Chapter Twenty-Two
Twenty-Two
JJ
I f Stassia saw that we were a hot emotional mess when she came for dinner, she was kind enough not to say a word. Instead, she oohed and aahed over Sunshine and helped herself to three glasses of wine.
After we had eaten, we sat in the living room with our drinks, the stereo playing quietly in the background. “You two are seriously so cute together it’s kinda gross,” she said, shooting a glance to where Nico had his arm casually draped over my shoulders, his fingertips stroking my arm.
Okay, so she was apparently done being quiet.
“Thank you?” I smiled over the rim of my glass, not sure if she meant that as a compliment or not.
“I just...” She shrugged. “I honestly wasn’t sure what to make of all this. You?” She pointed her glass at me, then at Nico. “Married to him? It didn’t compute. No offense.” She directed her words to Nico.
“None taken. I get it.”
Her brow winged up. “Do you?”
He set his club soda down. “I do. My reputation precedes me, and I don’t blame you for being wary. No matter the circumstances that led us here, I’m well aware I hit the wife lotto with JJ and married way above my pay grade. I’d be a damn fool to fuck this up.”
She studied him closely, but he didn’t waver, his fingers still tracking up and down my arm. Up and down, up and down in a smooth, reassuring motion.
“So, this really is more than just a publicity stunt for you?” she pressed, her gaze locked on his.
“A thousand percent. I’m in this as deep as a man can be and I’ll be Jemma’s husband for as long as she’ll have me.”
My heart soared into my throat, and I turned to look at him but all I got was his beautifully sculpted profile. Other than telling me he was falling for me, that was as close as he’d ever come to declaring his love for me, but it was... It was. I heard it in everything he didn’t say. In his tone, his body language, in the way he kept me tucked close as he stared down my protective best friend. He loved me as much as I loved him, whether he wanted to admit it or not, and I could wait for him to give me the words—even if it hurt that he couldn’t.
I leaned into him and whispered in his ear, “I love you.”
He turned then and kissed my forehead, then my temple. So sweet, so pure, so non-rock star, it made my eyes burn. This man was it for me.
I watched the distrust and questions wash from Stassia’s face and the conversation flowed easily to other things.
After a while, Nico excused himself to take Sunshine outside when a text came in for him.
When we were alone, Stassia leaned back with her wine and smiled. “I wasn’t sure I’d see this day, but I’m happy for you.”
“What day?”
“The day you let that crap with Brody go once and for all and let yourself fall headfirst in love with the right guy.”
Warm light began to fill my chest at her words. “You think Nico is the right guy?” I hadn’t realized until right then how much I needed to hear her say that... how much I needed my best friend’s support.
“Well, duh. My God, I’d kill to have a man look at me like that.” She began to fan herself like she was having a hot flash. “I’d ask about the sex, but I might spontaneously combust.”
I burst out laughing. “I mean, he does do this thing with his tongue—”
“Stop!” She threw a pillow at me just as Nico came back into the room with Sunshine in tow.
“Did I miss something?” he asked.
“No,” we both said at the same time, making him glance between us like he didn’t believe us.
He sat next to me with a lifted brow but didn’t say another word.
We continued to chat, but I could sense a shift in his demeanor since he’d gone outside. He was quiet, pensive, his smiles forced.
“You okay?” I leaned over to whisper.
He nodded without looking me in the eye, telling me he wasn’t being totally honest and making me wonder what the heck had happened. We had cookies to throw in the oven for dessert, but I made an executive decision and shifted my gaze to Stassia.
“Well, it’s getting late, isn’t it?”
She opened her mouth, clearly to argue it was still early, but I saw when it clicked she was being kicked out. “Right.” She stood. “I should probably get going. I have to be up early for work tomorrow.”
Nico and I walked her to the door, and I squeezed her in a hug, so glad she was on board with my whirlwind marriage. Honestly, I could go it alone with Nico, but it was so much better with my bestie.
“Thanks for dinner, guys.” She smiled at Nico.
“Absolutely,” he said. “Come back anytime.”
She gave me a silent look that demanded I call her soon, and I nodded once before she stepped out and I locked up behind her. I turned to find Nico still standing there, looking a bit lost.
“What happened?”
Dark eyes lifted to mine. “What?”
“You look like someone died.” I walked over and grabbed his hand. “What is it?”
“Oh, no. Nothing like that. It’s probably nothing at all. It’s just...” His words drifted away like vapor.
“What?” I demanded again.
“I can’t get ahold of my mom.” At my frown, he clarified. “She always answers my calls and today, nothing. My brother can’t get her either. That was him texting to tell me he went by the house and her car was there, but nobody was home. He said it felt off. I don’t like it.”
“What about your dad?”
“Angelo is trying to find him now.”
“Okay,” I said slowly, trying to understand his worry. “I’m sure there’s a simple explanation. Maybe they went out to dinner or something? Or her phone died?”
He didn’t seem convinced, and I wasn’t sure what to say. I knew there was a dark history there, but I wasn’t sure if it was still an issue. Plus, didn’t his family live their own lives? They were also in New York. There had to be some issues with the time difference. Right?
His phone rang and he picked it up without checking who was calling first, his face falling when clearly it wasn’t his mother.
“Hey,” he bit out tersely. “What did you find?” He listened for a minute while a male voice mumbled on the line, his face stoic.
I walked over and placed my hand on his back, trying to comfort him somehow.
Nico spun away from me like I wasn’t even there. “He said what ?” He paced to the far window and stared out, every line in his body rigid, vibrating. “That’s bullshit!” He smacked the wall with an open palm so hard I knew it had to sting. “Do I need to come out there?” He spun, not giving the person a chance to answer, his eyes beyond dark. “I’m coming out.”
He hung up and threw his phone on the couch, ignoring it when it rang immediately as he strode toward the bedroom.
“Nico?” I rushed to follow him. “Nico! Wait! What’s going on?”
He yanked a suitcase out of the closet, tossed it on the bed, and blindly started throwing clothes in.
I didn’t try to stop him. Instead, I began folding his jeans and t-shirts. “Tell me,” I prompted quietly after a few moments.
His movements slowed and the breath rushed from his lungs as he wilted to the bed beside me in an emotional heap. “My dad told Ang that Mom went with some friends on a girls’ trip or some horseshit like that.” Haunted eyes met mine. “But her car is still in the driveway and Ang said he saw her jacket still hanging on the coatrack. Who the hell leaves for a trip without their coat and their car? I’ve had a bad feeling since she quit picking up the phone, and now he’s fucking lying, JJ. I need to find my mother.”
His cold, stark fear ripped through me like a tidal wave. I couldn’t comprehend a universe where I didn’t trust my father. It was just not a life I knew, and it absolutely broke my heart that these thoughts crossed his mind... that it made sense in his world.
“Nico...” I put a hand on his thigh, feeling utterly helpless. “What can I do?”
He shook his head. “Nothing.” Impulsively, he leaned over and kissed me. Hard and desperate, his emotions a turbulent force just under the surface. “I need to go.” He stood and slammed the top of his suitcase closed. “Can you make excuses for me with the guys?” Stark eyes met mine. “I don’t want them to know about this.”
“What?” I stood too. “Why not? They’re your best friends.”
He hefted his case off the bed and put it by the door. “I know. I just don’t want them thinking I’ve gone off the deep end. I’m honestly too close to the edge right now, and the last thing I need is Sebastian going all mother hen on me. It will drive me to do something fucking stupid. I just need...” He squeezed his eyes shut and sucked in a big breath, and I could see how hard he was trying to hold it together. “I just need to go. To do something.”
“Okay.” I nodded, hating this. Hating that I had to trust him when his sobriety was still so fragile and so were his emotions. “Okay. Go.”
After a moment, he strode over to me and cupped my jaw, pressing his forehead to mine. “I won’t do anything stupid, baby.”
I nodded and clutched his waist, inhaling his scent. “You promise?”
“I promise I’ll do my best.” His voice was dark, and I knew what he was saying. It all depended on what he found when he got to New York. I also knew it was all I could ask for, especially with Nico Santorini.
I closed my eyes and held him a bit tighter. “Promise you’ll call Doc if you need her? If—” I couldn’t say it. I didn’t even have the words to finish the thought. If what? If something bad had happened? If he needed to, in fact, be talked off that proverbial ledge?
Instead of answering, he kissed me again, on the forehead this time. A chaste promise. Then he drew back and looked at me one last time with those deep, dark, angsty eyes before grabbing his suitcase and walking out.
I wilted back onto the bed, tears suddenly crowding my eyes, though I had no idea why. Was I worried about what he’d find? Maybe. What he’d do? Possibly. That I might lose him forever to his demons? Most definitely.
I wasn’t sure how long I sat there in the empty silence, hoping he’d come back. Finally, my bladder prompted me to get up.
After using the bathroom, I forced myself through a long, hot shower, then I dressed in my most comfortable pajamas and padded out into the living room. Sunshine glanced up from her dog bed with sleepy brown eyes, then seeing it was just me, she laid her head back down.
I checked my phone. Nothing from Nico, so I texted him.
Me: Please keep me posted. I love you.
The message showed it was read, but he didn’t respond, so I figured he was driving. Hopefully it wasn’t anything more than that.
It was getting late, but I wasn’t tired yet, so I made myself a cup of hot tea and curled up on the couch with my favorite brainless cooking show on in the background, my phone next to me in case he called.
Two episodes in and my mind was spinning. Should I really just let him go off like this? Should I call somebody? Who? His bandmates? Dr. Evans? I was truly torn between giving him the space he’d demanded and protecting him from his own worst instincts. But in this case, I didn’t know enough to know the difference. I was too close to the situation.
I glanced at my phone again. Still nothing. I bit my lip as I contemplated texting again when I heard something at the front door.
Hope soared through me. He’d come back! But my smile quickly faded when I realized it wasn’t the sound of his key in the front door lock. It was more like a gentle scratching... or a tapping? It was hard to tell.
Sunshine alerted, giving a little yip, both of us aware that it was too late for visitors, and nobody we knew would knock like that.
With my heart in my throat, I turned down the volume on the TV and tiptoed toward the door, the dog at my heels. I didn’t dare turn on the porch light, and when I peered out the peephole, all I could make out was the faint outline of a dark figure on the porch.
I sucked in a breath and instinctively backed away from the door. Somebody was really out there. Who was it? Was someone trying to break in?
Sunshine barked again but I didn’t dare shush her.
“Amore mio?” the person said in a faint, tired voice behind the door. “Are you there?” More gentle tapping, as if they were afraid to be too loud. “Nico?”
Then I heard the tears, and it clicked. His mother.
With trembling fingers, I unbolted the door and swung it open to find the trembling woman on my darkened doorstep, bundled in a bulky man’s jacket, her head covered in a black scarf. “Mrs. Santorini?”
She let out a gasp, clearly relieved to have found the right place, and I ushered her inside. “Nico?” she asked, her voice soft and quivering with emotion.
“He’s not here,” I said. “He actually left to look for you.” I led her into the living room and turned toward her.
And that’s when I got my first good look at her face as she slid the scarf from her head. Someone had beaten the holy hell out of her. Her left eye was black and swollen, the conjunctiva red with busted blood vessels. Her top lip was split and puffy. Her cheek an angry purple. And there was no telling what injuries she was hiding under her clothes.
She lifted a hand as if to straighten her hair, clearly self-conscious. “Are you my Nico’s wife? His JJ?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
She nodded, looking me up and down. “It’s good to meet you at last.”
“Same.” Though obviously not under these circumstances, whatever they were. “I...” I offered her a gentle smile, letting her know I would ask no questions. Not then. “Would you like something to drink? Are you hungry?”
She gave me a grateful smile in return. “A drink would be nice. Tea or coffee?”
“I was just having some tea.” I indicated my mug.
She nodded.
“Make yourself comfortable,” I said. “I’ll make the tea and let Nico know you’re here.”
“Thank you.” She shrugged out of her jacket and took a seat on the couch while I dashed off to the kitchen and dialed Nico’s number.
It rolled straight to voicemail, and I bypassed leaving a message and dialed again. And again. I kept calling until he finally picked up.
“Can I call you back?” he said, exasperation clear in his voice. “I’m at the airport and—”
“Your mom is here,” I interrupted him.
“What?”
“She’s here,” I said. “At the condo. And you need to come. Now.”
“Why?”
“Just come back.”
“Is she alright?”
I took a breath and closed my eyes. “You need to see her for yourself, babe.”
His silence was as loud as a death knell. “Am I about to walk into a nightmare, JJ?”
Tears filled my eyes for what felt like the hundredth time as I pictured what he was going to see and how it was going to break him. I also knew I couldn’t lie to him. “I think so.”