10. Find Your Way
CHAPTER 10
Find Your Way
T he school his daughter attended was over in the next town, so Heath offered to pick her up from their house in the morning to bring her. Apparently, there was a small bus she normally took, but he wanted to spend time with her, especially when he was planning to head to Boston for an overnight visit.
He pulled into the driveway, happy when Nina didn’t bounce right out because he’d hoped to see Addy as well. He knocked on the door and grinned when she opened it with a smile on her face.
She gestured him in, but he reached out to hold the door in place and brushed a kiss over her lips before they were visible in case Nina was close by.
Her smile widened, and it took another second for her to open the door. He grinned down at her outfit. Rainbows covered today’s flannel pants, and a soft blue fuzzy sweater wrapped around her lithe body. He loved that she didn’t feel the need to change her routine because he was showing up. Nina wasn’t visible, but he kept his voice low. “I’m starting to have a thing for flannel.”
She laughed as her face flushed. “I like to be comfy when I write.”
“I approve.”
Nina danced into the room. “Good morning. How cold is it out there? Do I need mittens?”
He grinned, feeling ridiculously pleased that his daughter wanted his opinion on the weather. “Not as bad as the other day, but the wind chill is brisk.”
Nina nodded. “Mittens it is.” Then she quickly packed a lunch box with containers from the fridge and shoved it in her backpack with some books and a binder. “Okay. I’m ready. Write like the wind today, Mom.”
Then she led the way out the door. They’d already made plans to make supper together again, so he managed to pull himself away without another kiss. He’d thought about sneaking back after dropping Nina at school, but Addy had talked about deadlines, and he needed to talk with his friends about their business. His head was spinning with ideas. All of them good and exciting and comforting. They would all keep him in Phail permanently.
Once they were in the car, Nina turned in her seat. “Have you read any of Mom’s books?”
“The ones I borrowed from you yesterday?”
She laughed. “I guess there hasn’t been much time.”
He shrugged as he pulled onto the road. “I started with her A Kid Having A Kid book last night.”
“That’s a hard one. How far did you get?”
“I finished it. Your mom is an amazing person and a fabulous author.”
“I know. She wouldn’t let me read it until after my birthday this year. Said some of the stuff was too adult for me.”
“Some of it must have been a tough read for you.”
She nodded. “For you, too.”
Man, she was perceptive. “It was. Guilt has been swirling around in my gut since I saw her in that parking lot the other day. The book made it worse, but also better.”
“What do you mean?”
Needing to put his whole self into the conversation, Heath pulled over onto a quiet road and turned on his hazard lights.
He turned to Nina. “I feel so much guilt that she went through pregnancy alone until she met Nimii. I mean, people were there, but no one who really cared about her.”
Nina’s eyes glistened, and she nodded. When she didn’t speak, he continued. “I know your mom and I both had very good reasons to believe the other didn’t care anymore, but I have so many regrets. What if I’d come back to town? What if I’d asked friends to check on her? There were things I could have done differently. Should have done differently. I lost so much, and I didn’t even know it.”
“She always told me you were a good man. That something had to have happened. One day, I complained about putting together the yearly parcel for you when you obviously wanted nothing to do with me. I said I hated you.”
A knife sliced its way into Heath’s heart, and he rubbed his chest to ease the ache.
Nina wiped away a tear. “Mom said that you weren’t the kind of person who could be hated. She said that you were kind and protective. That when circumstances were right, we’d get a chance to meet, and I’d see that she was right.”
Addy had written similar words in her book, never bashing him for leaving her alone. “Your mom’s a pretty generous soul.”
Nina nodded seriously. “She is. Mom’s the best person I know. And she was right to believe in you. You aren’t a jerk. You never were. And at least we got a chance to meet.”
Heath couldn’t help himself. He reached across the console and hugged Nina tightly. “You’re very much like Addy. Fierce and strong and kind. Thank you, Nina. I hate having missed out on your childhood, but I’m so damn glad to have found you. I love you.”
Her small arms wrapped around him, and he felt her trembling. Her voice shook as she whispered her question. “Can I call you Dad?”
His own body shook. “I would love that.” Then he laughed. “You have no idea how much I would love that.”
She grinned up at him. “I think I do. Whenever you say my daughter , it makes me feel good, too.” Then she blew out a breath. “Okay, let’s try this out. Put the car in gear, Dad. I don’t want to be late.”
Laughing, he squeezed her hand. “Okay, Spitfire. Whatever my daughter needs, she gets.”
Once he was on the road, she shocked him again. “I think you should ask Mom to go with you to Boston.”
His head whipped to the side, then back to the road. “What? Why?”
Nina’s face flushed, and she shrugged. “You’re going to do a really hard thing. Mom’s going to worry about you, and it might be easier for you if she’s there. I can stay with Nimii and Ginny for a couple of days. Plus, I think she likes you. Well, obviously, she likes you. She always has. But I think you like her too. Anyway, I think she should go with you.”
He was still floating on the good vibes when he walked into Phail General after he’d dropped off Nina. His daughter was worried about him. And she was definitely matchmaking him and Addy. For the first time in a long time, he was excited and hopeful about the future.
“What’s got you smiling, Slick?”
He shrugged. “Just dropped Nina off at school and feeling like a real dad.”
Troy grinned. “That’s awesome. She’s a great kid. I can’t believe I didn’t put it together before. She might look a lot like Addison, but there’s enough of you in there now that I know about the connection. Wish I’d seen it sooner.”
Heath felt the same, but maybe things had happened the way they were supposed to. Time to turn the topic. “I want to know more about what you guys have been planning without me. Which isn’t what good friends do, by the way.”
Troy simply laughed. “We’ve been extending invitations for a year, Slick. Not our fault that you were slow to respond.”
And that nearly made him sick again. He’d wasted a year.
Troy’s face sobered. “Sorry. Didn’t mean it that way. You’re here now, and it’s all going to work out for the best. You’ll see.”
He sure as hell hoped so. He didn’t know how he would cope if it didn’t.
A ddison hadn’t been back to Boston since she’d left with Nimii all those years ago to raise her daughter in Phail.
The city held so many memories. Those ranged from miserable to wonderful and stopped everywhere in between. The most powerful, both good and bad, revolved around the man driving beside her.
The three-hour trip had flown by easily. Conversation had never been a challenge for the two of them. Neither had silence.
She’d been more comfortable with Heath than with anyone else in her life except Nina. Even Nimii and Ginny. With Heath, she’d been herself and for the first time, she’d been enough.
She could feel Heath’s tension rise as they moved through the city. “Tell me more about your business. Not the financial structure stuff Nina finds fascinating, but the reasons behind it, why you like it.”
He smiled but kept his eyes on the traffic that was swallowing the roads. “I always knew I was lucky to grow up with money. My grandfather always impressed me as the type of man I’d like to be. You’d have liked him, and he would have liked you.”
Addy knew Heath’s parents had never liked her, even before they’d known her. She wasn’t from the right type of family, hadn’t attended the right schools, hadn’t had the right skin color, and shouldn’t have been allowed around their son.
“Gramps was injured in the Army and came back to build a small fortune with his savvy about businesses that were going to be successful. He invested in businesses he thought were smart and a little different. Ones that could compete without being swallowed up by the many that were exactly like them. He liked people with a vision of how to do things differently.”
“Sounds like someone else I know.”
He grinned. “Thanks. Unless you’re talking about Nina. Wait, that’s still a thanks.”
She laughed, happy she’d been able to lighten his mood. “Our daughter has eclectic tastes. One day, I’m sure she’s going to be working for NASA. The next day, I think she’ll be creating new computer programs. And then I’m sure she’ll be a veterinarian.”
“I love that about her. She’s so interested in everything.”
“Every last thing.”
“Tell me more.”
He sucked up every tidbit she shared. This time, she talked about the science projects, Nina’s dinosaur stage, and her fascination with plumbing.
“Maybe she’ll go into partnership with Sean one day. I can see her liking all aspects of construction.”
Addy laughed. “That wouldn’t surprise me. She spent some time with Aisling Gallagher out at Midnight Lake, learning how to build a desk and use a chisel last winter. She made the desk she uses in the living room.”
Pride shone on Heath’s face. “Seriously? I’ll have to check that out. She really is amazing.” He glanced her way. “And that’s all because of you, Addy.”
Her heart swelled. He’d said it before, and she was sure he’d meant it both times. “She’s always been the best part of me and my life. Now she can be the best part of yours as well.”
Heath swallowed hard, making his Adam’s apple bob in his throat. “I’d like that. A lot.”
They moved off the highway and onto Seaport Boulevard. She wasn’t sure she’d ever been in this area. It was bright and fresh. With the new buildings and the incredible views of the Harbor, she knew it was expensive.
Heath pulled into a building with enormous windows and parked in the secure lot below. He turned off the SUV with a sigh. “I hate this place.”
Addy felt her jaw drop. “What? I haven’t even seen it and I know it’s gorgeous.”
He shrugged. “It is. The view’s amazing. And I hate it all.”
“Why do you live here, then?”
He shrugged and squeezed the steering wheel. “Gramps proposed to Grams on the boardwalk right outside here. I like being reminded of them every day. It’s a nice condo. It’s just not a home.”
He was quiet for a moment, then he tapped the wheel. “I never wanted to be like my parents, I wanted to carve my path. Like Gramps and Grams. When I got out of the army, I wanted to strike out on my own, instead of working with my father. He wasn’t impressed. At the time, I still wanted his approval.”
Her heart ached. After what they’d done to him, she knew he’d lost that desire.
“I thought it would impress both my parents when I grew my financial base with investments in innovative start-up companies. People with great ideas but no knowledge of the business end. I’ve created a solid company and had dozens of partnerships over the years, but nothing has ever impressed them. Nothing is good enough.”
She rubbed her hand on his arm. “It is and you are.”
His sad gaze turned to her. “Thanks. I know Gramps and Grams would have approved and that’s always helped.”
“I’m betting several of those partnerships of yours have been with people from the neighborhoods you walked with your grandparents. Good, hard-working people who needed that boost of confidence that you would have given them along with your advice and financial support.”
His lips twitched. “You’re good for the confidence too. I’ve focused on exactly those kinds of people. From the area where my grandparents met, where they lived before everything clicked into place for them. They never forgot those roots and I like honouring that.”
She squeezed his arm. “They’d love what you’re doing.” And it explained his emotional tie to Boston.
He smiled, but it quickly turned into a frown. “Am I still trying to impress my parents? Top-of-the line condo? I don’t want to be like them, but this condo says part of me is.”
She laughed at that. “Not a chance. Just because you bought a place with a fabulous view doesn’t mean you’re a snob. You’ve earned that money. You’re allowed to spend it how you like. And I’m betting the view is what sold you.”
He blinked a few times. “Yeah. Gramps and Grams loved the harbor. Loved imagining the possibilities for the people they watched come into the city. The workers, the tourists, the kids flying kites. They always said it was one of the brightest spots of life and hope in the city.”
“So you bought it for them.”
“Hm. Maybe I did.”
After a few moments, Heath climbed out of the SUV and Addison followed more slowly. She might have had a tough time these past twelve years, but Heath’s had been just as difficult in different ways. After Nina had been born, Addy had never been lonely. She was starting to think that other than his Army days, Heath had never been anything but lonely.
After Nina’s birth, their first room’s only view had been of the cafe’s dumpster. But they’d made it work. They’d made a home in that tiny room.
Heath hadn’t had much of a home with his parents. It sounded like he’d had a kind of home in the military. Not one with four walls and a roof. But one with friends who’d become family.
She wanted him to have a home. Desperately. And she wanted him to have that with them. But she couldn’t say the words. Not yet. Heath’s whole world had changed a few days before, and he had to acclimate to that change before she threw another one at him.
But she could picture it. Maybe she could picture it so clearly because she’d dreamed of it so often. The three of them as a family in a sprawling farmhouse with porch swings and a kitchen at its heart.
As they moved into the elevator, she laced her hand with his. They moved to the top floor without a word and then down the hall. She squeezed his hand and let it go when he had to dig out his key.
He opened the door and gestured for her to precede him inside. The small lobby led to a hallway. She kicked off her boots and moved past a laundry room and a guest bath before the space opened into a living area with an amazing view of the harbor. Off to one side, she spotted a kitchen and dining area, all sharing the view. To the other side, another hallway probably led to his bedroom.
Everything was beautiful. Clean lines. Masculine colors. She laughed and turned to him. “I can see why you hate it. The beautiful view, the gorgeous space. It’s just awful.”
She watched the tension drain from Heath’s shoulders as he grinned at her. “Told you.”
She dropped her bag on the floor at her feet and moved to the windows. People, boats, and vehicles bustled down below, going about their lives. How many of theirs had changed as much as Heath’s in the past week?
His arms wound around her from behind, and he leaned his chin on her head, something that he’d often done that had made her smile. She leaned back into his strength and his warmth.
Her body had been amped since their first kiss. No, it had been amped since she’d seen him in the parking lot.
Everything about Heath appealed to her. His heart and genuineness first and foremost. But his body had always been on the list as well. As a teen, he’d been tall and athletic. He’d filled out as a man, and she could feel those muscles wrapped around her.
She’d felt them under her hands a few times. But they’d rarely been alone, and only for moments. They were staying overnight here in his condo. And she knew he had a guest room. And a couch.
But the only place she wanted to spend the night was in his bed with him.
Addy placed her hands over his, where they wrapped around her middle. She played with the hair on his forearms, soft circles and swirls that used to drive him crazy.
They’d been kids. Fumbling lovers who were eager to shuck their virgin statuses as long as it was with the other. They’d only managed to find the time and place to make love a handful of times, but he’d always made her feel special. Loved.
And she’d loved in return.
Still did.
Addy turned and ran her hands over Heath’s chest and then up to cup his face. His eyes flamed with desire, making her smile. “Are we on the same page?” The huskiness in her voice surprised her.
“If that page is that I want to kiss the breath out of you, yes. If that page is that I want to kiss every inch of you, still yes. And if that page includes getting to make love to you for hours, definitely yes.”
Shivers covered her at his growly words. She leaned up on her toes until her mouth was a breath away from his. “Same page.” And then she touched her lips to his and her body nearly exploded right there.