Chapter 27
twenty-seven
Matias
The apartment is so dark I hesitate to knock.
My hand hangs high, fingers curled against the door, watching the darkened window for movement.
It’s late now, well past midnight. But at some point during the drive home, I skipped the highway ramp leading towards my house and kept driving.
And now, standing on Natalia’s doorstep, I can’t quite bring myself to wake her.
What am I going to tell her? What good reason is there for waking her, other than I’m an obsessive creep who needs to constantly have eyes on her?
I almost turn on one foot and head back to the car when I hear it.
The quiet strains of music coming from her TV, something like a guitar plucking so quietly I almost miss it.
It only takes her a moment to answer when I knock. The sound of the lock turning sounds loud at this hour, but Natalia doesn’t look bleary when the door swings open.
She blinks at the sight of me, shaking her head like she’s trying to make sure she’s not imagining things.
“Is it too late to come in?”
“N—no. Come inside.” Natalia steps aside and lets me in, tugging on the loose t-shirt draped around her shoulders sheepishly. Her small apartment is pitch black save for the light washing over the couch from the TV, an old telenovela playing as I take off my jacket and make myself comfortable.
“Sorry.” She says, reaching for the remote. “We can watch something else.”
I reach across the coffee table and still her hand.
“Don’t bother. I didn’t come here to watch TV, Florecita.
” I watch the old show in front of us, jerking my chin at the screen.
“This is the one you used to watch with your mom, right?” The damn telenovela has to be at least twenty years old now, but I remember catching her watching in her bedroom, back in the day.
When she thought no one was paying attention to her and she needed something that gave her comfort.
“Yes.” She wrinkles her nose. “You remember that?”
I almost laugh. I don’t think there’s anything I don’t remember, when it comes to her. “I remember everything you tell me.” And even the things you don’t.
“Santos mentioned you left in a hurry today. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
“Oh. Yeah, I’m fine.” She picks at her nails, avoiding my gaze, but I don’t need her to look at me to know. Something’s missing from her mischievous gaze. Like a fire that’s been kicked out to smolder.
“That’s why you’re watching your comfort show in the middle of the night?”
She glances at me from the corner of her eye.
“What happened?” I ask, because I want to find out from her, and not from the men I have posted in the area.
“Sylvia stopped by.” Natalia admits slowly. “She knows.”
Aw, shit. I lean across the sofa, sitting next to her, searching for her hand under the pile of blankets and giving her a squeeze.
These past couple of weeks, I’ve had fun teasing her.
Watching heat shimmer in her eyes, loving the way she blushes all the way to her roots when I try to talk her into my arms.
This moment between us now has none of that.
I draw her close, something in my chest twisting when Natalia sinks into the crook on my neck with an exhausted sigh. I still, not daring to breathe as she curls up against my chest like a cat. I can’t remember the last time I felt her weight like this on my chest.
“That bad?”
“She had a lot to say.” Hm. I’ve gotten wrapped up in the middle of their arguments a couple of times. And as much as I love Natalia, I’m hard-pressed to see why she tolerates so much of her sister’s bullshit.
“I never liked her. She always had a way to drain the life out of you.”
Natalia almost smiles. “Funny. Sylvia said the same thing about you.”
“You know you shouldn’t pay much mind to her.” I tell her gently, stroking her hair. “She’s your sister, not your keeper.”
“I know.” She answers, her voice subdued as she glances up at me, and suddenly, I can tell exactly what they talked about. I know exactly what she’s thinking in that pretty little head of hers.
Sylvia thinks I’m the devil in the flesh. Natalia doesn’t.
She’s probably one of the only people on the planet that just sees me…as me. No fear. No ulterior motive. She sees me, and somehow, she thinks I’m worth defending. Even after everything that happened. Even after I broke her heart the way I did, she’s still considering something more.
With me.
My arms tighten around her shoulders, squeezing her warm, soft weight like I want to put her right in my heart.
Natalia is a good woman. She doesn’t deserve this, to be up in the middle of the night, agonized about being pulled in two different directions.
The goal at the beginning of all of this was simple.
Use her to find the leak. Unsurprisingly, she’s done everything but what we intended for her to do.
Because I lose all focus when it comes to her.
I always have.
“Things won’t be this way forever.” I speak into her hair quietly, smoothing a hand down the tousled locks.
“What does that mean?” She breathes against my neck, like she’s scared of the answer.
“It means I’m making some changes.” Natalia angles her head to look up at me, the curve of her nose so close I drop a kiss on her face. “It means…maybe I’ll have a chance to walk away and start over. No strings. No hiding.” I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “No fear.”
She blinks, her face so soft and curious it almost hurts to look at her. “Does this have anything to do with what Santos said? About some ridiculous sale that’s going to get you killed?”
“What did Santos say to you?”
Natalia rolls her eyes. “He’s worried about you. And I am, too. If you’re doing a sale as big as he says you are, you shouldn’t be rushing into this with everything happening right now. It’s dangerous. We still don’t know who’s behind all of this.”
She’s cute like this, when she’s all fired up and ready to go to bat for me.
“Santos talked to me too, you know. He said you caught Westfall in a suspicious conversation.” I scrub a hand across my face. “I cut him.”
Natalia freezes in my arms. “Like…you killed him?”
I almost laugh. “I cut him from the sale, Natalia. He’ll be kept in the dark until it’s over. I wouldn’t kill him without concrete evidence. What kind of monster do you think I am…” She hums and shakes her head.
“I still don’t like the idea of you going through with this. Can’t you wait?”
“It’s just a sale, Florecita. I’ve done hundreds of them.
It won’t be the end of the world, don’t let Santos spook you.
Hell, he was the one busting my balls to sell a few weeks ago.
The accident’s shaken him. That’s all, hm?
” I put on my best placating tone, but Natalia smells right through my bullshit, leaning away from me and wrinkling her nose.
“No. I know Santos, and he’s insane. If he’s scared…there’s something you’re not telling me, right?” She cocks her head. “Be honest with me, Matias. What’s going on?”
I bite my lip, silently deliberating how much I should say. How much is safe for her to know. Who am I kidding, though? Just me being here with her in my arms is putting her in danger. If I had any self-control, I would’ve sent her away when she came calling.
“Reynaldo had a…benefactor. Maybe he was his boss, I don’t know.
All I know is that that man called the shots.
When Reynaldo got busted for human trafficking, they panicked.
Gathered all the goods, I mean, shit I’d never even heard of—and threw it all in this big shipment to sell off.
Quickly.” I swallow thickly, remembering that night like it was yesterday.
“That night, I heard Reynaldo on the phone, talking about a hard drive. He called it his leverage—protection, in case he went to prison. Because it was easier for his boss to send sicarios after him than try to get him out. It ensured that his boss didn’t give up on him—that he kept trying to get him out. I stole the hard drive.”
Natalia blinks. “Why would you?—”
“I needed that leverage. Whoever was pulling the strings wasn’t just going to stop because Reynaldo was in prison, and I knew it’d only be a matter of time until they came after Sylvia, and then you.
So I stole their shit, and I made it clear, that if something happened to you, I’d throw it all into the bottom of the ocean.
” Those days were blurry. I wasn’t the only sad son-of-a-bitch that had the same idea.
I was just the one with the most to lose.
“You…did that for me?” She gives me a wide-eyed look that makes me nervous.
I shrug. “I tried to keep Sylvia out of it, too. But then she went into witness protection and you two got separated, and you know the rest.” She bites her lip, and I’m almost scared to look at her.
It isn’t easy to admit almost everything I’ve been doing for the past few years always seems to come back to her.
“Santos and I have been sitting on that shipment for years. I’ve been hoping that somewhere along the way, its owner would slip up. I have to find them before they find me, Natalia. And time is running out. Santos’ accident is proof of that.”
“I thought it was the rat on your side?”
I give her a look. “It’s all the same. For all we know, the fucking rat is working for them. It’s the only thing that makes sense, at this point. I don’t know.” Natalia presses her lips together, watching me as I lean back on the worn couch and let out a deep, bone-deep sigh. I’m so fucking tired.
And that realization isn’t just coming from my aching shoulders.
Natalia, perceptive as always, places her hand in the center of my chest. The weight steadies me, helps me breathe a little bit better when she strokes soothing motions down my chest and kisses a random spot on the column of my throat.
“I think I’m ready to sleep now.” She says quietly, turning off the long-forgotten show on TV. We sit in darkness for a still moment, the blue-white light of the moon slanting into the small apartment. “Come to bed with me.” Natalia blurts, turning in my arms and giving me an imploring look.
I should say no. There’s always so many other things to do. And with this sale, I really can’t take any chances. Because this isn’t a sale, not really. It’s a game I can’t afford to lose. I sigh and scrub a hand over my face. Look down at the woman in front of me.
“Please?” She whispers, like she’s scared to go to bed alone.
Reality doesn’t stand a chance when it comes to her.