Chapter 34
THIRTY-FOUR
I sincerely regretted saying yes to a meeting with Stratus Capital when I woke the next morning after a terrible night of sleep. I couldn’t stop thinking of how Grant and I had left things last night.
I knew he was right—that I was sabotaging us before we even had a real chance together. He couldn’t force me to believe him. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy.
But I also felt stuck. I wanted more than anything to believe that Grant loved me now and would continue to love me. But how could I force myself to believe it?
I knew if I went to the Matchify office to prepare for my meeting with Stratus, I wouldn’t be able to focus. I’d be thinking of Grant, wanting Grant. But for the next two and a half hours, I needed to focus on Matchify and its future. Mine would have to wait.
It was the Jericho Rose that pulled my gaze again and again as I worked from my laptop.
The more I looked at it, the more significant Grant’s decision to give it to me felt.
I was that dried up tumbleweed, and he was trying to give me water.
I just didn’t know how to let myself soak up what he was offering.
I took my laptop to my room to focus, going over my slide decks and rehearsing what I would say.
I arrived ten minutes before the meeting and went straight to my office to get everything prepared.
Normally, I would’ve been happy to see my friends, but last night had been so confusing, I didn’t feel ready to talk about it.
I also wouldn’t be able to talk to my friends without them trying to weasel information out of me about what happened once they’d left.
Jenna brought Lauren Chen from Stratus Capital to my office a couple of minutes after ten. She was poised and well-dressed, with enough warmth not to feel intimidating but still be taken seriously.
After a short interlude of polite conversation, I launched into the pitch, going through the slide decks I’d spent so much time perfecting.
She listened, punctuating my presentation with a few perceptive questions that made me suspect she’d seen the article in The Sentinel. That didn’t bode particularly well.
“I’ll be honest, Miss West,” she said. “I’ve been following Matchify with interest for the past year or so, but the recent press has been concerning. I’m sure you can understand why it would give us pause as we contemplate investing in the company’s future.”
“Of course,” I said, forcing myself to hold her gaze rather than averting mine. She’d read Chase’s words about me. She’d probably seen the photo of Grant and me in the parking garage.
A wave of want washed over me. I missed Grant. Fiercely.
“I can imagine the press has been uncomfortable for you,” she said.
“But your personal life isn’t my concern, Miss West. My concern is what it says about the product and how it affects it.
You represent a key demographic for your app.
How will you prevent your users and your potential users from assuming that since the app didn’t work for you, it might not work for them, either? ”
That was the question, wasn’t it? My own situation was inextricably tied up with the app. If I didn’t let myself be guided by my Matchify results, how could I expect others to be?
“Our app works for the majority of users,” I said. “Of course, on any Bell curve, there are outliers. That’s just a statistical reality. We can’t promise something like love with 100% accuracy for 100% of people, but our app can reliably help most people find their best shot at it.”
She gave a little acknowledging grimace.
She wasn’t convinced.
I couldn’t blame her. She wanted an answer for those outliers.
So did I. More than anything. I was one of them.
I wanted to be able to give an answer for why Matchify had spit Grant and me out with a 12% compatibility score when I’d never felt such a strong connection with anyone in my life.
I thought of last night, when Grant had told me he loved me. Twice.
I thought of his frustration when I’d refused to believe him. My message hadn’t only been I believe Chase over you; it had been I know your feelings better than you.
That wasn’t just hurtful. It was arrogant.
He’d told me he didn’t care if I was an anomaly.
Did I believe anomalies didn’t deserve love?
Maybe that was our problem.
Maybe we shouldn’t be discounting those tails of outliers on the Bell curve. The 12% matches. They didn’t mean the app didn’t work; they just meant that statistics and our algorithm worked a high percentage of the time but that we also needed to allow for a bit of chance.
Most people needed to be Matchified; but some, like me, needed to be Chancified.
My heart skipped.
Chancify.
Was that the answer?
“What if we could provide for those outliers?” I asked, my heart thumping against my ribs.
Miss Chen’s gaze was fixed on me, but she waited for me to go on.
“What if we could build a feature for people who weren’t completely confident in the algorithm?”
Her gaze sharpened with cautious intrigue. “That’s the most interesting thing you’ve said so far, Miss West. Tell me more.”
My body trembled like I’d taken three shots of espresso. “What if we introduce a bit of randomness into the process? Give users the opportunity to roll the dice—metaphorically?”
“Wouldn’t that undermine your app?”
“Or strengthen it. Matchify’s statistical models cover the majority of situations.
Chancify could cover the rest.” Grant had said it, hadn’t he?
Compatibility didn’t have to mean two things that were very similar; it could mean two things that complemented each other. Opposites, even, in some cases.
Miss Chen’s eyes lit with interest—and a hint of admiration. “I’m very intrigued by this idea. If you’re serious about this type of feature, Stratus’s interest in the future of Matchify would be much deeper.”
I was serious. In fact, it had been a long time since I’d felt this level of excitement about something at Matchify. But it wasn’t just because of what it meant for the app.
“Entirely serious,” I said. “Obviously, I need to discuss things with my developers, but once we’ve done that, I’d be happy to give you more information on how the idea takes form.”
She smiled and rose to her feet. “I’ll look forward to hearing from you then.”
“I appreciate you taking the time to meet with me, Miss Chen.” I put out my hand, and she took it.
“I’m glad I did.”
I watched as she went through the door, my body teeming with energy.
I should go talk to Jackie and her team right away. But I wouldn’t.
It was Grant I needed to see.