12. Chapter 12
Chapter 12
Jamison
I had gone through every drawer and cabinet in the house, and their contents were strewn everywhere, but I still couldn’t find Darcie’s vaccination record or birth certificate anywhere. “Where the hell could they be?” I said under my breath as I threw shit out of my way so I could get deeper into the hall closet. I finally found the file boxes I was looking for.
Thank God.
I crouched down and started rifling through the papers and documents. “They’ve got to be here. I’ve looked everywhere else.”
Nope. No luck. “Fuck . ”
“Good Lord, did a tornado come through your house, Jamison?”
I stuck my head out of the closet as my mom, and Darcie came into the hall entry. “Shit, is it lunch already?”
“Daddy, you owe me money. Money. Money.” Darcie sang as she skipped in a circle. My shoulders drooped, and I stood. “Okay, princess. I do.” I pulled my wallet out of my pocket and gave her the dollar all cuss words cost. You’d think I would have learned by now.
“I bet she almost has her first year of college paid for, and she hasn’t even started kindergarten.” My mother let out her loud cackle laugh as she went into the kitchen.
I didn’t need her humor right now. “Yeah, whatever, Mom.” My words were clipped with irritation.
“What’s wrong with you?” she asked.
“Oh, nothing serious,” I said as I took two glasses and a plastic princess cup for Darcie from the cabinet. It was her favorite and the only thing she liked to drink out of at this current moment. Last month, it was a cowboy cup she took from Bryson and Darlene’s. Who knew what it would be next week. “I just can’t find Darcie’s birth certificate or vaccination record. I know I got it from the pediatrician when we went for her kindergarten appointment, but I have no clue where I put it, and we have to have it to register her.” I placed the princess cup on the counter with enough force the contents spilled on the table.
“Bless your heart, baby. What am I going to do with you?” My mom tsk tsked her tongue and grabbed a paper towel to clean up the mess.
“Don’t know, Mom, but I’m sure you have no choice but to keep me around for a little longer.”
“That’s right, Jamison. I wouldn’t know what to do without you. She patted me on the cheek, reached into the oversized bag, and pulled out a yellow envelope.
My brows raised. Now I remembered. I couldn’t find it because she’d gone with me, and I’d asked her to take the papers with her. I was scared I’d misplace them before kindergarten registration. I wasn’t the organized one in the family. That was Carly’s specialty. I was more of an out of sight out of mind kind of person, and every drawer in the house had demonstrated that issue perfectly until recently. They were all filled to the rim with absolute junk.
“Thanks. I guess you have a purpose, Mom.” I gave her a tight hug. “I know for a fact I’d be lost without you.”
She hugged me tightly. “I’m always here for the two of you, but I have no doubt someone will steal your heart again one day, and then I won’t be needed as much.”
A rock seemed to wedge itself beside my heart, which was already taken and filled to the brim with love for Carly and Darcie. Lilly crept into my thoughts at that very moment, but I shook it away. I wasn’t ready to go there. Not yet, anyway. “Don’t expect it too soon.”
“I’ll never rush you, honey. Do you want me to go to the school with you tonight?”
I shook my head. “No, thank you. I’m finished with work for the day, so I’m going to go with Bryson and Darlene. Darlene wants to get a picture of Darcie and James together on registration day.” I put the envelope by my keys so I’d remember to take it. “But if you want to go, you know we would love to have you.”
“Nope, it’s alright. I’m going to the salon and get my nails done and talk with the girls.”
Just then, Darcie came skipping into the kitchen, dressed in her favorite green sundress. I loved her in that dress. It brought out the green in her eyes.
“Good timing, baby girl. Gramma’s leaving.” My mom gave Darcie a hug and kisses. “Have fun today. I know you’re going to be turning all the little boys’ heads looking as pretty as you are.”
Darcie scrunched up her face. “Ew. Boys are gross.”
“You don’t think James is gross,” my mom said.
“He’s not a boy. He’s my cousin. Totally different.”
I chuckled as she hopped onto the barstool, and I slid a plate with her peanut butter and jelly sandwich and her cup of milk in front of her.
My mom gave her a kiss on the head and patted my arm. “Have fun, you two, and send me pictures.”
I assured her we would and settled down on the stool next to Darcie to eat my sandwich as well.
Soon enough, I pulled up beside Bryson’s truck at Orlinda Valley Elementary. “You ready, princess?” I got out and went around to open Darcie’s door. She wasn’t even out of her seatbelt yet and was picking at her fingernails, a nervous habit of hers that I had recently noticed had gotten worse. I crouched down so I could see her better. “What’s up, princess? I can tell something’s bothering you.”
Her eyes glistened with tears when she turned toward me. My heart fell. I brushed away a lone tear as it fell silently down her cheek. “Talk to me, Darce.”
“I’m scared, Daddy,” she said, her voice soft. “What if I don’t have any friends, and what if my teacher doesn’t like me?”
My heart ached for her, “Darce, this is just registration.” I brushed hair off her forehead. “We are going to fill out some forms and go see the kindergarten classrooms. You aren’t staying today,” I lifted her chin so her eyes met mine. “I know school can be scary, but you already know so many kids and have so many friends. And Kora and Aunt Darlene are teachers here, so if you ever need anything, you know you can go to them.”
I tugged lightly on her arm until she was out of her booster seat and standing at the door. She was small enough to be able to stand and lean out of it, and I held her around the waist as she wiped at her face. “You’re smart, and kind, and polite, and funny. I have no doubt you will love school. I know you’re ready.”
Her green eyes met mine, and sadness reflected back at me. “But, Daddy”—Her voice was soft and shaky— “I’ll miss you. What if you get sad because Mommy’s not around, and I’m not around? Who will take care of you?”
There it was. She was thinking about me. I felt a vice grip my heart. I picked her up and squeezed her tight. “I’ll be fine. I’ll miss you like crazy, but you need to grow up. And as a daddy, I’ve had to prepare to let you go a little. I’ll be here to pick you up or wait for you at home every day. And we’ll eat dinner and tell each other about every second.” I gave her what I hoped was a proud smile, though my insides were clenching and tearing apart. I thought I’d have the hardest time with my baby growing up, but it looked like we were both struggling to let each other go.
“Darcie,” a tiny voice called from across the lot, and a smile filled Darcie’s face.
Madeline skipped her way to us, and Darcie wiggled out of my arms. They were attracted to each other like magnets, and the sadness was wiped immediately from Darcie’s face.
My gaze fell on Lilly. Her dark hair was pulled back from her face, and she wore a blue and white flowered sun dress which fell just below her knees. It hugged her waist slightly, and I couldn’t miss how amazing she looked. My eyes dropped briefly to her soft lips. “Hey.” I breathed out the word as they approached.
Her face was lit up with a smile which met her eyes. “Hey, back. These two are excited.” She laughed.
“It seems like it.” I held up a finger to get them to wait while I got the envelope from the front seat and locked the truck. “Come on, girls.”
They walked hand in hand ahead of us. “You look nice.” Nice? Was that the best word I could use to describe Lilly? She was better than nice. I sighed heavily and hoped we wouldn’t be uncomfortable with each other because of the kiss, or whatever this pull was between us.
“Thank you. Is everything okay?”
“Believe it or not, Darcie was upset right before y’all appeared. She doesn’t want to leave me. She’s scared I’ll be lonely.” I glanced quickly at Lilly.
“That’s sweet,” she said, as she touched my arm lightly. “She’ll be fine, and so will you.”
The warmth of her fingers went straight to my vice-gripped heart, and it calmed noticeably. “I know. I just didn’t expect to do all this alone.”
“You’re not alone, Jamison. I’m here for you.” Lilly pulled open the door, and Bryson, Darlene, and James were waiting inside. “And so are they.” Lilly smiled, as I reached around her for the door. My arm brushed against her shoulders, and a sense of calm fell over me.