Chapter 9
CHLOE
It’s funny, but I thought I’d want to do this holiday totally on my own when I decided to still come here after being so unceremoniously dumped, but it’s turning out to be much more fun having Kit around to do things with.
In fact, as we stroll back to the hotel together in the soft morning light, for the first time since the non-wedding I feel that maybe I can get past the humiliating horror of being dumped so publicly by Adrian.
That I’m going to be okay – eventually.
This distraction with Kit is just what I need to get through the next few days. And maybe beyond. It’ll be good to have it in my back pocket anyway. Something to remember when I’m feeling low and lonely.
A shudder runs through me at the thought of what my life will be like once I’m back at home.
Adrian and I have been living together for the last two years and he promised he’ll have moved all his stuff out by the time I get back to the UK.
I’m not sure how I’m going to afford the rent on my own though. My job doesn’t exactly pay brilliantly well. But I really don’t want to have to look for a new one, even if it means an increase in salary. I love what I do.
‘You okay?’ Kit asks me, seeming to notice my distraction.
‘Yeah. I was just thinking about work, actually,’ I say.
At least that’s half true. It seems a bit rude to be thinking about Adrian when I’m out and about with Kit. Though I’m sure he’d understand. He’s been really kind so far, whenever I’ve alluded to anything about my car crash of a wedding or my dumpster-fire of a relationship.
His attentiveness and willingness to discuss emotionally intense things has actually surprised me.
He was never the type to be serious about anything when I knew him at university.
He’d always make a joke or turn the conversation to something frivolous – or sexual – if we ever got anywhere near emotion.
It drove me a bit crazy at the time. I wanted more depth from him, from our relationship, but he just didn’t seem capable of it.
‘I was just thinking about how I’ll need to ask for a pay rise at work if I’m going to keep paying the rent on my flat,’ I say.
‘Are they likely to give you one?’
I shrug. ‘I don’t know if they can afford it. But if I don’t ask I don’t get. I’ve been working there long enough for them to not want to lose me, so hopefully they’ll seriously consider it, at least.’
‘What would you do instead, if you weren’t working there?’
‘I don’t really know. I guess I’d look for work at another environmental charity, since that’s where my expertise lies, but there aren’t exactly a lot of similar positions I could go for that would pay more than I’m already earning.’
‘No, I don’t suppose environmental work is a money-spinner,’ he says, his brow pinching.
‘Unfortunately not, no. It’s essential work, but not well paid. But it’s not really about the money for me. England’s experienced a significant loss of biodiversity over the last few decades and it’s still in constant decline, despite all the conservation programmes working so hard to reverse it.’
I wrap my arms around my middle, feeling my usual sense of overwhelm when I talk about what needs to be done.
‘Ancient trees need a lot more protection than they’re currently being given and we need to step up the number of new trees being planted too, amongst many other things,’ I go on when he doesn’t say anything.
‘Trouble is, the whole enterprise needs a huge injection of money and effort to turn it around, not to mention more serious support for policy changes. We need to act fast, before the 2030 deadline’ – I glance at Kit now, who’s staring straight ahead as we walk – ‘the year that’s been agreed for reaching the targets set to stop the decline in species and protect 30 per cent of our land and sea for nature.
We’ve got a massive job on our hands. Massive. ’
‘It sounds like you’re really passionate about what you do,’ he says quietly.
‘I really am. I’d be devastated to give it up. There’s a lovely family-like atmosphere between the staff where I work and it’s so great to feel we’re all working towards a common goal.’
‘Yeah, sure,’ Kit murmurs.
I bristle as I wonder whether I’m boring him. It certainly seems like his thoughts are far away.
But maybe he’s just tired. We were up late and then I dragged him out of bed before dawn.
The thought of this brings it back to me how exhausted I am, and I let out a loud yawn behind my hand.
‘Time for some breakfast and an enormous coffee?’ he suggests, looking over at me. ‘Or are you going back to bed?’
‘Hmm. It’s tempting, but I’m on a tight schedule, which I need to stick to if I’m going to do everything I’ve planned while I’m here. So I choose breakfast.’
‘Right,’ is all he says to this.
‘What are your plans for the rest of the day?’ I ask tentatively as the hotel comes into sight in the distance. I don’t want to seem too clingy, but I wouldn’t be totally against spending more time with him today.
Now I’m getting used to his company.
‘I thought I’d get my PA to book me a private boat ride down the river. Fancy coming with me? You’d be welcome to,’ he says, turning to raise questioning eyebrows at me.
I pause. As much as I’d like to keep hanging out, I don’t want to miss out on the things I’ve arranged and I’m looking forward to.
‘Thanks, but I already have a boat ride booked,’ I say. ‘It’s at two o’clock. It’s not a private one though, obviously.’
‘Oh, right. Where does that go from?’
‘From Kameoka.’ I pause, wondering whether I should say what’s on the tip of my tongue. I decide just to go for it. There’s no point in pretending anything at this point.
‘You know, I have a spare ticket if you’d like to come with me,’ I say. ‘I booked for Adrian and me to do it together and they wouldn’t give me a refund for his ticket because it was outside the timeframe they allow for cancellations.’
‘Seriously? You wouldn’t mind me tagging along?’
‘Nah. It’d be a shame to waste the ticket. Come and be with the real people, billionaire. You might have a lot more fun that way, instead of pretending you’d rather be on your own, which I know is total bullshit.’
He lets out a bark of laughter. ‘You know me too well.’
‘Yeah, I do.’ I flip him a grin.
‘That’s the thing about being really wealthy,’ he says. ‘It’s kind of hard to spend the money sometimes.’
I roll my eyes in jest. ‘Yeah, that sounds really tough. Such a hard life you lead. I’m not sure how you cope, to be honest.’
‘No, hear me out before you judge me,’ he says with a sting of hurt in his voice. ‘Most of my friends, other than Elliot and Raffa, don’t have the same sort of liquid wealth that I do. So if I want to go on a five-star holiday I’m limited as to who I can ask to come with me.’
‘You could always come down to their level, you know, and do something cheaper.’
‘Yeah, I know, and I do. But sometimes I want to have a blowout and treat myself, but I have to do it alone.’
‘So you’re telling me that being a billionaire is lonely?’
‘It can be, yeah.’ He holds up a hand. ‘I know, I sound like a total dick right now. One per cent problems and all that. But I can’t even offer to treat anyone and pay for them because it can be a point of pride thing.
People don’t want to be paid for, it dings their own sense of status and integrity. ’
‘Poor little rich Kit.’ I jostle him with my elbow.
‘Yeah, yeah. Okay. Maybe I deserve that. I know this must sound like utter bullshit to you. But it’s one of the reasons I ended up with Katya I think.
Because she was more than happy for me to pay for everything and come with me when I wanted to do something that was prohibitively expensive for everyone else. ’
‘What is it about prohibitively expensive that appeals to you?’ I ask.
‘The sense of winning at something maybe? I’m doing something most other people don’t have access to.’
‘So it’s like being a member of an exclusive club?’
‘I guess so.’ He winces. ‘God, that sounds so crass when I hear it out loud.’ He rubs his hand over his face.
‘I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m starting to recognise that I probably made a bad choice in Katya because she encouraged that kind of thinking.
Which for someone like me, who’s always felt like he’s chasing to keep up with everyone else, especially my siblings, was like feeding a monster. ’
‘Well, as long as you learned something from it, it wasn’t a total bust.’
‘Yeah. Maybe.’
We’re quiet for a moment.
‘So what do you say?’ I ask, to break the silence. ‘Fancy coming on the boat ride with me?’
He gives me a nonchalant shrug, which I suspect he’s putting on. ‘Sure, why not.’
‘Okay, great. Well, we’ll need to get a train over there, so meet me in reception at one thirty?’
‘Will do, captain.’
I can’t hide my grin at that. ‘Great. See you then.’
* * *
Kit
The boat station is busy.
So busy we have to take a ticket and are directed to sit on some hard-backed plastic chairs until our number appears on a TV screen above us. It’s a little like waiting for the doctor.
There’s a gift shop though – of course there is – so we spend a bit of time looking at the tourist-centric nonsense that we have no intention of buying and at the row of vending machines selling ice creams and drinks.
These seem to be everywhere you go in Japan – pretty much on every street corner.
They have a vending machine for everything here.
I’m told you can even buy a single glass of wine from some of them, which pretty much blows my mind.
To be fair to it, the boat ride business is a slick operation and our number appears pretty quickly.
We’re taken down to where the long wooden boat is moored against the wharf with about twenty other people and given slim lifejackets to put on.
Then we’re directed to climb into the boat and take a seat on one of the long wooden benches that run from port to starboard across it.