Chapter Twenty-Two #2
“I want to.” Connor traced up Leyden’s arm to his shoulder, fascinated by the solid muscle beneath the fabric. “You’re in this with me. I want you to know this is real. Not an obligation on my part or duty. Actual want.”
“Connor.” Leyden’s voice dropped low. “You’re killing me.”
“Good killing or bad killing?”
“The best kind.” Leyden caught Connor’s hand, pressing a kiss to his palm. “Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.”
Connor stepped closer, chest nearly flush with Leyden’s. “What if I wanted to kiss you now?”
“Then I’d be the luckiest bastard alive.”
Connor rose on his toes, pressing his lips to Leyden’s. Soft and exploring, tasting coffee and mint. Leyden’s hands settled on Connor’s hips, gentle and grounding.
Connor pulled back after a moment, studying Leyden’s face.
“How was that?” Leyden asked.
“Nice.” Connor’s lips tingled. “Really nice. I definitely want to do more of that.”
“I’m extremely supportive of that plan.”
Connor grinned and stepped back, letting Leyden return to dinner prep. But he stayed close, hip pressed against the counter, watching his mate work.
Noticing. Wanting. Growing.
One small step at a time.
/~/~/~/~/
By evening, they settled in the living room. Leyden sprawled on the couch with a book. Connor took the armchair, laptop balanced on his knees while he finished the last of the security reports.
It was really difficult to concentrate. His gaze kept drifting to Leyden - the long line of his legs stretched out, one arm draped over the back of the couch, fingers absently drumming against the cushion. The stubble shadowing his jaw. The way his lips moved slightly as he read.
Connor wanted to touch him. Properly. Not just brief contact in passing, but real exploration.
The want was gentle. Curious. Not a desperate hunger but something quieter. Steadier.
Still real.
Connor closed his laptop and set it aside. “Leyden?”
His mate looked up immediately. “Yeah?”
“Can I...” Connor hesitated. “Can I touch you?”
Leyden’s book hit the coffee table. “Yes. Absolutely yes.”
Connor stood, nerves fluttering in his stomach, and crossed to the couch. Leyden shifted, making room, but Connor shook his head.
“Stay how you were.”
Leyden settled back, stretching out again. His hands rested on his thighs, completely open. Waiting.
Connor knelt beside the couch, eye level with Leyden’s chest. This close, he could see the pulse beating in Leyden’s throat, the rise and fall of his breathing.
“You okay?” Leyden’s voice came out rougher than usual.
“Yeah.” Connor placed his palm flat against Leyden’s chest, feeling the steady thump of his heart through the cotton shirt. “Just...let me?”
“Anything you want.”
Connor spread his fingers, pressing gently. Leyden’s chest was broad and solid, the muscle well-defined beneath Connor’s touch. Warm. Real.
Connor traced the line of Leyden’s collarbone through his shirt, fascinated by the structure of him. The way everything fit together, perfectly designed.
Down to Leyden’s bicep, squeezing experimentally. Rock-hard muscle flexed beneath Connor’s grip.
“Damn,” Connor murmured.
Leyden’s breathing hitched but he stayed still. Perfectly still. Letting Connor explore at his own pace.
Through the bond, Connor felt the arousal building in his mate…a slow burn that made Leyden’s skin heat and his pulse quicken. But Leyden didn’t move. Didn’t rush or push or demand.
Just waited.
Connor’s hand moved to Leyden’s shoulder, kneading the muscle there. Then down his chest again, tracing the ridges of his abs through the fabric. Leyden sucked in a breath when Connor’s fingers dipped lower, skimming just above his waistband.
Connor paused. “Too much?”
“Not even close.” Leyden’s voice had dropped to gravel. “You can touch me however you want, Connor. Wherever you want.”
Connor’s wolf approved. Mate trusts us. Mate lets us explore.
Connor shifted, moving to explore Leyden’s arms. The thick muscles bunched beneath Connor’s fingers as he traced from shoulder to elbow to wrist. Leyden’s hands were huge, much like Connor’s when he compared them palm to palm.
“You’re beautiful,” Connor said softly.
“Pretty sure that’s my line.”
Connor huffed. “Your eyes don’t work then.”
“My eyes work fine.” Leyden’s gaze tracked Connor’s face, dark and heated. “I’m watching the most gorgeous man I’ve ever known touching me.”
Connor flushed but didn’t stop. He moved behind the couch, hands settling on Leyden’s shoulders from above. Broad and powerful, the muscles dense beneath Connor’s exploring fingers.
Leyden leaned forward as Connor’s hands worked their way down his spine - fascinated by each vertebra, each ripple of muscle as Leyden breathed. The fabric of Leyden’s shirt bunched slightly under Connor’s palms, and Connor found himself wondering what Leyden’s skin felt like without barriers.
Not yet. But someday.
The thought didn’t scare him.
Connor returned to the front of the couch, hands settling on Leyden’s thighs. Thick muscle, powerful legs built for running and fighting and carrying his alpha’s strength.
Leyden’s hands fisted in the couch cushions. Through the bond, Connor felt the effort it took for Leyden to stay still - the desperate want warring with his determination to let Connor explore.
Connor had never felt safer.
He moved his hands back up to Leyden’s chest, feeling his heartbeat again. Faster now, matching the arousal and affection pouring through their bond.
“You’re being really patient,” Connor said.
“You’re worth being patient for.”
Connor met Leyden’s eyes. Nothing there but honest affection.
“Thank you,” Connor said. “For this. For letting me figure it out on my terms.”
“Connor.” Leyden reached up slowly, giving Connor time to pull away if he wanted. When Connor didn’t move, Leyden’s hand cupped his jaw. “You don’t need to thank me for basic decency.”
“It’s not basic to everyone.”
“Then everyone else is an idiot.” Leyden’s thumb stroked Connor’s cheekbone. “You’re the person I love most in this world. Of course I’m going to be patient. Of course I’m going to let you set the pace.”
Connor leaned into the touch, eyes falling closed for a moment. “I really do love you.”
“I know. I feel it.” Leyden’s other hand found Connor’s waist, tugging gently. “Come here.”
Connor let himself be pulled forward until he was half-sprawled across Leyden’s chest, their bodies aligned. Leyden’s arms came around him, secure but not confining.
Leyden pressed a kiss to Connor’s forehead. Soft. Reverent.
“You can touch me whenever you want,” Leyden murmured against Connor’s skin. “Anytime. Anywhere. However feels right to you.”
Connor burrowed closer, breathing in Leyden’s scent. “Even if it takes months before I want more?”
“Even if it takes years.”
“Even if I never want penetrative sex?”
Leyden’s arms tightened fractionally. “Even then. You’re enough, Connor. Exactly as you are.”