Chapter Sixteen #4
Charlie twisted the napkin in her hands.
“I was surprised that he hadn’t been snapped up.
I mean he is good looking and serves his country.
I’m sure he has sexy, toned, glamorous women dropping to their knees for him.
You know—the opposite to me.” She smiled trying to hide her vulnerability as an image of Dominique flashed in her mind.
“Charlie! Don't put yourself down like that,” Mira said. The other women nodded in agreement. “You are beautiful.”
Charlie blushed. “Thank you.” She still found it hard to take compliments. “But look at him. At all of them. They’re all so... hot and...” She trailed off and picked up her drink.
“I get it, Charlie.” Sophie turned to face her.
“When Ryan first showed interest in me, I couldn’t understand why.
He is gorgeous and had a reputation when it came to women.
I’d seen it for myself. All these model types hanging onto his arm.
There I was, usually in scrubs, or a white coat with sensible shoes and little makeup.
But I have learned that as women, we can be way too critical of ourselves.
Ryan showed me that. Beauty is defined in many ways and these men, all men, have their own definition of beautiful.
As women I think we sometimes underestimate them.
Social media portrays that we all must be a size zero, big boobs, shiny hair, perfect nails for any man to be attracted to us.
It’s not true. Don’t assume what Donnie would be attracted to. ”
Charlie stared at the woman beside her. It seemed they had a lot in common.
“That was... wow. Very well said and true,” Mira said.
Sophie shrugged. “I get it. I used to feel invisible to men, and then Ryan came along and he made me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. We all have our insecurities. It’s why we need good girlfriends. We can call it like it is.”
Sophie really did get it. Charlie loved Maddie, always would. But Sophie seemed to really understand just what it was like to feel invisible. It felt good to know she wasn’t the only one to battle with doubts.
“And we are the best girlfriends. I can't imagine my life without you in it,” Diane said, and the women exchanged smiles. Charlie watched with a pang of envy. She had this with Maddie, but this group of women had a very special bond: their men.
“As for Donnie and the ladies,” Diane said. “Steve and he are pretty close, and Steve occasionally has loose lips.”
“Oh, do tell.” Kelly leaned forward.
“There’s not much to tell really. Not lately anyway.
Of course there have been women, but from what Steve says, no one important.
The past few months, from what I gather, there hasn't been anyone. He’s been hanging a lot at our place.
He adores Megan. He’ll make a great father one day.
In fact, the only girl Steve mentioned Donnie spoke about was his high school best friend's little sister.” Diane looked at Charlie. “I guess that’s you.”
Charlie’s eyes widened. “Really?”
“Yes. I believe he got permission to return late for duty, so he could stay in Toronto. That’s serious. These guys take their duty very seriously.”
Charlie didn't know what to say.
“Leaving you when your brother died was a shitty thing to do,” Kelly said softly.
“Maybe I shouldn't be defending him, but I love Donnie and have got to know him well. What he did was a long time ago. He was just nineteen and grieving. He’s older now and he’s owned it and apologized.
I don't see him doing it again. None of us are perfect. We all make mistakes.”
Mira added, “Like Kelly said, Donnie’s awesome and we love him.
If you and he get it together, then we get to see you more, which would be great.
He is going through a really rough time right now, so maybe all you need to do is be there as a friend, like you are.
When he gets through this, because he will get through this, you can see how you feel.
How he feels. I’m sure it hasn't been easy these past couple of days.”
“It’s been OK. He’s moody. Angry. Scared. I understand. I mean, I'm sure we’d all be the same if we suddenly couldn't see.”
All of them murmured agreement.
“And these guys aren’t used to asking for help,” Sophie said. “It’s this macho, ego thing.” She rolled her eyes, making Charlie smile.
“Thank you. All of you. It’s been good to talk about all of this,” Charlie said, warmth in her heart.
Never had she been surrounded by women who were genuinely interested, concerned and willing to listen without judgment.
She’d only ever had Maddie. Maddie had always accepted her as she was, but now these women did, too.
It was a feeling she wasn’t used to, and she loved it.
Wanted more of it. The team, these women were a family.
What would it be like to truly be a part of this?
Was she being too cautious? Maybe she should just tell Donnie how she felt.
“You're welcome. OK. This conversation has got way too heavy. I think it’s time we ordered an outrageous dessert,” Kelly said.
The women ordered some large ice cream thing with five spoons. This felt so good being here. It felt right. It felt like she belonged.