Chapter 30
CHAPTER 30
ABIGAIL
I remembered the day we’d gotten the call about Brooks like it was yesterday. Simon and I had gone to the movies and we’d been walking around after, hand in hand and arguing about which would win in a fight between an elephant and a rhinoceros. Elephant, obviously.
His phone had rung and he’d never been the same again. Brooks died that night, but Simon? The person he had been had died right along with him.
Learning that his brother had been in a drunk-driving accident—and that he had been the drunk driver—had shattered him. Torn him apart.
We’d learned later that Brooks had partied a little too hard going into his senior year and he’d decided to drive himself home. Nearly made it, too. He’d hit a tree only a few miles away. Not that it’d mattered in the end.
When Simon had gotten that call, his timeline had split into before and after. For the rest of his life, there would be what had happened before that day, when he’d had his twin by his side and their futures had been all rose colored, and then there was what had come after.
While I definitely hadn’t been old enough or experienced enough to understand the extent of that at the time, I was sure starting to get it now. At the time, it’d been all about Simon and his grief. Now, I was realizing that the implications were much further reaching than just that.
Brooks had been the brother who’d had everything going for him. He’d been smart, popular, super rich, and insanely good at football.
Simon had been all those things too, but Brooks had been the bright and shiny, extrovert twin while Simon had always been more closed off. He’d had his three best friends and me, and that had been his circle. He’d been happy with things that way.
Brooks had been the force of nature, the life of the party. He’d been his grandfather’s namesake and the family’s golden trophy.
While no one had ever said it out loud, he’d for sure been their dad’s favorite. He’d also been Simon’s best friend. Watching Simon go through that and mourn him had been the most difficult—well, second most difficult—thing I’d ever been through. Countless nights I’d held him when he’d lost it, pulling him closer when he’d tried to push me away.
My eyes watered just thinking about it and I reached for his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze and knowing instinctively that someone needed to acknowledge his loss. That someone had almost always been me.
“You did lose him, Simon. I will never forget that. I will always remember that your life was completely your own until that day. I will also always remember how much he meant to you and how lost you felt without him. I won’t ever forget.”
He stared deep into my eyes, searching and obviously finding whatever he’d been looking for. “You really won’t forget, will you?”
I shook my head. “I could never forget anything about you, and Brooks was a big part of you. I know that.”
For a moment, I wasn’t sure whether he was going to kiss me or collapse into my arms, but he did neither. Simply clearing his throat, he nodded toward the counter where I’d put my laptop down. “Anyway, we should probably get to work on the booth now. We do have a presentation to make tomorrow and we need to make sure it’s awesome.”
I blinked my tears away, helping him take out plates for the pizza. When it arrived, we got down to business in the living room. We ate while working on our booth design. The heaviness that had been over us at the bar disappeared as we planned all the marketing materials we would need.
We ended up having fun with it, finishing our pizza while arguing about whether we needed bat-turd key chains. Simon shook his head at me, his face completely serious but his eyes twinkling with laughter. “We have to have them, Abi. What sets a booth apart like being the place where you can pick up a bat-turd key chain? For free.”
I laughed. “You need to let the bat-turd thing go, dude. It’s not going to happen.”
“Kill joy,” he teased. Sighing, he pointed at the mock-up drawing of key chains shaped like Fit Gal drinks. “Just so you know, these are ultra boring. Mega boring. People would line up for the bat turds, but we’ll be coming back home with a few of these.”
Chuckling, I put in a request for a quote on the drinks-shaped key chains and then shut my laptop. “Done. I’ll let you know what they come back with.”
He nodded, the humor draining out of his eyes when he took a pointed look at my computer. “Does that mean you’re leaving?”
“Yeah, I should probably get going. It’s getting late and we have to be at HQ super early in the morning. We can’t get so wrapped up in planning the presentation tonight that we yawn our way through the actual thing tomorrow.”
Simon leaned back against the couch, turning to face me with his gaze locked firmly on my own. “You don’t have to leave if you don’t want to.”
“Oh, but I do have to,” I argued more playfully than I’d intended. As I looked back at him though, I felt myself getting drawn back in and I let it happen, really not wanting to leave, but knowing it would probably be for the best. “Not in the least of which because I didn’t pack any clothes and I can hardly show up there wearing what I’ve been wearing all day today.”
“I’ll make sure you’re up early enough to go home and change before work.” He crossed his heart, leaning closer and bringing his hand up to catch my cheek. “So what do you say? Are you staying?”
What I should’ve said was no. I knew that and yet I didn’t want to. I wanted to stay and I rarely—if ever—just did what I wanted.
I closed the distance between us and he met me halfway, our lips crashing together as if they’d never have another chance to do it. His arms slid around my hips, pulling me closer, and I melted into him, looping my arms around his neck as I kissed him back.
Just a few days ago, I’d thought I was done with him for good and it’d hurt like hell. While I still didn’t trust him fully, deep down, I knew I had never really been ready to let him go. It wasn’t only about our shared past or my lack of closure, either.
The boy I’d loved had become a complex man. He had a bunch of trauma in his past, a difficult home life, and a family’s legacy resting on his shoulders. All of which was to say that I wasn’t kissing him back right then because I had loved him as a teenager.
This had nothing to do with the kids we used to be. By coming out and telling the truth about what his father had done, apologizing, and explaining everything about the pitch and what had happened back then, he’d earned my respect.
It couldn’t have been easy on him, not only owning up to what both he and his father had done, but doing so without knowing whether I would go to Fit Gal or get our attorneys involved. Not only that, but he was the type who took charge and saw things through. Qualities I found insanely attractive in a man.
As I kissed him, he drew me into his lap and I went willingly, sliding my legs on either side of his hips and whimpering when I felt him hard underneath me. I screwed my eyes shut tighter, feeling a furrow forming between my brows.
Heat pooled between my legs, my breathing suddenly labored as my lungs forgot how to work. I didn’t want to want him this badly, but I did—even more so now than I had before. Because not only did he have those qualities I liked so much and not only had he earned my respect, but because I felt irrevocably connected to him.
It was a connection we’d forged as kids, sure, but it’d grown into so much more than it’d been back then. Every minute we spent together, I felt it strengthening and morphing into something so much more powerful than I’d ever felt before.
Despite everything he’d done to me, I felt safe with him. Safe enough to really let myself get immersed in this moment, to be with him without letting my inhibitions—of which I had many—get in my way.
This would definitely be a first for me, but I caught his face in my hands and broke the kiss, panting as I looked deep into his eyes. “Take me to bed, Simon.”
Surprise flickered on his face, but he didn’t ask me if I was sure. Instead, he wrapped his hands under my ass and stood up without hesitating at all.
Eyes smoldering as he stared into mine, he carried me down a long hallway and into his bedroom, laying me down gently on his mattress before he climbed onto it with me. I wrapped my legs around him as he covered my body with his own, his lips back on mine and a low groan rumbling through his chest.
Need coursed through me like a living, breathing being and I reached for his shirt, tugging it out of his waistband and pushing my hands underneath it. I ran my fingertips over the strong muscle in his back, moaning when I felt him tense under my touch.
“Fuck, Abi,” he groaned between passionate kisses. “Do you have any idea what it does to me to hear you make noises like that?”
I smiled against his lips. “Why don’t you show me?”
My nipples were hard as diamonds already, and as he ran a hand up my side and closed his fingers over my ribs, I moaned again, arching my back to push my chest tighter against his.
Another low, sexy noise tore out of him. “Do you really mean that? You want me to show you?”
“I do.”
Simon sucked in a breath as his hips started rocking into mine. Then he cupped my breast in his large palm and kissed me again, harder this time, his lips so ravenous that it made my thoughts vanish.
With a pinch to my nipple, he groaned when I bucked underneath him. “Shit, Abi.”
I tightened my grip on his back, my body trembling all over. “I know. I don’t think I’ve ever needed anyone as badly as I need you right now.”
His free hand pushed between us as if he was following an unspoken command, his fingers sliding into my panties without a second thought. “Stop me if you don’t want this.”
My breaths were coming in pants and my muscles tightened as his knuckles brushed against my overheated core. It was probably silly, but I was already so close to the edge that I felt like I was one stroke away.
He dipped his finger into my wet heat and it felt so good that I nearly started crying. Relief spiraled through me and I bit back a sob. “Yes, Simon. Yes!”
“Shit, Abigail,” he bit out. “You’re close already, aren’t you?”
“Yes!”
He started moving his finger in and out of me, his own breathing ragged now and his voice husky. I could feel his muscles quivering a bit too.
“Okay, sweetheart,” he murmured, his tone surprisingly gentle and reassuring. “Don’t worry. I’ve got you, okay? I’ve got you, Abi.”
“Yes.”
Shifting so he was beside me instead of on top, he kept thrusting his finger into me, bringing his thumb to my clit and drawing quick, tight circles around it. I was so swollen that pleasure raced through me immediately, my eyes screwing shut all over again.
I didn’t even try to hold back, letting the orgasm crash into me in all its exquisite glory. My toes curled and Simon’s name was on my lips. He kissed me again, sealing his mouth over mine and swallowing my incoherent screams as my body spasmed and fireworks went off behind my eyes.
“That was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen,” he murmured hoarsely as I started coming down.
Suddenly moving like a man possessed, he sat up on his knees and tore his shirt off over his head, reaching for mine with equal fervor in his movements. My arms felt like jelly, but I managed to free his belt and undo his fly. Then I pushed his pants and underwear off while he did the same with mine.
It was like a hurricane of clothes being tossed around the room, but within seconds, we were both naked and I beckoned him to me. “I want you, Simon.”
Those gorgeous green eyes of his were mostly black, his chest rising and falling fast, and red streaks flushing the tops of his cheeks. Holding himself up on his forearm, he looked into my eyes and slowly lowered his head, capturing my lips in a kiss that had me trembling all over again in no time.
His tongue delved into my mouth as I wrapped my legs around his hips and pulled him down. In that moment, time seemed to slow to a stop. I looked up into those intense green eyes and my heart swelled, so many memories of a time when I used to trust him absolutely tumbling through my mind. Simon had been my first and I had truly believed he would also be my last. My only.
I pushed my fingers into his hair and released a shaky breath, holding his face in my hands as I whispered, “It’s okay, Simon. Take me. Make me yours again.”