21 — Catarina Rowedder
“The only time I fall
That's when I feel
The only time they realize
I disappear"
We were friends — Ellie Goulding
I wake up to a notification on my cell phone. John. It had been three weeks since we had exchanged our numbers and we spoke daily by text.
At first I felt a little “stuck” about it, but little by little, I began to “loosen up” and have fun with our conversations, which ranged across different topics such as: movies, video games, places to visit, food. and even books. This last one made me discover that he is not part of the gang. Bookgram , however, he listens to me carefully and questions the “dubious” attitudes of some characters, in this case the anti—heroes who surrender to the girl and I particularly love it!
He's wonderful, I must admit, so over the last few days, I've decided I want to be more adventurous. The night before, I sent him a photo of me, wearing a dress I bought last week, after leaving the therapist — in fact, my appointments with her are becoming increasingly productive — asking if it suited me.
After feeling very bold, I simply didn't have the courage to see his response. However, now I'm anxious.
______________________
John: Good morning, beautiful!
About the dress, you are
all snakes!! ;)
______________________
As soon as I see it, the phone starts ringing, I confirm it's him and answer.
— Hey! — I say, stretching.
— Good morning, my beauty. Still in bed?
— Yes. It's Saturday, John.
— Hmm... interesting. So tell me, any appointments for this morning?
— Actually, none, I'm alone. Beni went to spend the weekend with his parents.
— So, young lady, get ready, I'm coming to get you. Let's have coffee together.
— I don't know, I didn't tell Beni. — I'm undecided.
— I already spoke to him. You can rest assured. I'll be there in a little while. Before you ask, I have the address. Kiss, beautiful! — Hang up, not giving me the opportunity to refuse.
Well, this will be interesting. As Dr. Lynn told me, let it happen, if it happens, it happens. I shouldn't rush anything, and precisely because of that, I know I'm ready for whatever happens.
John and I have talked about everything these last few days, I like him as a person and I'm sure he doesn't pose any danger.
Minutes after I finished getting ready, the doorbell rings. I peek through the peephole — to make sure it's him, since I let him in — and see his killer smile.
— Good morning, John! — I give him a hug as soon as I open the door and he hugs me against him.
— Good morning, beautiful. Ready for our coffee?
— Very ready! I'm fine like this? — I turn it around so he can see.
— Fucking hot! — I look into his eyes, smiling. — Yeah, sorry, Nina. You are beautiful. — He runs his hand through his hair. — Fuck it! It's really delicious, I won't leave my sincerity aside.
Your comment makes us laugh. Knowing that you think I'm hot only increases my self—love even more. I feel like girl power, literally. Powerful, magnificent and wanting more.
— He comes! Let's leave, before I talk too much. — He pulls me by the hand. — By the way, I loved the dress.
Yes, believe me, I couldn't think of any other outfit other than the said dress. It's black, goes up to half of my thighs, thin straps and a loose fit, giving a slight swirly movement and on top, to top it off, I threw on a moss green blazer and on my feet, a pair of black combat boots, making my look more casual. .
We get to his car and I'm taken by surprise. I don't care about anyone's money, but to me, he looks more like someone who drives a motorcycle, no, a Ferrari.
— Let's go?
— Come on, I'm hungry... I'm really hungry — I whisper, as I pass by him, who had already opened the door for me.
I swear I hear a growl coming from him, but it must be in my head or not. The anxiety is consuming me, but I feel so ready for whatever happens next.
However, I am certain, I will kiss that mouth today!
He gets in, turns on his playlist and starts up.
— Where will we go? — I decide to break the silence that has arisen.
— Where we met. In fact, I'll show you around my house. I hope you enjoy it.
— All good. I think this is the first time I've gone out like this. Thank you for giving me a new experience.
— Nina, we are friends, we can have different experiences together.
My panties would be destroyed at this point, however, I'm not wearing one.
Of course, many people would think it's too bold, but I'm a woman and I've been researching some things on my dear friend Google, I think I'll call him my best friend.
Anyway, I discovered that this is something that makes men, let's say, looser.
If this will work? I will only know later.
— Ready. We’re here, beautiful,” he says, parking in the House Beer garage. — I hope you enjoy it. — Extend your hand.
As soon as we enter the pub, I see a table next to the bar counter, filled with fruit, muffins, croissants, pancakes and various delicacies that I love.
— Wow! This feels like a date — loose, without thinking.
— Have you ever been to one? — Nego. — Then, welcome to your first date. — He turns around, facing me and I can’t resist.
I take the initiative, kissing him, touching his lips lightly.
— Do you want a real kiss, beautiful? — he asks, caressing my face and holding my waist.
— I really want it. — I smile. — I just don't know how to do it, John, but I want to try everything I want.
At the same moment, he places our mouths together, asking for passage with his tongue and I reciprocate, wrapping my hands around the back of his neck, wanting to feel him close to me. I feel his hand coming down and reaching my ass, however, he stops and moves away.
— You... — I pulled him. — Nina, why?
— Yes, because I didn't want to use it. You can touch me, because I don't want to stop, John. We've already talked about this. I want to experience new things, allow myself.
Yes, in one of our conversations, I opened up to him and said that I was still a virgin, that's all, nothing more. I said I didn't care about that fact, I just didn't feel ready. Of course it's still true, but I hadn't told the full story.
— He is sure? I won't be able to control myself after that kiss and know that, damn it! You're not wearing panties! — Apparently, Mr. Google knows things.
“Come here, John,” I whisper.
He literally grabs me, lifting me by the waist and taking my mouth for himself, again.
He places me carefully on the counter, without moving our mouths away, caressing my skin. When he reaches my breasts, I feel my lower abdomen tremble, my body seems crazy, feeling great pleasure from his touches.
— I'm going to take you to my room or we're going to end up fucking here, and I don't want that. Not for your first time.
— Just kiss me, don’t stop — I respond breathlessly.
He lifts me onto his lap, still kissing me, I tighten my legs around his waist and start rubbing myself, shamelessly.
Right now, it's just my body reacting to all the sensations, nothing more. He lays me down on his bed, starts to undress and I just stay, admiring the spectacle in front of me.
When he is down to his underwear, I ask him to stop and sit on the bed. John does so, a little confused, but I want to do the same. I want to undress for him, my body is asking.
So, without taking my eyes off him, I do so and with that, another barrier of mine slowly breaks down.
When there's nothing left, he pulls me towards him and we rub each other, until he throws me on the bed and says:
— Nina, now it’s the two of us pleasuring ourselves, okay?
— Yes, just do something, I want to cum.
— Have you ever done this alone?
— Already! But do you, on me.
Then he does the unexpected, he starts licking and sucking me, sometimes sticking his tongue in, sometimes giving light bites. When he inserts a finger, he almost brings me to orgasm, instantly.
— Calm down, hottie. I'm preparing you to receive me — he said, introducing another finger and rotating them inside me.
I don't even know what world I'm in anymore, this is really delicious and I can't take much longer, exploding in orgasm. He takes off his underwear and puts on a condom, without taking his eyes off me.
— I'll be careful, whatever, tell me and I'll stop, okay?
— John, come in at once, I'm not made of crystal and I'm still hungry. — Maliciously, I run my tongue across my lips.
By God, I'm a wanton!
— So, let's satisfy our hunger, delicious — he says, entering slowly, I know it's so I can get used to it, but soon after, I feel a burning sensation take over me.
Noticing my slight discomfort, John hugs me and starts kissing me, placing one of his hands on my breast, massaging it and warning me that he will move slowly. I only agree, as a wave of heat begins to course through my body, adrenaline taking over me, with his movements.
— Faster, John. Give me all.
So he does, moving and realizing that my body was preparing itself again to release my pleasure, he lowers his hand to my clitoris and starts massaging it, while his mouth takes one of my breasts. It doesn't take long before I convulse, freeing myself from this desire.
He comes soon after, I hear his growls. Then he pulls out of me, heading to the bathroom, while I stand there, thinking about how I hadn't done this before.
Sex is life, and I think I'm really releasing the wantonness in me. There is no other explanation.
— How are you, beautiful? — he asks when he returns to the room.
— Yes, thank you. That was… — Sigh. — I don't even have words, I just know that sex is the best thing in life. Definitely.
It's evening when John brings me home.
We spent a pleasant day together, he explained a lot of things to me regarding sex, oddly enough, it was easy for me to open up to him. We cooked together, watched movies, napped, and before coming, we had a very enlightening conversation about the two of us.
Anyone listening to us would think it was the end of a failed relationship, but after spending the whole day together, we realized that we are more like best friends, without casual sex being involved.
I throw myself on the bed and mentally replay our conversation:
“— Catarina, come here — he called me affectionately into his arms. — I want you to know that for me, being part of this moment was very special, more than you can imagine. You are an incredible woman, Catarina, and whatever happened to you, I know you are overcoming it. However, I think today was beyond exceptional for both of us. Maybe you don't understand me now, but one day, you'll thank me. — He stroked my hair and made me look at him. — One day soon, I hope, you will meet someone who will rock your entire world, you will have an inexplicable connection and I want you to have as many experiences with that person as you can. So, my beautiful, I want you to know that I will always be here for you, whenever. However, I think we should keep our moment today as a beautiful memory.
— Truly, it is a moment that I will remember forever, and don't worry, I don't see your words as rejection, but rather as affection. We have to agree, our day today was more friendly than casual sex. — I hugged him. — And John, I'm sorry, but if this is your way of dumping girls, they're really screwed!
— Why the screws? — he asked, laughing.
? — They must fall in love instantly. Luckily, that's not my case, otherwise I'd leave here straight for a thousand tubs of ice cream.”