do you see how ridiculous that is?”
“Sure.”
“You had multiple opportunities after that. Honestly, if you just let me keep freaking out, I probably would’ve killed myself and everyone in the tower with my haywire magic. Yet, you continued to help me. Lock told me about your little stalker spot and your Oreos.”
“Why haven’t I killed him again?”
“Then,” she said as if I hadn’t spoken. “You had your hand in my chest, yet you went out of your way to save me from myself. Now, you’re trying to play the long game. It’s laughable, honestly. Pointless.”
I wanted to argue, but what was I going to say? She was right on all accounts. I was weak, making everything more complicated every step of the way, even in Colorado.
“You won’t be able to do it.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “Yes, I will.”
“Then do it.”
Pressing my fingers against her chest, I started to pierce her skin with my nails. All I needed to do was get some momentum and thrust my hand through her ribcage. It was so easy. I’d done it countless times.
It was easy.
It was fucking easy.
“Fuck!” I shouted, sliding down the tree and dropping my forehead to my knees. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
“Hey, it’s okay.”
Despite everything, I laughed. “It’s okay? If I don’t kill you, they will find you and use you. Then, I’ll be stuck like this forever. That is, if they don’t kill me for defying her.”
“So, we fight.”
“We can’t. Even with the two of us and all of your coven, we don’t stand a chance. Not unless you were at full power.”
“With a full circle?”
“Yes, but nobody else exists, Sam. Those that the pill did identify are gone now.”
“They could’ve been the ones,” she realized. There was something like sadness in her voice. Maybe it was longing for a thing that she’d never have the chance to experience.
“There has only been one in the past ten years, but considering I’m part of this and we were born in different generations, we have no idea if those that might align with the Nexus are young, old, or dead. Maybe they haven’t been born yet.”
“Can they repeat?”
“Yes. There have been groups that lost a member and found a new one or some had multiple within the same class of energy. Now, though, you’d never find that. There are too few.”
“Then it’s me and you. Plus, we have Lock.”
“That’s not in any way reassuring.”
“Well, it’s something,” she said with a shrug. “If it’s between this thing using me for some mysterious reason you won’t expand on or dying in a fight against it, I choose the latter.”
“You think this is brave, but it’s really just stupid.”
“Then be stupid with me. What do you say?”
She stood and held out her hand. It was like a beacon, a siren song that was begging me to accept what it was offering. The thing with sirens was that they led you to your death.
“No,” I decided, getting to my feet.
Her face fell. “Raf…”
“Get yourself killed if that’s what you want. I have no interest in pretending we can go up against this.”
I turned and began marching through the forest, hoping she wouldn’t follow me. Right now, I needed to think. Everything inside of me was screaming at me to agree with Sam. Maybe I would, but I couldn’t do that yet. Not with the hold Sibon had on me.
When I was sure Sam wasn’t anywhere nearby, I sat against a tree and closed my eyes, letting my mind wander to far away places.
“It took me years to find you,” a strange, melodic voice said.
I looked up from my place in the shadows, barely making out a hooded shape. “Who are you?”
“Let’s talk about you first. I saw what you did.”
My chest constricted. “No. I didn’t mean to.”
“Shh. Don’t be ashamed. You are beautiful. Just what I need.”
“What do you mean?”
“I have a proposal for you. Do you want to be part of something magnificent?”
“I don’t know.”
“You’ll find a sense of belonging you’ve never experienced before. A family.”
“Family,” I repeated under my breath. “But you don’t even know me.”
“Come on. It’s easier if I show you.”
“Why should I trust you?”
“Oh, you shouldn’t. Never trust a stranger on a dark street, little flame. I have a feeling you can hold your own, though.”
When I got to my feet, sharp teeth appeared inside of the stranger’s hood.
“What is your name?” he asked.
“Seraphim.”
“How strangely fitting. And look, now we are no longer strangers.”
“You know me, but I don’t know you.”
“I am Vasile.”
“What is it you want from me, Vasile?”
“Have a morsel of faith, little flame. Weren’t you taught about its importance back home? Sorry. Perhaps it’s too soon to mention.”
“Faith escaped me long ago.”
“That’s okay. This is different than some invisible deity anyway.”