Chapter Twenty-Three
Twenty-Three
Nico
I think so ...
JJ’s words haunted me as I drove like a hellhound on the hunt, flying from the airport as fast as any of those planes, headed back toward the condo. My mind conjured every worst-case scenario for why my mother had gone radio silent, then ended up at my place, over two thousand miles away on a random Saturday night. It didn’t add up, and if I didn’t trust JJ implicitly, I might’ve lost my mind.
But it was her parting words, spoken in a pained, emotional whisper just before we hung up, that gave me pause as I screeched into the parking lot and raced toward the front door.
Nico... just be calm... she needs you to be calm...
With my heart pounding so hard it felt like it was punching my ribs, I stopped long enough to take a shaky breath before I turned my key in the knob.
JJ’s blue eyes met mine first from over the top of my mom’s head where she sat with her back to me on my favorite recliner.
Sunshine gave a little yip of excitement at my return and rushed over to greet me.
I closed the door and locked it, keeping my gaze on my mom’s hair, feeling JJ’s watchful gaze as she measured my every move as if I were a live grenade and she was waiting for the explosion.
“Ma?” I stepped closer and watched as JJ and she exchanged a glance, and JJ gave her an encouraging nod as if to tell her it was okay to face me.
Slowly, my mom leaned forward and put a cup on the table, then stood and turned my way.
At first, after not hearing from her all this time and being so worried, nothing but relief filled me. Then, as the shadows of the room danced across her face and my eyes adjusted, I realized something was off in her wobbly, hesitant smile. As if she, too, was unsure how I would react to her.
“Amore mio,” she murmured as I took another step closer.
And that’s when I saw her clearly.
The split lip. The angry swollen cheek. The puffy black eye that was filling with tears as she studied me in return. With love, I realized. This was my mother, who loved me, and she was worried I’d judge her for showing up like this.
“Mama,” I whispered, holding my arms open to her.
She let out a cry and collapsed into my embrace like it was all she’d been waiting for and began to weep into my chest.
I kissed her head and met JJ’s gaze. She was openly crying too, and I understood what she’d meant about my mom needing calm. She was like a wounded bird who needed my strength, not my fury. Yes, I was raging—seething—on the inside, but that was not for this moment. She’d held me up through so much in my life, it was time to return the favor.
I ushered us to the couch and sat with her still curled into me, much like she’d done with me countless times when I was a child, and let her cry it out.
When she was done, she lifted her face to mine. “I’m sorry to trouble you like this, amore mio. I didn’t know where else to go.”
“You’re not troubling me. You know that.” I wiped her tears with my thumbs, and she offered me a tight smile before sitting up and accepting a tissue from JJ. “Why didn’t you call Angelo?”
“He took my phone.” She dabbed her face. “Plus, your brother lives too close. He’d find me there.”
White-hot fury ripped through my body. “Who, Ma? Who took your phone?” I knew, but I needed her to say it.
She gave me a wan look. The three of us—me, her, my brother—had known this day was coming for a long time. Like a storm brewing that you hoped you could outrun, I think Ang and I had naively hoped his rage would stay locked on us. Stupid. Fucking stupid. “Your father.”
I stood and paced a few steps away, raking my hand through my hair, trying to keep a lid on my anger.
“How did you get here?” JJ asked. “Angelo told Nico that your car is still at your house.”
“It is,” she answered. “I had a plan in case...” Her words fell off and I turned back to meet her eyes. In case things came to this, she meant. In case my father’s violent temper got out of control. He’d always taken a heavy hand with me and my brother, but now I knew he’d never really stopped hitting her, had he?
She took a breath and continued. “I had some cash put away so I could buy a bus ticket here to LA and I memorized your address. I left while he was taking a shower and didn’t look back. I took his coat from the closet and used a scarf to disguise myself in the crowds.” She reached out and took my hand, squeezing me with cold fingers. “It was time. I’m sorry it took me so long, sweetheart. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize to me. He’s the one who owes us all an apology.”
Her face wilted again so I leaned down and kissed her cheek before offering her my phone. “You should call Ang. Let him know you’re safe here with me. He’s been worried.”
She nodded and I stepped away with JJ to give her some privacy.
JJ looked at me warily as we stepped into the kitchen. “Are you okay?”
“Fuck no.” I leaned my back against the counter and bent forward, my hands to my knees, sucking in great gulps of air. It all hit me in a rush, and I felt sick. The worry, the relief, the sadness, the fucking overwhelming rage. God, the rage. I’d never wanted to murder anyone before, but that devil was in my ear right then, tempting me to gut my own father, to hell with the consequences.
She placed a soft hand between my shoulder blades and began to rub back and forth, back and forth. “We’ll help her,” she said softly. “Whatever she needs. She’s safe now.”
I nodded, trying to hear that, but all I could hear was the gut-gnawing anger.
“I’ve always hated him.” I looked up into her eyes, gauging her reaction to my truth. “Even as a little kid. And I was mouthy. I fought him back. That’s why he hates me too.” Fury and pain leaked out onto my cheeks in a hot stream as she stared back at me in understanding silence. “I never understood why she stayed. Why she took his bullshit. She’s the strongest woman I know but she...” I choked on all the words I didn’t have. The understanding that eluded me and the destruction that had been my life because of that fact.
“Stayed,” JJ finished for me, and I nodded, collapsing into her arms much like my mother had done in mine.
I felt like a child in that moment, helpless and lost, but I couldn’t do a thing about it. Not while the first woman who had ever loved me sat in the other room, battered and broken, and I was barely able to hold it together in the arms of the only woman I might ever love... just not enough.
“It’ll be okay,” she murmured to me, pressing kisses to my cheek and head as she rubbed my back. “We’ll figure it out. We’ll take care of her.”
I nodded and pulled away when I heard my mother hang up her call. I had not been prepared for what had greeted me when I got home tonight, especially after worrying about her these past days, but it was time to get it together.
I forced a steel door to slam shut in my mind, locking the turbulent emotions of my childhood away as I focused on her face when she joined us in the kitchen and handed me my phone.
“You brother wanted me to tell you he’s going to call you soon.” It was clear in her expression that she didn’t want us discussing the matter, but we were well past keeping this shit bottled up anymore. Our little family “secret” was out in the open now and we were going to deal with it one way or another.
I nodded and cupped my hand over hers. “It’s going to be fine, Mama. I promise you.”
She didn’t say anything, just held my hand as we stared at each other, saying everything with our eyes.
JJ eventually cleared her throat. “I’ll, uh, go get the guest bedroom ready. I’m sure you’re tired after all that traveling. I can loan you a nightgown and some toiletries if you need them too.”
My mom glanced over. “I don’t want to put you to any trouble.”
“Please. It’s a toothbrush and a nightie for my mother-in-law.” She smiled, her sweet blue gaze flitting between my mom and me. “It’s no trouble.”
“Okay. If you’re sure.”
JJ tipped her head and spun away.
“I’ll make sure you get some new things,” I promised. “And you can stay with us as long as you need to.”
Tears flooded her eyes. “Thank you, son.”
I linked our hands and led her down the hall to the guest room where we found JJ turning down the bed. She indicated the pale-blue nightgown and folded towel at the foot of the bed.
“The guest bathroom is across the hall. It should have everything you need, but please let us know if you need anything else.”
Instead of thanking her, my mother walked over and collected her into a tight hug, murmuring something softly to her that I didn’t catch.
JJ looked at me with surprise but hugged her back and whispered something in her ear.
My mother chuckled, making my heart lighten. She turned to me with a smile. “You found a good one, amore mio. I like her.”
I grinned. “Me too.”
JJ flushed and moved to meet me in the doorway where I wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling her close.
The move made my mom’s eyes sparkle with delight. I’d never brought a girl home and I’d certainly never shown PDA in front of my family. And a steady girlfriend, much less a wife? Forget about it. JJ must be an answer to my mom’s prayers.
“Good night, Ma,” I said. “I’m glad you’re here.”
She acknowledged that with a nod before shooing us off and closing herself in the bathroom.
JJ and I made our way to our bedroom where she closed the door and turned to face me, her eyes expectant. But before she could say a word, my phone rang.
I checked the caller ID and looked up at her. “It’s my brother.”
“Then you’d better answer it.”
With my eyes still on hers, I took the call. “Hey, Ang.”
“What the fuck?” he said by way of greeting. “What the hell is going on?”
“What exactly did she tell you?”
“Not much. Just that she was safe, but she needed to get away for a while and she was staying with you. It was obvious she’s not telling me the whole story. Especially when I confronted her with Dad’s story about her taking a girls’ trip and why her car’s still at the house. She didn’t have an answer for me on that one. Said I should talk to you.” He took a long, haggard breath. “Are they getting a divorce and she’s afraid to tell me?”
I nearly choked on a laugh. If only that was all. “I don’t know anything about a divorce.”
The line sat silent for a long moment as the implication of everything I wasn’t saying hung between us. The dark ugliness of everything I’d protected him from for years permeated the space. He didn’t say a word, but I knew he was starting to paint a picture in his imagination just by the change in the cadence of his breathing.
“Nico?” he murmured. “Is she... did he do something?”
“Yeah, he did something.”
He cursed under his breath. A watery, angry sound. “How bad?”
“It’s bad, bro.” I ran a hand over my face and cupped the back of my head as if that might hold in my racing thoughts. “Looks like he used her face for a punching bag.”
A low growl rumbled in his throat that erupted into a roar. Something I didn’t have the luxury of doing because I had to keep my shit in check with the women in the house. Instead, I focused on giving him the details she’d given me as robotically as possible. How she’d escaped and made her way to me with just the clothes on her back and left everything behind so he wouldn’t track her. But we both knew it was only a matter of time before he figured it out.
“I’m going over there,” Ang bit out. “He can’t get away with this.”
“And he won’t.” A door opened and closed down the hall as my mother finished her shower and moved back to the guest room. “But you’re not going alone.” I’d already bought the ticket to New York to go look for my mother when JJ called me. It wouldn’t be that hard to switch to a later flight to make this a come to Jesus meeting with my father, the wife beater.
It was about time.
“When can you get here?” my brother asked, not bothering to question me.
“Let me look into it and I’ll text you the details.”
He agreed and we hung up.
JJ immediately pounced. “Tell me I didn’t just hear you tell your brother you’re going to fly out there to confront your dad with him.”
“You didn’t just hear me tell my brother I’m going to fly out to confront my dad with him,” I parroted even as pulled up the airline phone number and dialed.
It rang in my ear as pink flushed her cheeks. “You can’t do that! It could potentially set you so far back on your recovery!” she pleaded. “Your mother wouldn’t want that.”
I simply stared at her as the representative came on the line. “Hi, I need to change my flight.”
Anger filled JJ’s face as she stared daggers at me.
As soon as it was done, I hung up and threw my phone on the bed.
JJ walked over to me with tears pooled in her eyes. “Please don’t go. Don’t do this.”
I studied her face, trying to see a path that would let me live with myself if I stayed and did nothing. I couldn’t find it. “Will you take care of my mom while I’m gone?”
Our gazes were locked in a tug-of-war, hard and soft, neither of us giving in. Eventually, those pooled tears began to trickle down her cheeks and that seemed to trigger something inside of her and her palm cracked across my cheek in a resounding slap that neither of us saw coming.
On a broken cry, she rushed from the room, taking my tattered heart with her.