Lady Sings the Blues
When Anna was eleven years old, her cousin Serena had come to live with the family. Serena’s father, Uncle Gus, was the favourite of all Anna’s uncles, and the arrival of his family normally coincided with festivities and celebrations. Even though this time Serena was to stay on her own, Anna still looked forward to an entire summer of her cousin’s presence, the way she looked forward to Christmas and birthdays.
It hadn’t quite worked out like that. Serena became Eleanor’s best friend and Anna was demoted. Still, Serena was generous-hearted enough to make all her cousins welcome and the two years she spent as part of their family forged bonds between them all.
When Anna arrived at boarding school, she was guaranteed an easy passage protected by the two popular older girls. Although Anna’s own tongue was sharp enough that few would risk it being turned on them, she was grateful for Serena’s unthinking friendship. She is not as close to her cousin as she is to her sister, but that is only to be expected. She is, though, certain of a warm welcome.
Having followed her plan for a nap, Anna is in good spirits as she leaves the hotel. She forgets her annoyance with John, James, and Bella (in that order) as she climbs into a taxi and heads off to meet her cousin. The taxi stops outside of a high-rise block. Stepping out of the air-conditioned taxi, she is assaulted by the heat of the streets as she stands on the sidewalk. She has to crane her neck to see the sky above, although the building is further dwarfed by the surrounding skyscrapers. The light of the setting sun reflects off the plate glass frontages in a blinding display of orange and gold.
With one last glance around at the traffic, the cluster of towering blocks, the endless concrete, steel and glass, Anna enters the cool quiet of the foyer. It feels like a transition to another world. When Serena opens her door and hugs Anna, her genuine pleasure at seeing her cousin warms Anna’s soul. Serena tows Anna behind her past shut doors and into an open-plan kitchen-dining-living space, all glossy surfaces and minimalist furniture. It is rather soulless, although Anna would never say it aloud. The view redeems the space. A host of tall buildings stretch skywards, like a giant crystal growing kit. Serena is uncorking a bottle of cava before Anna can stop her and carrying glasses to a white melamine coffee table – the sort that looks like it comes from IKEA but undoubtedly costs two orders of magnitude more.
Serena perches on the sofa, one leg under her, one leg on the floor, and takes an immense gulp of wine. Anna sincerely hopes her cousin does not expect her to match that pace and takes a small sip. It is cold and fresh and gently fizzy. It is good. Serena jumps up again and returns with two pre-prepared charcuterie boards. Serena’s text had said I’ll do food and Anna had wondered. Serena is no more a domestic goddess than Anna. She is relieved – she will need something to mop up the alcohol. Even though she has no conference sessions tomorrow, she doesn’t fancy sightseeing with a hangover. Nor wasting her free time in LA lying in bed, nursing a headache.
She takes a water biscuit, and layers cheese and sundried tomato on it as Serena slumps beside her. Just as she bites it, Serena asks, “So how are you finding LA?”
Anna nods and chews quickly. “I haven’t seen much of it yet, but I’ve got the next couple of days free. I’m hoping to pack in the sightseeing.”
Serena clicks her tongue. “Shame,” she says. “I’d take you around, but I’m flying out again tomorrow first thing.”
“Weren’t you just in a desert?” Anna looks around at the sparse apartment. There are no dog-eared magazines or books half-read. No photos line the walls, no ornaments in the solitary shelving unit, not a single plant drooping dusty and forgotten in a corner. She contrasts it with her own attic apartment and its cushions and snuggle blankets, its piles of medical textbooks interspersed with paperback thrillers. She thought she spent little time at home working long hours, but this is even worse.
“That’s my life,” says Serena with a small smile.
“You could change it.” Anna is a fixer, not a listener.
“It suits me.” Serena ducks her head, hiding her eyes from Anna’s scrutiny.
“Even with the cost?” Anna’s question is probing, but her voice is gentle. She’s not trying to force Serena to change, merely to check whether her cousin is truly content to sacrifice her relationship with Frankie to keep her career on track. Eleanor has never had to make the choice, but if Anna were ever forced, she feels she would make the same decision as Serena. Being a medic is at the core of her soul.
Serena bites her lip and lifts her eyes. “Even with the cost.”
And Anna nods. “Eleanor is worried about you.”
“Eleanor is all loved up and wants everyone else to feel the same.” Serena gives a half-smile. “I could say she is worried about you, too.”
“True,” Anna agrees. Having discovered her own happiness, Eleanor can’t comprehend letting anyone else miss out.
“You know, Eleanor and I once spied on Jacob and his friend skinny dipping. I think we were only thirteen at the time – it was the first summer I spent with you. Maybe that’s what did it for her. She never got over her first sight of dick.”
Anna snort laughs. “Good job you’re not built that way. Otherwise you’d be sitting at home married to a soldier, popping out babies while you wait for your man to come back from duty!”
Serena gives a fake shudder. “Let’s all be grateful. I don’t think I’d make anyone a dutiful wife. If I’d been born a century ago, I’d have been one of those eccentric women explorers, bundling my bustle onto a camel somewhere.” They both laugh at the image.
“Still,” Serena draws a breath. “I was surprised when she married him. I honestly thought she and Tolly Hyde would make a go of it.”
Anna’s ears prick up. She cannot believe her luck. Serena has brought up the subject without even being led to it. This was what Anna had been half-hoping to hear. Eleanor and Tolly had got together while Anna had been busy in London, paying very little attention to her sister’s love life. “Why did you think that?” she asks cautiously.
“I was at Larkford Hall one evening and Tolly was there. I don’t think anyone in the room could mistake how much he liked Eleanor.” This simple sentence has the oddest effect on Anna. She feels twisted inside. Thankfully, Serena doesn’t notice. She is looking down at her glass of wine and remembering. “He kissed her and she got cross. But you know your sister. She can get her knickers in a twist over the tiniest bit of rule-breaking.”
“Like stealing quad bikes?” Anna makes a reference to one of Serena’s less successful adventures.
“Exactly. Then Frankie told me later all seemed forgiven and they were dating. She thought it was a grand romance. And it fed through, you know. I know he’s a good actor but there’s something exceptional about his Mr Darcy. He was the absolute epitome of a man suffused with barely contained love. My theory is he was imagining Eleanor every time he stood opposite Lizzie Bennett. The whole series was carried by him.”
Not sure if she wants to hear any more, Anna picks an olive from the charcuterie board and pops it in her mouth.
“Then the next thing I heard was he was here in Hollywood and Eleanor was dating Jacob. It just didn’t add up.”
“Do you know what happened between them?” Anna holds her breath.
“No. At least no more than you, I suspect. Your sister is a very private person. All she said to me was that Tolly had gone to Hollywood. An offer he couldn’t refuse. There was enough gossip here about how the part went to him after the original actor was sacked. Everyone knew why that was. The female co-star threatened to involve the police. It was a big picture. They’d paid a fortune for the rights to the book. And they needed a young, handsome English actor asap. It worked out well for Tolly.”
“That’s all she said to me, too.” Had Tolly made the same choice as Serena – profession over passion? It would imply he hadn’t been as smitten with Eleanor as Serena imagined and that is a most comforting thought, although Anna is unsure why. But she can’t help thinking it is the antithesis of his character.
“Then pretty soon, all Eleanor could talk about was Jacob. She hasn’t said, but I think they took up almost as soon as Tolly left.”
That was news to Anna. She knew she was the first person Eleanor told about Jacob, but that was weeks after Tolly had gone. “Really?”
“I mean, Jacob’s a hunk and all that, but him and Eleanor? I think she was heartbroken and he picked her up, made her feel good about herself.” This is not great news. There are only two possibilities. Either Eleanor had not cared too deeply about Tolly and had moved on straight away, or she had fallen for Jacob while vulnerable and at her lowest ebb. Anna would far rather it was the former. But here is Eleanor’s best friend, telling her it was the latter.
Serena takes a deep breath and draws herself upright. “Well, it all worked out for Tolly. Got the part, got the girl.”
“What do you mean, got the girl?” Alarm is trilling down every nerve ending.
“His co-star. I forget the name. Callie? Candy? Cassie? Something like that. Let’s just call her Cassie. They were dating.” Serena shrugs like it was common knowledge. Celebrity gossip not being one of Anna’s weaknesses, she is floored. “Yep, one of Hollywood’s golden couples.”
Sucking in a long slow breath, Anna lets it out in a quick, “Oh!” She tries to turn it into a question with a raised eyebrow.
“Well, until last month, that is. They hadn’t been seen together for a while and it emerged she’d been banging her personal trainer. Such a cliché, don’t you think? When asked about the reason for their split, she replied, ‘It turns out he wasn’t Mr Darcy.’ Although I’m not so sure how much her trainer is like Darcy either. I suspect she’ll be disappointed yet again.”
The relief is a tsunami, leaving Anna wordless.
Serena continues happily into the silence: “You would think an actress wouldn’t make the mistake of confusing a character with the actor. But word on the street is, he’ll have the last laugh.”
“Why?” Anna nibbles a piece of chorizo.
“He’s up to become the world’s most famous spy!”
“Nooo?” Anna’s eyes widen. Then sense returns and she wrinkles her nose. “Nah! That’s got to be one of those rumours. Every successful British actor gets named at some point.”
“No, seriously.” Serena leans across the couch as if she is confiding state secrets. And perhaps she is. “We’re doing the location for it. I promise you, this is mint.”
A thought crosses Anna’s mind. “Does that mean you know him?”
Serena laughs her deep throaty chuckle and in that instant Anna understands why Frankie has found it so hard to stay away from Anna’s amazing cousin.
“Oh, Anna!” Serena says when she can finally speak. “Tolly Hyde is not for the likes of me!”
“What do you mean?” Anna is genuinely perplexed. In the British class system, Tolly and Serena are about equal. True, Tolly’s family has more money, but Serena’s father is an ambassador and the son of an earl. At their old school, they rubbed shoulders with the children of rock stars, princes, fashion moguls. Why would Serena feel Tolly is in another league? Is she referring to something else? Race maybe? She has always thought Serena’s mixed heritage exotic and wonderful. She would hate to think others, Tolly included, would denigrate her because of it.
“I mean, he is a star. And I am a nobody.” Serena must see Anna’s confusion because she continues. “I’m a great location manager. Half my films wouldn’t get made or wouldn’t get made within budget if not for me. But value doesn’t matter in the Hollywood bubble. It’s about fame and recognition. I am not famous and I never will be hopefully. There are thousands of us in the movie business. Crucial to the industry but regarded as entirely disposable. The only ones who count are the stars. And a few directors and producers. It’s the way the industry is.
“So no. I don’t know Tolly Hyde. But keep quiet about what I said until they announce, eh?”
“Cross my heart. Hope to die.” Anna matches the actions to the words.
Serena giggles. “Sometimes I think you’ve never grown up.”
“Funny! I think the same about you.”
The two of them snigger together, like the girls and co-conspirators they once were. Then Serena says, “Now tell me about Jasmine.”
“Where to start?” Anna lifts her hands, palms to the heavens. “She’s only had two exes. She still hasn’t forgiven the world for the death of the first, and now she has to work for the other. The man who abandoned her in her darkest hour. Pretty awful for her.”
“Your sister is made of stern stuff. I might even have to pity the ex. I’m sure she’ll get vengeance. I think she’s the scariest of the lot of you.”
“Considering someone recently thought I was a psychopath, that’s saying something.”
Serena is horrified. “Who said that? They obviously don’t know you. You’re a pussycat.”
Anna puts her head on one side and looks at her cousin.
“Okay. A tiger, perhaps? Or a panther? Sleek and dark. Oh!” Serena’s eyes light up. “You’re Bagheera!”
“Tosh!” scoffs Anna, but inside she feels pleased. Mowgli’s grumpy mentor and guide. It’s not a bad fit.
It takes time to cover the antics of each of Anna’s sisters in turn and then for Serena to update Anna on her own family. There are also countless other cousins to discuss, as well as memories to be rediscovered. It is later than Anna expects when her cousin puts her arms around her and hugs her farewell. The visit, as proposed by Eleanor, was meant to help her cousin through her heartbreak. Hopefully, it has achieved something, given a message of family and support. But Anna, too, feels herself rebalanced and more at peace with the world.
She thinks about everything Serena has told her about Tolly and the Hollywood gossip grapevine. She could probably have gleaned it from the internet, but the true parts would have been buried under a ton of speculation and misinformation. Tolly broke Eleanor’s heart to come to Hollywood, then had his heart broken by his co-star girlfriend. Done publicly, nastily even. She can’t help feeling some sympathy for the poor man, even though she should hate him for her sister’s sake. There’s that karma again. As Anna climbs into her hotel bed, she cannot help thinking about Tolly and wondering where he is, whether he still hurts. A romantic like him will have felt the betrayal deeply. But he had not mentioned her when they talked. There was cautious happiness for his mother, expectant hope for his sister, and a satisfaction with his own life. Had he moved on from his broken relationship or was the pain too deep to bear mentioning?