Chapter 24 – Riley Thomas
Riley Thomas
"M ommy you tired?" Cove asks, tilting her head to study my face.
"No, I'm good cutie," I assure her.
"You can take a nap," Cove says, climbing into my lap. "Kiki will color with me."
"I would," Killian agrees, he's sitting on the couch staring at the fire. He looks at Cove. "Why don't you color for a minute and let me cuddle mommy. Then I'll color to your hearts content."
"I could be persuaded to partake in a puppet show," Finn says, pushing himself up off the floor. He drops his tablet and prowls over to Cove.
Cove squeals and claps, wrapping her arms around his neck. Finn scoops her up and winks at me. He heads off to the curtained theater across the room.
"Come on," Killian says, patting his chest.
"I'm good," I whisper.
"You're lying," Killian grumbles.
I climb off the floor and settle on his lap. I lean into his strong chest and he bands an arm around my back. His long wavy brown hair is down today and it makes him look like a wild man. His huge hand cups the back of my head.
"Did Jasper do something to upset you?" Killian asks.
"No," I whisper. "No way."
He nods, pulling my head to his purring chest. "Good, he's growing on me. Would've been a shame if I had to kill him."
I laugh against Killian's neck. He's anxious, but purring. It's a crazy combination. He's trying to calm me, but my anxiety is bleeding into him.
"Is your mom able to soothe her alphas?" I ask, nuzzling my cheek against his.
Killian shrugs. "Yeah, I guess so. She used to soothe me when I was a kid."
I nod. My chest aches with the urge to soothe Killian's stress. I've never been one of those omegas who could figure it out. A strange warmth slides through my entire body and I blow out a warm breath against Killian's neck.
"Oh, sweetness," he growls, tipping my chin up so I meet his eyes. " You're comforting me ? Something has got you on edge. It's sending my instincts through the roof."
"I'm okay," I say, weakly snuggling my face into his throat.
Kills runs a hand over the back of my head, he's still vibrating with a purr.
"I know you like your independence. More than that, it's important to you," he says. "I'm trying not to be a pushy bastard. If that's hard to believe, know that I had to talk myself out of taking Jasper's head off when you walked in smelling like stress."
"Jasper did nothing wrong," I assure him, brushing my hand over the muscles of his strong chest. "If anything, he protected me. Got me right out of a bad situation."
"Was the situation caused by him?"
"No," I say, honesty and conviction ring in my voice.
"Okay, good," Killian says, running his hand over my back. "I know we're not there yet, but sweetheart it doesn't change a thing. You very much feel like mine. Which means my urge to care for you is nearly uncontrollable. Does that bother you? I worry I'm turning into a pushy fuck."
"Bother me?" I scoff. "I love it. I've never had anyone to look out for me. Not for years—not since my brother got the spot in Ruin and dipped out."
"He just left you behind with your mom and uncle?" Killian asks, then shakes his head. "Sorry, I don't mean to pry."
"No, it's okay. He did," I tell him. "Bryan had it a lot worse than me.
My uncle is a disgusting human being and for whatever reason, he got off on torturing Bryan.
He mostly ignored me. My mom too. She had the occasional creepy boyfriend or customer…
" I shake my head. God, this is embarrassing to admit .
"Some guys will pay a lot of money to fuck an omega. "
"Jesus fucking Christ," Killian growls, tilting my head up to meet his. "She never…"
"No," I say, staring into his eyes. "Not anything like that.
She sold herself. Thank God she never got that desperate.
Also, I was really young then. Like pre-teen.
I hadn't presented yet. By the time I was older, my brother was sending her mad cash because his band was very popular.
My mom spent it all on drugs, but that was fine.
Mostly, I just wanted to be left alone."
Killian nods. "And your brother died?"
"He hung himself," I whisper, nuzzling back into Killian's neck.
"Riley…" Killian exhales heavily.
"It's okay," I say. "Really. I know everything you'll say and I believe it."
"I was going to say your brother was a selfish fuck," Killian growls, his hands digging into my flesh.
I actually laugh at that. I nod. "Thank you. Everyone says they're sorry for my loss and yeah, I appreciate that. But what I really wished was that Bryan got his shit together."
My heart aches as I recall the memories. I was simultaneously naive and helpless to actually change a thing. My mind convinced me that he'd be back for me. I'd make up elaborate stories of how life would be once he showed up.
I sigh and finally go on. "I'd daydream that Bryan was going to wake up and realize he left me stranded with the two people he hated most in the world. I'd imagine he'd show up to get me out."
"He was sick?"
"Yeah, I don't think he ever got over what my uncle did to him."
"Fuck, it's hard to judge someone when they're gone. Especially when he was so bad off he ended it all, but sweetheart you mean the world to me. Probably, I'm biased because… yeah," Killian says. I nod into his neck. "But I can't believe he ignored the risk that shit might happen to you too."
Killian is something else. Holy shit.
What's the one thing no one else has done? See my side of things. Yeah, I lost my brother who I loved fucking dearly.
But by the end? I also resented the hell out of him. It's an ugly admission to make, even to myself, but it's the truth.
Killian gets it though and once again, he's on my side. It's a little crazy how much that makes me want him.
Bryan was mentally ill. Especially by the end. No doubt about it. The drugs absolutely didn't help, but Jamen Jacobs personally sent him to rehab on two separate occasions. He also told me he told Bryan to call him anytime, anywhere, no questions asked.
Bryan was committed to what he did. He made that choice and while I've gone through a spectrum of emotions from guilt to rage and even bargaining… nothing will change it. I've accepted it, but I'm still hurt and angry.
My heart pounds violently as I clutch at Killian. He feels so solid and steady under my palms, it's easy to believe that he's always going to be on my side no matter what.
Uh oh . I fucked up for real and caught serious feelings for the gentle giant of a man under me.
"Thank you," I whisper, pushing my mouth to his. Killian grips my hips, holding on tight.
He nods into the kiss, sweetening it as he cups my face. I pull back, and he keeps me in place, pressing his forehead against mine for a moment before releasing me. When I open my eyes, he's looking down at me with a look of soft affection.
Holy fuck. He's so damn dangerous to my heart and I think that's okay too. Because ultimately, I truly believe I can trust him with it.
* * *
Jasper is leaning against the kitchen counter, shirtless when I stumble in with Lily fussing against my chest. It's the middle of the night and she's been whiney on and off all day.
"Uh oh," he says, setting down his beer and stepping over to greet me. "Here let me hold her while you make her a bottle." He brushes my hair away from my face and scoops her out of my arms.
"Thanks," I mumble around a yawn, heading over to mix her a bottle. I get started and look back to Jasper.
"You're just super pissed at the world right now, aren't you Lils?" Jasper coos, rocking her against his shoulder.
He's incredibly defined. His muscles flex and move as he shimmies and rocks trying to find the movement to settle her down. I bite my lip as I set the bottle in the warmer. It's adorable watching him interact with Lily.
"You look tired," Jasper says, frowning at me.
"I am," I reply with a nod. "Life was much easier with one kid, you sleep when they sleep. It's totally different now. I've got to be up all day with Cove and Lily is on a completely different schedule."
"You're not alone," Jasper says, patting Lily's bottom.
She's lifting her head more these days and she's quite alert at the moment.
"You don't have to be so damn independent.
Listen, I get you need to handle your own shit, but Riley you're still really young.
You've got so much on your plate. I don't want to see you get burnt out. "
I bite at my fingernail and give him a nod. "I know," I say in agreement.
"My mom said this time is the hardest," Jasper says, gently shoving my hand away from my mouth.
"And she had all my dads and a nanny to help.
Don't run yourself ragged. You have people not only willing to help, but wanting to.
This hyper-independent shit is ridiculous.
It's self-sacrificing and there's no point to it. "
"Yeah," I say, rolling my eyes. "You've got so much room to talk. You have no idea what it's like."
"I don't," Jasper agrees easily. "But I want to. Tell me what it's like. Why are you so afraid to accept help?"
I sigh, stretching back against the counter.
"My mom is a junky. She never did anything for me or my brother.
She left us with her brother a lot. He's a shit human being and she knew it.
I promised myself I'd always be present with them.
I know none of you guys are like that, but it's hard. Even their dad barely tolerated them."
"You know you love them and you'll treat them right," Jasper says, grabbing the bottle from the warmer and testing it. "Is this good?" He frowns down at his wrist. "Barely tepid?"
I test it and laugh.
"It's good," I say, moving to grab Lily. Jasper grins and snatches the bottle away from me, popping it into Lily's mouth.
"Sit with me," he says, nodding to the table. "My mom said this time is special, they grow up fast." He mimics a woman's voice. "The next thing you know they're teenagers who talk back and think you know nothing."