21. Chapter 21
Chapter 21
Lilly
A rush of both excitement and confusion washed over me, leaving a warm tingling sensation in my stomach. When I thought of coming home, I never considered I’d start a relationship with Jamison. But here we were like we didn’t have separate lives for the past decade.
I thought back to Tuesday afternoon. Being with him, in his bed. The feel of his body against mine. The pulse of him inside me. It was so familiar, yet totally new as well—then our discussion Wednesday. My brother setting him up. Stephanie still wanting him.
The crushing weight of jealousy caused my stomach to churn.
I sighed heavily. Was I ready for these feelings? For a relationship? I walked to the mantel and looked at the pictures sitting there. He had the same one we all had of our entire extended family at his father, Carl’s, funeral. Next to it was a picture of his family: Tonya and Carl, his brothers, and Darlene and Carly. It was obvious by the smiles that filled their faces, everyone was happy. Everyone but Rowan. His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.
I heard Jamison’s footsteps as he approached and felt his presence before he placed his hand gently on my back. “When was this picture taken?” I asked and held up the one of his family.
He took it from me and admired it, his face filled with both laughter and sadness. “That was the Christmas before my dad died.”
“Rowan doesn’t look happy,” I said.
“No. He wasn’t. He only came home because Mom practically begged him to. He hadn’t been home for a Christmas in years.” He shook his head. “Bryson and Rowan couldn’t be in the same room together when they were kids, but it got so much worse, and I was tired of it. Right before this was taken, I told them both to grow up. It was getting old, how they treated each other, and Rowan had been acting like a big baby. He had so many issues with Bryson that he even chose to miss his wedding.”
Jamison continued. “At least he was there for Dad’s last Christmas. He’d really have issues if he would have stayed away.” He placed the frame back on the mantel. “It doesn’t matter. He seems to be in a good head space, finally. Maybe he’ll come home for Kora and Kai’s wedding. He’s actually thinking about it.”
“It sucks that they both acted so horribly your dad’s last Christmas.”
“No kidding. My mom pulled them both to the side the weekend of the funeral and told them that if they couldn’t act civil for the weekend, they needed to leave. She wasn’t going to deal with their shit.”
“I noticed they were both quieter than usual, but I just thought it was because of the situation.”
“That was part of it, I’m sure.” He rubbed his hands on my arms and moved closer.
The tingle that swept through my body was electric, and my heart skipped when our eyes met.
“Lilly, I know you want us to be friends, and I do, too, but I can’t ignore whatever this is between us.”
He brushed his thumb across my bottom lip, his eyes fixed there, then slowly pulled his eyes back to mine. “I don’t need any more time to know what I want. I want us to be more than friends. I want you.”
His gaze held mine, and my heart fluttered wildly. Jamison wants me, and damn, the feeling is so mutual. I touched my lips softly to his. I couldn’t help it. How he was looking at me and the feelings stirring within my body—I laced my fingers behind his neck and pulled him closer as our tongues met. He brushed my hair away from my shoulder and cupped my face in his strong hands. They made me feel desired and safe.
The kiss was intense, deep, filled with need. I couldn’t remember being kissed by anyone like this—well, anyone in the past eleven years since the last time his lips were on mine.
He broke the kiss long enough to lead me to the couch. I sat next to him, and we immediately picked up where we had left off. Heat pulsed through my body. I wanted him so badly, but . . . I pulled away slightly. “Jamison. The girls.”
His eyes opened, he let out a heavy breath and caressed my cheek. “I know, I know.” He placed a kiss there, then traveled to my chin before he pulled away a small smile on his lips.
I couldn’t ignore my heart, how it raced, and the tingle that filled my body. The look of desire in his gaze.
The muscle in his jaw ticked. He leaned away, and his hands slid to my thighs. I searched his face and tried to make out his expression, but there was so much there I couldn’t understand. “What?” I asked as my heart thumped.
Jamison shook his head. “Bryson and I were talking the other day, and he told me I needed to move on, that Carly would want me to be happy. Lance made it obvious, too, with him trying to fix me up.”
“You could have said you weren’t ready instead of agreeing to meet them tomorrow night.”
Jamison’s gaze met mine. “I might have if I knew how you felt.”
The seconds ticked by as his gaze bore into mine. My heart practically beat out of my chest.
“How do you feel, Lilly? Because I want them all to know I’m crazy about you. I don’t care. They want me happy—us happy—and I’m happy when you’re around.” His thumb traced my jaw. “Maybe if we tell people, we’ll feel better about it. We won’t feel guilty.”
“Guilt? Do you feel guilty?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“Why?”
He shrugged. “Because of Carly. Lance. Our mothers. You just out of a marriage.”
I kissed him. Not desperate like before, but focused and caring. I lingered on his lips a moment before separating, then stayed millimeters from him. “What do you feel now? This second?”
His eyes grazed over my face. “It feels right. I feel whole. Like I haven’t felt in a long, long time.” His lips met mine. The kiss was hungrier than before, yet gentle and sweet.
My heart soared, and a smile filled my face. “Me too,” I breathed. I brushed my hand across his chin and his five o’clock shadow. “I want us together. I want you.”
His smile filled his face, and he let out a breath. “Thank God. You had me worried.” He gently rubbed my thighs. And sat up straight. “Let’s do it.” His face lit up.
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. His expression was contagious. “Do what?”
“Tell them.” He threw his hands up.
“Tell who, and tell them what?”
“You tell Rose and Kristy. I’ll tell Bryson and Kai. We’ll start with the easy people. The ones we know will support us without drama.”
He looked as excited as a kid on Christmas, and he was just as adorable.
“Tell them what exactly?” I asked and scooted to the edge of the couch.
“Wow. I don’t know.” Our eyes met. “Shit, Lilly. Let’s keep it simple and tell them the truth.”
“Lance?” I asked.
“Moms next, then Lance. If we get all of them supporting us, they can bring Lance around.”
“How about we come clean tomorrow night at Tonya’s barbecue?” I suggested.
“That sounds perfect.” His excitement was contagious, and he kissed me again.
“Does this mean your date on Saturday is canceled?” I asked.
“Without a doubt.”
I was sure a smile was going to be a permanent fixture on my face.