51. Nikola
NIKOLA
T hings were good, so fucking good.
Skye and I had been staying in separate rooms at the Nikolaev compound for a few weeks now. I’d purchased additional property and I planned to surprise her with it this afternoon. It was the first step to building our life together.
Skye and I had talked about the wedding and I couldn’t fucking wait to make her officially mine. We promised Dante we’d tell him the date as soon as we settled on it, and Skye had been working on her dress.
Yes, things were good. Life was good.
Since Skye had arrived, I did what I should have done the first time around.
I took my girl out on proper dates. She insisted that I didn’t need to court her since she was already mine, but I was determined to do things the right way. I continued running the business, and on the nights we stayed at the compound, the family would leave Skye and me alone.
We would find a movie to put on, but we hardly watched it because Skye would climb into my lap and distract me with her mouth and her exploring hands. However, that was where it usually ended.
I didn’t want to rush her, despite my eager cock which seemed to have revived with Skye back in my life. I wanted her to take the lead and tell me when she was ready. Yes, her body would cave in whenever I touched her and kissed her, but her heart was more important to me.
A gift I wouldn’t take for granted ever again.
“Did you ask her if she’s with you out of pity?
” Dr. MaryAnn’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts, but I was still smiling as I met my therapist’s sharp expression.
“You said you want to focus on your upcoming wedding and your fiancée, but you really owe it to her to ask that key question before she makes that final step. Pity can destroy a lot of things, including love and marriage, Mr. Nikolaev.”
My smile faltered as the sour taste of that word flooded my mouth. I could take anything but pity. Damn this woman and therapy.
I told my mother this morning that I didn’t need to waste my time or Dr. MaryAnn’s by visiting her. I had all I needed with Skye and my family, but this woman’s tongue… It was sharper than a sword’s blade and deadlier than a bullet.
Damn this fucking wheelchair and its slowness because before I could wheel myself out of her fucking office, she had to utter these goddamned words.
“That’s none of your concern,” I spat out. “You’re no longer my therapist.”
“I’ll take that as a no,” she continued as if I hadn’t spoken. “I always wondered if there was any decency in you, but I guess this is my answer. It’s cruel to tie an innocent woman to someone with such… limitations.”
“She doesn’t mind my condition,” I hissed, not bothering to tell her my rehab was slowly allowing me use of my legs.
“But she will once you have children.” Her eyes flashed victoriously, knowing she had me. “Or do you expect her to do everything while you’re watching her from your wheelchair?”
My chest tightened, a cold sweat broke out beneath my skin, and a tremble started in my hands. Jesus Christ. I never even thought about kids. What would I do if I never regained complete use of my legs?
I wheeled myself out of the office, but it was too late because Dr. MaryAnn’s words had already dug their sharp claws into my soul, leaving doubts and shadows in its wake.
I returned to the Nikolaev compound to find Skye in the library with an excited gleam in her eyes, waiting for me. She was dressed in a spaghetti-strap pink dress and white sandals.
“ You said dress up, so… ” She whirled around and expanded her hands at it. “ Tada. Do you like it ?”
Dr. MaryAnn’s poisonous words echoed in my ears over and over again. Pity can destroy a lot of things, including love and marriage.
“Do you want children?” I asked, seemingly out of nowhere.
Surprise flickered in Skye’s eyes before she brushed a hand down her hip subconsciously. “ I know I gained some weight, but I’ll lose it. ”
I frowned, letting my eyes roam over her body. “If you gained any weight, I didn’t notice it,” I admitted. “I think you’re perfect just the way you are and I don’t want you to lose anything.”
She exhaled a relieved breath. “ Why ask me about children, then ?”
I stiffened. “I was just wondering in general.”
She shrugged. “ I’m not sure. I’ve never thought about it. ” It wasn’t a good answer. “ Nikola, what’s wrong ?”
That therapist fucking with my head, that was what was wrong.
But what if Dr. MaryAnn was right? If Skye’s love turned into hate and resentment for being tied to my handicapped ass, that would tear me apart.
A bullet wouldn’t hurt, but losing Skye’s love absolutely would. It would finish me off for good.
Skye closed the distance and put her palm on my cheek, making me focus on her. “ Where have you been anyhow? Your father said you asked him to cover for you at work. ”
I waved my hand nonchalantly.
“Therapy.” She shot me a shocked look, and I couldn’t help but smile wryly. “Ironic, right? I told you that you’d need therapy after me and here I am?—”
Her brows furrowed. “ You’re seeing a therapist because of me ?”
Fuck. I was messing this all up.
“No, no. It was a bad joke. It was because of my legs. Forget about the therapist. In fact, forget I said anything.” I kissed her soft lips.
Cupping her cheek, I leaned my forehead and rested it on hers, breathing her in. Her oxygen. Her life. Her everything.
I was scared as fuck to let go.