Chapter 13 Pressure #2
“But what if mi want fi know the place?” I snap back, feeling mi blood pressure rise. Him really a work mi nerves now.
“Place is gated, yeah,” he says, “but everybody know you a mi woman. And mi have enemies, even some weh work wid the big shots inna the so-called safe community. So why yuh wah out pon the road without protection?”
I roll my eyes. Mi cyaa bother enuh. “All mi wah do is run… that’s it,” I sigh, rubbing my forehead.
Hard ears gyal, listen nuh.
“Mi nuh wah you outta reach or anywhere Joe cya see you, yuh zimi… So no.”
I exhale sharply. Lizzie gently touches my arm.
“Mi nah go cuss man,” I say to her with a small smile. You want to, Zara… but yuh fi listen.
“The yard space nuh enough fi yuh exercise?” Nickoi asks.
I don’t answer. His tone sharpens. “The yard space nuh enough fi yuh exercise?” he repeats, more serious now.
Answer enuh.
“No… I wanted to run, me and Lizzie. But you clearly have a problem, so mi a go just stay home,” I mutter, lips tight.
He’s quiet for a second. Then: “You wah mi bring you to the gym?”
I mumble under my breath, not even sure what I just said. “No,” I answer after a few seconds, petty and stubborn, and not even trying to hide it.
“You wah mi buy a next house weh have gym?” Nickoi asks, dead serious. “In Jacks Hill or suh’m?”
I sigh. “It’s okay,” I say, turning back toward the house. “Mi a go just stay inna Joe reach or whatever.” I hang up just as he’s saying something, then hand Joe back the phone.
Zara… yuh really just hang up the phone pan him enuh.
I hiss under my breath, but quickly plaster a smile across my face, masking the heat bubbling in my chest.
“Lizzie, yuh think we can run ‘round the house a couple times?” I ask, trying to salvage what’s left of my mood.
She nods, already ready. “Definitely. The house big enough.”
We beg Joe to start us off. He hesitates probably wondering if it even make sense but eventually gives us the go-ahead. Soon, we’re jogging laps around the yard. Not even halfway through and I’m already panting, but it feels good. Freeing. Like I’m reclaiming space I didn’t even know I gave up.
By the time we’re done, we’re both out of breath. I drop to the ground, legs stretched out in front of me. Lizzie takes the lounger, catching herself.
“I’m gonna get you something to drink,” she says, already pushing to her feet.
I grab her hand gently. “We’ll get it together, Liz,” I say with a smile.
She nods, a quiet warmth in her eyes. Just as we’re ready to head inside, my phone rings. “Hello?” I answer, then gasp when I hear Anna’s voice on the other end.
My heart starts pounding this definitely have something fi do with Sash.
“Zara, yuh know the girl weh name Sash?” Anna asks, and I notice Lizzie looking away, uncomfortable.
“Yeah… a mi cousin,” I say slowly, trying to steady my voice.
“Mi a go through Gutta phone and mi see seh she send nudes to him,” Anna spits, her anger sharp. “Mi mad fi send it off, but ‘cause mi know mi see you wid har before, mi a seh no.”
She have every right fi be mad. A deep sigh slips past my lips.
“Mi affi talk to har,” I say quietly, “but weh Gutta deh?”
“Him try stay weh him deh, enuh ‘cause mi swear mi a go kill him!” Anna yells, her voice breaking. Father God, please.
Sash gone mash up dem life fi real. Yuh see dah gyal deh!
“Mi understand say you angry, but please don’t do nothing inna yuh anger,” I tell her, trying to calm her.
“Zara, a true yuh nuh understand. All dem texts a grief me… God know mi anger a boil,” she says, and I believe every word.
I sigh heavy, heart sinking. Watch mi and Sash!
“I’m sorry about it, hun… mi a go try talk to har, ‘cause mi cyaa believe har,” I mutter through gritted teeth before I end the call.
My hand trembles as I dial. That’s how angry I am.
“Yeah, Zara?” Sash answers, her voice way too calm.
Don’t call mi name, man. “Sash, wah mek yuh disgusting so!? Eh? Mi never yet cuss yuh, but mi swear, yuh gon’ hate mi today.
Yuh gone cause drama between Anna and Gutta, and yuh have a whole man already!
Yuh nuh have Marko?! So why yuh gone inna the girl relationship fi mash it up?
!” I snap. The words fly from my mouth like bullets.
No filter. No breath. No pause. She doesn’t even get a chance to defend herself.
“Zara, him tell mi seh dem lef! So how dah gyal deh a call yuh bout me?!” she shouts back, voice rising, cracking at the edge. She sounds guilty.
“Gutta woulda neva seh dat! Him and Anna serious real serious. And from my birthday, yuh been watching him, like yuh just waiting fi a moment. Knowing damn well seh him have him woman… now yuh gone mash it up!” I feel Lizzie touch my arm gently.
Calm down, Zara… remember the baby, my subconscious whispers. But mi nuh care right now.
“Zara, so a pick yuh really a pick up fi stranger ova mi?” she hisses. “We a family! A me yuh know all yuh life! Now yuh switch pan me, and yuh not even a gimme a chance fi talk mi side?” I laugh. A bitter one.
“Look yah, miss, that’s not the damn point.
Mi nuh deh pon nobody side. Mi a call it like it is.
Yuh been a look pan the man long time, and now yuh a mash up dem relationship.
Fi wah? Some money? A little clout? Yuh nuh have Marko?
Why yuh so damn greedy? A the same way yuh woulda try tek my man too under quiet.
Actin’ like yuh pure, but all the while a slither like snake.
Cause when yuh find time fi look Gutta? A Swear yuh dangerous. ”
A long, shaky pause follows. “M-mi never wah yuh man, Zara. Mi just… mi happy fi yuh,” she shouts, her voice breaking. Really?
“Happy fi mi? Or bitter? Or just jealous so yuh couldn’t help yuhself? So yuh settle fi somebody close to him. That’s how deep it go?”
Silence on the other end. Then she breaks. “No, Zara! No, mi and Gutta been a talk fi a whi—”
Click. I hang up. Mi tired a har.
My chest tight. My head hot. My hands shaking.
She calls back once. Then again. I block her number, then block her on WhatsApp.
Then Instagram. Mi cyaah have somebody like this around me.
Somebody who pree from close range. First, she a spy pan Anna and Gutta, now she go after the man, knowing damn well how weak man can be to woman.
Now a strong, solid relationship crumbling.
I sit back on the lounger and inhale deep, trying to calm my nerves but mi mind is spiralling. Mi cyaah tek snakes… And that? That was a snake move fi sure.
Sash di snake, my subconscious screams, over and over.
My phone buzzes. A message from Suzanne: ‘Results out now’.
I exhale, rubbing my belly instinctively. Then—
“Zara.”
Shit. Just the way he says my name slowly, freezes every nerve in my body. I look up, and he’s standing in the doorway.
Nickoi. No expression on his face. No anger in his voice. Just a dangerous kind of stillness. His eyes? Dark and unreadable, fixed on me. My chest tightens. No. no. no… mi cyaah do this right now. I press my palms to my face, but I still feel him watching me.
This past stress sis be safe though, my subconscious teased just in time.