Chapter 9 #2
The sun is beating down on us now and I’m glad I thought to put some sunscreen on, though I can still feel the intensity of the rays warming my skin.
A trickle of sweat makes a path down the middle of my back.
We’re at the rear of the group of people coming on this trip and Chloe climbs in first, then I follow her and sit down on the bench at the starboard side of the boat.
Somehow we’ve ended up at the prow, sitting directly in front of one of the guys who’s going to be taking us down the river using a long pole, a bit like they do in the punts they have in Cambridge.
Only, as we set off, it becomes clear that these guys use the pole at the front of the boat, pushing it down into the river bed then running forwards, whilst pushing back against it to move the boat forwards in the water.
I feel exhausted just watching him.
And not only that, he manages to keep up an amusing running commentary with the guy at the back of the boat who’s on the rudder, making sure we don’t drift into the bank on either side of us.
It’s like listening to a two-man comedy skit.
They’re charming and funny and informative about the history and geography of the area in equal measure and it just blows my mind that they do this for a living.
It’s a very different life from mine, spending hours inside an office, staring at a computer screen or on the phone.
Chloe seems to be really enjoying herself and is alternately gazing around at the knock-out beautiful scenery, which includes rows of cherry trees in full bloom, hanging out amongst the lush greenery, and watching the fit young Japanese guy who’s expertly moving a boat full of people along the river, hitting each of the push points in the rocks at the side of us with his pole in order for us to avoid crashing into them.
I’m hyper aware that I wouldn’t have had this experience in the private motorboat that I was thinking of hiring.
I’d have been on my own, only glancing at the trees and thinking about what I was going to do when I got back to the hotel.
And if Katya had been with me, she’d have been on her phone the whole time, checking out her social media feeds.
She’s obsessed with them. Especially if she thinks she’s going to get a photo or name check on any of them.
This is a million times better. A billion.
Particularly because I’m really appreciating seeing Chloe enjoying herself.
It brings it home to me that I never really felt that when I was with Katya.
I guess because both of us always went with the most expensive option, which in retrospect felt cool but wasn’t always the most fun.
She’d spend most of the time being hyper aware of other people watching us as we lorded it up and was quite clearly performing for them.
And because she was used to the finer things in life, it meant there was a lot to compete with in order to have a top-notch, unique experience.
Just as I’m thinking this, the boat dips down into a rapid in the water and a big wave of water sloshes up over the side of the boat and straight into my lap.
I give a yelp of surprise, mostly because the water’s bloody cold, but also because it now looks as though I’ve had an embarrassing accident.
‘They did just tell us to hold up the tarpaulin if we were worried about getting wet,’ Chloe points out with a barely concealed grin at my expense.
I give her a twisted smile back, telling myself I’ll get my own back on her later. Perhaps when we’re in bed together again.
At the thought of this, my body gives a deep shudder of anticipated pleasure, and she looks over at me again with a more concerned expression this time.
‘Are you okay? Cold?’ she asks.
‘My crotch is. Fancy warming it up for me?’ I joke, laughing when she rolls her eyes at me.
But the idea of having her straddling me and wrapping those long shapely legs around my back sticks around in my head for longer than is decent as we glide through the rest of the rapids without further incident.
I’m distracted from my thoughts when I feel her elbow urgently nudge my ribs and she leans in to say, ‘Hey, look. There are monkeys over there on the bank,’ with such wonder and joy in her voice it makes my heart flip.
I turn to look in the direction she’s pointing and see she’s right, there are three monkeys sitting on one of the flat rocks part-buried in the bank to the right of us, casually hanging out and watching as we sail past them.
Well, that’s fucking cool.
I turn back to her and smile, acutely aware of how special this shared moment is. I love the unguarded happiness she seems so willing to show me now. There’s no posturing here. It’s her pure, genuine reaction to something that gives her joy.
And it’s cost me nothing.
* * *
Chloe
I’m really glad Kit decided to come with me on this trip.
Especially as I just got to see a huge wave of water land solidly in his lap and his resulting comical reaction.
It was the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while.
He was a good sport about it though. I liked that. If it had been Adrian that had happened to, he’d have been bitching and moaning about it for the rest of the trip.
So that’s interesting.
In fact, having some space from Adrian has actually given me a chance to examine the real shape our relationship was in and stop skirting past the issues I’d told myself to ignore because ‘no-one’s perfect’.
I’d thought he was pretty perfect for me once, because he seemed, on paper, to have everything I looked for in a partner: dependability, a strong work ethic, emotional intelligence and kindness.
But I’m now beginning to realise a lot of that was a smoke-screen, not just for me, but for his God-fearing parents too.
Since he was young, he’s felt the need to give everyone everything they wanted from him, like a true people-pleaser, but the pressure of this obviously got too much and his real needs and wants finally took over.
When I think about it now, I’m aware I was putting down his increasing withdrawal, and the distance that was growing between us, to him being stressed about the wedding.
I just saw what I wanted to see.
More fool me.
I wish he’d been brave enough to talk to me about how he was really feeling: trapped into something he didn’t really want, or more to the point, in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong person.
I’m suddenly aware I’ve been staring out at the bank with a frown on my face when Kit puts his hand onto my leg to get my attention.
‘You okay? I feel like I lost you there for a second.’
I give myself an internal shake and flash him a smile, the skin on my leg where he touched me blooming with delicious heat. ‘Yup, still very much here. Just thinking.’
‘About?’ he asks.
I shake my head. ‘Nothing of any consequence. I’m loving this though,’ I say, waving my hand at the lush scenery sliding past us as the boat moves into a wider part of the river.
We appear to be making a beeline towards another craft with a canopy stretched above it, which seems to be waiting for us to catch up with it.
As we draw alongside, I see it’s loaded with snacks and drinks for the occupants of our boat to buy and consume as we finish our journey along the river. A floating 7-Eleven, if you will.
‘Want anything?’ Kit asks me as a server on the boat comes within speaking distance of where we’re sitting.
‘I’ll have a peach juice please,’ I say, suddenly aware of how thirsty I am after spending an hour on the river in the sunshine.
Kit orders my drink and a Coke for himself and hands mine over, our fingers bumping as I take it from him.
Electric sensation prickles along my hand and up my arm. My body seems intent on responding to his at every opportunity. I’ve never had this kind of reaction to anyone else in my life, not even Adrian, I realise. It’s almost as if Kit and I are connected by some kind of magnetic charge.
What a weird thought.
I’m pulled out of my musings when the shop-boat glides away from us and we continue on our way, our hosts picking up their patter of chatter as we make our final part of the journey back to Arashiyama.
Kit points out our hotel, sitting proudly on the top of the bank, looking beautiful and regal but absolutely part of the landscape as we sail past it. I feel a rush of pride to be staying there.
This is one holiday I’ll never forget.
A few minutes later, we come out into the wide mouth of the river at Arashiyama, where the boat docks against a jetty and we all clamber out and stretch our limbs after being so sedentary for the last hour and a half.
‘Well, that was awesome. Thanks for bringing me along,’ Kit says, drawing me against his body and wrapping his arms around my back in a bear-like hug.
I breathe him in, my senses spinning with a weird sort of confusion that comes out of nowhere. His smell is so familiar, yet so exotic and I can’t quite get a handle on how it’s making me feel.
I think it’s a weird mixture of nostalgia and anticipation.
‘You’re welcome,’ I mutter against his chest, squeezing my eyes shut and for just one moment allowing myself to enjoy being enveloped by him and everything I’m experiencing right now.
I breathe it in, then breathe it out.
Then I disentangle myself from his arms and take a step back away from him.
My stomach feels like it’s full of insects.
‘Hey. Want to grab some lunch?’ he asks, not seeming to notice my agitation.
I pause, still struggling to get on top of all the emotions I’m feeling right now.
‘Err, actually I thought I’d go back to the hotel for a bit and rest,’ I say, not able to look at him and instead pretending to gaze out across the water to where more boats are appearing and heading towards the dock.
‘Oh. Okay. Sure. No problem,’ he says, but I could swear there’s squashed disappointment in his tone.
I stretch my arms above my head, pushing away the feeling of guilt.
I really need a bit of time on my own to recover and regroup.
‘My back’s still a bit sore from sitting for so long on the plane and just now on the boat,’ I tell him, to assure him my disappearing act isn’t because I don’t want to hang out with him.
‘I was hoping to get a massage this afternoon but reception tells me all the treatments are fully booked so I thought I’d do some yoga instead to try and loosen myself up. ’
He frowns. ‘Fully booked?’
‘Yeah.’
I watch as he slides his phone out of his back pocket, and before I can say anything else he makes a call to the hotel and tells them he wants a massage appointment made available for me in an hour’s time.
‘Oh my God, you didn’t need to do that,’ I say, half scandalised, half impressed when he cuts the call.
‘If I can’t use my influence for getting your back fixed what’s it good for?’ he says with a wry grin.
‘I hope I haven’t taken someone else’s slot,’ I ask fretfully.
‘You haven’t. I have my own personal therapist assigned to my apartment, who’s available whenever I want them.’
I swallow. ‘Wow. That’s cool.’
‘It is,’ he says with a grin. ‘And they’re all yours this week. Feel free to use them whenever you want.’
‘That’s really kind of you,’ I say, blown away by his generosity.
I don’t want him to think I’m just using him for his perks though, so I say, ‘You know, I’ve been thinking about trying out one of the sashimi restaurants in Pontocho Alley this evening. Fancy coming with me?’
He gives one of his shrugs. ‘Sure. I’ve never had sashimi. That’s raw fish, right?’ he says, sounding a little unsure about my choice of meal.
I grin at him. ‘So I hear. I just wanted to try it once so I can say I’ve eaten it.’
‘Okay. You’re on,’ he says, this time with more enthusiasm.
‘Great, then it’s a date.’