49. Skye
SKYE
C hristmas had come and gone, then New Year’s, and then the whole months of January and February. I’d never understood how anyone could hate the holidays, but now I certainly did. Family gathered around, happy and joyful, making my own mood only gloomier.
Physically I was perfect. Emotionally not so much.
It was the longest I’d gone without seeing Nikola since Sasha and Branka adopted me. In fact, it was the longest I’d gone without going to New Orleans, and it almost felt like I’d lost a limb. That city was my home as much as Trieste and I was feeling homesick.
It also didn’t help that I hadn’t seen my girlfriends in months. Penelope was married and in her own hell—or heaven, none of us were quite sure. Arianna was getting her brains fucked out by her husband. Amara was being secretive about whatever she was doing. And then there was me.
My plan to get Nikola back started and ended with Kostya, who I finally flat-out refused. I couldn’t do that to Nikola, even though he’d hurt me more than anyone else ever had. So I dealt with it like most of Generation Alpha: by talking to a therapist.
My therapy sessions with Dr. Freud continued, although we both agreed my papa needed them even more than me. She claimed I was dealing with everything in a healthy way; my papa not so much.
All the Italian cookies I’d devoured would attest otherwise, but I took the win nonetheless.
I let out a heavy sigh and eyed the cookie assortment on the coffee table while debating whether I should eat another or not. I’d already eaten half a dozen cream puffs. Mini tiramisus. Amaretti and ricotta cookies. You name it, I’d devoured it.
Apparently, it was my thing to eat my feelings.
I was just about to say fuck it and go for another cookie when my phone’s vibration yanked my attention away.
With a heavy sigh, I reached for it and my eyes widened. No, it couldn’t be. I blinked several times, but the name still stared back at me.
Nikola .
Was it a prank? Maybe Papa had threatened him with bodily harm if he didn’t message me.
I glanced around the empty room. My parents were on the terrace, cuddled in a blanket and watching the sunset.
Mama went on an impromptu trip with Aunt Reina and Papa just about lost his marbles, so she was making it up to him.
I slid the message open and read it.
Nikola: Why does playing the piano make you melancholy?
Huh?
I stared at the words with a furrowed brow, trying and failing to decipher them. I typed my reply with quivering fingers and a palpitating heart.
Me: Because I can’t hear the notes, only feel them.
My fingers hovered over the sent message, staring at the bubbles on the other end. Start; stop. Start; stop.
Nikola: You and Kostya… never gonna happen.
Me: ???
Nikola: You’re mine and you’ve always been mine. I’m a jackass.
The first smile in months spread on my face. If Kostya were here, I would have hugged him to death. He must have taken matters into his own hands and slipped a little hint to Vasili.
Me: Yes, you are.
But he was my jackass.
Nikola: Your papa agreed you can visit me in New Orleans. He insisted you stay at the Nikolaev manor.
My eyebrows furrowed. It seemed unlike my papa to let me stay away from home for very long, but there was no freaking way I’d question it.
I typed a reply and deleted it. Tried again, then deleted it again. Then settled for a simple one-word message.
Me: Okay.
Nikola: Good, I’ll see you tomorrow, then.
I shot to my feet and caught a glimpse of myself in the window. Oh no, how could I meet him looking like this? I’d let myself go. My hair was frizzy, my nails chewed up, and my eyebrows… No, no, no.
I started pacing in circles, so many thoughts whirling in my mind, when I noticed two sets of eyes staring at me.
“What are you doing?” Papa asked, eyeing me like I’d lost my mind.
“ Thinking .”
Mama shook her head. “ About what? ”
“ Nikola texted me. I have to pack. Find some cute stuff. I need a haircut. Manicure. Eyebrow wax. More pink stuff. ” I tugged on my messy, knotted hair. “ I don’t know what I’m doing .”
Papa rolled his eyes. “You have nothing to worry about. He’s lucky to have my beautiful daughter.”
I pursed my lips.
“ You’re my papa, of course you’d say that. ”
“So he wants you back, huh?” Papa asked and my brows furrowed. “About fucking time. I should make it harder on him and?—”
“ You don’t want me to go ?” I asked.
“As if I could stop you,” Papa scoffed. “Don’t worry, Nikola called me and we came to an agreement.”
“ What kind of agreement ?”
He waved his hand nonchalantly. “More visitations.”
I had no idea what that meant.
“ So you’re okay with me being gone for a while ?” I signed hesitantly.
He winced. “Not exactly okay, but I know Nikola and you need some time alone to work things out. I want you to be happy.”
“ And both of you need to be open-minded, ” Mama chimed in. “ Happiness needs work. ”
“ You two make it look so effortless, ” I noted.
Mama smiled. “ It’s not. There’s always an obstacle waiting, but as long as you stick together, nothing else matters. ”
“I’m going to see him. ”
I clapped my hands excitedly and started circling the room again.
“I’m glad you’ve finally got your spunk back, but I sure am going to miss you.”
Mama grabbed my hand and forced me to still. “ We need to get you packed before your papa changes his mind. ”