Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
Leo
S haw looks a lot like I feel. He helps me drag the pull-out sofa from our cell into Saylor’s room. From the wall of pillows she built around the edge of the bed that she’s currently crying in, it’s pretty obvious she’s not going to willingly leave this room.
She’s always gotten attached to people easily, and she’s worn her heart on her sleeve for as long as I’ve known her. It’s a huge part of why I spent the last three years worrying about her and how she was coping.
I have so many regrets, I could drown in them, but feeling sorry for myself gets us nowhere. What I need to do is apologize, see where we start fixing things—if that’s even possible—and work on getting us the fuck out of this place.
Once we’re safe back in the real world, I can court her the right way.
“I’m going to see if I can track down McCabe,” Shaw says, keeping his voice low as we hover in the hallway outside the cell. “He has to have insight on those two.”
It’s instinctual to know he means Omen and Valor.
The British MI6 operative, McCabe, placed us in the room next to them and failed to give us information about their backgrounds. He briefly warned us that she’d chosen to be locked in with one of the inmates and his bonded partner, but what we really need is the full story of what we’re up against.
They’re not CIA, MI5, MI6, or Russian special forces, meaning they belong to one of the criminal operations that dump their assets here.
“Maybe if I’m lucky, I can find something to punch.” Shaw scratches his jaw. “That’s what I really need…to punch something.” He shrugs. “Or someone.”
I sigh, glancing at the loft through the window next to the door. “Just don’t get yourself thrown in the hole. This might be the only opportunity we have to reach her.”
He rocks on his heels, nodding. “We don’t know shit about this place, meaning one of us has to do recon. Would you rather go, and I’ll stay with her? I’ll gladly stay with her.”
My head shakes, and I take off toward the door. “I’ll keep Saylor safe.”
* * *
Saylor’s sobbing fills the air as I kick off my shoes and make my way up the wooden ladder. She’s covered in blankets from her head to her toes, facing away from the opening of the loft. The line of pillows behind her likely helps make the space feel more enclosed and thus safer.
I crawl onto the mattress and stick close to the back wall of the loft. It puts her on the side with the edge, but I’m afraid if I don’t make her face me, she won’t.
Rolling onto my side, I scoot close to her front. Her bright red nose, eyes, and forehead peek out from the blanket burrito she’s got herself rolled up in, and my chest gets tight.
“Fuck, pretty girl.” I snake a hand behind her back and cradle her skull. “I hate seeing you hurting.” I always have, but before, I had to keep a respectable distance. She’s an adult now, and I intend to treat her like one.
“I really miss them.” She pulls her blanket-covered hand to her cheeks, brushing away the tears one by one while I try not to flinch at her words. It’s easy enough to tell who she means. “God, Leo,” she whispers, shaking her head. “I’m so mad at you, and at the same time, I’m so relieved to see you. It’s making me feel like I’m going crazy.”
“I get it, and I’m so fucking sorry.” I scoot even closer and move my hand to her back, tugging her into my chest.
She roots around my T-shirt, sniffling and huffing deep hits of my scent. “I can tell I’m having a panic attack. I just don’t know how to make it stop. My system thinks you smell like safety. That’s the only reason I’m smelling you. It doesn’t seem to remember you couldn’t even be bothered to say goodbye.” My jaw clenches as her entire body shakes. I think she’s trying to hold herself back from sobbing. “I-I j-just wish Valor and Omen were here so I would know they’re safe. My head is a mess of worrying about them and freaking out about seeing you and Shaw after three years .”
“They’ve been in here longer than you have. Those guys are more than capable of looking after themselves.” The pit of guilt that forms in my gut is extreme.
My instincts scream to make her feel better. I just have limited options on how to make that happen. Her stress pheromones are everywhere, and it’s got my impulses convinced there’s a looming threat. This place is far from safe, but there’s no active danger at the moment.
My mind files through all the little tricks I used to use to make her smile or to set her at ease. None of it will help with how hurt she is now. I’ve never felt so lost when it comes to fixing things with another person. There’s also never been so much on the line.
“I’m furious with you, like really mad, even if I’m happy to see you. I don’t know if I’m making any sense.” The hitch in her voice as she speaks makes my chest tight. “I still don’t know why you fired me. Maybe you had a good reason, but it didn’t feel like it to me.”
I pull the blanket away from her head and push my lips to her forehead. “You’re killing me here, sweetheart. First of all, we didn’t fire you. We needed to step back before one of us beat the hell out of your father.”
“Don’t lie to me.” She hiccups, shoving against my chest with her hands that are still wrapped up in the blanket.
“I’m not, and okay, yes, there was more to it than that, but it was never about not wanting to be around you.” I exhale heavily. “I feel like a total piece of shit admitting that it wasn’t safe for us to be around you once you perfumed, but it’s the truth. Since the day we met, I’ve been able to tell that you would be a scent match. That alone was enough to fuck with my head, especially considering how old you were. Still, it was manageable until you presented.”
“What exactly are you saying? I can’t remember any of what happened that night. It’s a blur of pain and fear and hazy shapes.” Her gaze burns into my chin, but I can’t look at her right now. “The only parts I do know about what went down at the party were told to me secondhand…”
I stare over the top of her head at the wall of pillows. “You did nothing wrong. I need you to hear me when I say that.”
“We shouldn’t even get into all of that right now,” she says, sniffling. “It means a lot that you came to rescue me. I won’t turn down your help out of spite. It’s water under the bridge. You moved on, and I was sad, but I got over it.”
“Saylor, I’ve thought about you every damn day for the last three years?—”
“Don’t,” she says firmly. “Don’t do that. If you care about someone, you reach out. It’s that simple. Otherwise, it’s just pretty words.”
“I have a lot to make up for, but can you try to look at this from my side of things for a second? My dads raised me with a core set of moral values. You were way too young for me to be as attached to you as I was. Then you presented…” A whoosh leaves my lips as her scent replays in my mind. “Logic and morals only last for so long when you’re up against biology. We had to take a step back for all our sakes.”
“Because you were attracted to my scent?”
“Exactly,” I agree, praying she gets it.
“I spent the last few months before I turned eighteen telling myself maybe that was it, but I didn’t want to let myself believe it. You know why?” She pauses for so long that I start to wonder if she’s going to continue, but eventually she does. “Because I knew it would hurt even worse if I was wrong. Spoiler alert—you didn’t magically show back up. I don’t even want to talk about this.”
I know why she’s trying to shut down the conversation.
Talking about it hurts.
It does for me, too, but I’m afraid I’ve got this one chance to make her understand our side of things.
“Shaw and I were already toeing way too close to the line. Popping back in a day or even a few months after you turned eighteen wouldn’t have made the situation any better. There’s a word for that—grooming. I can’t speak for Shaw, but even a toe over that proverbial line, and…” I curse under my breath. I don’t think I’m doing a very good job of explaining things. “You needed the chance to date, to go out and experience life with guys your own age. At least, then we’d know you had options. That’s not even getting to the facts about our profession.”
“Yeah, you kill people, got it.” She stretches up and nuzzles her nose into the crook of my neck. “I’ve heard my father talk about Shadow Security and why he hired your company over the others. I’ve never been afraid of you.”
Is that why it was so easy for her to overlook whatever those thugs do for a living?
“I know it hurt you when we left, and I hate that,” I tell her earnestly. “It felt like we had no good options. You’re older now. You better understand how treacherous the pull is between compatible alphas and omegas. Even with the best of intentions, all it would have taken was you perfuming at the wrong time… Once that haze gets deep enough, it would have been impossible to trust myself. An unbonded alpha functioning at baser level isn’t the same guy you spent two and a half years living with.” I kiss the top of her head and soothe my hand down her spine. “Can you at least try to see how fucked up the situation was for me and Shaw?”
“I hear what you’re saying, but it doesn’t make my heart hurt any less.” She sighs. “I just wish you had handled things differently. It is what it is. You can’t change the past. I get that. Did you talk to my dad? Is he freaking out?”
Fuck.
I really should have anticipated that question, but I didn’t. No part of me wants to get into the clusterfuck with her stepmother. At the same time, I don’t want to lie or omit anything.
Things are already precarious enough between us. “I didn’t. Easton—our boss at Shadow Security—handled speaking with your father. There’s some other shit about your stepmom that I really don’t want to get into while you’re upset, but I didn’t interact with any of them.”
Saylor goes rigid. “Is she okay?”
I barely hold back the scoff that wants to escape.
Little does she know the bullshit Samantha Callahan tried to pull. If the woman wasn’t such a high-profile target, I’d take her out myself just to be sure she could never fuck Saylor over like that again. The main problem is, Shaw and I are called in when a kill doesn’t need to be discreet. Not that I can’t plan an up-close hit, but I’m better with distance shots. It’s the way I know how to get in and out without leaving a trace.
“She’s fine,” I finally force myself to grind out. “Your entire family is, as far as I know, but I also couldn’t give a fuck less about your dad or stepmom. I took the call. Easton told me you were missing…” I squeeze her even tighter. “Shaw and I dropped everything. We were in Amsterdam twelve hours after we found out you’d been taken.”
“Is Avery okay?”
“Your friend is physically fine.” I grimace, remembering the verbal lashing Shaw gave her. “She was emotional and felt guilty, but she’ll live.”
“I still can’t believe you got yourselves locked in here to save me. Do we have a plan for getting out?” Her warm breath fans over my throat, and it takes everything in me not to shiver.
“The first step of the plan was to find you to secure your safety,” I say, hedging my words. In no way did we account for her already being involved with some of the inmates. “We have a couple of ideas for getting out, but you’re stressed to the max, and that can wait. Why don’t you rest for a while, and once Shaw gets back, we can have a conversation. I want to know everything from the moment they took you.”
“Okay, I really don’t want to repeat that stuff twice unless I have to.” She sighs, and her fingers land on my clavicle over the T-shirt I’m wearing. “It’s been so long, even seeing you is surreal. You look good. Almost exactly the same, just a little older. I like the beard. It fits your face.”
“Thanks,” I say, clearing my throat. Things have never been this awkward between us, not even when we first moved into her family’s mansion and realized we were basically taking over caring for a teenager. Sure, her father had a live-in private tutor and a housekeeper, but they were both pushing seventy and were quick to disappear to their bedrooms by eight on any given night. “Tell me about school. How do you like living in the dorms?”
It’s probably a cop-out question, but I feel like there are landmine conversations everywhere that we could stumble into if we’re not careful.
Shaw and I were delusional when we thought we could come in here and stake our claim. There are a lot of hurt feelings that need to be addressed, and that’s if she even wants to give us a chance to make things right.
* * *
Saylor talks about her classes and friends, but before long, she starts mumbling and passes out.
I study her face like a total fucking creep while keeping my body pressed as closely to hers as possible. She fell asleep knowing I’m here, and my pheromones will help to soothe her anxious system. That’s why I don’t let myself feel guilty for not backing off once she begins to snore.
The door opens, and my head whips up.
Shaw comes into the room and frowns as the door closes loudly. I carefully extricate myself from the sleeping omega, even though it’s the last thing I want to do.
“Wait, don’t leave,” Saylor says sleepily as she grabs my arm.
“I’m not leaving the room, sweetheart. Give me two minutes to take a piss, and I swear I’ll be right back.” I kiss her cheek and make sure she’s snuggled back into the pillows before climbing out of the loft.
I nod at the bathroom, and Shaw follows without question. Once we’re inside the room, I gesture to the sink. “We need background noise.”
Shaw makes his way over, flipping on the faucet. “I couldn’t find McCabe, but I got the full rundown on those two.”
“Okay, so get on with it,” I growl, stepping to the toilet and preparing to use it.
Do I really need to piss?
No, but fuck if I’m not going to try.
I’m not starting out the next phase of our lives by lying about things. Not if I can help it.
“Valor and Omen work for someone named Amato. He runs a criminal operation out of London, and the guys I spoke to said he’s pretty well known.” Shaw sighs. “I’ve never heard the name, but it’s run-of-the-mill organized crime type shit. All was fine until Amato made a deal with the Armenians. Minasian? I don’t know, but the Armenian boss sent a squadron of his higher-ups to celebrate their newfound partnership.”
I shove my dick away, flush, and head for the sink.
Shaw switches places with me, moving toward the shower while I handle washing my hands. “Big party. The Armenians brought a gift—or multiple gifts—in the form of thirteen, fourteen, and fifteen-year-old girls…” He curses under his breath, and I spin to face him, drying my hands off on my pants.
“And?” I growl.
Saylor will be devastated if she learns those guys were involved with anything like that. They won’t be getting within ten feet of her ever again… I wonder how hard weapons are to come by in here?
Jesus Christ.
Am I on the verge of going rabid?
Does this place actually progress the decay at a more rapid pace?
Even the edges of my vision are going hazy at the thought.
This is why I don’t lose a wink of sleep doing the kind of work we do. We dispose of the scum of the earth, the trash that doesn’t deserve to go on taking up space.
“Amato was not displeased with his gift. He ordered his second-in-command to stand down and enjoy the entertainment.” His head shakes. “The alpha—Valor—went against orders and wiped out the entire Armenian visiting party. Well, he had help in the form of his bonded beta. I’m still confused about whether Valor and Omen are partners in the business sense or romantically. Not that it really matters. Except, according to the rules, you’d think the beta would be free to walk out of here at any time.”
Shaw always needs to know as many details as he can possibly find about any given thing. It helps set him at ease to know all the variables, but we can worry about that later. There are more important things to hash out.
“They didn’t participate?” I ask, glancing at the door.
“From the chatter I heard? No. Valor lost his shit, ruined the new truce, was so disconnected with reality that he killed a couple of Amato’s own guys in the fray, and his boss tossed him in here, blaming the betrayal on the fact he’s gone rabid.”
“Damn,” I whisper.
“Yeah,” Shaw says with a sigh. “I would have done the same thing. No way I could have stood by and watched that shit. It still doesn’t mean they’re safe for Saylor to be around. You saw the kind of damage that alpha is capable of…”
That, I did.
Seeing him drag those assholes out of the communal shower and out to the court earlier was eye-opening.
“I don’t want to be gone much longer. I told Saylor I’d be right back.” My eyes migrate to the door once more. “So, what’s the game plan?”
“I have no fucking clue,” Shaw deadpans. “None. I did not see any of this coming. There’s no way to assess them if they’re locked up in the hole, and in the meantime… I don’t fucking know.”
Yeah, that makes two of us.