22. Marcus
22
MARCUS
E very time the doorbell rang, I prayed and hoped it was Caleb realizing he’d made a mistake about breaking up with me. Why didn’t I fight harder for him? Why didn’t I grab him and wrap him in my arms tightly and passionately kiss him while we were in that classroom all alone?
I jumped up off the bed and ran down the stairs. I opened the door, but to my disappointment, it wasn’t Caleb. It was someone I didn’t expect: his ex, Bradley. I quickly closed the door, but he put his foot between it to keep me from closing it.
“Brandon, help; someone is trying to break into the house!” I yelled.
“I’m not trying to break in, idiot. I just want to talk!” He pushed all his weight against the door and overpowered me. No wonder he was a linebacker. I was strong, but this dude was stronger. Once, he had bulldozed his way into our house. He had a seat on our couch.
“Have a seat and relax, bro. I would have knocked you out if I wanted to hit you.”
“That black eye I gave you says something different,” I replied.
“Look, I didn’t come here to argue or get into anything. I just want to talk.” Before he finished his statement, Brandon burst into the living room with a silver bat in his hand.
“Who is this, Marcus? Are you okay?” He asked as he gripped the bat tightly and held it like he was getting ready to hit the winning home run game.
“Yeah, everything is fine, Brandon. Can you give us a minute?” Brandon slowly lowered the bat, being sure not to take his eyes off Bradley.
“I’ll be upstairs if you need me,” he replied. Once he’d left the room, I grabbed the remote, turned off the television, and turned toward him.
“Why are you here, Bradley?” I asked. He stood up from the couch and walked toward me, only stopping when he was a few inches from my face.
“I’m here to give you a warning. If you break Caleb’s mother fucking heart, I’ll break your neck.”
“What are you talking about? He broke up with me today. I fucked up.”
“Did you cheat?”
“Absolutely not?”
“Did you hit him?”
“Of course not,” I replied.
“Then you didn’t fuck up,” he replied.
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because I just left his house trying to steal him from you, and he said you’re together.”
“He said that?”
“Yeah, and that shit hurt because I still love him.”
“You’re the reason we’re in this drama. It was your text to me that made me leave the hotel.”
“Please spare me the details. I don’t want to hear about you two in a hotel. It makes my blood boil. I’m only sharing this with you because I still love him and want him to be happy, with or without me, even if he is downgrading to a poorer, less sexy version than me. I hurt him, and I don’t want to see him hurt again.”
“I won’t be poorer than you for long, and you being sexier is debatable,” I added.
“I’ll ignore that statement because you’re still playing high school ball. Just don’t be like me and allow your ego to make you miss out on the best thing that could happen to you.” He removed a small box from his pocket.
“Give him this but say it’s from you. I know you can’t afford it, so don’t worry about paying me back.” I opened the box, and it was a beaded bracelet. It was almost identical to the one he’d broken with Caleb’s name on it, but this one had bigger, round beads with all the rainbow colors.
“You’re the kindest asshole I know,” I said.
“I’ve been called that before. I’m sorry for all the shit I caused. Just take care of him, okay?”
“I will. Sorry about the eye, man.”
“It’s all good. It was a lucky punch.” He walked out of the door and shut it behind him.
I closed the door and locked it. I sat on the couch, put my head between my legs, and pulled my hair. I felt like I had to choose between Caleb and football, and it didn’t seem fair.
“So, who’s Caleb?” Brandon said as he stepped into the living room.
“You were listening to my conversation?”
“I stood there to make sure homeboy didn’t kill you and just overheard the discussion. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop. You want to talk about it?”
“There’s nothing to talk about. The cat is out of the bag,” I replied. My brother was among the last people I wanted to talk to about this outside of my mother. I was angry, yet relieved.
“Marcus, I’m bisexual too,” Brandon said. My eyes widened, and I almost choked on the water I had just swallowed.
“What?”
“Wow, that felt amazing to get off my chest.”
“When? How long have you known? Does mom know?”
“I’ve known since I was twelve, so it’s been about fifteen years now, and hell no, I haven’t told mom.”
“Have you fucked a guy before?”
“Of course. I’m a twenty-seven-year-old man with needs.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“The same reason you didn’t tell. I was embarrassed and didn’t know how you would treat me. I’ve lost good friends over my sexuality. I didn’t want to lose my baby brother as well.”
“Bro, I wouldn’t disown you.”
“I know that now but didn’t know that then.” There was a long, awkward pause between us. I knew he had shared his secret with me and that he expected me to share some details of mine back with him. I wanted to share this part of my life with him, but I knew once I spoke the words, I couldn’t take them back.
“If you aren’t comfortable talking about it. That’s fine. I just wanted you to know. I know this lifestyle can be lonely. Tell me when you’re comfortable. I’m going to head upstairs to pack.”
“Caleb is my boyfriend,” I blurted out. My brother’s eyes lit up with excitement at my willingness to share. He turned around, headed back down the stairs, and sat on the couch beside me.
“How long have you been dating? Have you all done the nasty? What does he look like?”
“Damn, you trying to get all in my business,” I laughed. It’s only been a couple of months. But, yes, we’ve done the nasty, and you know what he looks like.
“I’ve met him?”
“Yes, he stopped by the other day. He was looking for me at the back window. He said he saw some muscular chocolate man looking out my window. He thought you were my boyfriend, and I was cheating on him. You and Bradley are out here fucking up my relationship.”
“The little skinny, nerdy kid with the glasses that was throwing rocks at the window?”
“That’s him.”
“Tell him I’m sorry for cursing him out.”
“You cursed him out?”
“Hell yeah! He was throwing rocks at the window; I thought he was some delinquent teenager trying to vandalize our home.”
“Well, he isn’t a delinquent; he’s, my tutor?”
“You’re fucking your tutor? Well, I hope you’re not paying him, and your ass better get an A.”
“Honestly, we haven’t been doing much studying lately.”
“So why was Bradley telling you to be nice to him?”
“That was his ex, and he was just telling me not to hurt him. He still loves him, but he cheated on him, and that’s why they broke up.”
“Damn Bradley is bisexual?”
“Yeah, please keep that between us. I don’t think he’s officially out yet.”
“Trust me. My lips are sealed.”
“Thanks,” I replied.
“Marcus, please don’t tell me you cheated on him.”
“Naw, Caleb is just out and open, and I’m not ready for that just yet. I’m a jock, and it’s going to be weird having a boyfriend and then going into the locker room and dealing with the backlash from the team.”
“I understand the backlash. I went through that myself with my boyfriend in high school. It messed the whole trajectory of my life up, but you must make the best decision for yourself.”
“What happened?”
“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you some other time.” Just as I was about to beg my brother to tell me his story, I looked at my phone and a smile spread across my face. It was a text from Caleb.
Caleb: I’m sorry Marcus and I love you. Let’s talk after the game. I don’t want to distract you. I’ll be there cheering you on.