Chapter 16
sixteen
A little while later, knocking sounded on the door of Micah’s apartment. “I’m back.” Wells’ voice floated through.
I stepped out of bed and threw my clothes on. “Just a minute.” I glanced at Micah. “Just stay there. I’ll bring you your food.”
He nodded, the covers still snug against his chin.
I stepped to the front door and opened it for Wells. Hunger gnawed at my stomach.
He strolled inside and placed the bag of takeout on the dinette. “How’s he doing?”
“Okay, just seems to be cold still.” I opened the bag. Thank God Wells was here. “Which one is Micah’s?”
“I got all the same thing, so just take one.” He left to rummage around in the drawers of Micah’s kitchen. “A-ha.” He lifted a few knives and forks from the drawer and stepped back to the dinette.
I grabbed a set of silverware, a napkin, and a food container and strode to Micah’s bedroom. After setting the food on the end of the bed, I stepped to him. “Here, let me help you.” My memory flashed with all the times I’d taken care of my brother after a bad night. But Micah was different. He wanted to change. I propped him up in bed with pillows.
“Thanks.” He tugged the covers further up.
Why was he still so cold? “Do you have any blankets?” I stood over him, twisting my lips.
“Yeah, in the closet.” He pointed to the mirrored doors.
I twisted, slid a door open, and pulled down two gray blankets folded on the top shelf. As I came back to him, I laid one blanket over his feet and legs, the other over his chest, then gave him his food, silverware, and a napkin. “Okay, good?”
He opened the container and peered inside. “Yes, very good. I’m starved.”
As I combed my fingers through my bangs, I smiled. “That’s a good sign.” I should talk to Wells, but I didn’t really want to leave Micah. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I looked him over. “I’ll go eat with Wells in the kitchen. You want the TV on or anything?”
“Sure. Just hand me the remote.” He cut a bite of crepe and stuffed it into his mouth.
I stood from the bed, grabbed the remote from the dresser, and handed it to him, then I bent over and pressed a gentle kiss on the top of his head. “Be right back.”
He nodded, chewing.
I made my way to the dinette. Wells had everything set up for us. I really didn’t know what I’d have done if he hadn’t been here. I dropped in next to him and cut into my crepe. As I chewed, I said, “Damn, I’m hungry.”
He swallowed his food down. “I hear ya.” In a soft voice, he said, “So, fill me in already.”
“Oh.” There’d been no time to get him alone to update him. I held a bite of crepe over my plate and smiled. “Turns out, Micah loves me.” As I focused on his face, I widened the smile. “Enough to see this through and stay together.”
He grinned and slapped my shoulder. “That’s awesome, man. I’m happy for you.”
“Yeah.” I thought about Micah’s studio comment. “I don’t know how much time I’m going to be spending in the studio this time around.” I studied Wells. “I know we practically live there normally, but I’ve got to be here if Micah needs me. He might have to go through some serious counseling.”
He chewed. “I wonder if we could get you some more equipment. So, you could do more work from here with rough mixes?”
“Maybe.” I stuffed a bite of crepe into my mouth, mulling the idea over. “I think a digital piano would be all I need.” Good thing we’d all had piano lessons as kids. It would pay off now.
“You’ll, of course, have to talk to the guys about all of this. They might not be as understanding as I am.” He touched my arm. “Will you be all right, giving up control like that?”
“I don’t know. It’ll definitely be an interesting conversation. I think the producer the label hired will keep Justin in line.” Justin always wanted to go down a heavier musical path. I released a long breath and scanned over Micah’s apartment. “Hey, when we’re done eating, will you help me clean this place up?”
He snickered. “Sure. Micah’s not a neat freak like you are, huh?”
I scoffed at him. “We’ll see. He says it’s just what he’s going through, that he’s not normally like this.”
“Okay,” he said, with a sarcastic tone.
* * *
After Micah’s therapy appointment, I walked down the path to our apartments, holding Micah’s hand in mine. I glanced at him. What should I say? I didn’t want to say the wrong thing. I looked above us at the fog swirling over our heads in the filtered afternoon light. “So, you’ve been pretty quiet on the drive home from your appointment.” I’d start there.
He hung his head and grimaced. “Can you stay with me at my place, or do you need to go work on music with Wells?” He stopped and turned to me, his eyes shimmering.
“I told you I’d be here for you and I will. If you need me right now, then I’ll stay with you.” I threw my arms around his shoulders and drew him to my chest. After kissing the side of his head, I freed him. “Come on.” I stepped to his door and waited for him to open it.
Micah stepped inside the apartment, to the couch, and sat down with a sigh, staring at his hands resting in his lap.
I dropped in beside him, draping an arm around his shoulders. “Do you want to talk, or are you talked out?”
“I don’t know. I think I’m numb.” His brown-eyed gaze drew to me. “I have homework to do. I have to journal and there’s a grief book with exercises and...” He let out a ragged exhale. “I really just want to take some Valium and go to sleep.” He twisted toward me on the couch, laying his head on my shoulder and bringing his legs up to his chest.
I hugged him tightly. “You’re not doing that anymore. In fact, Wells and I already got rid of it. That’s what we agreed to, remember?”
He nodded into my chest. “Yeah, I know. Doesn’t mean I don’t want it.”
Binging was a thing, right? “Do you think you were getting hooked on it?” I skimmed my hand down his cheek.
“Maybe.” He snuggled deeper into my chest. “Doesn’t matter now. I can’t have it, anyway.” Twisting his head, he peppered kiss after kiss on my neck, then drew my face to his and placed a passionate kiss on my lips, letting out a low moan. “Maybe I can have you instead.”
“I’m okay with that.” Heat flickered up my spine. I turned on the couch, matching the intensity of his kiss with my own, wrapping my arms around him and bringing us both down to lie on the couch with him on top.
He ground his hard cock into my hip through our board shorts, releasing a sharp gasp. “Fuck, I want you.” He gave me a solid, urgent kiss, his hips thrusting against me.
Pleasure jolted through my body. My breath grew ragged as I rocked my swollen dick against him, desperate for friction. “I want you.” Sensation rippled from my dick, teasing me. I slapped my hands to his ass, pressing our hips as close as I could. His body against mine, even with clothes on, was intoxicating.
He clung to me and panted against my neck, then dove a hand under my shirt and pinched at a nipple.
As pleasure-pain shuddered through my body, I gasped. My peak rocketed to the surface, and I battled to gain control.
He kneaded at the sensitive nub and thrust in an urgent rhythm against me, releasing soft moans.
My peak teased, teetering on the edge. “Micah, stop. I’m going to come.”
He halted his motions and gazed into my eyes with hooded lids. “We need lube and a condom.”
“We...what?” My cock twitched, tingling with sensitivity. “Shit, don’t move. Don’t move at all.” I bit my lip, doing my best to keep from spilling right then and there.
He waited and quirked one side of his mouth, then got off the couch and yanked me to standing, groping at me, and wrestling my t-shirt off. As he threw it to the ground, he pressed insistent kisses on my mouth while shoving me down the hallway to the bedroom.
I released sharp moans, fighting to keep up with his demanding hands and mouth.
Tossing me to the bed, he dropped his own shorts and boxer briefs, and clambered on top, sitting on my cock, and grinding over it.
“Oh, fuck.” As pleasure seared through me, I arched my back.
He flung his t-shirt off, then lifted from me to plunge my board shorts and boxer briefs down and off my legs. Hovering over my groin, he took my aching dick into his mouth, pumped a few times, and stopped.
I whimpered, struggling to keep from coming. This was the stuff of wet dreams.
Slipping a finger inside my lips, he slicked it, then glided it inside my hole. He lay down over me and licked at my neck, then placed a soft bite on my earlobe, dancing his tongue against my hoop earring. He hooked his finger to rub my internal bundle of nerves.
“Oh, my God.” I groaned and rocked my hips. “Wh-what are you doing?” Pre-cum beaded up at the tip of my cock.
“I want this to be the best you’ve ever had.” He kept on me, thrusting his fingers, grinding his dick on my thigh, placing needy kisses on my lips and neck. “Do you want me inside you?”
“Y-yes. God yes.” I clenched my teeth, holding in another near miss of climax.
He stopped and climbed over me to the nightstand, then reached inside and pulled out lube and a condom. After sitting up, he rolled the condom over his firm cock, slicked it, and squirted more lube on his fingers. He tossed the lube on the floor, along with the condom wrapper, then lay over me with his fingers back at my hole. He slid two fingers inside and stroked.
As pleasure shivered through me, I released a deep moan, then brought my legs up, exposing myself to him.
Micah dropped his hips between mine, nudging his dick at my entrance, and brought his free hand up to caress my forehead. Resting his dark gaze on mine, full of emotion, he said, “I love you, Ash.”
I gazed deeply into his eyes. God, I’m lost . “How I love you.”
As he pushed his hips forward, his firm cock entered me, agonizingly slowly.
The look of pleasure mixed with raw emotion on his face overwhelmed me. As my eyes stung, I held him close in an aching embrace. We’d been through so much and he was finally mine.
He placed sensual kisses on my neck, pulled his cock out, and pushed back in. He groaned against my skin, his body quivering.
With his dick sliding out and in, my need built to an urgent peak. I held him tightly, shivering with a hunger to submit to it all. In a shaking voice, I said, “Micah, make me come.”
He quickened his pace, snapping his hips. His head rose, and he claimed me with a deep kiss. Sneaking his hand between us, he stroked my firm cock.
I succumbed to intense pleasure, tumbling over the edge with complete surrender, my cum spilling, my body trembling, as each pulse of orgasm ravaged my body.
With a long moan, he pressed his cheek against mine. His teeth clenched and for a moment, he stilled, then thrust a few times more. As it slowed, he rested his head on my shoulder, panting.
I held my arms around him and kissed his cheek. I had never experienced sex that way, with someone I truly and completely loved. The emotion made it way more intense. In a soft voice, I said, “I’ll be your replacement for meds any time you want.”
Lifting his head, he smiled, a real, all-the-way radiant smile. He wiped his hand on my stomach and lifted it to brush over my cheek. “I might need a lot of that.”
“Good.” I tugged his head down to place a long, hard kiss on his lips.
* * *
I strolled to the glass patio doors in my apartment, a warm coffee cup resting in my hand, and looked over the billowing afternoon fog. My mind replayed the last few days, surfing in the morning with Micah, followed by music writing in the afternoon with Wells, and nice, quiet evenings cuddling to movies with Micah again, sometimes returning to Wells after Micah fell asleep, to work on music again.
In the music sessions with Wells, the lyrics and melodies poured out of me. It felt good, releasing all I’d gone through the past few weeks. I sipped my coffee and turned to gaze at Wells. “So Jeff should be here any minute.”
“Yep. I’ll get my stuff packed.” He took his bass with him and stood, then walked toward the bedroom.
A middle-aged man with brown, thinning hair, wearing a blue suit jacket and jeans stepped across the walkway to the apartment. Jeff…
As I made my way to open the door, I slid my cell phone from the pocket of my jeans and opened the text screen.
Ash
Jeff is here.
The phone chimed.
Micah
Be right over.
I opened the door.
Jeff stood with his hand in the air, as if getting ready to knock. “Oh. Hi, Ash.”
“Hey, Jeff. Come on in.” I stepped aside and let him into the apartment.
Micah’s door opened, and he came out, shut his door, then ambled across the walkway to me. As he reached me, he leaned in for a quick kiss. “Hey, lover.”
I smiled at him. It Seemed I’d never tire of looking at his stunning face or any part of him for that matter. “Hey, gorgeous.” I grabbed his hand and guided him inside.
Jeff stood in the center of the apartment, looking around him.
Leading Micah to Jeff, I said, “Jeff, this is Micah.” I gestured to Micah. “Micah, this is Jeff, our manager.”
Micah held out his hand. “Pleased to meet you.”
Jeff shook Micah’s hand. “Likewise.” He gave him a warm smile.
“Have a seat on the couch.” I motioned toward it.
Jeff sat in the center of the couch.
After striding to my dinette, I set my coffee cup down, grabbed two chairs and brought them to face Jeff, then I dropped into one of the dinette chairs, and Micah took a seat beside me.
Wells poked his dark head out of the hallway and waved. “Hey, Jeff.”
Jeff waved at Wells. “Hi, Wells.” He focused on me. “So, let’s get down to business, shall we?”
“Yes.” I liked this about Jeff, that he didn’t bother with small talk when something serious was going on. He rested his elbows on his knees, hands locked together.
“I’ve done some looking into this whole thing, and I have to ask, Micah. Did the family of your ex ask to have any of the investigation from the suicide sealed?”
He rocked once and clenched his jaw. “I don’t know. I don’t think there would be any reason for that.”
This was tough for Micah. I grabbed his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
Jeff said, “Okay. So according to county law in Santa Clara, which is where this happened...”
Micah nodded. “Yes.”
“The coroner’s office records are public, and anyone can ask for them. However, the family can request that the police seal any reports. Any photos taken at the scene are not public unless requested through a court order. As for you being the beneficiary of his assets, that information would not be public.” Jeff narrowed his eyes at Micah.
With a deep breath, Micah said, “Okay. So, what does that all mean?”
“Well, I think it means that for the media to find out what happened, someone would have to tell them first.” Jeff grimaced. “Suicide is not something the media likes to discuss because it can cause a copycat effect, where someone else might do the same thing.” He exhaled slowly. “It’s a pretty delicate situation.”
“So, do we have to worry about this or not?” I furrowed my brows. Could I have almost lost Micah over nothing?
Jeff cocked his head. “My best answer is, I don’t think so,” he said. “That doesn’t mean someone won’t let it slip, and the media might want to run a story, but it’s pretty unlikely. If they did, then it would most likely, in this case, focus on how survivors deal with suicide.” He turned to Micah. “So, we’d frame it with you being asked about how it affected you and how you dealt with it. We wouldn’t discuss the details.
Micah chewed the side of his lip and stared at the floor. “Okay. I think I can handle that.” He tightened his hold on my hand.
“Now, about the other thing.” Jeff smiled at me. “You two are very cute, holding hands.” He laughed and shook his head. “I think this could be a big story. You know, a two-good-looking-dudes-against-the-world kind of thing. The media would eat that up.” He took Micah in, head to toe. “I think photographers would fight to get a photoshoot with the two of you together.”
Warmth flushed my cheeks, and I gazed at Micah with a sly grin. Even Jeff saw how gorgeous Micah was. “What do you think?”
Micah gave me a shy smile. “I don’t know yet. Maybe we should take this slow.”
“Okay, so how about we start off with an interview at some point, where Ash can introduce you to the music fans as his special someone?” Jeff chuckled. “Then we can see where it gets picked up.”
“Yes, I think that would be all right.” Micah nodded and grinned. “When would something like that happen?”
“Oh, not for a while. We have an album to finish right now, then rehearsals and promotional material, like shooting videos. If this time is anything like the past, I think we have a few months,” Jeff said.
“Okay. That gives me time.” Micah gazed at me. “This will work.”
“Good.” Damn, Micah was getting stronger. I smiled at him and squeezed his hand. “One more thing, Jeff.”
“What is it?” Jeff leaned forward on the couch.
“Can you get me a digital piano? Then I can do some extra rough track work from here and maybe spend less time in the studio this time around,” I said.
Jeff glanced at Micah. “Sure, that shouldn’t be a problem.”
Micah studied me. “You play piano, too?”
With a shrug, I said, “Yeah, we all do. I’m not great at it, but I guess the lessons I had as a kid are paying off.”
Wells stepped in from the bedroom, suitcase in hand and the bass guitar case slung over his shoulder. “All packed.”
“Great. Let’s get going then.” Jeff stood and walked toward the door.
Wells gave me a wide smile. “See you tonight at the bonfire.”
“Did you get a hold of Anne and Linda?” I rose from my seat at the dinette, threading a hand through my bangs, letting it fall over one side of my head.
“Yes, in fact, I did. They are very excited to join us all tonight.”
As Micah stood, he frowned.
Wells’ attention shifted to Micah. “Anne knows Ash is off limits. Don’t fret, pretty one.”
Micah threw a glare at Wells. “Don’t call me that.”
“Yeah, whatever. Turns out, Anne is also interested in Justin.” Wells snickered and opened the door for himself and Jeff. “See you later.”
Jeff waved. “See you at the studio.”