9. Dont Be A Poor Loser
CHAPTER 9
Don't Be A Poor Loser
H eath wanted to follow Addy into the house and straight into her bedroom. He wanted to lock the door and shut out the world for a year or two.
Instead, he hugged Addy close and kissed her hair. “I’d like to do that again.” A million times over.
Her laugh warmed him. “Me too.”
He squeezed her and then kissed her lightly, and took her hand to exit the utility room. Her small hand still felt perfect in his.
At the door to the house, he squeezed her hand and released it, guessing she’d rather keep that bit private for now. She patted his chest and reached up to kiss him quickly, then opened the door and headed inside.
Nina had three mugs on the counter with infusers in them. She didn’t look up as she poured. “I hope you like apple cinnamon. It’s decaf, so you’ll be able to sleep.”
With his body craving Addy, he had his doubts about that. “Sounds good to me.”
The house was downright chilly, but he watched Addy check the heat pumps. “They’re on now. It won’t take long to warm up. But we’ve plenty of blankets to snuggle with.” Her cheeks flushed as she said that, her eyes dancing and locked on his.
Nina grabbed her own mug, and he took the other two. It seemed completely natural to set the mugs together on the table and sit on the couch. Addy didn’t hesitate to sit beside him. Instead of taking the chair, Nina sat on Addy’s other side and tossed a blanket over all of their legs.
He lifted his arm to the back of the couch, and Addy settled into his side. Hoping to distract his body from having her right there, he looked around the room again. “Wait. You don’t have a TV?”
His girls laughed when he looked at them. Addy shrugged. “I had other priorities and never thought it was worth the expense.”
Nina waved her cell phone. “I can watch what I like on here.”
“And what do you like to watch?” It wasn’t a polite question. He really wanted to know.
“I don’t actually watch shows that much. I enjoy checking out videos about people working with animals and artisans showing how they make their crafts. There are a few comedies that are okay, but I find most of them boring. I do like classic cartoons, though. Mostly, I’d rather read fiction than watch it.”
He reached over to tug on her hair. And that brought Addy closer to him. Bonus. “Like mother, like daughter.”
“Have you read any of Mom’s books?”
He shook his head, embarrassed. “I didn’t know she was an author until today. Or yesterday. It’s all kind of a blur of what I learned when.” Because he’d been on information and emotional overload.
Beneath the blanket, Addy squeezed his thigh and left her hand there. Torture. Wonderful, but torture. And he didn’t want to move a muscle in case she removed it.
Nina looked at him as if he was an alien. “Wow. Okay. Hang on.”
She bounced off the couch and jogged from the room, making him chuckle. “Does she have a slow speed?”
“Not from the moment she learned to crawl.” Addy laughed and then sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to make you sad.” And she patted his thigh again.
He shrugged. “I’m always going to be sad about missing out on her birth and childhood. But I want to hear it all. When she crawled and walked. When she called you Mom for the first time. How she reacted when she ate green beans in her high chair. I want to know everything.”
Nina came in with a stack of books. “I love green beans. Do you?”
He nodded with a smile, hoping she wanted to know about him as much as he wanted to know about her. Then, the stack of books in her hand registered. He sat up straighter. “You wrote all of those?”
Addy’s face flushed. “You didn’t have to bring them all out, Zaagi .”
Heath remembered that word. Zaagi meant love or treasure in Ojibwe. She’d used that word for him once upon a time. He wanted to hear it from her lips while he thrust deep into her.
And he blinked hard and pulled that thought from his head and back to his daughter. No getting erections when Nina was two feet away.
Nina divided the books into piles on the table. “Mom’s first book deal was this one.” She pointed at a hardcover entitled A Kid Having A Kid . “She started a blog with that title when she was pregnant. It got really popular, and they offered her a book deal.”
Pride radiated from Nina even as her smile dimmed. “Some of it’s sad because she was alone and scared. But it shows how brave and strong she was.”
Addy angled her head to hide behind her hair again, and Nina patted the blanket briskly and moved on.
Heath had to pull in deep breaths to deal with the zing of sorrow in his own chest. And pain. So much pain. She’d been alone because he hadn’t been there. She’d probably been scared for a lot of reasons, but some of those would have been connected to him and her lack of money. Both things he would have fixed for her. If only his parents hadn’t been assholes. If only he’d tried harder.
Nina helped bring the moment out of deep emotion territory by picking up small books made of thick cardboard. “Then she made these when I was a baby. She wanted me to know the Ojibwe language and culture. She got a book deal for those as well.”
Then the author name on the books registered. An internet search wouldn’t have brought these up.“These list the author as A. Migizi. You use a pen name. A for Addison, I assume, but I don’t think I’ve heard the name Migizi before. Does it have a special meaning?”
Addy squirmed on the couch. “We don’t have to look at these.” She’d always hated being the center of attention, but both he and Nina ignored her attempt to change the subject.
Nina helped him out. “Migizi is the Ojibwe word for eagle. Mom said she chose it because eagles aren’t afraid of anything. She wanted to be like them. Strong and courageous. Protective and family oriented.”
Addy’s face flushed and Heath’s heart filled with pride and amazement. “You chose well, Addy. You’re all of those things.”
She smiled and her eyes misted. Instead of kissing her, he pulled his attention back to Nina and the rest of the books. “And those ones?”
Nina grinned. “These are picture books she wrote and Nimii illustrated. A lot of them feature a girl named Binesi, which means thunderbird. She sometimes gets called Bini for short. And Bini’s in these books as well. They’re adventure books.” They looked like books that were a stepping-stone between picture books and full-sized novels.
She pointed to the final book, which was a binder of printer paper. “And this is the new series. It’s a dystopian futuristic series where people have let technology overtake their lives. Ziigwan, or Zigi, is the main character. She has to figure out who killed her parents and who wants to kill her by escaping into the woods and learning how to survive there when she’s never been out of a city. She’s not finished this one yet, but it’s awesome.”
Addy laughed. “You might be a tiny bit biased, Nina.”
Nina grinned. “Definitely. But it is really good.”
Heath stared in wonder as he brushed his hands over the books. “You’re amazing. You always were the best storyteller I knew. I’m not in the least bit surprised you figured out how to make a living from your talent. I’m so damn proud of you, Addy. You took a difficult situation and you’ve done nothing but thrive. And you raised a spitfire along the way. You’re absolutely amazing.”
His voice choked up as he spoke, but he didn’t care. He wouldn’t hide his emotions from either of these two.
Nina grinned. “She is.” Her phone buzzed, and she stood. “I’m going to talk with Nat for a minute about our project.”
When she bounced out of the room, Heath didn’t waste any time wrapping his arms around Addy, who burrowed in. He leaned down to whisper. “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone as strong and determined as you. I look at everything you’ve accomplished, and my only regret is that I missed it all.”
Addy’s breathing hitched, and he knew she was holding in tears. He used his hand to brush along her jaw and she looked up, eyes shining.
She was everything. He lowered his head and kissed her.
A ddy jumped when the buzzer rang beside her. When would she learn to react to the quieter timers instead of ignoring them so that she wouldn’t jump out of her chair with the obnoxious buzzer?
Reluctantly, she stayed standing to save and backup her work. The story was flying out of her brain and onto the screen. She hoped it wasn’t her general happiness about life that made her think the story was better than it really was.
“Mom. Mr. Adamson is pulling up the driveway.”
Because, of course, he was. Addy looked down at herself with a sigh. The words had been calling when she woke, so she’d brushed her teeth and sat down to work.
Today’s pajamas sported crocodiles playing badminton, and the fuzzy sweater was a contrasting purple. Along with unbrushed hair and her polar bear slippers, she was a walking advertisement for chaos.
She didn’t have time to even think about changing when Jonas knocked on the door. With a sigh, she opened it. “Hello, Jonas.”
His eyebrows shot up, and he frowned at her. “Are you all right? Are you sick? What do you need? How can I help?”
That made Addison laugh. “I’m fine. I just got caught up working.”
He looked her over again, frown remaining in place. “Are you sure?”
When she nodded, he mimicked the movement but didn’t appear convinced. “I see you don’t have your car back. You said things were under control, but you don’t have it back. Can I help?”
She resisted rolling her eyes. “Things are under control, but thank you for your concern. It’s going to be a few days until I get it back, but it’s not a problem.” Graham Buchanan was out of town for a few days on a training session for Midnight Lake, but he would take care of the car once he was back. He’d had his buddies tow it to the sawmill on their property, where he had his mechanic’s area.
“I can drive you wherever you need.”
She smiled. “Thank you, but we’re fine. It may not look like it, but things really are under control.”
At that moment, Heath’s car turned into the driveway. If this wasn’t a reminder to her brain to respond to the first timer, she didn’t know what was.
Reminding her sharply of Nina, Heath bounced out of the car with a huge grin on his face. Where Jonas had looked over her outfit with a frown, Heath’s smile only grew as he checked her out.
Ignoring Jonas, he leaned in and brushed a kiss over her cheek. “I like the look.”
She was smiling when Heath’s body language changed, and he turned. “Jonas.” His voice was cool, as was his nod.
She wanted to tell him to stop acting like Jonas was a rival. The man was simply offering to help them out. With a smile, she tugged Heath closer. “Thanks for checking on us, Jonas. You’re a good neighbor. I’ll see you later. Thanks again.”
He nodded at her and moved to his car, frowning at Heath, who put his hand on her lower back and ushered her inside. “While you look incredibly cozy, I think you’ll be warmer inside.” And then they were inside and he closed the door, looking smug.
Addy laughed and rolled her eyes. “You might lose your King Of Manners title if you keep treating Jonas like a beetle.” Heath’s unrepentant grin had her shaking her head, but she was still smiling.
“I don’t like the way he looks at you.”
“Like a neighbor he feels responsible for?”
Heath shrugged and ran his hand up the sleeve of her fuzzy sweater. “How’d the writing go this morning?”
She gestured at her outfit. “Great. I wrote right through two timers before the deadline buzzer scared me half to death.”
He frowned. “I don’t want you putting aside your work for me.”
And this was one reason she loved him. “I’m not. I set the timers all the time otherwise I forget all kinds of things.”
Nina popped into the kitchen with a cheerful smile. “Mom would keep writing through a natural disaster if the words were going well. She wouldn’t even notice if the roof flew away in the wind.”
“Hey.”
Nina grinned. “Are you going to tell me that’s not true?”
Well, she couldn’t argue with that, so she just shrugged.
Heath and Nina both laughed, warming her heart again. “I’ll be back in a minute. I’m going to go get dressed.”
“Don’t change on my account. I like the alligators.”
Laughing, she moved into her bedroom. She liked the alligators too, but she switched them out for leggings and a sweatshirt long enough to cover her butt. She brushed her hair and put her slippers back on. After the kisses they’d shared, she didn’t feel the need to be anyone but herself.
They’d decided to do a family game day and to make pizzas together for supper. Heath had insisted on picking up all the ingredients from Phail Phoods before he arrived.
She found Nina sitting on her beanbag chair on the floor beside the coffee table and Heath in the middle of the couch. She slipped into the spot beside him, and he grinned at her. “Nice shirt.”
“Thanks.” This one had Story Teller written across the front with Ojibwe art surrounding the words. It was one of her favorites. “What are we playing?”
Nina grinned. “Yahtzee first. He’s a money guy, so he should be good with numbers. We’ll see if he can keep up.”
Heath pointed at Nina. “You’re on, Spitfire. You’re going down.”
Nina held her own, but Heath won that one. Nina smashed them both in Scategories. Everyone won a round of Clue. Addison took Scrabble. And Heath destroyed them both in Risk.
Her favorite was Would You Rather? The questions were hilarious, but it gave them fabulous insights into each other and she could see Heath committing Nina’s thoughts to memory. He gobbled up all the information about her that he could. A sponge for information, like his daughter.
Nina flopped back on her beanbag chair. “That was so much fun, but I’m starving. Can we make the pizzas now?”
They moved easily together, laughing and teasing as they made and topped their own pizzas. Heath grinned at hers. “Still love the mushrooms, do you?”
Addy nodded. “Best pizza ever.” She’d loaded it with three varieties of mushrooms and a sprinkle of Feta on the top.
When Heath took a pineapple out of the bag he’d brought, Nina laughed. “You’re one of those pineapple-on-pizza guys?”
“Absolutely. I could never talk your mom into it. You brave enough to try?”
Nina grinned. “Of course. I make mine different every time. You brave enough to try pickles on yours?”
Heath’s eyebrows shot up. “Pickles?”
Nina grinned and waited.
Heath shrugged. “Toss some on there, Spitfire, and we’ll see.”
Nina grinned, obviously loving both the nickname and the teasing.
Addy’s eyes misted with tears, and she turned to the sink to hide her emotions. This was everything she’d dreamed of when she’d learned she was pregnant. Could they really have it all? Could those old dreams come true after all this time?
As they were eating, Heath’s face turned serious. “I’m going to head to Boston this week.”
Nina’s face dropped. “You’re leaving?”
Heath reached over to grab her hand even as Addison’s stomach dropped. Heath took her hand as well. “No. Well, yes, but not the way you’re thinking.”
He took a deep breath. “I need to go for a few days for a couple of reasons. For one thing, I need to pack a bigger bag. I didn’t know you’d both be here, and I only packed a small duffel for a couple of days.”
Relief coursed through her. He wasn’t leaving them.
Heath squeezed both of their hands. “You’re both too important to me. I won’t ever leave for any length of time. But I need to bring my things here and close up some business stuff I have going on. I can do most of my work online and with the phone, but I need to do a few things in person.”
He huffed out a breath. “And I need to talk to my parents. I think I’m almost calm enough to speak to them. But I have to find out what they did and why. I lost a dozen years of having you two in my life, and I can never forgive them for that. But I need to have the conversation.”
Addison gulped back the tears, but they streamed down Nina’s face. She blinked at Heath. “You’re really sad about not knowing us, aren’t you?”
Heath nodded, his own eyes watery. “More sad than I’ve ever been about anything. I can’t get that time back, and it hurts.”
Nina threw herself at Heath and wrapped her arms around him as she cried. “I’m sad and angry too. I wish you’d always been here.”
That had Addy’s tears loosening and Heath’s as well. She stood and moved to wrap her arms around them both.
Her whisper was fierce. “We can’t change the past, but we can make sure we get the most out of every day from now on.”
Heath nodded. “Agreed. Every day. We find the best in every day.”
Addy’s heart nearly burst with joy. And she realized she was thinking of herself as Addy again. Another thing she’d lost. Another thing she could regain.
Along with her family.