Chapter 18
Later that morning, as Georgiana was playing a new musical composition from the sheet music he had recently bought her, a note arrived. It was addressed to his sister.
There was only one person currently in London who wrote to Georgiana, and that was Mrs. Gardiner. His pulse began to hammer as he waited for Georgiana to tell him what it was about. No doubt it was about the Gardiners’ plans to attend Astley’s Amphitheater.
“Oh!” she exclaimed. “Mrs. Gardiner writes to say Miss Bennet is leaving town tomorrow!” She looked up from the note, her brow furrowed. “Oh, no! I shall miss her! This really is distressing news.”
Darcy stood up abruptly, knocking over his teacup. He cursed under his breath as the dark brew dripped from the tablecloth onto his buff trousers.
“I must go and change,” he said, regarding the damage in dismay. At least the tea had not been hot enough to burn him.
He strode across the music room, trying to calm his errant thoughts. Was this, then, the end? Would Miss Bennet simply disappear from his life?
Just as he reached the door, he turned back. He needed to know more. Was there a reason for Miss Bennet’s sudden departure?
“Tell me! What else did Mrs. Gardiner say?”
“Here,” said Georgiana, giving him the paper. “Why not read it yourself?”
He strode over quickly, took it and skimmed through. He found no explanation of this sudden decision. He read it through again more slowly.
Dear Georgiana,
I hope you are well. I am writing with unhappy news. Miss Bennet is planning to leave early tomorrow morning. I thought you should know.
If you wish to say goodbye to Miss Bennet before she leaves, we will be promenading on the Queen’s Walk at two o’clock this afternoon.
If we do not meet with you today, I hope you will visit us soon, even if Miss Bennet is no longer here. Maggie keeps asking when you will be coming again.”
Darcy handed the note back to Georgiana, trying to come to terms with this sudden development. He had been expecting Miss Bennet to leave, but he had not imagined it would be so soon.
“We must, of course, go and say goodbye to Miss Bennet,” said Georgiana. “Especially you.”
Should he say goodbye to Miss Bennet? He did not want to impose. He would not impose. But the answer was clear. He needed to see her one last time.
He spent the rest of the morning in a state of impatience, willing time to pass quickly.
He could not bear the thought of her leaving.
It had only been three weeks since he had first met Miss Bennet, and yet in that short time she had somehow become woven into the fabric of his life.
He had tried to move on, to forget that she existed.
He had told himself he would forget her.
Yet she continued to haunt him, day and night.
How was he to live without her? His life stretched before him leached of color, a rainy type of grey.
Then, finally the hour of reckoning arrived.
Darcy and Georgiana set out for Green Park.
At his insistence, they arrived early. Although the Queen’s Walk was an obvious choice, Mrs. Gardiner had not specified at which end they would be.
Darcy was worried that the two parties would not find each other, and that Miss Bennet would leave before they had a chance to talk.
He had no idea what would come of this meeting, if anything, but, come what may, he intended to see her before she left. His eyes searched every corner of the park, hoping to spot Miss Bennet’s familiar figure.
“Look, William,” said Georgiana, pointing under a tree. “There is a snowdrop.”
There was no doubt about it. The small white bloom had pushed its way above the ground, delicate but defiant. The weather was turning.
He looked around him for the first time. It was a pleasant afternoon. The cold had retreated. White clouds were drifting across an azure sky, and the park was paved in afternoon light.
Darcy knew he was clutching at straws, but he took it as a harbinger of hope. Suddenly, a sense of renewed determination seeped into him.
What was the point, in any case, of holding back? This might well be the last time he saw Miss Bennet. Much as he wished to respect her wishes, he could not simply let her disappear from his life. After all, what did he have to lose? What good would it do if he kept his pride and lost the world?
If he had hesitated to dive in when Margaret had fallen into the lake, she might have drowned. It was time for him to take the plunge and risk everything.
Filled with a sense of feverish purpose, he began to mentally rehearse what he would say to her. He would do it right this time.
“There they are,” said his sister, interrupting his carefully constructed speech.
There she was. The sight of her sent his heart scurrying. He could hardly breathe. He struggled to control the impulse to run towards her and enfold her in his arms. His gaze dwelled on the beauty of her form, the elegant curves, the luminescent glow of her skin.
He was vaguely aware that Mrs. Gardiner and his sister were standing close by, but Miss Bennet took up all his field of vision.
He opened his mouth to speak, but all the words he had rehearsed evaded him. His tongue was tied up in knots.
“Miss Bennet,” he finally managed to say, though the words tripped on his tongue and came out breathless. “Good afternoon.”
“Good afternoon, sir.” She blushed very prettily. His eyes lingered, trying to take in every detail of her face.
He went to her side, and they began to walk in the same direction.
They fell into a heavy silence. Miss Bennet was uncharacteristically flustered.
He imagined she found it awkward having to talk to him.
Her rejection loomed large in his mind. He was doubly embarrassed as he remembered how horribly he had presented his proposal.
“I heard you are leaving tomorrow,” he said. “Is there a particular reason?”
“I have been away from my family too long.”
At the mention of her family, it occurred to him he knew absolutely nothing about her life at Longbourn.
“We have never talked about your family. Do you have brothers and sisters?”
“I have four sisters. One older than me, and the rest younger. The youngest is Miss Darcy’s age.”
“I cannot imagine having so many siblings,” he remarked. “For most of my time when I was growing up, I was an only child.”
Miss Bennet nodded, but her mind was elsewhere.
“Mr. Darcy, I need to speak to you,” she said.
Darcy was gripped with a sudden panic. Had Mr. Millett offered for her? Was she about to announce her engagement?
“What is it, Miss Elizabeth?” His heart was thumping so loudly he was certain she could hear it. “What do you wish to tell me?”
Her cheeks were scarlet. “It is just that Mr. Millett is on the verge of offering for me, but I do not know if I should accept him.”
He was giddy with relief. She was not about to marry Mr. Millett. Not yet, at any rate. But why was she asking for Darcy’s opinion? Did she genuinely want to know if he approved of Mr. Millett, or was there something more to it? Was she inviting him to renew his proposal?
He was in an agony of indecision.
He could not be certain. He had to tread carefully if he wanted to discern the reason for her question.
“Mr. Millett is a worthy gentleman,” he said, carefully. “I have no objection to him in principle. I have no doubt he will make someone a very good husband.” He paused. “But I do not believe that someone is you.”
She was quiet for a long time. He stole a glance at her. She was looking uncommonly grave.
“Yes,” she said at last. “You are right. But what reason can I give to turn him down?”
His pulse leapt. This was his opportunity. This was his chance. He could take it, and hope that he had understood her correctly, or he could retreat, and keep himself safe.
He chose to risk it all. If there was a chance – even a sliver of a chance – then he had to take it. If not, he would regret it for the rest of his life. He tried again to remember the words he had practiced earlier, but they escaped him.
In the end, he simply could not hold back any longer. He took a deep breath and plunged.
“Miss Bennet,” he murmured. “Do not go.”
He started to speak quickly, before she could interrupt him and turn him away.
“I would like to apologize for the appalling manner of my proposal. You must forget everything I told you that day. It has been some time now that I have become convinced that you are the only person I would wish to marry.” He looked deep into her beautiful eyes.
“Last time, you provided me with a list of reasons we should not marry. Do those reasons still stand?”
He waited for the axe to fall. For her to tell him nothing had changed. That he had mistaken her meaning when she asked about Mr. Millett.
She gave a choked laugh. “I cannot even recall the reasons,” she said.
Hope blazed inside him. He threw caution to the wind.
“Then you must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you. Miss Elizabeth Bennet, will you do me the great honor of being my wife? It would be my privilege if you would accept.”
“Yes, Mr. Darcy. Yes!”
He grasped her gloved hand fervently and brought it to his lips, seeking the tender skin about the edge of the glove. She shivered in response. It was all he could do to stop himself from pulling her into his arms and showering her with kisses.
“Mr. Darcy,” she said, in warning.
They were in a public place, surrounded by members of Society. A group of young bucks were standing close by. Darcy groaned as one of them turned around and recognized him.
“Look! There is Mr. Darcy with the Siren!”
To his utter and complete surprise, he found himself laughing. He was too happy to care what they said. Instead, Darcy turned to Miss Bennet. “Shall we give them something to gossip about?”
Miss Bennet – Elizabeth – gave him a mischievous glance. “I think we should.”