Chapter 27
twenty-seven
Chance blinked awake as the sun streamed in through the window. He took several breaths, trying to identify the feeling in his head. Clear, strong, like the world made sense.
Oh, he felt good . Not tired. Like a human being again.
“What the hell?” he muttered. How had that happened? He hadn’t felt like this since the baby was born.
He glanced over at the clock. God, he’d slept six whole hours. Six entire dark delicious hours, and damn, did he feel amazing.
Cordy was curled up next to him, coming awake herself.
“Morning.” Her smile was tender, bright.
“You should have woken me up last night.” Chance felt guilty that he’d slept through Madeleine’s wake-ups. “I would have taken one of the feedings.”
“Last night?” Her brow creased. “Last night…” Her eyes went wide. “I didn’t wake up last night.”
Which meant the baby hadn’t either.
In a flash, they were both up, racing to the nursery.
They tumbled through the door one after the other, panting. Iggy chased after them, barking as loud as Chance’s heart was pounding.
Madeleine jerked awake, her eyes popping open as she started to wail.
“Oh my God.” Cordy grabbed her chest like she was putting her heart back. “She’s okay.”
Poor Madeleine cried harder. Chance took the opportunity to sink to the floor. His legs were rubbery.
“She slept through the night?” he asked.
“She must have.” Cordy bounced Madeleine in her arms, trying to soothe her. “Or she woke up and put herself back to sleep. Poor baby has to have a full diaper.” Cordy glanced at Chance on the floor. “You okay?”
Chance heaved himself up—enough of that. “I’m fine. It’s just that when I realized we hadn’t heard her in hours…”
“I know,” Cordy said softly. “I felt it, too.” She curled around Madeleine, her attention completely on her daughter.
They made an arresting picture backlit by the window. Chance’s heart was anchored and buoyant at the same time as he watched them. It wasn’t just the long stretch of sleep that had him feeling this way—it was the woman and child in his life.
It was going to be hell to leave them today, but his six weeks of paternity leave were up. He had to get back to helping his brothers and running the ranch.
And someday they’d be moving…
“You two will be okay on your own today?” His voice was rough.
Cordy looked up. For a moment, she seemed surprised, and then her expression shuttered. “We’ll be okay. I need to call Glenn about my job, and I was thinking… I should go by and see Reed’s house. Janet says it’s ready to move in.”
Chance’s heart went into free fall. It took everything he had to keep his face steady. “That’s a good idea. Maybe get the keys from her, too.”
She nodded. “Hopefully, Glenn will give me my job back. It sounds like Justin is in over his head.”
Chance wasn’t surprised. “If Glenn’s smart, he’ll bring you back.”
Glenn was sure to re-hire Cordy—he wasn’t that dumb. So she’d have a job and a house… and wouldn’t need Chance anymore.
“We’ll see,” she said. “Chelsea said she could watch Madeleine while I’m at work, so that’s taken care of.”
He bit back his protest. Madeleine was so little, way too little to spend hours and hours with a stranger. She needed people who loved her around her.
But it wasn’t his business, and of course, Cordy needed to work. If she stayed with Chance, he’d happily support her and Madeleine until she was ready to work again, no matter how long that was, but…
“Good.” He couldn’t look at her as he said it. “That’s a big relief.”
“Yeah.” Cordy bounced Madeleine up and down. “It’s great.”
It fucking sucked, not that Chance could do anything more. “Well, if you need anything, I’ll be in the south pasture. I’ll double-check her car seat before I go.”
“Thanks. We’ll probably get lunch in town, so you don’t have to worry about that.”
He would, anyway. After six weeks of being with them twenty-four seven, Chance had no idea how he would get through today.
Cordy sounded just fine with it, though.
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m going to get my shower.”
“Okay.” Cordy flashed him a quick, impersonal smile. “Have a good day.”
Chance knew he wouldn’t, but he only said, “You, too.”
Cordy ended up not going anywhere.
Chance telling her to pick up the keys to Reed’s house had been too depressing. He couldn’t have sent any clearer signal—it was time for her and Madeleine to go.
So Cordy gathered her courage and texted Glenn, asking if she could come back to work next week. She also called Janet and asked her to bring the keys. But Cordy didn’t leave the house, not when she would have to so soon.
Madeleine was quiet, too, catching Cordy’s mood. But the baby brightened when Janet came by.
“How’s my darling?” Janet cooed. “You look so happy today!”
Madeleine wasn’t at the smiling stage yet, but she did seem pleased to see Janet. It was all in the eyebrows.
Thankfully, the Saxons had turned out to be involved grandparents. Cordy wouldn’t lie; sometimes, it was still awkward, but they were trying. Madeleine seemed to have helped Janet with the worst of her grief. There were no more random bursts of tears, and when Janet talked about Reed, she brought up happy memories.
“I have to make this quick, unfortunately,” Janet said between kisses for Madeleine. “I’ve got a Friends of the Library meeting in half an hour. The keys are in the side pocket of my purse if you want to grab them.”
The keys were ordinary brass, threaded on a Disneyland keychain that had to be at least twenty years old. Cordy had taken up new keys so often she didn’t think twice about it.
But these… these keys felt too heavy in her hands. Probably because they were more than keys—they were her break with Chance. Once these became hers, Chance’s home was no longer home .
“Thank you,” Cordy said huskily. “I appreciate you bringing them by.”
Janet looked up from making faces at Madeleine. “Of course. I know we didn’t… Things were difficult at the beginning. And I’m sorry I wasn’t more welcoming. But…” Janet wiped one eye. “Thank you for this little girl. For saving part of my Reed.”
That was too much for Cordy’s bruised heart and tender postpartum emotions. Now it was her turn to tear up, her throat closing.
Janet put Madeleine on one shoulder and patted Cordy’s back. “You’ll feel better once you’re moved into Reed’s house. That’s where you should have been all along.”
Mrs. Saxon was wrong, but Cordy couldn’t say that. Instead, she grabbed a tissue from the box on the coffee table, wiped her eyes, and made herself be strong.
“I’ll let you know when we’re moving.” Cordy was proud of how steady her voice was. “It will probably be this week.”
“Oh good.” Janet bounced Madeleine up and down. “Give us a date and time, and we’ll help.”
The thought filled Cordy with dread. “Perfect.”
Janet handed Madeleine back. “Oh, I wish I could take her with me. I’ve got to be going. Let us know about the move! So excited you’ll be in Reed’s house finally!”
When Mrs. Saxon was gone, Cordy made herself walk through the house, taking stock of everything that needed to be packed. Iggy followed, looking worried.
“There’s too much stuff,” she told the dog. “How did I get all this?”
Her parents had always said that if you owned too many things, the things ended up owning you.
But these things didn’t own her—they were the bricks that made this place feel like home. Madeleine's baby swing that Sam had gotten her, the one she sat in while they made dinner. The stack of board games Ruby and Quint had brought by the other night with the promise of a future game night. The yellow curtains Chance had hung in the nursery.
Cordy couldn’t imagine moving them. They belonged here .
“But we have to leave,” she said aloud. “It has to be done.”
Iggy gave one short, sharp bark as if to say, “You’re dead wrong.” Madeleine started wailing, unhappily surprised by the loud noise.
It took a good fifteen minutes to calm Madeleine down. By the end, Cordy was so desperate that she promised the baby they wouldn’t be leaving after all, and would she please stop crying so hard?
Funny enough, that was what did it. Madeleine stopped, hiccupped, then blinked her tear-filled eyes.
“Oh boy.” Cordy realized she’d lied to her baby for the first time—she was barely a month old. “I don’t want to leave either, but…”
Madeleine kept staring at her. Good Lord, when did she start focusing so hard?
Cordy’s phone rang, startling the both of them. Luckily, Madeleine didn’t start crying.
When Cordy saw it was Chance, she couldn’t help smiling. Lord, but she was missing him.
“Hey!” Cordy was so pleased to hear from him, her voice practically shimmered. “What’s up? Are you coming home for lunch after all? Madeleine would love that.”
There was only a long silence. She could hear things happening in the background. Cows calling. Someone yelling.
“Chance? Is everything okay?” Her heart kicked with a sick jolt. “Can you hear me?”
“Yeah.” His voice sounded battered. “I’m here.”
A siren started up in the background.
Cordy scrambled up off the couch just to do something. “What’s going on? Is someone hurt?”
“Dad’s… he’s had a heart attack. We think.”
“Wait, what?” Her lips felt like they were tripping over each other. That wasn’t possible. Cordy had seen Holden yesterday across the fields. He’d waved, and she’d waved back. He couldn’t be having a heart attack.
“What’s going on?”
“We were working on bringing some cattle in. Dad was on the quad.” Chance chipped off the words as if they were stuck in his throat. “He fell over out of nowhere. We couldn’t wake him up. He’s got a pulse, but…”
“Wait, are you still out in the field with him? Oh my God, I have to?—”
“No.” His tone was the coldest she’d ever heard. Cold and steely, slamming shut. Shutting her out. “Stay with the baby. This isn’t your mess.”
It wasn’t a mess . It was his father. God, Chance had to be completely breaking up inside. He’d act like he wasn’t, but his heart must be shattering.
“Chance, you can’t?—”
“The ambulance is on the way. I’m serious, don’t leave the house. I probably won’t be?—”
The call cut off.
Cordy had no idea what to do. Her heart was beating so hard she felt sick. Poor Chance, poor Holden—her breath caught on a sob. She wanted to collapse on the couch. She wanted to run after Chance and be there for him. She wanted Holden to come through this. She wanted that desperately.
“What can I do?” Cordy started to pace. “Ruby. I can call her.”
It went straight to voicemail when she tried Ruby’s number. Right, because it was the middle of the school day. Her fingers shaking, Cordy looked up the number for the school, suddenly grateful there was only one in Star Crossed Springs. She wouldn’t have to waste time trying to figure out which school.
“Star Crossed Springs Unified,” a brisk male voice answered. “How can I help you?”
“Um, I need to get a message to Ruby Kessal.” Cordy pressed her fingers against her forehead. “She teaches second grade.”
“Yes, I know. Who is this?”
“I’m Cordelia Johnson, I tend bar at the Swing Inn. Please, this is important.”
“Oh yes, Pierce is always talking about you. You’re Reed’s…” The man coughed. “Well, you know. What message should I give her?”
“Holden had a heart attack, and they’re taking him to the hospital.” Cordy had no idea how to say that gracefully. It was blunt and awful, but so was the entire situation.
“Holden Kessal? Oh my God! What happened?”
Cordy’s mouth dropped open. Oh no, what had she done? By telling this man, had she told the entire town? What would Chance say?
“I’m not entirely sure,” she said slowly. “They were out in the fields, and the ambulance came…” Her voice broke. “Ruby needs to call Quint. He needs her.”
Cordy hung up before she lost it entirely. Quint would be desperate to have Ruby by his side. He loved her, even if they had things to work out.
Chance, though, Chance didn’t want Cordy there at all.
If there was any question about Chance being in love with her, he’d brutally answered it today. No, no, and no.
Well, he didn’t owe her his heart. But he had helped Cordy when she didn’t have anyone, so she’d do the same for him. And stay put like he’d asked.
Cordy went through the rest of her contacts, trying to figure out who she could call. Lane and Bowie needed to know, but she didn’t have their numbers. Someone else might have them, but Cordy didn’t want to be spreading the news about Holden. It didn’t feel like her place.
She was still scrolling when Ruby called fifteen minutes later.
“Hey.” Ruby’s voice was a pale echo of itself, washed out by exhaustion. “I already talked to Quint. I’m on my way to the hospital.”
Cordy wouldn’t let herself be jealous. Of course, Ruby should be there; she was Holden’s daughter-in-law.
“Is there any update?” Cordy asked.
“Holden’s alive and awake. They’ll know more once they get to the hospital, but it’s a good sign.”
“Thank God,” Cordy said fervently. “Should I be doing something?”
“You’ve got a baby, and there’s nothing you can do.”
Because she wasn’t part of the family, not like Ruby was. Cordy was only a temporary houseguest.
If Chance had wanted her there, he would have said so. He’d specifically told her to stay away. Her place in his life, in his heart, couldn’t have been more clear.
“Okay.” Cordy swallowed down the knot in her throat. “I’ll keep out of the way then.”
Ruby didn’t seem to have heard. “Someone’s gotta call Lane.” She was talking to herself. “I have no idea what his number is now. And Bowie is two hours ahead in Missouri.”
“I can call them.” Cordy was desperate to do something. “If you give me their numbers?—”
“No, I’ll have to do it. But you know what? Pard is still at the house.”
Cordy put her hand to her chest. Oh, that poor, poor puppy. “I’ll go get him. He can stay here. He and Iggy get along.”
It felt terrible to be relieved to do something, but sitting at home alone would have been worse.
“Thanks.” Ruby sighed. “Okay, I’ll call you when I know more.”
“Ruby, wait! Um, can you tell Chance… tell him….” Cordy searched for something to say. She wanted him to know she loved him, was waiting for him, and was so sorry, but he wouldn’t want to hear that.
She wet her lips, dropped her voice. “Can you make sure he’s okay? For me?”
“Oh, honey.” The sympathy in Ruby’s tone told Cordy she understood completely. “Of course I will. You know… maybe after this, he’ll be different. Maybe they’ll all be different.”
Oh boy. Now, it was Cordy’s turn to feel sympathy for Ruby. If Ruby was hoping this might magically turn Quint into the perfect husband, childhood baggage all tossed away… well, that was about as likely to happen as Chance changing, too.
“Maybe,” Cordy said. “I’ll go get Pard now. If you can, tell Holden I’m pulling for him.”
“Of course. And I’ll let him know Pard is in good hands.”
Getting Pard was easy. As soon as Cordy pulled up to the main house in the UTV, the dog hopped right on, his ears flopping. He seemed sad but mostly confused, like he didn’t understand where everyone had gone.
She gave Pard and Iggy lots of treats and love when she got home. They both curled up on the hearth to munch their treats.
After that, Cordy had no idea what to do with herself. Madeleine started to fuss, which made Iggy nervous and on edge. And that made Pard howl with anxiety. Everyone in the house was miserable and keyed up.
So Cordy started packing. Getting her life together and taking off used to make her feel better, but it now only made things worse. Still, she kept going, tending to Madeleine in between filling boxes.
Chance would be relieved when she left. He could focus on his father and his family and not have that awkward conversation with her about when exactly she was getting out of his hair. Cordy would save him some trouble. He’d appreciate it.
He’ll be in the bars again, picking up women. You know it. Cordy bit her lip as that dark thought settled in her brain. Chance would be devastated by his father’s emergency, and he’d need that outlet.
Cordy wiped her eyes. Chance would be back in the Swing Inn or the Red Dog as soon as he could. She hated that, but she wouldn’t stand in his way. He was a grown man, and he could do what he pleased.
“It will be for the best,” she told Madeleine and the dogs. “He wants to get back to his life. We’ve been taking advantage of him for too long. If he wanted me with him, he’d have said so today. He doesn’t.”
Madeleine chewed on her fist. The dogs didn’t look convinced.
Cordy was halfway through Madeleine's clothes when there was a rap at the sliding glass door. Both dogs went wild.
Cordy’s heart stopped. Was Chance already home?
She wasn’t ready, but there was no more time.
She rehearsed what she wanted to say as she went for the door. This would be awkward for a few minutes, but then he’d be relieved.
And then it would be over.
But it was Jaycee, Gareth, and Brayden at the door.
Jaycee had delivered Brayden two weeks ago in a labor so fast she’d almost had him in the car. She and Cordy had laughed about it when Jaycee had told her.
“You shouldn’t have come,” Cordy said. “You just had the baby!”
“Of course I did. I was in the car the moment I heard.” Jaycee hugged Cordy hard, then pressed a package into her hands. “Don’t worry, it’s not food. I mean, it’s wine and chocolate, but that’s more like self-care.”
Cordy didn’t know what to say. She’d been trying to be strong while being stuck here, thinking of ways she might be allowed to help, and to have someone come all this way just for her?
It was a lot, in a good way, but also made her want to cry.
“I was just…” She swung her arm toward the pile of boxes, not knowing what to say. “…packing?”
Jaycee watched her for a long moment. Her gaze was steady and understanding.
Maybe she was going to talk Cordy out of this. One part of Cordy desperately wanted Jaycee to. It wasn’t that Cordy wanted to leave Chance… but she couldn’t stick around when he didn’t love her.
Her parents had spent her entire childhood showing her how to leave everything behind. Cordy could do this. She was a master at it.
Jaycee took a breath. Cordy braced herself to answer whatever difficult question came her way.
And then Jaycee asked, “What can I do to help?”
Cordy stopped. She looked around at the mountain of boxes, at her baby, at her dog, and then at her friend. Jaycee had dropped everything to come to Cordy even though she had just had a baby.
Jaycee was her friend. Cordy understood that word in an entirely new way now. She had friends here and a home, even if she wasn’t with Chance. No matter what, Cordy had family on her side.
It was such a new feeling she had to sit down. Madeleine stared up at her.
“I don’t know what to do,” she confessed.
Jaycee came to sit next to her, with Brayden on her lap. “Okay. Let’s talk and figure it out. Whatever you decide, we’ll be here for you.”
So Cordy started pouring her heart out.