Chapter Seventeen
It was almost nine when Charlie got back to the condo. Ryan had picked her and Sophie up because they had had one too many margaritas. Diane had taken Mira and Kelly home.
Mackie opened the door, greeting her with a smile. “How was your night?”
“It was great. Thank you for setting it up.”
“Nothing to do with me. That was the ladies.” He grinned and closed the door after she stepped inside.
“How is he?” The television was on. Sounded like a ball game. Hopefully, Donnie was in a better mood. She was more than a little buzzed and she wasn’t ready for the happy feeling to end.
“He’s doing better. Come and see for yourself.”
Charlie followed him. Donnie sat on the couch, looking much more relaxed. A couple of empty beer bottles sat on the table.
“Hey Charlie. How was dinner?” Donnie asked, turning his head in her direction. He was smiling.
“It was fun. How was your evening?”
“Mine was good, too.” His smile stayed in place.
“Well, if you guys are set, I am going to head home,” Mackie said.
“Oh, OK.” Charlie looked nervously at him.
“Charlie? Do you not want to stay?” Donnie’s smile disappeared.
“No. I mean yes. I wasn't sure you wanted me too, after what I said earlier.” She really had no idea where they stood.
“Charlie, I want you to stay. I’d like to talk to you.”
“Stay. He’s good.” Mackie had mouthed the words, so Donnie didn't hear.
“Then I’ll stay.”
“OK, then. I’m going. You both know where to find me.” Mackie grabbed his keys and left.
“Can I get you anything?” Charlie asked, still a little nervous.
“No.” Donnie patted the cushion beside him. “Come and sit down.”
“One sec. I need some water.” The alcohol was wearing off and she did not want to get a headache.
“I think there’s beer and wine if you want.”
“Um. No thanks. Think I’ve had enough alcohol for one night.”
“Ahh. I heard there were a few cocktails flowing.”
Charlie sat beside him, putting the water on the table. “One or two. Or maybe four.” She giggled.
Donnie moved his hand toward her. She moved hers to meet his, and he squeezed gently. “I’m glad you had a good time. I’m sorry about earlier.”
He really sounded in a better mood.
“It’s OK. I can't imagine what you must be feeling. I’m sorry I snapped and then went out and had a good time. I feel terrible. That was so unfair.” Guilt overwhelmed her. She should have stayed here with him.
Donnie lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed it gently. “You did nothing wrong. I needed to hear what you said, and I’m glad you went out with the girls. I love that you are getting to know my friends.”
“You are?”
“Yes. You’re important to me, so I want you to get to know the other people I care about most.”
Charlie took a sip of water and looked at him. “What changed tonight?”
“I got a kick up the ass from my captain and I needed it. Everything you said earlier was right, too. I have a lot of great people around me, and tons of help and support. Sam pulled rank. Reminded me I was still part of the team and needed to get my shit together and not quit. Between the two of you, I finally got my head out of my ass.”
“You are going to see again, Donnie. Sophie said they're certain some sight will return.”
“I know. Sophie sent Dr. Swanson’s report over to Sam. Tyler looked at it tonight. I know he’s not a specialist, but he said the same. There’s no visible damage. It does look good. I got hung up on it not being good enough for me to stay on the team. Couldn't think of anything beyond that.”
“And now?” she asked softly.
“I don't know what the future holds. But Sam reminded me that even if I can't be a sniper, there are other things I can do, and we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Whatever happens, I’ll get through it.” He kissed the back of her hand again.
“Partly because of you. Thank you for being here.”
Her heart squeezed. She loved being here. Being with him. “I’m glad I’m here.”
“I don't want to lose you from my life again. I know being more than friends may not be possible now, even if you had changed your mind, but I am so damn grateful you are back in my life.”
She frowned. “What do you mean, may not be possible now?”
“Until my future is a little more certain, I would never burden you with this.”
“You think this changes things for me?” How could he think that? He was still Donnie.
“I have no idea what I will or won’t be able to do. I want you to have everything you want in your life. I don't want to be the man that holds you back. So, until I know the extent of this—”
“Do I not get a say in this?”
In frustration, she stood, pulling her hand away. “You left after Nate died because you said it was best for all of us. Here I thought we were finally getting past that and bam, the going gets tough and you’re running away from me again.”
“Charlie. No. I didn't mean it like that. I’m not running away. I... fuck. You deserve better than me. Than this.” He gestured to his eyes.
She knelt in front of him and cupped his face, looking into the eyes that couldn’t see her. He tensed.
“I’m not here out of pity. You are the same man I crushed on in high school.
The same man that stood up to my bullies.
The same man that never took advantage when I propositioned him ten years ago.
The same man who followed me to Toronto to apologize for leaving.
The same man that rocked my world in bed and made me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.
” She paused, placing a hand over his heart.
“You have the same heart,” she whispered.
“Whether your full sight returns or not, that’s never going to change. ”
His hands covered hers.
“Charlie, it would be too much to ask, I—”
“Let’s get one thing straight.” She softened her voice. “I do not care about your sight. Of course, I want you to get it back in full, but if you don’t, it will not change how I feel about you.”
The three little words were on the tip of her tongue, but she held on to them for now.
“You said you didn't trust me and that we could only be friends.” he said quietly.
“I did.”
“And now?”
“You said you wanted to prove to me you could be trusted.”
“I did.”
“You have something special here, Donnie. Dinner tonight was wonderful. The ladies made me feel so welcome. Your team made me feel welcome. They all love and respect you. I’ve only ever had Maddie. And you. You were the only other person outside my family that noticed me.” Her voice wobbled.
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” The shock was plain on his face.
Was she? She hadn't planned on saying any of this tonight, but it felt right.
She didn't give a damn about his sight. She wanted him.
Needed him. Loved him. Being here, talking to his teammates, and their women.
It had made her realize just how much she loved Donnie.
How much she wanted to be with him, even if it scared the hell out of her.
“I think so.”
***
FUCK. HE HATED THAT he couldn’t see her face.
“You think so?” he said softly.
“I know. Not very decisive, huh?” There was that nervous wobble in her voice again.
Her hands still cupped his face. He gently pulled them away, kissing both palms. The warmth of her skin against his lips made his cock twitch. The smell of her shampoo, that flowery scent that was all her, filled his nostrils. He pictured those beautiful blue eyes and soft blond curls.
“It’s OK. I get why you’re hesitant. I’m the one that has the work to do to earn your trust. What changed your mind?”
Hell, she had even more reason not to be with him now, and yet here she was telling him none of it mattered.
“When you were gone and I didn't hear from you, I was going out of my mind with worry. Then when I heard you were hurt, I knew I had to get to you. To be here. Not because I feel sorry for you, but because of how much I care about you. How much I’ve always cared about you. I’ve never felt this way about anyone.
Not even Simon. I thought I loved him, but my feelings for you have already shown me that I didn't love him. I’m scared, Donnie.
Scared I’m going to fall so hard for you, and you’ll leave.
But I’m also scared that if I don’t give us a chance, I’m going to regret it for the rest of my life. I want you, Donnie.”
Donnie swallowed down the lump in his throat. He didn't need to see to know she was crying. He fumbled a bit finding her face, working on the recall of where her mouth was by where he’d heard her speak from, but finally he wiped her tears away with his thumbs.
“I want you, too.” His voice was husky. “I want you in my life. I want to be the man you trust your heart with. Those feelings you talk about, I feel the same. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before either.
I swear to you I won’t ever disappear on you again.
I will never leave you. Not a chance in fucking hell.
If you give me your heart, I’ll do everything I can to fill it with love every damn day. ”
She sniffed but didn’t speak.
“God, I wish I could see you right now.”
“See me through your touch.” Charlie whispered and Donnie didn't hesitate. Leaning forward, he aimed for a kiss, finding the corner of her mouth first. Then, following the curve of her lips, stretching into a smile he could almost see in his mind’s eye, he brushed his lips across hers. Immediately, she kissed him back.
Pulling her onto his lap, he sat back on the sofa and threaded his hands into her hair as he claimed her mouth.
It was warm, inviting and he could taste something sweet.
Strawberry? His tongue entwined with hers and his whole body came alive.
Their kisses had been intense before, but damn, this was different.
The feel of her, the smell of her. The taste of her was magnified beyond anything he’d ever felt before, setting every cell in him on fire.
Slowly, he broke the kiss, not taking his hands from her hair. “I could kiss you all night.”
He pictured her lips pink and swollen, recalling them from their one night together.