24. Over it
Chapter twenty-four
Over it
Charlie
I can’t believe I'm on my way. Sitting at the airport waiting for my flight, I've got my case checked in, a book in one hand and a glass of fizz in the other. I’ve even switched off the shop security notifications from the app. I don’t want to see who’s coming and going while I’m away. It was getting to the point of irritating anyway. Even with my silent phone, I just can't seem to concentrate on my book or relax. I keep thinking back to last night.
I’m glad I’m not there. I don't need or want to deal with that. I can’t help overthinking it all through, I mean, why did Owen call Leon and not me? I know it’s a stupid thought to have, irrational even. Leon and Owen have been friends for a very long time, been through so much together. Of course, he would call Leon first… I expected him to come back for them, but I wanted that call. It’s selfish of me, but I wanted him to tell me he was coming back. I wanted to be the first to know. I wanted Owen to come back to me, for me, to be with me. I wanted to be the one he reached out to. However stupid that was.
What does that tell you, Charlie? The annoying voice in my head chimes in. I should listen, but I want to wallow in this feeling, at least until I get on the plane.
I’ve waited twelve months for him. That phone call, and now… it just confirms what I have been thinking. My stomach sinks even further. I’ve been forgotten. Clutching my necklace in my hand, it still feels wrong to take it off. It’s become a part of me, even if I’m a thing of his past. This is mine. That’s okay . It hurts like a bitch, but that's okay. I’ll deal with it like I have done for the last twelve months. I don't know if I will be able to cope seeing him around again when I get back. How can I have him back in my life and not be a part of his? I guess I’ll figure it out, eventually.
I know I’m supposed to be relaxing. I’m trying, sitting in the executive lounge, on a sofa that massages you, with my eyes closed. I look like I’m relaxing to anyone who looks at me, but my foot is jiggling like crazy with nervous, angry and frustrated (yes sexually, that too) energy I have running through me.
I am treating this as my reset, but I’ve brought my laptop in my backpack with the work I’ve been doing for Simon with me to keep me busy. It was the last thing on my mind as I was packing, but when I knew it was Owen on the phone, I shoved my laptop and pen drive in my bag, knowing I would need the distraction, when the thoughts start to creep in.
Speaking of distractions, picking up my phone, I call Simon’s mobile. I need to let him know I’m going away. It goes to answerphone. I know I’m not supposed to but I try his office, and again it’s left unanswered. I’ll try again when I’m away.
Simon still hasn't told anyone I’m working for him, so I can’t send him a message or an email to let him know. We’ve been careful with our communication, only using personal lines, and using special apps on my phone, making sure it’s all secure before we talk.
I haven’t told anyone I’m working for him on this either. I know Leon would be upset. It’s been killing me keeping this from them. I know they would even help, but if Leon, Cole and Ethan got involved, it would put them at risk and that’s something I just can’t do, not after how they have become some of my closest friends over the last year.
The case against Mr Summers is not only high profile, but sensitive and dangerous for anyone involved.
Hopefully, by the time I get back, they will have Mr Summers in custody, and I’ll be able to talk more freely about it all.
The only thing I don’t understand still is how Josh is getting the information out. I can’t find anything on how he could be doing it. It makes no sense.
My mind is drawn to the announcement over the speaker system telling me that my flight is now boarding. Grabbing my stuff, I send a quick message to Leon to tell him, then head off towards the gate to try and forget about Owen and the threat I have put myself under.
I want to get out of my head. I've been struggling for so long to try and forget about Owen. I’ve not given myself a chance to enjoy what I have and do the things I should be doing.
Like taking a holiday, relaxing and soaking up some sun. My life for the last twelve months has been work, train, research and repeat. I need to break the mould a little. This will be good. I’m trying to convince myself I will have a fabulous holiday. Simon will call when he needs me. With that thought in mind, I order some more fizz from the flight attendant, thanking her when she brings it over. First class is the only way to fly. I settle back and think of nothing but enjoying my first proper holiday in years.